


Teach me how to dance

by mariadelaOMG



Series: Teach Me How To Dance [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Consent is Sexy, Explicit Sexual Content, Getting Together, I hate tagging, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, Post-Time Skip, Slow Burn, TW Attempted Sexual Assault Chapter 4, Too Many OCs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:47:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 119,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25997755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mariadelaOMG/pseuds/mariadelaOMG
Summary: Hajime has been persuaded to spend the winter break in San Juan.Hajime has just asked Tooru to teach him to dance reggaeton.Hajime doesn't know but there's no going back tojust friends.
Relationships: Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Oikawa Tooru/Original Male Character(s)
Series: Teach Me How To Dance [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1954438
Comments: 190
Kudos: 469





	1. Teach me how to dance

**Author's Note:**

> First time writing something, and English is not my first language, I'm sorry for any mistake.  
> Enjoy :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The way Tooru was moving against him made Hajime's hands shiver with need. He wanted to take him home and tear him apart piece by piece.
> 
> So he did.
> 
> God bless reggaeton.
> 
> cw: nsfw

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 18/10/2020: I'm planning on rewriting this chapter a bit since I didn't plan on publish the story in this specific order, so xD  
> Clarifications for anyone who starts this story now: Iwa is visiting Oikawa in Argentina, they made out once four months ago.

**_3rd January, 2015_ **

Tooru was close. Too close. Definitely invading his personal space.

_Why Hajime. Why. Did you seriously have to ask him how to dance reggaeton?_

It’s been too fast. One second, they were laughing and the next he had his _childhood best friend_ with one leg between his own and rolling his hips, rubbing his front with Hajime’s. Both guy’s hands on the other's waist. Tooru looked at him like he wanted to _devour_ him.

_Okay. Calm down. Control yourself Hajime, you’re just dancing with your best friend. He’s not too close, look around, everybody is dancing like this. It’s okay. It’s okay. Breathe. Relax. Don’t get a hard on. He’s too close, he would definitely notice. I repeat: Do. Not. Get. Hard. Think about… Dogs! Dogs are cute. Oikawa is cute. He has cute lips. Soft lips. Wet lips. OMG stop it, don’t look at his lips. Look him in the eyes. Don’t look him in the eyes, his eyes are gorgeous. Look at his forehead. Yeah, that’s a safe place. Wait, he’s turning around? Okay, do not think about his ass. His perfect ass rubbing against you… DO. NOT. GET. HARD. Wait, are you moving your hands? Hajime, why do you have your hands on his chest? He has a nice chest. A terribly nice, strong chest. Since when is he this broad? Do not lower your hands you idiot! God his abs… Hajime stop your hands. Stop melting. That’s right. Hands on his waist. Keep them there. This is good, this is nice. Okay. You’re just dancing with your best friend. Maybe you’re hard but that doesn’t mean anything, just try and avoid him noticing WHAT THE FUCK HAJIME DO NOT PRESS YOUR BONER TO HIS ASS WHAT ARE YOU THINKING. Oh, look, he’s turning again. Well, you’re fucked._

Oikawa turned around and looked at his best friend.

_Now or never._

He took Iwa’s hands and placed them on his ass. The boy opened his eyes but there was no shock in his gaze, just surprise and _curiosity_. He raised an eyebrow, and a defiant smile appeared on his face saying _What are you gonna do?_ Oikawa gulped.

_Now or never_. His mind repeated.

He pressed himself completely over him, grabbed his nape with his hands and leaned forward to whisper in his ear.

“Hajime… Let’s go home”

“Shit”

Iwa gripped his butt and he couldn't help it. He moaned. Right in his ear. 

Hajime snapped. They had to get out of there.

He took his hand and started their way out of the disco, pushing everyone. Behind him he could hear Tooru mumbling "sorry" to everyone, but he couldn't care less. He only had one thought on his mind: to take Oikawa home and make him moan. They weren't drunk, only took a couple of shots before the “dancing lesson” so he knew this was a completely sober decision that may or may not ruin their friendship and they couldn’t blame it on the alcohol. But that was a problem for tomorrow's Iwaizumi.

_Finally_ , they exited the club and decided to walk home since it wasn't a long distance, though walking may not be the way to say it. Hajime was almost running, desperate, Tooru's hand still in his. After a while, he spoke:

"Iwa-chan…"

He stopped and looked back.

"I think you're lost"

One look around and he knew the other guy was right. He didn’t recognize any of those buildings. He felt a pull on his arm and turned around. Tooru was blushing, with his free hand pointed to a street on their left.

“That way…” They were both breathing hard and Hajime was looking at him with such determination that his legs became jelly and it was a miracle he didn’t collapse on site “I… Just follow me”

They resumed walking, more calmly this time, no longer holding hands. Tooru walked a few steps ahead which Hajime appreciated so he could look at his ass. Those damn black jeans. He wanted to tear them off him.

“How long till your house?”

Tooru eyed him briefly over his shoulder before answering.

“Just ten more minutes. You didn’t stray much Iwa-chan” he giggled. He fucking giggled. He was too cute, too hot, and Hajime had stopped thinking a long time ago.

“Too much”.

He grabbed his wrist and dragged him to a dark alley they just passed by. He slammed Tooru’s back to the wall and before he could protest, he kissed him. It wasn’t tender nor sweet. It was a kiss full of hunger and want. Hajime was ravishing his mouth, forcing him to open it and take whatever he wanted to give him. He sucked his lower lip, biting softly before letting go. Tooru whined and unconsciously spread his legs slightly. He moved his hands to his lower back and pulled him forward, looking to resume what they had started earlier. Hajime gave him a crooked smile before complying and rolling his hips slowly without breaking eye contact till Oikawa rolled his eyes and let out that sinful noise Hajime was looking for. Tooru gasped when he felt Iwa’s hands under his thigh. He grabbed his leg and lifted it so he could position himself better between his legs and started moving again.

They didn’t know how long they were in that alley, lost amongst kisses, gasps and groans. Too busy humping each other to check the clock. Tooru was nailing his hands on Hajime’s back and his head was thrown back to give the other access to his neck. He was marking it thoroughly, sucking and biting. Licking his earlobe then moving to his jaw to keep biting.

The next thing Tooru’s mind could process was the rising heat. He felt it in his lower stomach, too familiar. He knew he was at the edge of his orgasm. They had to stop. He moved his hands from his back to the shoulders and pushed him lightly.

“Hajime…”

But he wasn’t listening, too busy rocking his hips and branding his neck.

“Iwa-ch” A new thrust of his hips cut his words and he whimpered. He was definitely gonna cum. “Iwa-chan, STOP”

Oikawa shoved him away and dropped his leg. Hajime looked startled.

“Fuck, Tooru, didn’t hear you… I’m sorry, I’m…”

“If you keep going, I'm gonna cum in my pants”

Tooru was breathing heavily, his perfect hair was disheveled, his lips swollen from the make out session and his shirt was wrinkled and glued to his body due to the sweat. Hajime licked his lips. He looked _delicious_. He needed him.

"And…" He took a step forward and grabbed his hips "where do you wanna cum, _Tooru_?"

He said his name with a low groan and it was too much. Iwa-chan affected him too much. His mind was screaming at him to get a grip and stop this. He knew this couldn’t be just a one-night stand for him. He knew they should talk before going further, and yet, he didn’t say anything. He was doomed and he accepted it. He would take whatever Iwa would give him that night without thinking twice. Future Oikawa would deal with the consequences. That’s why he turned off the logical part of his brain and put on his best seductive smile.

"Well, on my bed, preferably” He grasped the collar of Hajime’s shirt and pulled him closer “what about you?”

Nothing prepared him for his answer.

"Inside of you" and rubbed their crotches.

Tooru whined and unconsciously whispered:

“God, fuck me”

"In a minute" answered Iwa, chuckling. Tooru felt his face extremely hot. He was sure he had never been more flushed than in that moment. Then Hajime stepped back and took his hand. "First we have to get home"

Oikawa was a little disoriented as they left the alley but soon found the way home. They ran like if their lives depended on it, and in some twisted way they were. Ten minutes turned into two and soon he was bringing out his keys.

“ _Fucking finally_ ” Hajime groaned when the door closed and Oikawa pressed him between his chest and the wall.

Back at the club and in the alley, he had been taken by surprise and had caved easily but now, the race had cleared his mind and he was determined to take control of the situation. At least for a while. 

“Impatient much, Iwa-chan?” He teased, rising his arms to place them on the wall, caging the shorter one. He then proceeded to pepper soft kisses from his jaw to his neck, drawing out small whimpers from the other boy “You were too busy thinking about fucking me that you got lost” He bit his collarbone “Even after being here many times” 

Hajime wasn’t an idiot. He knew Tooru would want some sort of revenge for riling him up back in the alley, but the boy in front of him had been his best friend -although lately it seemed like that tag was going to change- for more than 20 years, so he also knew how to stop his bold manners. He wasn’t gonna let him in charge tonight. Maybe next time. He’d think about it. He grinned and traced a finger down from Oikawa’s chest to his stomach, then whispered:

“You’ve put on weight” 

The boy launched himself back with wide opened eyes and smacked him on the chest.

“What the hell Iwa-chan! Rude!”

Tooru should’ve known better. The second he had stepped back Hajime was already reaching to his wrist with a smug smile on his face, and before he could react, he was bent over his living room table with his hands pinned over his head.

“Don’t move. Keep your hands there.”

Tooru gulped. Hajime let go of his hands. He didn’t move them.

“Good.”

Tooru was gonna combust. Hajime wasn’t touching him. Sure, he had to be behind him but he wasn’t touching him and his mind was going crazy. Fuck his lousy attempt at being in charge. He was ready to beg him to touch him if necessary. He turned his head a bit so he could look at the other boy and bit his lip to suppress a moan when he realized that Iwa was only wearing his boxers. _Damn_ , he was hot.

Hajime raised an eyebrow when he saw the other staring and showed him a smile full of teeth. _Dangerous_ , Oikawa’s mind screamed at him.

“I see someone’s cheating”

Tooru gulped when he saw Hajime approaching and turned his head back to the front.

_Finally,_ he felt his hand sneaking under him to reach for the buttons of his shirt. Slowly, he started unbuttoning them while rubbing his fingers with the uncovered skin. When he finished, he gently pulled from the shirt’s collar and chuckled.

“You can move your hands now. Come on, help me undress you.”

Tooru swallowed and lifted his chest and hands just enough so that Iwa could remove his shirt. Then he went back to position.

Hajime inhaled. Exhaled. Inhaled. Exhaled. Trying to calm himself. The sight before him was too much to take. Tooru was in front of him, bent over a table, and _obeying_ him. Only those black jeans kept him from his target. He placed himself behind him.

“You didn’t let me finish earlier”

He grabbed his waist with his left hand.

“You’ve put on weight”

Tooru snorted.

_Seriously, Hajime? This is not funny, is this your dirty talk?_

“Your back is broader” He placed his right hand on his nape.

_Huh?_

“Your muscles, more defined” He let his fingers wander down his back, tracing the hollow of his spine till the edge of his pants. Then trailed them up again. “You don’t know what you do to me.”

_No,_ you _don’t know what you do to me Iwa-chan..._

“Your arms… bet your so much stronger than before _Tooru_ ”

Tooru was losing it. His fingers felt like hot lava where he touched him. It was taking him all of that strength to nail his hands to the table and to not turn around and kiss him. He felt Iwa grabbing his wrist.

“Makes me wonder what you’d do to me if I let you”

Tooru whined. God, he needed him _now_.

“But for tonight, you’re mine”

He moved his left hand from his waist to his ass cheek and gripped it over his trousers.

“ _This_ is mine.”

He leaned forward and bit his shoulder blade.

“I’m gonna wreck you, _Tooru_ ”

“Fuck, Hajime…”

“Let’s go” said while pulling apart “I think we’ve put this off for a long time.”

And they both knew he wasn’t talking about that night but about that tension between them since high school that strangely had increased since they moved away from Japan, even if they weren’t physically together.

When they entered the bedroom, Tooru felt the air changing around him and a heavy weight was installed in his stomach. Suddenly, he felt too exposed.

_We’re really gonna do it_.

Of course, Hajime felt his hesitation.

“What’s wrong?” said frowning slightly.

“Oh nothing, nothing Iwa-chan” replied the brunet. His eyes resting on any small detail of his bedroom but the boy standing in front of him.

“Tooru, we don’t have to…”

“No!” screamed “I want it, I really want it. I really _really want you_ ” he shot him his best inviting smile as he closed the space between them.

“Shittykawa…”

“Don’t call me that right now!” he pouted and smacked his chest with both hands, letting them rest there.

“Then don’t act stupid and tell me what’s going through your mind!”

Tooru took a deep breath. He felt his face getting redder under the intense gaze from his best friend.

“It’s just… I… Please, be…”

“Tooru”

His given name cut his words off. Hajime cupped his face with his hands, gently brushing his cheeks.

“I know, okay? I know, don’t worry. Don’t you trust me?” and flashed him _that_ smile. The smile that only Tooru got to see. Small and a bit crooked, accompanied by a fond look in his eyes.

_Well Tooru, you’re fucked._

“With my whole being”

Iwa leaned over him and kissed him. It wasn’t like their previous kisses, with tongues and teeth everywhere. This was slower. More sensual. More intimate. Oikawa’s heart skipped a beat. Hajime was kissing him _reverently_. He tilted his head to deepen it and felt a low groan against his mouth.

They danced around the room till the back of his knees found the edge of the bed. Tooru gasped and fell back with Hajime over him, who quickly resumed the kissing without giving him much time to think about the warm body pressed against his and trapping him there.

Iwa was now capturing his lips in a heated kiss. He was licking into his mouth, pressing his tongue against his palate. He sucked lightly on his tongue and let go. The boy leaned down and started nibbling his earlobe, bringing out soft whimpers from the brunet’s throat. Tooru felt breathless, and opened his eyes just to see the smirk on Hajime’s face.

Hajime’s kisses trailed down his chest. With the first lick to his nipple, Tooru gasped. With the second, he moaned. His pants felt terribly uncomfortable. He needed Iwa-chan to move faster, but the boy was taking his time, worshiping his body. He was patiently alternating between sucking, licking and biting his nub. When he felt satisfied, he moved to the symmetrical one. Tooru ran a hand through his hair and pulled to let him know his needs. Hajime only chuckled.

“Iwa-chan…”

“Just relax and enjoy, Tooru”

With a last sucked, he freed his nipple and moved down, showering his chest and abs with soft kisses, till he got to his hip bone where he took a bite. His hands quickly moved to unbutton and unzip the jeans. Then he kissed his bulge and Tooru’s whine went right to his cock. He stood up to more easily slide the pants off his legs with the help of a giggly Tooru that raised his hips and fucking _wiggled_ them in front of his face. He moved away a bit to calm down and placed the trousers on the chair’s back. When he turned back to face him, his mouth went dry with the sight.

Tooru was naked. _Naked_. With his legs spread and his arms crossed behind his head. His dick resting on his stomach, hard and defiant and shiny with precum that he wanted to lick off. The bastard had taken his boxers off when he wasn’t looking.

They had seen each other naked many times, but never like that. His own cock twitch inside his boxers at the sight.

_Shit._

“Iwa-chan, you’re staring” Tooru’s face displayed a boastful grin. “Like what you see?”

Hajime growled.

“You’re really eager, aren’t you?” He arched an eyebrow.

“ _Yes_ ”

“Then you should tell me where you keep your lube, don’t you think?” He slowly walked around the bed, caressing Oikawa’s leg so mildly that it was almost as if he wasn’t touching him, and stopped before getting to his groin.

“Second…” Tooru sighed “Second drawer of the night stand table”

Hajime grabbed it swiftly and threw it on the bed between Oikawa’s legs. The boy gulped.

“Aren’t you… aren’t you gonna wear a condom?”

He was looking up at him from the bed, his eyes never leaving his face while Iwa went to the other side of the room and rummaged his suitcase. He stood up and dropped a blue package beside the lube. He gave him a smug grin before talking.

“Yours don’t fit, you’re larger” he sneaked his fingers under the elastic band of his boxers “I’m wider” and put them down.

Tooru was breathless. His mind had stopped working. Hell, he wasn’t even thinking that Iwa-chan had brought a full pack of condoms to Argentina - maybe he thought they would end up like this? -. The only thing he could do was stare at him. Stare at his dick, precisely.

“Shittykawa, you’re staring. Like what you see?” teased him, throwing his words back at him.

Tooru raised his gaze and his face turned red. He couldn’t speak so he just covered his eyes with an arm and nodded.

The edge of the bed sunk under the weight of his knees.

“Hey”

Tooru peaked an eye from under his arm.

“ _Watch me_ ”

That was an order. Tooru placed his hands at his sides, slightly pulling from the sheets. He bit his lips expectantly.

Hajime settled between Tooru’s thighs and started pressing open mouthed kisses on them. He opened the bottle of lube and coated his fingers with it thoroughly while sucking on a spot that was making the other boy moan. When he thought he had the right amount of lube, he licked the bruised dot and focused his gaze on Tooru’s shaft. He _really_ wanted to suck him off. To feel him on his throat and taste him on his tongue. But it’d had to wait.

_Another time_

Fuck. That had been the second time that night he had thought about repeating it. He took a deep breath to calm his heart that felt like it was trying to leave his chest from how strongly it was beating. They really needed to talk tomorrow.

He moved his eyes a bit lower. Tooru was calling him, begging him to wreck him like he had promised earlier. He didn’t want to keep him waiting any longer.

“Do you touch yourself here, Tooru?” and pressed his finger lightly over his rim.

_Damn Iwa-chan and his shameless tongue that apparently ran wild when he was turned on._

Oikawa only nodded.

“How often?” asked while spreading more lube.

“Twice… or thrice a week”

Iwa smirked.

“You really like it, don’t you?

He slowly began sliding the first finger inside him and Tooru cursed under his breath.

He couldn’t speak and Hajime knew it. He couldn’t speak and it was only one finger inside of him, but he had waited a long time for this and his body was on edge after almost cumming in that alley. His mind and nerves couldn’t take it anymore and Hajime was asking too many questions.

“How many fingers?”

_Damn him, damn him, damn him_.

“Two… most of the time”

“Is that so?” he started pushing in and out at a steady pace “then, how many fingers on special occasions?”

Tooru had his chest detached from the bed, weight resting on his elbows, his eyes following the movement of Iwa’s hand. His eyelids were feeling heavy but he had been told to watch and he was intending to comply.

“Thr… Three…” 

Hajime pulled out the finger a bit and pressed the second against him. He looked up and locked eyes with Oikawa. As he pushed both fingers through his rim Tooru’s throat let out a whimper.

_Fuck Tooru, you’ll be the death of me._

He began scissoring his fingers and Tooru nailed his hands on the sheets, slightly pulling them. He felt the stretch and it felt _so good_.

“And would you say this is a special occasion?”

He curled them and Tooru gasped.

“Ye… Yeah…”

He increased the speed of his hand and sneaked the free one under Oikawa’s thigh to grab his hip. Tooru couldn’t help it, he let his body sink on the bed and moaned loudly. It was frustrating. He could feel Hajime slightly brushing his prostate and wailed.

“Hajime…”

But instead of listening, he removed his fingers completely. Tooru was losing his patience.

“Iwa-chan…”

His whine was cut off thanks to the pression of three fingers on his hole. Tooru gasped when they entered him and closed his eyes, letting himself be drowned in the burning sensation of the stretching.

It was maddening, the slow pace Iwa was following. Tooru started moving his hips, encouraging him to _speed up_.

“Don’t be so eager, relax” and strengthen the grip on his hip, gently caressing the soft skin and keeping him steady.

He spread his fingers inside of him and felt the muscle tightening around them.

“ _Tooru_ ”

“Sorry”

“I can’t move if you do that”

“Sorry, sorry…” he chuckled “That was involuntary.”

Hajime scoffed.

“Idiot.” And gave him a deep thrust that stopped Tooru’s laugh.

He couldn’t wait to slide himself in but he had to get him ready first. The last thing he wanted was to hurt him, he was determined to make that night unforgettable, just in case it was their only one. His hand gained more speed as he drank the lustful noises the boy was doing. He worked them in and out at a steady pace before pressing them against the prostate.

“More”

He brushed that spot again and Tooru wailed.

“Please Hajime, _more_.”

Tooru was begging. Looking at him with a pleading face that threw the remains of his sanity over the window.

_God he’s gorgeous._

He slowly removed his fingers and cleaned them on the sheet. He sat back on his heels and grabbed the box of condoms. He stroked himself to full hard again and ripped the package with his teeth. He rolled the condom on his cock and spread more lube over it.

Tooru hadn’t looked away from him, his curious eyes watching every move expectantly. He saw as Hajime prepared himself and settled his tanned body over his. He could feel the beating of his heart ricocheting in his chest, so loud that made him wonder if his best friend would hear it. He had dreamt of this, ever since they kissed for the first time the night of Hugo’s wedding after hours of drinking and having fun, lips tasting like alcohol and sweat. He had woken up the morning after curled next to him on his sofa, with a terrible headache and the painful certainty that he was in love.

His body squirmed when he felt something poking his side. He blinked and focused his eyes on Hajime’s face. He was blushing and his mouth formed a nervous smile.

“You were zoning out”

“Sorry”

“Are you okay?”

Tooru blinked again.

“Yes, sorry…”

“We can stop if you want…”

“No!”

He threw his arms forward and grabbed his shoulders. 

“No” repeated. He traveled one hand to his nape and the other ran through his scalp. “Please, Hajime… Iwa-chan… I need you; I need you; I need you...”

He kept whispering that plea till their mouths collided.

Hajime slipped one hand to his cock, positioning on his entrance. He broke the kiss.

“Tooru, relax.”

The boy inhaled, and gasped when he felt the member passing through his rim and slowly entering him. His hands returned to Iwa’s shoulders and started clawing them. Hajime was meanwhile spattering his jaw with kisses, carefully searching his face for any sign of discomfort. When Tooru hissed he stopped, which made the brunet pouted.

“Just put it in”

“No, it’s gonna hurt”

“ _I don’t care_ ” he wailed.

“Well I do!” Tooru was startled by the sudden rise in tone. “Now stop complaining and let yourself adjust. Tell me when I can move.”

After a few minutes full of soft kisses and caresses, Tooru no longer felt his skin burning. He bit Iwa’s lower lip and pulled from it, to draw his attention. When the boy lazily opened his eyes and looked at him, Tooru nodded. Hajime pressed their foreheads together and moved his hips forward. Both guys sighed when he bottomed out. 

Suddenly, Tooru burst out laughing. Hajime smiled and blushed.

“What’s so funny?”

“It’s just… I’m so happy Iwa-chan…” He leaned forward and kissed him. “Now, move. _Please_.”

“As you command, Tooru.”

After that, he couldn’t stop.

He began rocking his hips at a slow pace, feeling the warm embrace around him. The boy below him couldn’t stop moaning and soon he followed him. It felt too good and he couldn’t control them anymore. The room was filled with the sounds coming from their throats intertwining. Tooru’s nails were scratching his back and every time he pushed himself in, he dug them more. It felt itchy but also _great_.

He sped up his thrusts, always looking at Tooru. His eyes closed and his mouth parted, beautiful whimpers leaving it. He leaned forward and kissed him, wanting to get drunk on those lips. He slammed his hips deeper and Tooru cried out against his mouth.

“You feel so damn good”

_I can’t believe it’s really you Iwa-chan…_

Tooru had dreamt about this, had wished for it for a long time, but he never imagined he would feel this way. Hajime was above him, pounding him into the mattress, with his signature frown plastered on his face and panting. His cock was drilling him and the lower part of his belly rubbed against his member. Oikawa was getting closer and closer to the point of no return.

“ _Yes_ ” Tooru screamed when he felt Hajime’s dick brushing against _that_ spot.

Hajime breathed heavily, a layer of sweat covering his body due to the exertion. 

“There?” he stopped.

“God yes, there Hajime. _Don’t stop._ ”

He snorted.

“Bossy”

His retort died in his throat as Hajime angled himself better to hit that spot with every thrust. He rolled his head back and arched his back as a loud moan shuddered through his body. Hajime was getting steadily faster. He slid his right hand between his bodies to grab Oikawa’s cock and the boy gasped, crossing his legs behind the lower part of his back. He pumped Tooru’s shaft in sync with his thrusts.

“ _Así Hajime, así._ ”

_Fuck._

His hips slammed into him erratically but trying to keep hitting his prostate. He felt Tooru tightening around his member. He came with a long lewd moan that went straight to Hajime’s cock. One, two, three more thrusts and he followed.

“ _Tooru_ ”

He shut his eyes and let out a low groan as he rocked his hips deep into him riding out his orgasm, his left hand embedded on the sheets trying not to collapse on top of Tooru. Minutes after, he finally opened his eyes to look at him. He was staring back, panting, and a completely satisfied smile covering his face.

“Not bad, Iwa-chan.”

“Right back at you, Shittykawa.”

He smirked and both chuckled. He let his gaze wander over the body below him and saw his hand and Tooru’s stomach stained with his semen. He brought his hand to his mouth and began licking his fingers clean without breaking eye contact with the brunet. When he finished, he repeated the process with the stomach, adding gentle kisses to the mix that made Tooru whimpered. Finally, he took the tip of his dick in his mouth and sucked gently.

“You taste good.”

Oikawa’s face couldn’t get redder. He pulled out of him completely and Tooru whined. He felt empty.

_God I’ve just had sex with Iwa-chan. I’ve had Iwa-chan inside of me. He’s kissed me. He just told me I taste good. Oh my God Oikawa Tooru you’re doomed._

While his mind was freaking out, his eyes followed Hajime’s movements. He unrolled the used condom and threw it in the trash can, then walked to the bathroom. He grabbed a clean towel and put it under the sink, getting it wet. He came back and settled himself between his spread legs. He pressed the warm towel against his entrance and slowly started cleaning his hole. When he finished, he threw the cloth on the floor and stared at him.

“You’re gorgeous.”

Iwa-chan was trying to kill him. That was the only certainty in his mind at the moment. He felt his eyes stinging. He couldn’t cry in front of him.

“I’m… I’m gonna get some water. Do you want some?”

He stood up and passed right by his side without waiting for his answer but Hajime was faster. He grabbed his wrist and forced him to look at him.

“Are you okay?”

He frowned in that adorable way and Tooru caught the worry inside his eyes. His heart skipped a beat.

“Yep.” His hand made its characteristic V sign “Never better.”

He left the room and walked to the kitchen. He opened the fridge and the sudden light made him squint his eyes. He quickly grabbed the water bottle and closed the door, being swallowed by the darkness again. He looked through the window as he drank directly from the bottle. His mom would sure nag him for that.

_Who cares? I live alone, and Iwa-chan and I had just shared more than spit._

The sight of San Juan at night always left him breathless. It may not be the most beautiful city in the world but it was home. There, he had finally been able to be himself after years of denial. He sighed and pushed away that trail of thought. His mind quickly summoned Hajime’s face. The corners of his mouth went up in a smile but his eyes filled with sadness.

_Would you leave me, Hajime, if I told you how I feel? Would you feel disgusted? Angry, for not having told you before this night? Would you accuse me of tricking you into this and never talk to me again? Or maybe, just maybe, you would feel the same?_

He left the bottle on the counter and went back to his bedroom.

_It doesn’t matter. I don’t think I’ll ever tell you. I’m too scared to lose you, Iwa-chan. I rather be forever just your best friend than risk losing you._

He could see Hajime’s back. The boy was lying on his side, his sleeping silhouette bathed by the moonlight. Tooru tried calming his heart down as he slid on the other side of his bed, as far from him as he could.

“Are you seriously not gonna spoon me after what we’ve done?”

That statement got him by surprise and he turned to face Iwa’s back.

“I… I thought you were asleep.”

“Of course.”

He couldn’t see him but Tooru was sure he had rolled his eyes. He gulped.

“Do you want me… to spoon you?”

“Yeah. Now hurry, I’m cold”

His heart stopped. He swiftly moved over to him and lightly pressed his chest to his back, sneaking one arm between them and placing the other one over his waist and near the other’s hand, their fingers brushing. Hajime moved backwards to connect more skin and intertwined their fingers. 

_Well, you were wrong earlier Tooru. You’re not doomed. You’re already dead._

He sighed and shut his eyes close. His last thought before falling asleep:

_I love you, Iwa-chan._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!
> 
> Kudos to Taylor Swift for teaching us the meaning of ricochet.
> 
> Así, Hajime, así = Like that, Hajime, like that
> 
> The song that inspired this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpLZeSigNvY


	2. Asshole number three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Did you like it?”  
> “Did you?”  
> “I asked first, Iwa-chan.”  
> “Yeah, Shittykawa. A lot.”  
> “Mean! Did you really need to insult me now?”  
> “Just answer, Tooru.”  
> “I loved it, Iwa-chan. Thank you. It was perfect.”  
> “Thank you, Tooru.”

_**4th January, 2015** _

Winter in Argentina was hot. It took Tooru a whole month and a very _very_ high water bill to come with the perfect plan for his survival. He traded his long cold twice-maybe-thrice-a-day showers for a decent air conditioning system with a scheduling program he could turn on before going to bed and it would automatically switch off at the hour requested. That way he ensured himself a good sleep and clean sheets for more than one night. Iwa had teased him for his resolutive manners during a video call.

_Wow, Shittykawa. I must say I’m impressed, I thought you wouldn’t survive by yourself._

_Mean Iwa-chan! Let me tell you I’m a completely functional grown-up. I’m even cooking right now!_

_Is that why there’s smoke coming from your kitchen?_

_Shit! Gotta go!_

_Dumbass._

Tooru wished he could say he didn’t know why he was thinking of that specific conversation at the moment, but the truth was last evening he had been too busy to remember programming his AC before going to bed, and now there were two extremely sweaty bodies on his mattress. The weird thing was he had slept peacefully when usually he would have woken up like five times or so and in need of a jar of water.

But that night had been different. He had dozed into sleep hugging Iwa-chan and newly fucked. The blood rushed to his cheeks and the beating of his heart increased his pace at the thoughts of what they did. At first, he had hesitated, too aware of the fact they were crossing the line from best friends to something yet unknown. Then Hajime had asked him if he trusted him and blew his doubts away. They were Oikawa and Iwaizumi. They’ve been inseparable since birth. One orgasm couldn’t break his bond.

He smiled hearing the rustling of the sheets behind him. At some point, they had stopped cuddling and now he was lying on his back near the edge of the bed while Hajime was taking most of it like he always did.

_Ha-chan I’m gonna fall, move away!_

_...don’twanna…_

_Ha-chan I’m gonna tell your mom you’re bullying me._

_…_

_…_

_‘kay, I’ll move..._

He tried to open his eyes to look at him and the realization that he didn’t remove his contact lenses hit him. His eyes were dry, he couldn’t separate his eyelids… It was painful. He cursed to himself and mourned the loss of the newly used pair. Luckily for him the bathroom wasn’t far from the bed so it shouldn’t be difficult for him to reach it blindly and in silence not to wake Iwa-chan up.

He slowly sat up on the mattress and bent over till his fingertips touched the wall. His sore muscles complained as he stood up. He blushed when he felt an unknown ache in his lower back. He always assumed it’d be more painful but the sting was just slightly uncomfortable. Thank God for Hajime’s self-control when he impatiently had asked him to _just put it in_.

He closed the bathroom door behind him and hesitated before locking it. He needed some time alone to think before The Talk. He switched on the light and opened the drawer under the sink to palpate the bottles until he found what he identified as contact lens liquid. He cursed again as he threw his head back and began pouring it on his eyes trying to wet them enough so he could open them. Slowly, he blinked once, twice and finally he could see again. His eyes were irritated, injected in red. He'd have to wear glasses for a couple days. He washed his hands and removed the contacts. Luckily, he wasn’t too short-sighted that he was blind without them. He could see well, although a little blurry.

Once that problem was solved, he moved on to examine himself in front of the mirror. Hajime had left quite a few stamps, especially on his neck. There were hickeys and teeth-shape marks all over from his left ear to the shoulder, probably from the alley. He had been more careful once they’d gotten to bed. Tooru bit his lip and a shiver travelled through his body at the thought. His gaze wandered over his body and stopped at the bruise on his thigh. He smiled at his reflection, then covered his face with his hands and chuckled.

It had been the best night of his life so far. He applauded himself for his bravery at the club, when he had told him to go home, even though it had actually been Hajime who started it all.

_What song is this one?_

_Travesuras, Iwa-chan. Mischiefs, in English._

_I like it. This is reggaeton, isn’t it?_

_Yep! It’s the best music to dance to, if you ask me._

_Can you teach me?_

As they say, the rest was history. They had gotten horny ( _thanks, Nicky Jam_ ) and fucked. And Tooru couldn’t be happier.

He got into the shower and let the cold water run through his body for a while before beginning to wash himself. At the same time, his mind was reviewing every little detail of the night. The best ideas and thoughts occurred in the bathroom once someone said, and to him it couldn’t be truer. He always came up with the way to defeat their next opponent while having a shower. But in that moment, he wasn’t trying to defeat someone. He was trying to decipher his best friend's feelings for him.

He told him he was cold, which Tooru knew was a lie. So, it was an excuse to cuddle with him. Did that mean he liked him? Tooru wasn’t sure. Since those drunk kisses on his sofa, barely five months ago, he had found himself falling more and more in love with Hajime. Every text, every call, every movie night, each one in their own room, over ten thousand kilometers apart, made his heart beat faster. At first, he didn’t know what was happening to him, until the libero of his team had caught him in the locker room after practice looking at the latest selfie Iwa-chan had sent him and opened his eyes.

_Big smile you have there, Toru. What did Iwa-chan send you?_

_It’s a selfie! Look, he cut his hair, isn’t he cute?_

_So, when are you two finally getting together?_

_Huh?_

_Toru oh my god it’s so painfully obvious for all of us that you love him._

_N-no… I don’t love him, why do you say that?_

_Cause your face literally lights up and your mood gets better every time you talk to him!_

_But that… I… I don’t love him… I think._

He gave him a sad smile and left.

In the next video call Tooru realized he was indeed completely, irrevocably and utterly in love with him.

He knew he wasn’t gonna confess his feelings. He couldn’t bear the rejection, the sad look in Hajime’s eyes, the “ _Oh, Tooru…_ ” that would leave his lips. The pity. So, he’d swallow all of it.

Once his hair and body were clean, he stepped out of the shower and dried himself with the tower. He placed it on his hips and breathed deeply, trying to calm down the beating of his heart. He was nervous. He thought Iwa-chan was asleep as he wasn’t hearing any movement, but still he could have woken up when he was in the shower. He hoped that wasn’t the case. He needed to get dressed and relax a bit more before facing him.

Tooru unlocked the door and opened it a bit, just enough so he could observe the status of his room, and exhaled the air he didn’t know he’d been holding when he saw the silhouette of Hajime on the bed, still asleep. His mouth watered and his cock twitched at the sight of his perfectly muscled tanned body, but he couldn’t stay long or he risked getting caught. He took his glasses from the bedside table before tiptoeing to his wardrobe and grabbing some clean underpants, an old t-shirt and sports shorts.

He left the bedroom and put on the clothes in the hall, then proceeded to hang up the towel on the clothesline. He walked to the kitchen where he grabbed a cup, filled it with water and put it in the microwave to heat it. Meanwhile, he opened the cupboard and took out his collection of teas. When he heard the _ping_ and took the cup, he had already decided for the classic and simple green. He moved to sit on the couch and took a sip. Now, he just had to wait for Hajime to wake up and talk about what the hell was going to happen after last night.

Tooru didn’t know what had meant to Iwa-chan, honestly. Had it been a one-night stand? Did he want to repeat it? Did he even like it? Was he just doing him a favor? Or maybe it wasn’t a favor and he just wanted to release some tension and Tooru was at hand.

_Stop._

Tooru pinched his nose. He had to stop that train of thought. Hajime would never use him like that.

So, he narrowed it to two options: one-night stand or the possibility of friends with benefits. The term _boyfriends_ wasn’t even in the equation. Tooru’s mind had discarded it as soon as it had appeared. 

He thought about his possibilities. He thought about doing it again and his stomach curled with excitement. Then, he thought about the distance that came between them and his heart cracked a bit. Then, about Iwa-chan telling him he didn’t want to have benefits anymore and his heart cracked a bit more.

Tooru sighed and took a sip from his cup. They couldn’t repeat it or he was gonna get hurt one way or another.

“Morning…”

He jumped from the sofa and spit the tea. He spinned his head so quickly he swore he heard a bone click.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you”

Hajime yawned and stretched his arms over his head. Tooru blinked and felt his cock starting to grow inside his pants.

“Don- Don’t worry”

He was naked. Couldn't he have put on at least his underwear? Oikawa let his eyes travel his body, drooling at the sight. When his gaze went back up to his face, he realized _he_ had realized what he was doing. Tooru’s face blushed instantly and turned his head back again to the turned-off TV.

“I’m gonna take a shower.”

“O- Okay. You know where the towels are.”

Tooru took another sip. He could feel his heart beat in his ears. After a few seconds, he noticed he hadn’t heard Iwa-chan leaving the room. Slowly, he turned around his head to check, and his suspicions were true. He was still standing there, his eyes locked on him.

“Wanna join me?”

He opened his eyes and mouth in shock and his face quickly reddened. Had he heard him correctly? Hajime raised an eyebrow, expecting an answer that shouldn’t take that long to give, but Tooru’s mind was freaking out. His horny-self and his logical-self fighting.

_YES, GOD YES. You know you want him. Shower with him. Let him bend you over the sink and…_

_You’re setting yourself for heartbreak! Stay still on this couch and finish your tea!_

“I… I already showered…”

Hajime frowned and squinted his eyes, examining him, trying to read his mind. Finally, he relaxed his face and pointed at Tooru’s cup.

“Green tea?”

“Yes.”

“Could you make me one, please?”

“Sure.”

“Thanks.” Hajime had started turning when he spoke up again. “We’ll talk about last night when I finish.”

Tooru’s body squirmed as he disappeared into the bedroom. He stayed there internally screaming for five minutes till he caught on to the fact that he had a tea to make. He would take that time to steady his heart and clear his mind.

When Hajime came back to the living room, Tooru was waiting for him on the right side of the sofa. He plunged on the empty space on his left and grabbed the cup on the table to take a sip.

“Thanks again.”

“You’re welcome, Iwa-chan.”

And silence fell upon them. They weren't looking at each other. Neither of them knew how to start the conversation and Hajime really feared Tooru was regretful. Last night he had left the room almost immediately after finishing, then he laid down as far away from him as he could, and this morning he had found him pinching his nose and staring still at the TV.

“Do you regret it?”

His voice startled Tooru who turned his head and looked right at him with his face screaming confusion and his mouth opening and closing like if he didn’t know what to say. Finally, he closed his eyes, breathed, and flashed him a small smile as he blushed.

“I don’t regret it.”

Hajime felt his muscles relaxed and buried his face in his hands.

“Thank God…”

Tooru blushed even harder.

“Sorry. I know…” he sighed. “I know why you could think that and I’m really sorry. I just… panicked a bit.”

“Okay, okay...”

They were quiet for a while. Hajime drinking his tea and Tooru looking through the window. Both glancing at each other when they didn’t notice. However, occasionally, they looked at the same time and then blushed and smiled slightly.

One of those times, Hajime lowered his look to Tooru’s neck.

“I did a number on you, didn’t I?” he said, gently caressing his collarbone.

Tooru giggled nervously under the touch.

“Just a few Iwa-chan. It’s okay, don’t worry, I don’t have practice in two days and by then they’d be gone…”

“Couldn’t help it. You were very... appetizing.”

They were now both flushed and smiling, which gave Tooru a bit of courage to ask what had been nagging him.

“Did you like it?”

Hajime stopped his caresses and hesitated before answering.

“Did you?”

Tooru laughed.

“I asked first, Iwa-chan.”

Hajime smacked his shoulder before answering.

“Yeah, Shittykawa. A lot.”

“Mean! Did you really need to insult me now?”

“Just answer, Tooru.”

He looked at him, his green eyes covered with worry. Tooru moved closer to him and took his right hand into his. With his free one, he bopped his nose and Hajime smiled.

“I loved it, Iwa-chan. Thank you. It was perfect.”

“Thank you, Tooru.”

He moved his arm over Tooru’s head to put him closer. The brunet rested his head on his shoulder and closed his eyes, feeling Hajime’s fingers massaging his scalp. The intimacy of it made his heart bleed a little. He had a question yet to be asked.

“Do you wanna repeat?”

Hajime hadn’t hesitated in the club. Hajime had brought an unopened box of condoms. Hajime had asked him to shower with him. Hajime hadn’t even blinked at the latest question.

And Tooru’s mind didn’t know what to think of it. He was taking his time with the answer, his fingers never stopped caressing him. Tooru moved a bit so he could watch him. He had blushed and was looking at him.

“Honestly? I wouldn’t mind it, Tooru.” He dropped his eyes to Tooru’s lips and then his eyes again. “Would you?”

_This is it. He wants a second round. Maybe even a third. Maybe he doesn’t wanna stop till he leaves tomorrow. ‘Cause he leaves tomorrow, Tooru. And who knows when you’ll see each other again. You’re already head over heels, do you really want another taste of something you’re never getting? He doesn’t love you like that. He’s just your best friend. You have to stop it. You’re the one who’s gonna get hurt..._

“I think… I think it’s better if we don’t repeat it, Iwa-chan.”

_Safer,_ he wanted to say. He felt Hajime tensed and sighed.

“Yeah, you’re right. Besides, we don’t even live in the same country.”

“Exactly! What are we gonna do? Take a plane every time the other is horny?”

“A thirty-five-hour plane with two flight scales!”

“It’s madness!”

“Yes, it is!”

That morning, Tooru rode Hajime on the couch.

* * *

_**18th January, 2015** _

It’s been two weeks since Hajime had gotten back to Irvine. 

Tooru could never get used to not having him around. And with the new additions to their friendship, even less.

They had agreed not to repeat it and half an hour later they had broken the deal. They had sex on his couch, on his table, on his bed again, and in his shower, where Hajime had blown him until he had seen Heaven. He had left so many marks that it was impossible for Tooru to cover them all, and of course his teammates teased him about it.

_Wow, someone got laid during Holidays!_

_Toru, you, stud!_

_Iwa-chan was here visiting you, right?_

_Tell him to cut his nails!_

_Are you guys finally together?!_

_No! We just… we had sex._

He had blushed so hard they had called him _TomaToru_ until Blanco threatened them with more drills.

Tooru knew they weren’t together. He knew. But the truth was he didn’t know what they were either. One part of him -the hopeless romantic one- was screaming at him that Hajime felt the same, that they may not be officially _boyfriends_ but that they were _something_. There was no way it all had only been a horny weekend.

In the airport, they had said goodbye with a kiss. But not a quick peck on the lips, no. It had been a long french kiss that made some of the spectators whistle and both of them smiled through it. Hajime had promised to text him when he finally got to the university dorms and Tooru had watched as he left with his heart as extra luggage.

Everything stayed the same. They texted almost all the time, sending selfies, memes, funny tweets and updated the other with the life of each. With the exception of that one-time things got heated. Last Sunday, after Tooru had sent him a picture of his ass in the new pair of jeans he had bought. The answer Hajime gave him startled him because he couldn’t believe he was texting those things. _To him_.

**To: Iwa-chan <3**

iwa-chan

what was that

are u flirting with me?

**To: Tooru**

I’ve literally told you I wished I could take off those jeans you're wearing and fuck you.

I think that’s more than flirting.

Their texts had become more and more bold until they ended up calling and jerking off to the voice of each other.

But apart from that and the fact that Tooru had to bite his tongue every time they made a video call not to confess -cause he definitely didn’t want to tell him he loved him through the computer- everything stayed the same.

The next Saturday, they had agreed to skype at night, when Oikawa was about to go to bed and Iwa was having dinner. His heart was pounding on his chest. He had spent an hour choosing what pyjamas he should wear, finally opting for the one with the big alien face printed on the front, and fixing his hair. He had also decided to wear his glasses because Iwa-chan had told him he looked cute with them, after teasing him about not having removed his contacts. 

But the boy was running late. Tooru just assumed he would be busy studying or doing some work, so he decided to play Candy Crush while waiting. Half an hour later he got a text.

**From: Iwa-chan <3**

Sorry, can’t make it today, but tomorrow at the same time?

He sighed. He felt disappointed but he understood. He began typing his typical answer ( _Iwa-chan, don’t force your brain too much or it’ll explode~_ ) when he got another text from him.

**From: Iwa-chan <3**

I have news.

He frowned. Usually, Hajime was straight-forward, he never sent him mystery messages like that one. What news? Did he pass an exam? No, he would have told him directly. Did something happen back at home? Was his family okay? No, he would never be cryptic about that, he would have called him immediately.

A whisper from his heart got to his brain.

_Maybe it’s a surprise and he’s going back to Argentina soon…_

No. He couldn’t get his hopes up like that. Iwa-chan had just visited and he was an almost-broke college student. Plane tickets were expensive. Besides, something in his gut was telling him this was bad news. He breathed deeply and replied.

**To: Iwa-chan <3**

sure iwa-chan! can’t wait to hear them

night night <3

**From: Iwa-chan <3**

Good night, Tooru.

* * *

_**19th January, 2015** _

Tooru was once again in his alien pyjamas, with his laptop on his thighs, waiting for Hajime. Finally, his blurry face appeared on the screen.

“Hey there, Iwa-chan!”

He waved, waiting for the other to connect his headphones.

“Good night, Tooru.”

He seemed nervous, but, in a good way? Tooru wasn’t sure. He could see Hajime's little smile but his eyes weren’t meeting his and that was weird. 

“You okay? Anything you want to talk about?”

Hajime hesitated, confirming his suspicions.

“It’s alright, it can wait. Tell me about your week. You said Lucia was teaching you how to bake Alfajores?”

Tooru really didn’t want to talk about how his neighbor was teaching him to bake when there was something clearly bugging Iwa, but if he said it could wait, then it could wait.

“Yeah! Last Wednesday I went over there after practice ‘cause they had left a letter for her on my mailbox and when she opened the door it smelled delicious! Iwa-chan, you wouldn’t believe it! So, I asked what it was, right? And he said he was with her grandson doing some baking and invited me and I obviously couldn’t say no, and…”

He went on and on, detailing every aspect of the recipe and every failure he had committed until he had made a decent bunch - _though_ _not as good as Lucia’s, that woman is a genius_ \- and then started talking about practice and his team. He saw Hajime smiling at him, though it didn’t reach his eyes. Tooru was becoming more and more anxious, though he didn’t externalize it.

“... aaaand that’s all Iwa-chan! I think I’ve told you literally everything that happened to me this last week.”

“Why don’t you tell me about that drama you were watching? Is it interesting?”

“Hajime, what’s wrong? I know you can’t resist the sweet sound of my voice but you’re awfully quiet and I know you, there’s something on your mind.” He smiled, encouraging him. “Come on, we promised to tell each other everything.”

Hajime took a deep breath and smiled back at him.

“I was on a date, yesterday.”

Tooru thought a truck could have run him over and it would have hurt less than that sentence. He knew it was bad news. He knew it. He blinked and his smile crooked.

“What?”

“Yeah, sorry. I know it’s shitty that I didn’t tell you earlier, I’m sure you were waiting when you should have gone to bed instead. I’m sorry, I was having dinner with her and got distracted.”

Her. _Her_. 

“Her?”

Hajime blinked in surprise. He thought Tooru would be mad because he ditched him but not that he asked about that little detail.

“Well, yeah. Actually, you know her. Remember Tessa? She came with us to the beach when you visited.”

Of course, he remembered Tessa. Perfect-legs-perfect-face-perfect-brain Tessa.

“I remember her.”

He felt his mouth drying out. He tried to calm down. Hajime was talking but he couldn't hear much.

“Well, her. Last Saturday we all went to a party. I told you about it, remember? And we were talking all night, and she’s really nice, and when we were leaving, she asked me to go out with her yesterday and I said yes.”

His mind was running wild. Last Saturday. He _knew_ they were going on a date since last Saturday. He had known it the whole week. He knew it when they were jerking off last Sunday. He knew it yesterday and yet he had kept him waiting.

“Why...” He couldn’t speak. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I’m sorry. I honestly forgot I had to meet her until she called me ‘cause I was late. University’s been killing me lately.”

Tooru was confused and his heart was beating too fast. Hajime kept talking and his brain was barely registering his words.

“Anyways, I’m really sorry. We went to that Italian restaurant right outside campus -I have to take you there next time you visit by the way- and we talked and we never ran out of topics. She’s really interesting, and funny. She told me this joke and, oh my God Tooru, I couldn’t breathe, I almost died of laughter…”

“But… Did she know… Did you…” He took a deep breath and held it till he could speak again. He faintly heard Hajime asking him if he was okay. “didyoutellhearboutus”

He closed his eyes with such strength white dots appeared. He didn’t want to see his face.

“Tooru, are you okay? I didn’t understand what you said.” He opened his eyes when he registered his worried tone.

“Did you tell her about us?”

Hajime frowned.

“What about us?”

His heart cracked.

Hajime saw him widening his eyes.

“I mean, she obviously knows you’re my best friend, she’s met you-”

“I’m-” He had a knot in his throat. “I’m talking about Argentina”

His voice sounded muffled.

Hajime’s mouth formed a silent “o”.

“Well, it was just a first date. I didn’t think she needed to know all the people I’m banging.”

Tooru’s heart was bleeding. He wanted to cry.

“So, there are more…”

“Well, not right now but…”

“But it could.”

“Tooru…”

He hugged his knees and buried his head there. He didn’t want Hajime to see the tears forming in his eyes.

_See, Tooru? It meant nothing to him._

Realization finally came upon Hajime, who opened his eyes wide.

“Shit. Fuck. Oh, Tooru…”

There it was. The pity. His tears started to fall. He was sobbing. He raised his head to look him in the eye.

“It didn’t mean anything to you, am I right?”

“That’s not true. Tooru, listen to me…”

“You’re just like them. Like Victor, like Matt…”

“I’m not! Tooru, you know it…”

“And the worst thing is I believed you care about me but you just wanted to fuck me, just like them...”

“TOORU!”

“But you’re better. You got it, didn’t you? You got me.”

“Tooru, you’re spiraling, you know I care about you!”

“Have fun with Tessa.”

Tooru closed his laptop, picked up his pillow and screamed.

His heart ached _so bad_.

He couldn’t stop picturing them together. His mind was recreating everything they had done and replacing himself with Tessa.

He needed air. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t stop crying.

His phone kept illuminating the room. He knew it was him.

He brought the pillow to his face again and screamed his lungs out.

_What did you expect? He doesn’t love you. Of course, it didn’t mean anything to him. You were just an easy fuck. His pathetic friend in love with him. Too easy. You mean nothing to him. He used you._

_You mean nothing to him._

_You mean nothing to him._

He lied back there sobbing as his mind kept repeating that mantra.

* * *

**From: Iwa-chan <3**

Please talk to me

Tooru

Let me explain

I’m sorry I didn’t know

I need to talk to you

Please pick up the phone

Please

Tooru

I just wanna know you’re okay

I care about you

You know it

Pick up the phone Tooru

It meant something

How couldn’t it

It was you after all

Please Tooru we have to talk

We promised we’d talked it all out

Please

* * *

_**20th January, 2015** _

Tooru woke up with fourteen missed calls and sixty-three texts from Hajime. He didn’t open them.

He had passed out at some point, between the fourth and fifth scream. He had cried his eyes out and still, when he thought about last night, a few tears fell. 

It hadn’t meant anything to him, those two long days and nights. Nothing. Those kisses, those whispers, those laughs, those touches… He had gone back to his life and started dating. As if nothing had happened. As if he hadn’t looked at him with a fondness that almost tricked Oikawa into thinking he may feel the same.

He stood up and silently began preparing for practice. He looked hideous. His eyes all puffy and red, the trail of his tears visible on the cheeks. He was sure his teammates were going to bomb him with questions and he couldn't care less. He grabbed his bag and left.

When he got to the gym, he muttered a hello to those already there and headed to the locker room. But of course, they had noticed. Blanco approached him, cutting his pace.

“Tooru, what happened?”

“Nothing. Just a fight with Hajime. I’m okay.”

His coach examined him, knowingly. Everybody on the team was aware of the feelings the setter had for his best friend. And everybody also knew they were something more right now.

“Tooru, I can’t let you train in your condition.”

The boy opened his mouth to retort but Blanco cut him.

“Go home. Get some rest. Sleep a little. Come back tomorrow, okay?”

Tooru let out an exasperated sigh, though he knew he was right. He answered with a soft _okay_ and went back home.

When he arrived, he grabbed his phone and found out there were more calls and texts from Hajime. He threw it on the couch and growled. He stood there, in his living room, with the memories of the moments they spent there haunting him.

_Tooru, we’ve seen that movie like forty-seven times._

_Then let’s make it forty-eight!_

_My movie is better!_

_It’s just Godzilla with another name, Iwa-chan!_

_Precisely!_

_Okay, okay, I race you to the bedroom. The first one to get there chooses!_

_Hey! Not fair Shittykawa! You were sitting on me! You had advantage! Come back here!_

His gaze followed the pace of the ghosts on his mind to his bedroom. They had forgotten the movie when they got there.

He began crying again. 

He moved slowly to the couch and sank in it, grabbing a cushion to hush his sobbing, until he fell asleep.

When he woke up, it was almost night time. He felt something buzzing under his back and arched himself a bit so he could take it. He grabbed his phone and stared at the screen. It was Diego, the wing spiker. He frowned and picked it up.

“Hello?”

“Hey Toru, how are you?”

Tooru frowned even more. Blanco for sure would have told them.

“Terrible. You?”

“Good, good… Listen, coach told us what happened and I knew you wouldn’t want to talk about it but… Well… Iwa-chan just texted me…”

“Don’t.”

“He's worried sick, Toru…”

“I don’t care.”

“...I think you do…”

“He only wants his new fucktoy back, Diego!”

His throat burnt when he screamed the last sentence. He should really try not to talk much the next couple days. He sighed. His teammate wasn’t at fault.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry Diego… I just…”

“Hey. Don’t worry. I’ll handle him. Get some rest.”

He felt his eyes watering again.

“Thank you; thank you…”

“My pleasure. Take care, Toru.” And he hung up.

Tooru hugged his knees and let the tears fall.

The next morning, he went to the gym again. He spoke up before Blanco could protest and order him to go.

“If I had to go back home and stared into the ceiling thinking about how much of Iwa-chan there’s there, I’m gonna go mad. _Please_ , let me practice.”

He saw the burning pain in his eyes.

“Okay. But you’re not staying after practice, understood?”

Tooru nodded and walked to the locker room.

* * *

_**30th January, 2015** _

And so, time passed.

Tooru was walking back home after practice, thinking about baking alfajores to keep his mind distracted. He was looking for his keys in his backpack when Lucia opened her door.

“Toru, sweetheart, how are you? Do you want to come over?”

He sighed and opened his door. He loved talking to her but lately he wasn’t in the mood for socializing.

“Lucia, I’m sorry, I’m not in the mood…”

“I have a package for you.”

Tooru turned his head and looked at her with a questioning face. She was holding a big box, walking to him.

“It’s from the USA! It’s Iwa-chan’s, isn’t it?”

It caught him completely by surprise and he couldn’t make a sound as she placed the box on his extended arms and came back to her flat.

He stood there a couple minutes more, still processing what had happened. He finally entered his apartment, closing the door with his foot. He put the package on the coffee table and sat down on the couch. He stared at it without knowing what to do.

_Maybe he’s sending you every single thing that you gifted him, like that keychain with ET. He never liked it, now he doesn’t have to pretend._

His eyes filled with tears. All their years of friendship, in a box. As he started crying again, he ripped it open with all his contained fury.

The tears stopped when he looked inside.

An UCI hoodie, an alien plushie and a letter.

He examined every object separately.

The jacket looked like the one Iwa-chan owned, a plain grey one, with the letters UCI printed on the front. It also looked used.

_Could it be…_

He brought it to his nose and sniffed. It was very light, probably because it had been in a box for two weeks but there it was. He hadn’t sent him a new one, he sent him _his_. He sniffed it one more time and placed it beside him on the couch.

Then, he took the plushie. He hadn’t seen it before moving so he must have bought it in California, and he could see clearly why he thought of him. It was the typical green alien, but he had one hand up making a V sign, and he was winking with his tongue out. He giggled. It was like him in alien shape.

Lastly, he grabbed the letter. He couldn’t help it. His smile grew bigger and he cried, from happiness this time. There were three single words on the envelope.

_For my Tooru_

He quickly opened it, chuckling as his tears fell again.

_Tooru,_

_I’ve never been good with my words, so please forgive me beforehand._

_There’s so much I need to tell you…_

_Let me start with this: Tessa means nothing to me. Nothing. We had dinner and that’s it._

_I’m sorry, Tooru. I’ve hurt you real bad, haven’t I?_

_I messed up; I know. I said things I didn’t mean and I hope one day you could forgive me, for not realizing it earlier…_

_That’s my favorite hoodie. I know how much you like wearing them, and you always look so damn much better in them than I do. Some part of me I’ve recently accepted had always hoped you thought of me hugging you when you wore them. I know right now there are like 30ºC down there and you’re not gonna wear it but still, I really wanted you to have it._

_And the alien, well, that’s Shittykawa. I’ve had him since last year, bought it on a trip to San Diego with the gang. I saw it on the storefront and couldn’t help it. I planned to send it to you for your birthday or something but one day we had a stupid fight and I couldn’t sleep and I didn’t know why but I grabbed it and then I finally slept. We made up the next morning. I’ve been sleeping with it since. I never told you._

_I talked to Susan and Carol. They were in our shared living room and heard me screaming your name. I cried and told them everything. They’ve helped me figure some things out. I didn’t know what I’d have done without them..._

_I’ve also called Makki and Mattsun. Makki insulted me for half an hour when I told them what I did. Mattsun asked me how I could be that blind and oblivious._

_They also said you’ve been ignoring them, so please call them. I’m the one you’re mad at._

_Yesterday, I walked by an alley and wanted to kiss you. I don’t even know if I have the right to tell you this. But If you had been here, I would have kissed you._

_What we did, Tooru, it meant the world to me. YOU mean the world to me. I’m just so sorry it took me all this time to realize it._

_I’m so stupid. You were right all those times you said I didn’t have a brain. You’ve always been the smart one. And the funny one. And the handsome one._

_You’re perfect._

_Tooru, I’m scared._

_Please, talk to me again._

_I need to see your smile, your pout, your big brown eyes and your fucking soft hair. I need to hear your laugh. I need to hear you calling me Iwa-chan._

_I need you._

_I miss you so much._

_Yours, always._

_Asshole number three._

_PS: hopefully, the last one you’ll meet._

* * *

Ten thousand kilometers away, Hajime flinched when his phone pinged. He had been on alert since their fight. He closed his eyes and breathed, trying to calm himself down before checking the message. When he saw what his screen showed him, his heart beat faster and he smiled.

**From: My Tooru**

thanks for the hug, iwa-chan <3

[Imageattached.jpg]

There he was. His knees touching his chest with his head resting on them and wearing his hoodie. One hand holding his phone and the other the alien. But what made Hajime's heart skip a beat was his face. He was blushing and flashing him a shy smile. His eyes were red, and he could see some tears on his cheeks. He really wanted to open up a portal, appear in his room and kiss him senseless.

But he wasn’t naive. Knowing him, he had a long way to go to fix things, but it was a start.

_I’m not letting you go, Tooru. I’ll tell you when we meet again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, Susan and Carol are together  
> yes, is a reference to friends
> 
> hope you like it!


	3. I messed up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Come on guys, this is finished. You have to go”  
> “Uuuuuuh, someone’s got a date?” Peter teased him.  
> “Don’t be ridiculous…” Hajime snorted.  
> “Exactly, Pete. It’s not a date, it’s just a video call with Tooru” Carol sing-songed.
> 
> or: Iwa's POV
> 
> cw: short scene with nsfw

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is waaaaaaaaay longer than i expected but i hope you like it!

_**7th January, 2015** _

After two long days of travel, Hajime got to his apartment. He dropped his luggage next to the door and launched himself to his bed without bothering removing his shoes. He took his phone from his pocket and sent a quick text.

**To: Tooru**

Finally home.

Next time, you come up here.

He didn’t wait for an answer. The guy would probably be at practice, or sleeping… What time was it, again?

He heard a soft knocking on his door and reluctantly opened his eyes.

“Hey Hajime, just wanted to say hi. Carol’s sleeping over, she’ll wake you up tomorrow for class, okay? And text Tooru, remember what happened last time.”

He smiled and slightly waved at his roommate.

“Thanks, Susan. Already did. You’re an angel, good night.”

She closed the door and he finally dozed off.

* * *

_**8th January, 2015** _

Next morning, he walked to class with Carol who told him he had slept over sixteen hours.

_Seriously Hajime, you should really learn to sleep on planes, especially with a long-distance boyfriend._

_He’s not my boyfriend._

_He will._

He had rolled his eyes and changed the topic, but he had to fight a lot to avoid turning red like a tomato.

Since he came back from Argentina, he couldn’t stop thinking of Tooru. Well, that also happened before but this time it was different. He felt he didn’t have to control the smile that ran to his face every time he sent him a selfie, or a good morning/night text four hours ahead. He felt lighter somehow. They didn’t talk properly before he left, too busy spending that last weekend lost in each other’s arms. He didn’t know if they were friends with benefits or it had been just a one-time thing that they’d never talk about again, though he doubted it was the latest.

The intimacies they had shared, the looks, the touches, the sighs they ripped from each other’s throats… There was more into it.

Part of him was telling him it was normal. In the end, he was his best friend. He’d known him since birth. They had all the trust in the world and with no one else Hajime felt he could be himself completely. It made sense he couldn’t get him out of his head. It made sense that when Tooru had looked at him, strangling his lap and about to cum, the only thought that crossed his mind was: I’m home.

Another part of him was scared shitless. He hadn’t told anyone, but when he was fifteen, he had loved Oikawa Tooru. It happened naturally, he couldn’t exactly pinpoint the moment he realized what he felt went beyond friendship, but it was around the time Tooru had his first girlfriend and his insides burnt with the nasty feeling of jealousy. He suffered the unspeakable, watching him go from girl to girl, knowing he’d never notice him. When they turned seventeen, Hajime vowed to himself to stop loving him, to stop the pain. And he did. He even had a girlfriend for a few months. When after graduation Tooru came out to him, there were only friendly feelings in his heart. Or so he thought.

Friendly feelings, but he had felt relieved when he told him he was gay.

Friendly feelings, but the first few months of Tooru in Argentina he had spent his afternoons practicing Spanish with him.

Friendly feelings, but he had broken Victor’s nose when he called Tooru a cockteaser.

Friendly feelings, but if he’d been in San Juan, he’d have done something worse to Matt when he’d tried to force him.

Friendly feelings, but he had kissed him after Hugo’s wedding at the first opportunity.

Friendly feelings, but they had made love barely a week ago.

_Fuck. You can't think like that. He's just your friend. Just. Your. Friend. It was just sex. It meant nothing… Shit, who are you trying to fool, Hajime? Of course, it meant something. It’s Tooru. He’ll always be something more, and you know it._

He sighed deeply and dropped himself in the empty chair next to Peter, with Carol behind him.

“ _How_ are you tired? Carol told me you’ve been sleeping since yesterday morning.”

“He’s not tired, he’s just thinking about how much he misses his boyfriend.”

“He’s _not_ my boyfriend.”

“Right! You’ve spent Christmas with Tooru! How is he? As handsome as always?”

“Even more, he’s tanned and his arms are bigger and- Shit, I hate you.” Hajime sank his face on his desk while his “friends” laughed at him. “I need new friends.”

The professor entered the classroom at that moment and ordered them to shut up and pay attention, which Hajime deeply appreciated.

* * *

_**11th January, 2015** _

It’s been a week since he left San Juan and Hajime was worried. Every time they’d called each other, his heart had beaten faster and he was beginning to think that _maybe_ he was falling again.

_You have to stop this, Hajime, or you’re gonna suffer. You know how this ends._

He sighed and buttoned his shirt. He’d been invited to a house party and though he didn’t feel like going, Peter had insisted and he finally had caved.

_This is good. It’ll clear your mind from Tooru._

They arrived and had immediately run into a familiar face.

“Hajime! Pete!”

“Hey, Tess! Long time no see! How’re you?

He had met her his first year at uni and hung out several times after that, but since she didn’t study the same, they lost contact eventually.

“Great! And you guys? Hajime, you’re as serious as always!”

The aforementioned blinked and blushed from shame. He had been staring.

“Sorry, got lost in thought.”

“It’s okay, wanna grab a drink with me?”

He hesitated until he felt Peter’s elbow in his ribs.

“Hey!”

“The lady asked you a question.”

“I know! Did you have to hit me?!”

“Yes! It’s rude not to answer!”

“It’s okay, Pete. He clearly doesn’t want…”

“No!” Hajime gulped. “I want, I want…”

She smiled and grabbed his hand.

“Let’s go, then.”

He said goodbye to Peter and followed her to the kitchen. He couldn’t stop thinking how wrong her hand felt in his. Too smooth. Too little. Not Tooru’s.

_Shit. Stop. Tooru isn’t here. Tessa is. She’s a beautiful girl and she wants to drink with you so just follow her and have fun. And stop thinking of him._

That was easier thought than done. Everything reminded him of the first night they had slept together. The music, the bodies bumping into him, the smell of sweat and alcohol… 

He drank from the beer Tessa offered him and smiled at her. They talked a bit while finishing their bottles and then she dragged him to the improvised dancing space in the living room.

There, everything got worse.

He knew Tessa was dancing in front of him. _He knew_ , but he could only see Tooru. It was almost as if his need had invoked him. He saw him swinging his hips, just like that night, and he bit his lips when his eyes met his. The same hunger as last week. He remembered in a flash everything that happened after that look. The way their bodies had pressed against each other, fitting perfectly, the alley, the race to his house…

He couldn’t help it and reached his hand to grab his, but it was Tessa’s he found. 

The spell was broken.

She smiled at him and stepped closer.

“Took you long enough.”

She crossed her arms behind his nape and moved against him. He immediately put his hands on her waist to keep her away.

“I’m- I’m sorry. I think I’m gonna go. Long week, I’m a bit tired…”

Her smile didn’t fade a bit as she stepped back.

“Okay, Hajime. Do you wanna have dinner next Saturday?”

_Accept. You need to forget about him. You can't go down that path again. It’s just a date. Just dinner. Two hours top. You need this._

“I’d love to.” He smiled back, and proceeded to leave the party.

He waved goodbye to Peter from afar and went out to the street, where he pulled out his phone.

**From: Tooru**

i’m going to bed iwa-chan!

have fun, be safe

good night <3

The text was from two hours ago. Tooru for sure would be deep asleep by now and he didn’t wanna risk awakening him so Hajime put his phone in his pocket and walked home with the biggest smile on his face.

* * *

_**12th January, 2015** _

He spent the next day at home studying. First week of college after winter break and he already had to write three essays. He let out a deep sigh after finishing the draft of the first one and decided he needed a break. He laid down on his bed and opened his phone gallery looking for Tooru’s folder. He shut down the voice inside his head that told him it was a bad idea. He needed him.

He chuckled with the first picture. It was a selfie from a couple years back and Tooru still looked the same. He was in his flat in San Juan, holding a Japanese-Spanish dictionary and with an exaggerated help-me-please face. Hajime looked for the most recent ones, those he had taken on his last visit. He bit his lower lip when he found the last one. Tooru was lying face down naked; his head resting on his crossed arms and looking at him grinning. Hajime’s eyes roamed the curve of his back until his phone buzzed with a new text.

**From: Tooru**

hey iwa-chan~

you should be studying

Hajime frowned. How did he know?

**To: Tooru**

How do you know I’m taking a break?

**From: Tooru**

oh i didn’t thanks for confirming though ;)

now give me your honest opinion on these jeans

[imageattached.jpg]

Hajime’s mouth went dry. Tooru was standing shirtless and backwards in front of his mirror. His perfect ass wrapped tightly in those pants. If his conscience was on it would have prevented him from sending his next text.

**To: Tooru**

I wish I could take them off and fuck you.

Hajime couldn’t say he regretted saying that, but when Tooru didn’t answer in two minutes he began to worry.

**From: Tooru**

iwa-chan

what was that

are u flirting with me?

He couldn’t tell if he was mad or curious or whatever, so he decided the truth was the best option.

**To: Tooru**

I’ve literally told you I wished I could take off those jeans you’re wearing and fuck you.

I think that’s more than flirting.

He bit his lip. Maybe he had overstepped… 

**From: Tooru**

just wanted some confirmation

how exactly would you fuck me, hajime?

His eyes widened and his heart skipped a bit.

_Okay, so we’re doing this._

**To: Tooru**

On your fours.

I wanna see my cock breaking into you.

**From: Tooru**

fuck hajime

tell me more

[imageattached.jpg]

Hajime whined, Tooru was lying on his bed naked, his boxers wrapped around one ankle and his hand grabbing his dick.

He began palming himself over his pyjamas.

**To: Tooru**

I thought I told you I wanted you on your fours.

**From: Tooru**

[imageattached.jpg]

**To: Tooru**

Much better.

**From: Tooru**

are you touching yourself iwa-chan?

**To: Tooru**

Not yet.

You’ll have to work harder for that.

**_Incoming call from Tooru_ **

Hajime smirked and answered.

“Hey”

“Hey”

Tooru was gasping and Hajime decided it was time to undress.

“Put me on speaker, you can use both hands that way.”

Tooru laughed and Hajime began stroking himself.

"Do you plan on ordering me, Hajime?"

“Yes. How many fingers are you using?”

“Just… just one.”

Hajime let out a low groan.

“That’s not enough, you think one finger is the same as my cock?”

“N-no…”

“Add another.”

“Fuck yes.”

Hajime heard the clap of the bottle of lube being opened and then closed, and waited for Tooru.

“They’re in…”

“Good. Touch yourself at the same time."

"That's a bit difficult, Haj-"

"I don't care. Drop your head on the pillow and put your ass up. Keep the phone close to your mouth, I wanna hear you."

He was pumping his cock at a fast pace. He didn’t want to last; he just wanted the relief.

"Now… now what, Hajime?"

His voice sounded rough and a bit muffled.

“Fuck yourself harder. Move faster. I don’t wanna be gentle with you now.”

Honestly, Hajime didn’t know where all that was coming from but Tooru’s moans were filling his ear and he lost his mind.

“You like it, don't you? You like how I order you around.”

“ _Hajime_.”

"You need me, Tooru. Say it. Say you need my dick up your ass."

"I-I need you, Hajime. Please fuck me. Please fill me with your cock. Please, please…I'm..."

“God Tooru, so good begging for my cock. I’d fuck you so hard you wouldn’t be able to walk tomorrow.”

The high-pitched moan he let out went straight to his cock.

“Just like when I bent you over the table, did you like it?”

“ _Yes_ “ Tooru cried out.

“You came all over the floor, Tooru. Almost untouched.”

“Hajime, I’m…”

“Are you gonna cum for me, Tooru?”

A whine was his answer.

“Say my name. Say my name as you cum, _Tooru_.”

“Ha-Haji… Hajime… _Hajime_ … _Hajime_ …”

He couldn’t help it. The way Tooru screamed his name triggered his own orgasm and he came all over his hand and chest. They both stayed there for a while, panting.

“I- I gotta go, Iwa-chan…”

“Yeah, me too. Gotta clean this mess…”

Tooru’s laughter filled his ears and warmth spread through his chest.

“Bye, Tooru.”

“Bye, Iwa-chan.”

Needless to say, he couldn’t study anymore.

The next day, Tooru wished him good morning as usual and they never talked about it.

* * *

_**18th January, 2015** _

“Come on guys, this is finished. You have to go”

“Uuuuuuh, someone’s got a date?” Peter teased him.

“Don’t be ridiculous…” Hajime snorted.

“Exactly, Pete. It’s not a date, _it’s just a video call with Tooru_ ” Carol sing-songed.

“But my dearest Carol, that’s what I was insinuating.”

“How… How do you know that?”

He blushed and both his friends burst out laughing.

“My God, you got it bad”

“I think sometimes you forget I’m dating your roommate, Hajime.”

The boy took a deep breath and rubbed his temple. He couldn’t believe he had somehow become friends with the USA versions of Makki and Mattsun. He sighed, resigned.

“Okay, I have a video call with Tooru in a couple hours, and I need to study a bit before -something you should also do- and get ready, happy now?”

His friends looked at each other and raised an eyebrow before staring back at him with a teasing smile.

“Oh, so you need a couple hours to _get ready_ for Tooru, what do you think they’re gonna do, Carol?”

“That’s not what I said…”

“Bet they’re gonna stare at each other with heart eyes for ten minutes before saying anything.”

“Bet they’re gonna be like _oh I miss you, no I miss you more Iwa-chan_ and then our boy here’s gonna melt…”

“You should go…”

“He’s right Pete, we should go, I definitely don’t wanna be here when they start with the dirty talking like last week”

“WHAT… How… We don’t…” Hajime’s brain was becoming pudding and he could only babble incoherent words.

“Remember” she pointed at herself. “Dating your roommate. Poor Susan was traumatized with the things you told our little Tooru to do.”

“But…”

“No, you weren't speaking Japanese.”

“I… We…”

“Your walls are really thin.”

Hajime’s face was redder than a tomato and he couldn’t form any words. He just stood there while his friends laughed and collected their books and notes. He considered if he should change friends as he checked his phone. His eyes opened in shock.

**_Three missed calls from: Tessa_ **

_Fuck. Fuuuuck. Hajime, did you seriously forget?_

“Hey…”

Peter had opened the door. Tessa was standing on the other side, with his hand reaching for the doorbell.

“Tessa! What are you doing here?”

“Well, I had a date with Hajime…” The boy was still standing there without moving a muscle. “...but it looks like he forgot.”

Carol and Peter looked at him with a question-mark look on their faces.

“It’s okay, we can leave it for another time, if you still want…”

“No! Yes!” Hajime blinked a couple times. “I mean, I just need five minutes to get ready. Come in.” He looked at his friends. “So, bye. I’ll text you tomorrow when I go to the library.”

“Good bye.” Carol looked at him with worried eyes. “Have fun.”

“We will! Bye guys!” Tessa waved cheerly at them while he closed the door. Then, he turned to her, his mind looking for an excuse.

“I’m so sorry, Tessa… University’s been a lot lately.”

She smiled and put her hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t worry. I’ll grab a glass of water while I wait.”

And with that, she disappeared into the kitchen and Hajime ran to his bedroom to have a mental breakdown.

_Shit, Hajime. You agreed to this so you could stop thinking about Tooru and instead you forgot about Tessa TO HAVE A DATE WITH TOORU. You’re fucked. You need to fix this. Just… freshen up a bit and walk out there, grab her hand and focus on her. Talk to her. Ask for her hobbies and all that shit. And then, have a normal call with Tooru. No flirting. Definitely no jerking off. Just two best friends hanging out. You can even tell him about the date and tease him for being single. Yeah, that’d get things back to normal._

He went to his bathroom and splashed his face with cold water.

_You got this, Hajime._

He went back to the living room where Tessa was sitting on the couch. She smiled at him and blushed a bit. Hajime felt nothing but guilt.

“Shall we go?”

She nodded and stood up. He grabbed his keys while she opened the door and stepped into the hall.

“I made a reservation at the restaurant on the corner.”

“The Italian one? I’ve always wanted to go. I almost did when Tooru visited, but in the end, we decided to stay home and order Chinese.” Tessa laughed.

“Why not Japanese?”

“Ugh, no, no way. Those things you guys eat aren’t Japanese dishes. I’m sorry, but it’s the truth. Though Tooru eats them anyway. But he’s always been like that, he can eat everything. It’s like he doesn’t have taste buds or something. One time, we were at my house, and my mother’s a great cook but that day she was making a new recipe so she ended up burning the stew and he ate his whole plate without a complaint. He swore and swore it was delicious and repeated and then spent the whole night puking on my bathroom…”

_Great, Hajime, childhood stories. You’re doing great._

* * *

The rest of the date went like that. Anything Tessa said or did, Hajime’s mind connected it to Tooru.

_“I think I’ll order raviolis with pesto.”_

_“Tooru ate that yesterday!”_

_“You can have all the olives from the salad, I don’t like them.”_

_“Really? Neither does Tooru.”_

_“The other day I discovered this show and found it hilarious. Brooklyn 99, have you heard of it?”_

_“OMG yes! Tooru and I watched it when I went to Argentina. He said I’m like Terry and I don’t think he’s wrong…”_

They said goodbye in front of the restaurant.

“Thanks, Tessa. I had a great time.”

“Yeah… Same here.”

Hajime smiled and began his walk to his apartment. 

_That went well, Hajime. You did it. You went on a date. You don’t like Tooru, everything’s fine. Now go home and brag about Tessa._

He grabbed his phone while humming the song that was playing at the restaurant. He had taken just a couple steps when he stopped.

“Shit.”

It was late. Tooru must have been waiting for half an hour now. Hajime sighed and ran his hand over his face. He thought he had time but the place was crowded and it had taken more than usual to get served. He didn’t have a message from Tooru wishing him good night so that dumbass was surely still awake.

**To: Tooru**

Sorry, can’t make it today, but tomorrow at the same time?

His fingers fidgeted over the keyboard before adding:

**To: Tooru**

I have news.

He grinned. That would probably nag Tooru all day tomorrow.

**From: Tooru**

sure iwa-chan! can’t wait to hear them

night night <3

**To: Tooru**

Good night, Tooru.

* * *

_**19th January, 2015** _

Hajime was nervous and he mentally kicked himself for that.

_It’s just Tooru. Oikawa. Shittykawa. Your best friend. You don’t like him. You went on a date yesterday. You liked it. She’s funny. She’s interesting. You’re gonna ask him about his life and then brag about her. And everything would go back to normal._

Hajime didn’t know how many times he had repeated that speech in front of the mirror, trying to convince himself.

He sat crossed-leg on his bed waiting for the call. Tooru’s face appeared on the screen and he became jelly. He grabbed his earphones while the other spoke.

“Hey there, Iwa-chan!”

“Good night, Tooru.”

His heart began beating faster. He tried to smile a bit to calm himself and prevent Tooru from noticing his nerves, but he could see those brown eyes examining his face meticulously.

“You okay? Anything you want to talk about?”

Hajime hesitated and finally opted to stick to his plan: Let Tooru speak first.

“It’s alright, it can wait. Tell me about your week. You said Lucia was teaching you how to bake alfajores?”

He smiled at him, trying to encourage him to speak. Tooru shook his head a bit and his mouth formed a cheerful smile.

“Yeah! Last Wednesday I went over there after practice…”

Hajime tried to pay attention to what Tooru was telling him, but he got lost in the sound of his voice. He stared at him, watching him gesticulate exaggeratedly. The knot on his stomach became heavier and his palms sweatier.

“... aaaand that’s all Iwa-chan! I think I’ve told you literally everything that happened to me this last week.”

Hajime panicked.

_Nonononono we’re not ready, make him talk a bit more._

“Why don’t you tell me about that drama you were watching? Is it interesting?”

_Great._

“Hajime, what’s wrong? I know you can’t resist the sweet sound of my voice but you’re awfully quiet and I know you, there’s something on your mind. Come on, we promised to tell each other everything.”

He was smiling at him and Hajime wanted to head bump his eighteen-year-old self for making that fucking promise. He took a deep breath and smiled back at him.

“I was on a date, yesterday.”

Hajime saw Tooru’s smile crook a bit.

“What?”

_Okay, apologize for ditching him._

“Yeah, sorry. I know it’s shitty that I didn’t tell you earlier, I’m sure you were waiting when you should have gone to bed instead. I’m sorry, I was having dinner with her and got distracted.”

“Her?”

Hajime blinked in surprise. He thought Tooru would be mad because he abandoned him but not that he’d cling to that little detail. He knew he was bi after all.

“Well, yeah. Actually, you know her. Remember Tessa? She came with us to the beach when you visited.”

It’s been almost two years since that but he knew his friend would never forget a face and name.

“I remember her.”

Tooru wasn’t smiling anymore, his mouth forming a thin line.

_Okay, now… brag?_

“Well, her. Last Saturday we all went to a party. I told you about it, remember? And we were talking all night, and she’s really nice, and when we were leaving, she asked me to go out with her yesterday and I said yes.”

“Why… Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I’m sorry. I honestly forgot I had to meet her until she called me ‘cause I was late. University’s been killing me lately.”

Hajime couldn’t read Tooru’s mind and it was killing him. The boy was staring at him, his breath becoming heavier and heavier. He decided the best was to keep talking.

“Anyways, I’m really sorry. We went to that Italian restaurant right outside campus -I have to take you there next time you visit by the way- and we talked and we never ran out of topics...”

Now that Hajime thought about it, the only thing he had talked about had been Tooru.

_Shit._

“...she’s really interesting, and funny…”

_Stop lying to yourself, Hajime._

“...she told me this joke and, oh my God Tooru, I couldn’t breathe, I almost died of laughter…”

“But… Did she know… Did you…”

Tooru’s breath was faltering and Hajime began worrying.

“Are you okay?

“didutelharbouts?”

He had his eyes deep closed.

_Hajime, I have a feeling you’re screwing things up._

“Tooru, are you okay? I didn’t understand what you said.”

“Did you tell her about us?”

Hajime frowned. The engines of his brain were working at super speed to deliver the right answer.

_Fuck. Now what? What does he mean?_

“What about us?”

Tooru’s eyes widened and he knew he had fucked up.

_Shit, Hajime. Fix this._

“I mean, she obviously knows you’re my best friend, she’s met you-”

“I’m- I’m talking about Argentina.”

_Oh._

Hajime was sure his head was fuming.

_Okay, breathe, relax, watch out what you’re gonna say. He can’t know you like him. What you did in Argentina meant nothing. Just some fun with your best friend. It could have been anyone else… right? Downplay what you did._

“Well, it was just a first date. I didn’t think she needed to know all the people I’m banging.”

_What the hell Hajime, that sounded terrible._

He saw the pain in Tooru’s eyes, some tears clustering in the corners.

“So, there are more…”

_No, of course not!_

“Well, not right now but…”

“But it could.”

“Tooru…”

As the first tears fell from Tooru’s eyes, too quickly for the boy to hide his face on time, Hajime was hit with the sudden realization that he had just hurt him badly.

_Hajime what did you just do?! Tooru is crying! You’ve made him cry! You’re an asshole! He likes you and you’re here bra- wait what._

His eyes widened.

_It’s the only explanation, right? No, it can’t be. He doesn’t like you. You’re just his best friend. That weekend meant nothing to him, right? RIGHT?!_

Hajime was panicking. Tooru couldn’t like him. He wasn’t even his type. He was just his best friend.

But the truth had been right there all this time. In the way he had held his hand walking down San Juan streets, the way he had looked at him in the airport, the way he was sobbing now in front of him.

“Shit. Fuck. Oh, Tooru…”

_Wait Hajime, wrong tone. That sounded like you pity him, what’s wrong with you today?!_

He raised his head and their eyes met.

“It didn’t mean anything to you, am I right?”

Hajime’s eyes watered.

“That’s not true. Tooru, listen to me…”

“You’re just like them. Like Victor, like Matt…”

_Nonononono_

“I’m not! Tooru, you know it…”

“And the worst thing is I believed you care about me but you just wanted to fuck me, just like them…”

“TOORU!”

_Hajime, stop him!_

“But you’re better. You got it, didn’t you? You got me.”

“Tooru, you’re spiraling, you know I care about you!”

“Have fun with Tessa.”

Tooru closed his laptop and Hajime stayed there on his bed in shock.

_Shit. Shit shit shit. He likes you, doesn’t he? Fuck Hajime this is bad. You should tell him but he’s not gonna believe you. He hates you right now. God you’ve messed up real bad._

“TOORU!”

_He can’t hear you, asshole. He’s probably too busy crying because of your fucking stupid not-connected-to-the-brain mouth. Fuck. God, how can you be so dense..._

Hajime couldn’t breathe. His eyes fixed on the black screen. He didn’t even notice when he had started crying. A loud sound startled him. Suddenly, Susan was hugging him and Carol looked at him from the end of his bed.

“Hajime, what’s happening?”

“We heard you screaming Tooru’s name, is he okay?”

He couldn’t process anything. He got rid of the hug and jumped from the bed.

“I have to go.”

He grabbed his suitcase, opened it and started throwing clothes in it until Susan grabbed his wrist.

“Hajime, go where?”

He looked at her, still crying.

“Argentina. San Juan. Tooru.”

“But what happened?”

“Hajime, you’re scaring us, is he okay?”

“NO!”

He shook his arm and broke the contact.

“I-I’ve hurt him. I think… I think he likes me…”

Susan ran her hand through his back, trying to calm him down.

“It’s okay, it’s okay, Hajime… everything’s gonna be fine.”

“Come on, let’s go to the living room. I’ll make some tea and then you can explain to us what happened.”

Hajime nodded, his breathing soothing. He let himself be guided and sat down on the couch, staring at their black coffee table. Susan sat at his right and after a few more minutes, Carol joined them with three cups of tea.

“Now, Hajime, please talk to us…”

“I don’t like him... I don’t... I can’t…”

His breath became faltering and his hands were trembling uncontrollably. Carol took them into hers.

“Hajime, breathe with me. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale…”

He mimicked her actions. After a while, he felt like he could speak again. He nodded slightly to let them now and Carol squeezed his hand before letting go.

“Better now?”

Hajime still felt like shit and the knot in his stomach hadn’t gone away but he was better. Slightly.

“Yeah, I’m okay.”

Susan looked at her girlfriend with concern. They had a quick mental conversation.

_Who should be the one asking?_

_You go Susan, you’re his roommate, he trusts you more_

“So… what happened? Is Tooru safe?”

“Yeah, he’s safe but… I’ve hurt him.”

He stopped talking and Carol sighed.

“Care to elaborate?”

He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and began telling them everything.

He told them about the wedding. How Tooru had _finally_ broken up with Matt the weekend before and how Hajime had jumped on the first plane to San Juan with the most stupid excuse ( _it’s already paid Tooru, and Hugo has told me I can go and convince his soon-to-be husband that Godzilla is the best movie ever made)_. How his heart had stopped when he saw him wearing a suit and how he couldn’t take his eyes off him for the whole day. How, later, sitting on his couch, a drunk Tooru had begun crying on his shoulder and screaming that all men were assholes and how a drunk Hajime had whispered those fatal words.

_I’m not an asshole…_

_No, you’re not…_

How they had kissed right there and then, lips tasting like alcohol, over and over again, until they had fallen asleep. How he had woken up with Tooru cuddled up in his arms. How he had pecked him before taking the cab to the airport.

He told them how Tooru convinced him to spend the Holidays with him because _Christmas in Argentina is so cool Iwa-chan, you can go to the beach! And I know San Juan doesn’t have one but if it did you could!_ How he had picked him up and how they had held hands everywhere they went. How they’d had dinner together and exchanged presents in the intimacy of his small flat, the two of them alone. How they had waited for the new year on his couch, with his legs over Tooru’s and his head on his shoulder, their fingers playing together and in complete comfortable silence, watching the fireworks through the window. How three days later they had gone to a club and how they had slept together.

How he had come back to Irvine and tried to throw away all his feelings by going out with Tessa. How he had realized his best friend’s feelings a little bit too late. How he had just hurt Tooru and how badly he was crying when he hung up.

When he finished, he realized tears were falling from his eyes again.

The three of them stayed there in silence. It was Susan who broke the calmness.

“Well, it was just a matter of time with you two.”

“What do you mean?”

“We’ve been living together for almost two years, Hajime, I’ve noticed how your face lights up when he texts you. And I’m sure this wasn’t just you. Every time you video call here in the living room, I see how he looks at you. So, you can lie to yourself all you want, but I don’t think this is new.”

“Guess I never stopped loving him…” Hajime muttered almost to himself. He raised his head and saw the question in their eyes. “I fell in love with him in middle school, but I thought he was straight back then so…” He shrugged. “He could never love me like I wanted. I tried so hard to stop loving him… And I thought I did but I guess I was wrong.”

He took a sip of his now-cold tea while silence fell upon them one more time. This time, it was Carol who spoke.

“Well, what are you gonna do?”

“I think… I think I’m gonna call Makki and Mattsun.”

“That’s a great idea, Hajime.”

“Yeah, they’ve known you for longer than us. They’d be able to be more useful.”

“Don’t… Don’t say that.” He started sobbing again. “You’ve helped me a lot. God, I’m such an idiot…”

“Nah, you’re just a man.” Carol retorted. That made him smile.

They finished their tea. He hugged them both tightly and kissed their heads before going back to his room.

**To: Makki**

Hey, do you guys can talk now?

I messed up.

* * *

Hajime was sitting on his bed legs-crossed with the laptop in front of him, biting his nails. The pill he took to stop his growing headache due to all the crying was beginning to take effect and now he was waiting for his friends to call him. It had been a while since the last time he’d seen them -a video call when he was in Argentina- and even longer since they had met. He missed them, but the four hours time difference that separated Tooru and him were nothing in comparison to the sixteen between him and his favorite duo, so they kept in contact mostly through texts and audios.

“Iwaizumiiiiiii” Makki’s face appeared on the screen.

Hajime smiled at his friend. He was nervous. He was about to tell them everything that had happened with Tooru and he knew they were gonna be mad. Susan and Carol had been comprehensive, Makki and Mattsun were going to beat the shit out of him.

“Wait just a minute, Mattsun is grabbing some ice-cream as dessert. What time is it there, anyway? Shouldn’t you be sleeping?”

“It’s almost four a.m. And I couldn’t sleep.”

Makki squinted his eyes.

“What have you done to Oikawa?”

Hajime blinked.

“How do you know this has something to do with him?”

“I just pieced things together. You contacted _us_ saying you messed up, so it’s not something California related but Japan. I can tell your eyes are red so you’ve been crying and it takes a lot to make you cry so you care about this. You can’t sleep ‘cause you’re worried and there’s only one person who has that effect on you. And you're biting your nails so you're guilty.” He stopped it immediately, moving his hand to his lap. “And also, Oikawa texted me he hated you.”

Hajime felt his heart crack.

“He did?”

“Nope, I’m just messing with you.” Makki grinned.

“I hate you.”

Mattsun appeared right in that moment and sat down beside Makki.

“Iwaizumi, care to explain why you hate my boyfriend?”

“I figured out he had done something to Oikawa.”

They chuckled and he sighed, already regretting texting them.

“Well, that wasn’t a difficult guess, but I’m still proud of you.”

“Oh, thanks honey.”

They kissed and Hajime looked away to stop the tears. He wanted that with Tooru. They laughed and Makki opened the ice cream tub.

“So, what have you done?”

“Insult his hairstyle?”

“Say aliens don’t exist?”

“Show him your selfie with Ushiwaka, again?”

Hajime gulped.

“We slept together several times when I was in Argentina and then I had a date with a girl and told him about it and I think I broke his heart.”

They froze. The spoons with the ice cream never reaching their mouths. Mattsun blinked.

“Sorry, what?”

Hajime sighed.

“We-”

“IWAIZUMI HAJIME I’M GONNA KILL YOU.”

Makki had jumped from the sofa and was staring at him with fury in his eyes.

“HOW COULD YOU. ARE YOU SERIOUSLY THIS STUPID.”

“Hiro… Hiro, calm down.” Mattsun was pulling from his wrist.

“WHAT WERE YOU THINKING. YOU KNOW HIM BETTER THAN ALL OF US. YOU KNOW HOW HE IS… YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE. THE FUCKING ASSHOLE NUMBER THREE.”

His eyes filled with tears as he sat down back on the couch.

“How could you… after Matt… how could you USE HIM LIKE THAT?” His tone increased as he finished the sentence.

“I-I…”

Hajime couldn’t hold it anymore and began crying for what felt like the hundredth time that night. It startled his friends a bit. They had only seen him cry the day they lost to Karasuno.

“I didn’t use him, I would never...” He managed to say between sobs. “I love him.” He cried even harder. “I love him… I love him…”

It was the first time he said those words out loud. A truth hidden for six years, finally in the open. He felt lighter, and smiled through the tears.

“I’ve loved him since we were fifteen. Probably even before…”

And then, he told them everything he had already told Susan and Carol and more. He told them how much his heart ached every time Tooru got a confession, how it cracked when he got his first girlfriend, how it broke more and more with the following ones. When he finally got to the present time, Makki was silently crying and Mattsun was staring at him sadly.

“...but I thought he didn’t like me… That it had meant nothing for him…”

“My God, Iwaizumi are you blind? How can you be this stupid?”

He chuckled.

“I don’t know Mattsun, I really don’t know. Tooru’s always been right. I’m all muscle and no brain. I’m a brute.”

“You’re his brute.” Makki grinned.

Hajime’s face got red and he quickly tried to hide it behind his hands. His friends burst out laughing.

“Nice kill! I’ve never seen you blushed, Iwa. You got it bad.” Mattsun teased him.

He sighed, exasperatedly.

“Guys, what am I gonna do? He thinks I’m a jerk, he’s not gonna talk to me...”

“Just give him some time. You’ve hurt him real bad.”

“Yeah, everything’s gonna be fine. You’re Oikawa and Iwaizumi after all, inseparable since birth.”

* * *

_**20th January, 2015** _

It’d been almost twenty hours without news from Tooru.

He had gone to class and paid no attention. Peter tried to cheer him up but Carol signed him to stop and they had left him alone. 

After the first two seminars he decided he was wasting time, picked up his things and left the room without saying goodbye.

He went home and grabbed his gym bag. Maybe if he imagined his own face while hitting the punching bag, he would relieve some tension. But when he arrived at the door, he stopped abruptly.

He never noticed, but there was an alley next to the gym. He stood there lost in thought. He remembered perfectly that night, the look in Tooru’s eyes, his swollen lips… He needed him. He wanted to kiss him.

“Shit.”

He decided to go home and cry again. He buried his face in his pillow and let the tears fall down until he fell asleep.

He woke up after a few hours and checked his phone. Still no news from Tooru.

**To: Mattsun**

Have you heard from him?

**From: Mattsun**

Nope, he’s ignoring texts and calls

Sorry

Hajime needed to know if he was okay. He decided maybe he could ask one of his teammates. Just if Tooru had gone to practice. He needed only that.

**To: Diego CA San Juan**

Hey, it’s been a while, how are you?

I’m sorry to bother you, I don’t know if Tooru told you but he’s mad at me

And with good reason

And he’s not answering my texts

I just want to know if he’s okay

Please

Did he go to practice?

I know maybe you’re angry at me too but, please, I need to know he’s safe

He prayed for Diego to answer him. He was Tooru’s best friend in Argentina, he for sure would know what had happened and he could just hope he’d take pity on him and assure him he was fine.

After an eternity, he’s phone buzzed with a text.

**From: Diego CA San Juan**

Hey! I’m great, thanks for asking

I’d ask you but Toru’s told me everything so I’ll just assume you feel like shit

He’s, well, not okay

But still functional

He’s shown up to practice, but coach sent him home

It looked like he hadn’t sleep

Don’t worry, I just called him, he’s taken a long nap

Hajime felt like the air returned to his lungs.

**To: Diego CA San Juan**

Thanks

Thank you so much Diego

You don’t understand how much I needed that

**From: Diego CA San Juan**

Iwa-chan

You know it, don’t you

He knew perfectly what he meant.

**To: Diego CA San Juan**

I think I do

Now

**From: Diego CA San Juan**

Toru’s right

You’re really dense

Hajime chuckled at that.

**To: Diego CA San Juan**

Yeah, I am

He dropped his phone on the bed and grabbed Shittykawa. He closed his eyes and hugged the plushie as if it was the human it was named after. His mind took him to two weeks ago. He had been in the same position, lying face up, but with Tooru on top of him, his head resting on his chest and one hand over his stomach. They were supposed to be watching a movie but they’d ended up cuddling. Hajime had zero complaints.

_“Iwa-chan, your heart’s beating super fast…”_

_“It’s because of you.”_

_Hajime blushed and Tooru had looked up at him. He had hesitated a bit before moving upwards and pressing a light kiss on his lips._

_“When’s your flight?”_

_“We have to leave in an hour.”_

_“Can I kiss you until then?”_

_“God, yes…”_

How couldn’t he have seen the signs? How could fear have done that to him?

He looked at his hoodie hanging on his open closet and an idea crossed his mind.

He got up, took paper and pen and began writing.

_For my Tooru_

* * *

_**30th January, 2015** _

Hajime flinched when his phone pinged. He had been on alert since their fight. He closed his eyes and breathed, trying to calm himself down before checking the message. When he saw what his screen showed him, his heart beat faster and he smiled.

**From: My Tooru**

thanks for the hug, iwa-chan <3

[Imageattached.jpg]

There he was. His knees touching his chest with his head resting on them and wearing his hoodie. One hand holding his phone and the other the alien. But what made Hajime’s heart skip a beat was his face. He was blushing and flashing him a shy smile. His eyes were red, and he could see some tears on his cheeks. He really wanted to open up a portal, appear in his room and kiss him senseless.

But he wasn’t naive. Knowing him, he had a long way to fix things, but it was a start.

_I’m not letting you go, Tooru. I’ll tell you when we meet again._

* * *

_**24th February, 2015** _

Since Tooru got the package, they had spoken only over text. Hajime had sent him several selfies, Tooru some pictures of the sunset you can see from his window, but nothing more. His only Instagram update: a story of himself caressing the cat that was always on his doorway. He didn’t even speak.

It’d been a month since the last time Hajime heard him. Fuck, it’d been a month since Hajime had saw him. In the story only appeared his hand.

He was getting desperate. He knew Tooru wanted space and time, but he also knew he’d wait for him to take the first step. That’s why that evening he had encouraged himself and called him.

"Iwa-chan?"

"Hey"

Silence. He could hear music and people speaking Spanish in the background. 

_Of course, Hajime, you had to call him on a Saturday evening which is night in Argentina!_

"Sorry… didn’t mean to bother you."

"You don’t bother me, Hajime.”

"I should… I should hang up, sorry."

"Hajime… what did you want to tell me?"

"Nothing… Just wanted to hear your voice."

There was a pause.

"Good night, Iwa-chan."

"Good night." Another pause. "My Tooru".

He went back to study with the complete conviction that he had fucked up even more.

Three hours later, he got a text.

**From: My Tooru**

Skype tomorrow at 6? (Your 6, my 10)

Hajime’s heart skipped a bit.

**To: My Tooru**

YES.

I'll be there.

**From: My Tooru**

my my

so eager Iwa-chan <3

That was the night he had best slept in the whole month.

* * *

_**25th February, 2015** _

It was ten minutes to six and Hajime had spent the last twenty in front of his mirror. He had been mentalizing himself, preparing everything he needed to tell him. And yet, he knew he couldn’t tell him everything. He couldn’t tell him he’d realized he loved him, but he could tell him he had completely forgotten about the date and that it had meant nothing. In his mind there was only room for Tooru.

Tooru and his perfect face.

Tooru and his perfect laugh.

Tooru and his service ace.

Tooru and the way he dances.

Tooru and how he melts below him.

_Shit. Don't think about that, Hajime. Focus. You're seeing him in ten minutes and he'll notice._

He washed his face to clear his mind and went back to his room to dress up, which took him a while. He knew if he overdressed Tooru would tease him restless, so he opted for a white sleeveless shirt and sports pants.

He logged in and waited.

It was six o'clock and Tooru didn't show up.

Ten minutes later, still no Tooru.

Twenty minutes later, Hajime wanted to text him but controlled himself.

Half an hour later, Hajime thought he had ditched him and his heart stopped.

_I deserve this._

He sighed.

_Now what? Should I text him like “hey Tooru, did you forget about me? You busy?” He’d sure answer me “well Iwa-chan you did the same to me” and it’d be the end of our friendship and…_

While his mind kept wandering, on his screen appeared an incoming call from Tooru. Hajime launched himself to the laptop and accepted it. 

But instead of his best friend, appeared a blond that he knew too well.

_"Buenas tardes_ , Iwa-chan!"

"Hey Diego"

Hajime frowned. Diego was grinning, he looked at his side and spoke in Spanish, too quickly for him to catch something up. Right away, another man, shorter than Diego, joined them. Hugo, the man whose wedding had triggered everything.

"Hi Iwa-chan, you must be wondering where's Toru"

"Hugo. Well, yes."

"Don't worry, he's right here." He yelled to his side. "Toru, say hi, we’re talking to Iwa-chan!"

Hajime perceived a muffle scream in his headphones, like if someone had his mouth covered. It sounded a lot like _Iwa-chaaaaaan_.

Both men burst out laughing and turned to look at Hajime again. This time, their smiles were threatening.

"If you ever hurt our Toru again, we'd go to Irvine, chopped you into pieces and sent you back to Japan, got it?"

Hajime gulped.

"G- got it."

"Good."

They kept smiling, showing him all their teeth.

"Can I… May I see Tooru now?" The Argentinians raised an eyebrow. "Please?"

"Better."

They spinned the laptop and Hajime discovered the whole CA San Juan team holding his best friend and covering his mouth. He opened his eyes wide and bit his lip to avoid breaking into laughter. 

Tooru looked at Diego with a visceral anger that Hajime had only seen directed to a certain Shiratorizawa captain. Probably, he was the instigator of all that. He really didn’t want to be in his place in tomorrow’s practice.

Hugo made them a signal and they let him go. A mixture of voices screaming Spanish reached his ears and he could only understand loose sentences and names.

_Salí de mi casa!_

_Toru…. Iwa-chan…._

_Hasta mañana Toru!_

Finally, all in chorus:

_Buenas noches, Iwa-chan!_

Hajime couldn’t see what was happening but he heard the door closing and then, steps approaching. His heart began beating faster. The image on the screen moved and he guessed Tooru took his computer to speak somewhere else. Finally, it stayed still showing him the sofa. After a few minutes, Tooru sat down and looked at him. His features had relaxed and there was no rage in his eyes, just the same familiar fondness and a bit of worry. 

"Sorry about that"

"So… I take that as they hate me"

Tooru smiled and rolled his eyes.

"Nah, they don't. They're just a bunch of over protective jerks"

They laughed together and Hajime’s heart stopped. They stayed there without saying anything, simply looking at each other. It’d been a month since he had seen his face but he remembered it perfectly. He always will. Tooru looked exactly the same but…

"You cut your hair."

Tooru blushed a bit and ran a hand through his hair.

"Ah, yes. Two… two weeks ago."

Hajime felt a sting in his heart. Two weeks. Usually, he’d sent him a picture right when he exited the hairdressing and asked his opinion.

It was another reality slap. Another sample of how his relationship had cooled.

"You… You look good."

Tooru smiled at him.

"Thanks, Iwa-chan"

And they went back to a quiet silence.

"I've missed you so much"

Tooru smirked.

"It's been just a month Iwa-"

"It’s been the longest fucking month of my whole life"

Tooru closed his eyes and frowned.

"When you say those things… it confuses me."

"What things?"

"Well, that. And that you missed me. And last night, that you only wanted to hear my voice." He lowered his voice, almost as if he didn’t want Hajime to listen, "and when you call me _my Tooru_." He opened and closed his mouth several times. "It’s just… I- I don't know what you mean, Iwa-chan."

"I think it's pretty obvious, isn't it?"

Both guys were blushing. Tooru looked a bit scared and Hajime knew what he had to do.

"I like you, Tooru." He smiled before adding " _my Tooru_ ".

Tooru smiled a bit, it wasn't reaching his eyes. His sadness made his heart shrinked.

"And yet you went on a date with Tessa."

Hajime was speechless. He tried to think of all those things he had prepared and nothing came to mind. He had gone blank when he saw the pain in Tooru’s eyes.

"I can explain…"

Tooru sighed.

"It's okay Iwa-chan."

"It's… it's a bit complicated."

"Oh, I know, I know..." Tooru snorted. "I'm a man. I live in another country. I'm too high-maintenance. It's okay. I know…”

"Oikawa Tooru, for fucks sake shut the hell up."

Tooru opened his eyes in shock.

"I'm not letting you go down that road again. Listen to me, _please_."

Tooru closed his eyes and breathed deeply. A few seconds later, he opened them and locked his gaze in Hajime before nodding.

_I love you. I’ve loved you since I was fifteen. I thought I was over you and I needed four people to help me realize that it never happened._

“I like you. I already told you that and I mean it. There are… some things I want to tell you in person, but I can tell you others. For starters, I owe you an explanation.”

“Hajime, you don’t have to. You liked her more, I get it. I told you it’s oka-”

“NO!”

The scream startled both. Hajime sighed exasperatedly.

“Please Tooru. Just let me talk.”

“Okay…”

Hajime breathed deeply. He needed to order his ideas.

“I owe you an explanation. And I don’t even know where to begin.” He snorted and used his hands to cover his face.

When he looked up, Tooru was raising his right hand.

“This isn’t school, Shittykawa” and both laughed.

“I know, but I didn’t want you to scream at me again” he pouted.

_God I’ve missed you..._

Hajime chuckled.

“Sorry about that. What did you wanna say?”

“It’s just… If you don’t know where to start… Would you mind if I ask and you answer?”

“That’s… actually a great idea.”

“Well, I’ve always been the smart one, Iwa-chan.” he winked.

_Fuck Tooru, I need you…_

“You’re right. Go ahead, ask.”

Tooru stared at him for a long time with narrowed eyes, probably deciding what he wanted to know the most. He was of curious nature so Hajime was mentally preparing for the interrogation.

“Okay, first question.”

Hajime gulped.

“Do you like her?”

“No.”

His answer was immediate. It got Tooru by surprise.

“Really?”

“Really.”

Hajime saw the confusion and pain crossing through his eyes and panicked. He had started babbling when Tooru spoke again.

“Then why did you go on a date with her?”

He was frowning. His mind surely was painting him the worst-case scenario and Hajime was determined to stop it.

“I was trying to stop thinking of you.”

“Oh.”

Tooru widened his eyes and Hajime’s cheeks dyed red. He felt exposed.

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

He’s frown had grown bigger and Hajime didn’t know if this was a good sign.

_Alright, you’re already down the rabbit hole. As long as you don’t tell him you love him, you’re good… You have to tell him that face to face._

“Because I didn’t know if you liked me.” he blushed even harder and continued. “I… I couldn’t stop thinking about you and honestly, it’s been like that for a while. After the wedding, that’s all I could think of. Kissing you… and… and… you know”

Tooru laughed and Hajime realized he had been focusing on a spot on his shoulder. He looked into his eyes and saw the brunet’s face all red.

“And then I realized I wanted to take you on a date.”

Tooru’s laugh stopped. Hajime got brave.

“I realized I wanted to hold your hand. And take you to a nice restaurant. And have dinner with you _face to face_ , not behind this damn laptop. And listen to all your crazy stories _in person_. And your theories on aliens. And your laugh. And rub our feet below the table. And intertwine our fingers. And caress your cheek. And put your hair behind your ear… I wanted it all, Tooru.”

“Hajime…”

Tooru’s eyes were wet, and Hajime felt his copying.

“And I got scared, Tooru. I got so fucking scared. I didn’t know if you felt the same.” He was sobbing now. “It got worse after we slept together so that’s why I accepted the date. To forget about you. And god I failed miserably.” He laughed and more tears fell. “I completely forgot about the date instead, until Tessa showed up in the apartment.”

“You could have told her no” Tooru’s voice cracked. He was also crying.

“I _needed_ to stop thinking about you. I thought if I focused on someone else… But it didn’t work.” He smiled. “I talked about you all the time. And I thought I had time but then we said goodbye and I checked the clock you had been waiting for half an hour.”

Silence fell upon them. Both men were trying to calm down. Finally, Hajime spoke again.

“I messed up real bad. I panicked when you asked me if I told her about us. My mind started screaming at me that somehow, you’ve figured out everything, that you knew how I felt, and I didn't really want you to know. I didn’t wanna lose you…”

“You could never lose me Iwa-chan…”

“I know… I know it doesn’t make sense but… your face was so unreadable and… I didn’t know what to say. I convinced myself that it had meant nothing That’s why I said that stupidity about _all the people I’m banging_ or whatever when I’ve only had sex with two people.”

Tooru began crying again, covering his eyes with his arms.

“Please… Tooru, please, don’t cry… What’s wrong?”

“I thought…” He took a deep breath and looked at Hajime. “I thought it didn’t mean anything to you, I thought you just used me…”

“I would never do that…” Hajime wanted to hug him _so badly_.

“Well, I know that _now_ ” Tooru giggled through the tears.

“Tooru…”

“I’m okay, I’m okay…” He grabbed a tissue that was nearby and blew his nose.

Hajime waited till Tooru calmed down.

“It hit me then, when I saw the tears in your eyes right before you hid your face, that you felt the same. But you didn’t let me say anything… Your mind was already playing tricks with you, right?”

“You know me too well, Iwa-chan.” Tooru smiled.

Hajime raised a hand to gently touch his screen, as if he was caressing Tooru’s cheek.

“I broke your heart, didn’t I?”

Tooru gave him a shy smile and blushed.

“Just a bit, Iwa-chan.”

Hajime suddenly got serious, and Tooru frowned.

“I swear to you Tooru, I’m gonna spend my whole life trying to make it up to you.”

“But… but I don’t want that, Hajime.” The boy blinked.

“You don’t?”

“No.” Tooru was smiling at him and Hajime was confused. “I don’t want you to feel like you owe me something. This was a misunderstanding, and I’m okay, now that you’ve explained everything to me. I just… I want my best friend back.”

“Your… best friend.”

“For now,” and Hajime didn’t miss the mischievous spark in his eyes.

“Yeah, for now” he repeated.

They stayed quiet for a while. Hajime knew he looked like a complete fool in love -and he was- staring at Tooru with the biggest smile on his face that rested on his cupped hands. But he couldn’t care less. 

Tooru looked nervous. He ran a hand through his hair and opened his mouth.

“Hajime, I-”

“Wait! Don’t say it if I can’t kiss you after.”

Tooru stayed there with his mouth open for a few seconds, before flushing to the ears.

“Yeah, okay, okay… You’re right.”

Hajime burst out laughing and Tooru smiled at him.

“What?”

“It’s just… God, I’m so relieved Tooru… I like you so _so_ much.”

Tooru got even more redder before whispering.

“I like you too, Iwa-chan.”

Now, it was his time to blush. 

“I feel like in the end I haven’t asked many questions...” 

“Well, you have time…” Hajime checked the clock. “Shit Tooru, you don’t. You should go to sleep… It’s midnight down there.”

“Iwa-chan, are you my mum?” he teased.

“ _Go_.”

“Alright, alright…” Tooru looked at him giggling. 

He stood up taking his computer with him. Hajime watched as he turned off the lights of his little flat and walked to his familiar bedroom. Tooru placed the laptop on his desk and winked at him before turning and beginning to undress. He grabbed the edge of his shirt and pulled it off. Hajime instantly drooled at the sight of his back.

_Fuck._

Then, Tooru unzipped his jeans and slid them down his legs, bending over a little more than necessary to finish removing them. He took his clothes and turned around to place them on his chair. Hajime’s cock twitched at the sight of him wearing only his underwear.

_Fuck._

Tooru walked to his laptop.

“Good night Iwa-chan. Sleep well.” He winked at him again and ended the call.

_That bastard..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!
> 
> maybe there're too many OCs but i think it's understandable
> 
> feel free to comment and tell me your thoughts, i answer everything :)


	4. Different type of love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa Tooru was one month from turning twenty when he met Mateo Sandoval.
> 
> It was love at first sight. Or so he thought. He’d call it infatuation when asked about it barely two months later. Hajime would call it bullshit.
> 
> Let's take a look at the "love" story of Oikawa and Matt.  
> A prequel to Teach me how to dance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING TRIGGER WARNING TRIGGER WARNING
> 
> this relates a toxic relationship with an attempted assault (light, but still)  
> please be careful while reading

**_20th June, 2014_ **

Oikawa Tooru was one month from turning twenty when he met Mateo Sandoval.

It was love at first sight. Or so he thought. He’d call it infatuation when asked about it barely two months later. Hajime would call it bullshit.

The truth was back then he didn’t know anything about love. Romantic love, that is. Tooru loved many people -his family, his Iwa-chan, Mattsun and Makki, his teammates from Seijoh and CA San Juan…-but he had never experienced that lifts-us-up-where-we-belong type of love.

He had dated a lot of girls but _of course_ they didn’t last long. He spent too much time focusing on volleyball or with his friends.

_You stood me up again!_

_I’m sorry._

_You see them every day! Specially Iwaizumi! Why can’t you ignore them and have dinner with me?_

_Cause I rather be with them! I enjoy their company more._

Yeah, that had been a shitty move.

But what was he supposed to say? I started dating you cause you’re nice but I can’t feel nothing more for you because I’m gay? He couldn’t. He was too scared at the time.

The only man he had done something with had been Victor and it had ended as quickly as it started because the guy was an asshole. That was all the experience he had. A couple kisses in the backyard of a house in Santa Ana and an unwanted hand on his groin.

Tooru wanted to fall in love. He had always been a hopeless romantic deep down. Too many k-dramas with his mom and sister, probably. Maybe that’s why everything happened.

He had made a trip to Ushuaia with Diego and a couple more teammates for the National Party of the Longest Night, an event that commemorates the Winter Solstice in the South Hemisphere and lasts three days, full of spectacles, music and fun. Tooru couldn’t hide his emotion. It was his first getaway with his teammates and the second time he visited some part of Argentina that wasn’t San Juan (the first one being Buenos Aires obviously).

That day Tooru had decided to go explore by himself, his friends too hangover to keep up with his excitement. He grabbed his coat and put his scarf and gloves in his backpack and left the hotel room quietly, careful not to wake them, after leaving a note with his whereabouts.

It was just a ten-minute walk from there to the End of the World Museum, the first stop on his touristic tour. Well, the second. As he passed by a local bakery a delicious smell got his attention and his stomach roared. 

“ _Una empanada de pollo, por favor._ ” 

His mouth watered while waiting for the lady to get it and wrap it. He wanted to tell her that she didn’t need to do it because he was going to devour it right there and then but he bit his tongue. He didn’t want to sound rude. He took his wallet to pay and a shadow emerged from behind him.

“ _Otra más, y yo invito._ ”

He looked back and saw a man standing there, one head taller than him.

“Thanks, but I can…”

He had pulled out his card when the stranger gripped his wrist.

“Keep it, pretty boy.”

His words made him blushed. Was he flirting?

“O-Okay.”

While he stood there red like a tomato, the man took a step forward and paid for both of them. Once they were on the street, Tooru turned to say goodbye.

“Well, thanks. You didn’t need-”

“I wanted to. What’s your name?”

Tooru blinked.

“Uhm, Tooru.”

“Well, nice to meet you Toru. I’m Mateo, but I guess that could be a little difficult for you so you can call me Matt.”

“Nice to meet you too… Matt.”

Matt. His name on his tongue sounded _so_ good. Tooru couldn’t take his eyes away from his blue ones. And he had to look _up_ for that. His dark blond hair in a bun and a groomed beard framed his face. Was he a Viking? Was that a crush? He had even forgotten he was hungry. He flushed even more when he realized he was staring and Matt was smirking at him.

“You’re not from here, right cutie? First time in Argentina?”

His heart was beating too fast and Tooru shook his head to try to calm down. When it stabilized, he looked up and showed him his best smile.

“Actually, I’ve been living in San Juan for two years.”

Matt raised an eyebrow.

“Really? What are you doing there?”

“I’m the setter of CA San Juan.” He looked at Tooru like he was talking to him in Japanese and not Spanish, so he quickly clarified “I-I play volleyball.”

He looked him up and down. 

“Yeah, you got the built for that.” He grinned and Tooru gulped. “But seriously, volley? Isn’t there another sport more thrilling in Japan? I’m sure you could have played football if you wanted.”

“W-well, yes, but I lov-”

“Where are you going, _Toru_?”

There was something in the way he said his name that placed butterflies in his stomach.

“I wanted to get my passport sealed at the museum…”

“Do you mind if I accompany you?”

Tooru was nervous. He didn’t know him. He was just some guy who had bought him breakfast and who now wanted to what? Spend the day with him? Just make sure he wouldn’t get lost? Something… more? He was mostly certain that he had been flirting with him. He seemed nice. He thought of Victor. He had also seemed nice. He also thought of what Iwa-chan had told him that night while pressing an ice cube against his bruised lip.

_Not all of them are assholes, Tooru._

He decided he would take the risk.

“I’d love that.”

They spent the day walking around Encerrada Bay, talking about everything and nothing at the same time. He found out Matt played basketball, had a dog named Ruff, had travelled a lot ( _but unfortunately, I’ve never been in Japan_ ), and lived in Mendoza.

“Really? That’s super close to San Juan.”

“Yeah, just two hours and a half by car. I could pay you a visit anytime.”

He took Tooru’s hand as he said that. He looked at him with what Tooru assumed it was his characteristic grin and his heart skipped a beat.

“That’d be nice…”

Tooru stared at him with the fascination blinding his eyes.

Matt took the lead, dragging him around and pointing everywhere, dropping fun facts and curiosities that made Tooru’s mouth be kept in a permanent and surprised _Oh_. He was only one year older than him, and yet he looked so mature. There were times when he looked back at him smiling and Tooru’s breathing stopped. Then he turned again and his gaze wandered down his back. It was hard to tell with all the layers but he was _strong_. His cheeks were a permanent red all morning.

Soon, it was time to have lunch.

“I thought I could take you to a nice restaurant and treat you to a giant spider crab, it’s typical here. Would you like that, pretty boy?”

They were standing by the pier holding hands, and Matt moved closer to put one lock of Tooru’s hair behind his ear. His heart paused the whole time his hand was touching him.

“I-I’d love that.”

“Great. Let’s get going.”

He grabbed Tooru’s hand again and began walking.

“Wait!” Matt turned to him, frowning. “I have to tell my friends not to wait for me.”

He pulled out his phone and checked his texts. Meanwhile Matt was looking at him with a question on his face.

“I thought you came here alone.”

Tooru looked up from the screen and smiled.

“No, I’m here with my team.” And went back to answering.

Matt let out a hum and muttered something that sounded like _I can work with that_. Tooru didn’t know what he meant.

**From: Diego-chan!**

Toruuuuu I’ve finally kicked these jerks out of the bed, where do we meet?

**To: Diego-chan!**

soooooo 

i’ve met someone o.O

i’m sorry, i’ll see you guys at the hotel tonight!

**From: Diego-chan!**

Uuuuuuuh e.e

You MUST tell me everything later.

Lunch went by normally, with a few heated comments Matt whispered.

_You’re even better without your coat, wonder how you’ll look without clothes on._

He had winked and Tooru got red and babbled a thank you.

They were now sitting on a bench eating a chocolate crepe -Matt had invited him again- and waiting for the fireworks while watching the March of Lights. There was something magical in the sight of all those people walking together carrying burning torches and Tooru’s eyes were sparkling like a kid on a Christmas morning. 

A shiver ran down his spine when he felt Matt moving closer to him and placing an arm above his shoulders. Tooru blushed and looked at him. Those blue eyes pierced through him and then lowered to his lips.

“You have chocolate here.” He cupped his face and brushed the corner of his mouth with his thumb. “Let me…”

Tooru saw him leaning forward and closed his eyes.

Their lips met for the first time as the fireworks exploded in the sky.

His heart stopped and his mind went blank.

He was stuck.

* * *

**_Fantastic Four_ **

**Tooru**

guyyyyys~

i’m back home!

**Mattsun**

How was the flight?

**Tooru**

great! i get to sleep a little

BUT THAT’S NOT IMPORTANT

**Mattsun**

What happened?

**Tooru**

i think i’ve met the love of my life

**Iwa-chan <3**

What?

**Makki**

Did u finally find a bakery that sells milk bread?

**Tooru**

no! but now i miss it

thanks makki :(

**Makki**

Anytime ;)

**Iwa-chan <3**

Shittykawa

Focus

**Tooru**

right! sorry

soooo i was hungry and this nice and TALL (more than kindaichi!!) and soooo handsome man approached me and bought me an empanada

and then we spent all day together and he was sooooo nice

he took my hand!!!! and omg guys my heart

literally stopped

and then we had lunch at this beautiful restaurant he knew 

and theeeeeeeeeen he kissed me

HE KISSED ME

WITH THE FIREWORKS

i’m screaming

**Mattsun**

Are you sure you’re not making this up?

It looks like one of those soap operas you watch

**Tooru**

mattsun, rude :(

**Makki**

Don’t worry, I believe you Oikawa

**Tooru**

that’s why you’re my favorite!

**Mattsun**

Rude

**Iwa-chan <3**

The important thing is if you were comfortable with him

**Tooru**

yes iwa-chan!!!

he just said some things that were…. too straight forward

if you know what i mean

**Iwa-chan <3**

What did he say, Tooru?

**Tooru**

well, i removed my coat at the restaurant

and he said he bet i’d look better with no clothes at all

**Makki**

My my

He wants a piece of our captain, Issei

What do you think? ;)

**Mattsun**

I think you'd be correct Hiro

That guy wants your butt oikawa ;)

**Tooru**

omg guys pls stop

iwa-chan say something

**Iwa-chan <3**

Just

Be careful

* * *

_**29th June, 2014** _

A week passed by in a blink of an eye. Matt and Tooru texted almost every minute and finally they had agreed to go to the cinema next Saturday in San Juan. It was easier to meet there since he had a car while Tooru would have to take two buses.

He was pacing up and down his room, with Hajime’s sighs as background noises.

“It’s gonna be fine, Tooru. For what you’ve told me, the guy already likes you so there’s nothing to worry about.”

“But what if I say something wrong? What if I talk about volley too much? He doesn’t like it…”

Hajime sighed for the hundredth time.

“There are infinite topics to cover, you don’t have to talk about volley. Though it’s a big deal for you -it’s literally what you do for a living- so he should suck it and listen to you.”

Tooru sat on his bed and looked at his best friend through his laptop screen.

“Guess you’re right, Iwa-chan.”

He snorted.

“I’m always right.”

Tooru played with his fingers and bit his lips.

“It’s just… Is this date, Iwa-chan?”

“You’re going to the movies with a guy you like and who likes you back. I mean, I’m not an expert but isn’t that the definition of a date? Besides, you’ve already kissed so, yes Tooru, it’s a date.”

The aforementioned phone buzzed and he checked it.

“He’s here. He’s already parked.” He took a deep breath. “Iwa-chan, this is happening.”

Hajime chuckled.

“If only your fangirls could see you now…”

Tooru bit his nails and looked at him.

“This is my first date Iwa-chan.” The boy raised an eyebrow, amused. “I mean, the first one I care about…”

Hajime’s gaze softened and smiled at the nervous mess that was his best friend.

“Tooru… I’m gonna say this once, okay? You’re the most incredible man I’ve ever met. Smart, hard-working, strong, and well…” He flushed and stuttered a bit. “You’re really handsome, you know? You have this soft hair, and those big brown eyes, and… and…” Hajime ran a hand through his hair. “We’ve been playing volleyball all our lives so of course you have a nice body… You have your things, obviously, but even your alien obsession is cute.” Tooru giggled and Hajime sighed. “What I mean is… No doubt the boy is bonkers with you. And it’s all gonna be fine.” 

They stayed there in complete silence, looking at each other, until his phone buzzed again.

“Oh shit. Matt’s waiting. Sorry, Iwa-chan, gotta go.”

“Sure, have fun. And be careful. And tell me everything later.”

He waved him goodbye and closed his laptop, grabbed his keys and ran to the corner of the parking lot where they had agreed to meet. He saw Matt standing there checking his phone and called him. The boy looked up and waited there for him. When Tooru was close he gripped his wrist with one hand to pull him closer and moved the other to hold his nape.

“I’ve missed you, pretty boy.”

Tooru blushed a little before he kissed him.

“I’ve missed you too.”

Matt clicked his tongue.

“I wish I could believe you, Tooru, but if that was true you wouldn’t have made me wait.”

His eyes were full of rage and although he’d just kissed him, it looked like he didn’t like Tooru at all. He shrunk under that gaze.

“Are you… are you angry?”

“What do you think, Toru?”

There was something in the way he said his name that placed a knot in his stomach.

“I’m… I’m sorry.”

“You better be.”

That startled him a bit.

“It’s just… I was nervous and I called my best friend and-”

Matt raised an eyebrow and looked at him.

“You made your boyfriend wait because you were talking with some random friend?”

That sentence alone fried Tooru’s brain. He didn’t know what to answer.

“Are we… are you… my boyfriend?”

Matt softened his gaze a bit and caressed his cheek.

“I guess we didn’t discuss it properly, but tell me Tooru…” He approached him and kissed him again. “Don’t you wanna be mine? Don’t you want us to be together?”

Tooru couldn’t think. His reason had abandoned him and his heart had stopped working. He pressed their foreheads together and looked at him.

“I’d love that, Matt.”

He smiled at Tooru and kissed him one more time before grabbing his hand.

“Let’s go, we’re gonna be late.”

He started walking with Tooru just a step behind, his eyes locked on their hands. It was a short walk to the cinema and they spent it in complete silence, which Tooru appreciated because his brain wasn’t working properly.

_Boyfriend. Boyfriend. He’s my boyfriend. I have a boyfriend. Oh my God I have to tell them. I’m sure Makki and Mattsun have some ongoing bet about this…_

When they got there, Tooru turned to check the timetable.

“I was thinking we-”

“There’s a movie I’d love to see, I got us tickets already.”

“Oh, okay.”

He followed him as Matt went to buy some popcorn and refreshments, and then they found their seats. Before he could speak, Matt apologized.

“I’m sorry about before. It’s just… I’ve missed you so much I couldn’t wait to see you, cutie.”

Tooru smiled and shrugged.

“It’s okay. I’m sorry too, I lost track of tim-”

“Who were you talking to?”

“My best friend, Iwa-chan.”

“What a weird name.”

“It’s a nickname I gave him. I’ve known him since we were born, we liv-”

“And what were you talking about? Must be important.”

Tooru blushed a bit remembering what Hajime had said about him.

“He was just… calming me down. I was nervous…” He bit his lower lip. “This is my first date.”

When Matt heard that, his smile grew bigger and his eyes sparkled as if Tooru was a winning lottery ticket, which made his heart skip a beat.

“I’m glad I’m your first, _Toru_.”

_Ah, the butterflies again._

Matt put his arm around his shoulders and fixed his eyes on the screen as the movie started. When they were getting to the plot twist and Tooru was really intrigued, he felt a hand on his knee. He looked at his left, where Matt was staring at him grinning. He leaned closer and whispered:

“This movie is boring… Wanna make out?”

Tooru’s cheeks turned red. He really wanted to watch the movie but he couldn’t tell him no when he was looking at him like that. He leaned forward and their lips met. Matt tightened the grip on his knee and moved his hand to his head to pull him even closer. Tooru felt something wet pressing against his mouth and opened it. Matt’s tongue explored his mouth relentlessly, sucking on his own and biting his lips. His hands were placed on Matt’s chest and he could feel all his muscles. Tooru couldn’t help but think he had to be really strong. Their tongues intermingled and he let out a pleased sigh.

Suddenly, he felt a pressure near his groin. A flashback of that night with Victor crossed his mind. He moved his hand down to grab Matt’s and placed it on his knee again, without breaking the kiss. Immediately, the boy had moved his hand again. Tooru felt his body tense. He parted a bit and whispered.

“Matt…”

He didn’t let him speak and kissed him again. He squeezed his inner thigh and Tooru gasped.

“Matt, don’t…”

“Sssh…”

He bit his bottom lip as he placed his hand over his crotch. Tooru jumped on his seat.

“Stop.”

“Come on, Toru, I’ll make you see the stars…”

“I said NO.”

He pushed him and _finally_ Matt stopped touching him. He looked at him with an expressionless face and returned his gaze at the screen. Tooru closed his eyes trying to steady his breathing. He was panting and he hadn’t realized. He sat there the rest of the movie with a weird knot in his stomach, watching without paying attention.

When the film ended, Matt stood up and walked past him without waiting. Tooru quickly followed him, and when he tried to hold his hand, Matt shook it. The knot was now in his throat and he cursed himself for his stupidity.

They walked in complete silence until the parking lot.

“I-I’m sorry…”

More silence. Matt opened his car and Tooru panicked at the thought of him leaving without talking.

“Matt… Talk to me…”

The man sighed and looked back at him.

“What do you wanna talk about?”

“The...The cinema.”

“It’s okay Toru, I get it. First, he leaves me waiting because he’s talking with who knows who and then I try to do him a favor and he rejects me. My own boyfriend doesn’t want me to touch him.”

“It’s not that…” But from some corner of his mind his brain screamed at him that it was exactly that. He shut that voice and walked to _his boyfriend_. He hugged him and whispered. “I’ll make it up to you next weekend.”

After a few seconds, Matt hugged him back and kissed his head.

“Do you have something planned?”

Tooru looked up and smiled at him.

“We have a match next Sunday.” He blushed. “Would you… would you come and watch me play? And you can meet my team. And I’ll prove to you that volley isn’t boring.”

Matt raised an eyebrow and smirked.

“You think you can do that?”

Tooru looked at him defiant.

“You’ve never seen _me_ play.”

Matt kissed him briefly.

“I like you, _Toru_ ”

“I like you too.”

He saw him get in the car and waved him goodbye. Then, he walked to his house and threw himself on his bed, his mouth forming the biggest smile it could. He grabbed the phone and opened his favorite group chat.

**_Fantastic Four_ **

**Tooru**

are u there?

**Makki**

Mattsun’s working

But I’m here baby ;)

**Iwa-chan <3**

Yes

**Tooru**

anyone wants to know how the date went?

**Makki**

YES, and spare no details

**Tooru**

well, first of all

I HAVE A BOYFRIEND

**Iwa-chan <3**

Congratulations

**Makki**

Well done!

**Tooru**

it was super funny because i was running late

thanks iwa-chan

and when i got there he said

you made your boyfriend wait because you were talking with some random friend???

and i swear i heard my brain scream

**Iwa-chan <3**

Random friend?

**Makki**

Jealous?

**Tooru**

don’t worry iwa-chan i told him you were my childhood best friend!

but anyway

we went to the movies and he already bought the tickets and then invited me to popcorn as well

**Iwa-chan <3**

I thought you were going to decide the movie together

**Tooru**

yes but it doesn’t matter

i liked the movie

well at least what i could watch

**Iwa-chan <3**

What do you mean?

**Makki**

I’m guessing something naughty ;)

**Tooru**

he tried to touch me in the middle of the movie theater

**Makki**

Tried?

**Iwa-chan <3**

Define touching

**Tooru**

well…….

first he said the movie was boring and then he kissed me

and put his hand on my knee

aaaaand then he put it over _me_

and i told him to stop, please

**Iwa-chan <3**

Did he?

**Tooru**

i mean, not the first time

but he stopped

don’t worry iwa-chan

and before he left he told me he likes meeeeeee

aaaand he’s coming to the match next sunday!!

i’m super excited :D

* * *

**From: Makki**

I don’t like him, Iwaizumi

**To: Makki**

Me neither…

* * *

_**7th July, 2014** _

The match had been the best they’d played so far. Tooru was great, scoring five service aces in a row and tossing perfectly to all of his teammates. And that considering that every time he looked up, he saw Matt looking down but not at him, at his cellphone. It stinged and his mood decayed as the match kept going, but he didn’t let it affect his concentration.

He shook hands with the other team and then proceeded to listen to Blanco’s notes and advices. His eyes kept turning to Matt, who was now standing near the door. When the talk ended, he ran to him, with sparkling eyes. He went in for a hug but Matt stopped him.

“What do you think you’re doing? You’re all sweaty.”

Tooru blushed in shame and looked down.

“You’re right, sorry.”

“Anyway, shower and change quickly, I don’t wanna be here longer than necessary.”

“O-Okay.”

He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to see his best friend.

“Hey man, I’m Diego. Nice to finally meet you. Toru here can’t stop talking about you.”

Matt barely glanced at him.

“Hello. Toru, I’m waiting outside. Try and not be late. I know it’s hard for you, but just try, okay?”

Tooru muttered a barely audible yes and Diego frowned.

“What the hell?”

Matt was already leaving but stopped at the spiker’s words.

“Do you have a problem?”

“Yes?! Who do you think you are to talk to him like that?”

Matt smirked at him and looked Diego up and down.

“His boyfriend. What happens? You jealous?”

“What-”

“Diego, stop!” Tooru shook his shoulder and the blond’s hand fell, then he looked at Matt. “I’m sorry, I’ll be quick.”

He ran to the locker room, feeling the eyes of his whole team locked on him. He undressed in a matter of seconds and went to the shower, he washed himself as quickly as he could and went back to the room where his teammates were changing. His eyes met Diego's for just a moment. His friend closed his locker with such strength that everybody shut up. The silence following was deafening. He turned to the setter who was putting on his clothes.

“What was that, Toru?”

“Everything’s fine. Don’t worry.”

“Don’t you see how he talked to you just now?”

“It’s just… He’s bored and tired. He doesn’t like volley.”

“That’s not an excuse! You can’t let him talk to you like that! And besides, if he doesn’t like volley, he doesn’t like you, Toru.”

Tooru ignored him, too busy collecting his things. Diego looked around at his teammates searching for some support. The concern covered all of their faces. Tooru grabbed his bag and opened the door.

“Toru.” Pedro called him and Tooru turned around to look at his captain. “Your team will always have your back, okay?”

His eyes watered a bit before leaving. He took a deep breath before exiting the building. He saw Matt leaning on the wall and passed by him. He was mad at his boyfriend. He had hoped he could befriend his teammates, though deep down he knew that wouldn’t happen. Matt sighed and followed him.

“Toru, come here.”

“No.”

“Toru, stop walking.”

He turned and looked at his boyfriend, face covered with anger.

“Did you really need to be that nasty? They’re my team. My friends! I wanted you to get along with them! That’s why I invited you!”

Matt grabbed him and slammed him against the wall outside of the stadium, caging him there.

“That’s why you invited me here? I thought you wanted to make it up for the incident last week. Do you think a stupid volleyball match would make up for leaving me unsatisfied?” He pressed himself against Tooru. “Can’t you feel me? What are you gonna do about it, pretty boy?”

“HEY! What’s going on there?”

Matt jumped back and looked where the voice was coming from. He saw the janitor approaching them and smiled at him.

“Don’t worry, we’re fine!”

The man raised an eyebrow and looked at Tooru with a questioning face.

“Toru, sweetheart, are you okay?”

The boy was panting and a few tears stained his cheeks. He breathed deeply trying to compose himself and then smiled at him.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks for your concern. We…” He looked at Matt and gulped at the seriousness in his eyes. “We were just talking.”

Matt placed his arm around his shoulders and kissed his head. The janitor looked at them unconvinced. Tooru got nervous, he just wanted to go home.

“I’ll see you at Hugo’s wedding!”

He waved at him and turned to keep walking, ignoring Matt, though he could feel him behind him like a shadow.

“Toru, I’m sorry.”

He stopped and turned around with the retort ready in his tongue but his words were cut off when he saw he was crying. Matt stood there, with his face covered in pain and tears streaming down. Tooru was shocked. He didn’t know what to do.

“Please, don’t hate me.” He hiccupped at the end of the sentence and Tooru ran towards him and buried his face on his chest, his arms surrounding his waist.

“I could never hate you, Matt. You’re my boyfriend, I like you.”

They stayed there for a while, with Matt covering his face with soft kisses, each one making Tooru’s heart skip a beat. They said goodbye in the same parking lot that last week.

Then, Tooru went home and cried.

* * *

_**16th July, 2014** _

“I’m so sorry about last week, Toru. I behaved like a jerk. I’m really glad you accepted to have dinner with me” Matt filled their wine glasses and took his hand. “What can I do to make it up?”

Tooru squeezed his hand and smiled.

“It’s okay, you apologized after, that’s all I wanted.”

They were in La Cava, the fanciest restaurant in San Juan. After their fight last Sunday, Matt had texted him, asking if he was okay and inviting him to dinner to make it up for. Tooru’s face had beamed when he read that and quickly said yes.

_This is nice._

They were chatting amicably about trivialities, laughing and teasing each other. It reminded him of when they met in Ushuaia. By dessert, Tooru had forgotten everything that had happened.

Matt made a sign for the waitress to bring him the bill and Tooru couldn’t help it.

“I’m so lucky to have you.”

Matt looked at him surprised for a few seconds. Then, he leaned forward to caress his cheek with his thumb.

“No, I’m the lucky one, _Toru_.” He sighed and looked at him tenderly. “I think I may be falling in love with you.”

Tooru blinked at that statement. What was he supposed to say? Wasn’t that too fast? They had only met a couple times. Sure, they talked every single day but still. He didn’t love him, he was sure of that. And he was also sure he was far from falling in love. He just liked him. But he couldn’t tell him that, could he? Would that break his heart? Tooru didn’t want to upset him like the last time. His laugh cut his train of thought.

“It’s okay cutie, you don’t have to answer that. I just thought you’d like to know.”

Tooru blushed and smiled shyly at him.

“Thanks…”

He stayed there in silence while Matt was paying and thanking the waitress and asking her to thank the chef for the delicious meal.

_He’s such a gentleman… He’s perfect._

He helped Tooru put on his coat and opened the door for him. They walked holding hands under the stars quietly, looking at each other randomly and smiling.

They arrived at his street and a knot was placed in his stomach.

_Should I invite him up? Maybe it’s too soon…_

“You know…” Matt’s voice startled him. “I’ve been thinking, and I want to apologize to your team.” He stopped walking and forced Tooru to do the same. “You’re going to a wedding, right?”

His cheeks turned red when his brain understood what he was proposing.

“Y-yes… It’s in three weeks…”

“Great, I’ll go with you.”

With his free hand, he grabbed his nape and pulled him closer to kiss him. Tooru closed his eyes and let himself get lost on the sensation of his tongue playing with his own. Matt’s heavy breath did something inside of him and a shiver ran through his body.

_Oh my God he wants to go to the wedding with me. He wants to get along with my friends. He thinks he’s falling in love with me. He’s perfect. And fuck he kisses so damn well…_

Tooru wrapped his arms around his neck and deepened the kiss. He felt Matt smiling against his mouth and pushing him gently against the wall of the street.

Tooru opened his eyes wide when he felt the pressure on his back and Matt’s hands on his ass.

“Please, stop…”

Matt grunted.

“Seriously?”

“Please…”

This time he listened to him. He let out an exasperated sigh and pulled back a bit, placing his hands at both sides of Tooru’s head.

“Toru, I know I’m your first boyfriend and all that but I think I’ve been patient enough, don’t you think? All I want is to make you feel good…” He leaned to kiss his neck and Tooru’s body tensed. “But you reject me every time… Do you even like me?”

His eyes pierced him through and Tooru stuttered.

“Yes… Yes… Of course, I like you… I’m just nervous…”

“Well, don’t be. I’ll take care of you…” He kissed him again. “Now, let’s move this party to your house…”

“No!” Tooru screamed.

Matt raised an eyebrow, expecting him to name a reason.

“Not today… not today…” His brain was working at full speed trying to find a solution while Matt moved a hand to his waist. Finally, he had an idea. “Next week. Next Wednesday is my birthday…”

Matt grinned at that.

“You want me to be your birthday present, _Toru_?”

“Y-yes…”

Honestly, he didn’t know what he was doing. He just wanted to keep him happy and if the smile he was flashing him was any indication, he was _really_ happy.

“Okay, pretty boy. Since it’s a special occasion and all, why don’t I book a nice hotel room here in San Juan on Saturday? And we can sleep together, and cuddle…” he was peppering his face with kisses as he spoke “...and I’ll get to see your pretty face just awaken…” Tooru felt his body melt under those words. “What do you say, _Toru_?”

“I’d really love that.”

* * *

**_23rd July, 2014_ **

**_Fantastic Four_ **

**Tooru**

so

tonight’s the night

**Mattsun**

How do you feel?

**Tooru**

nervous

a bit

extremely nervous

**Makki**

Remember you can always change your mind

**Mattsun**

And he has to stop at any time if you want

**Tooru**

yesyes i know

**Iwa-chan <3**

Tooru

**Tooru**

tell me iwa-chan <3

**Iwa-chan <3**

Please don’t force yourself to do something you don’t want to

Be careful

If you’re not sure about something, ask him to stop

Please don’t be stubborn…

**Tooru**

iwa-chan

don’t worry <3

i’ve talked to makki a loooooooooot

and did some research

don’t worry

**Iwa-chan <3**

You can’t just ask me not to worry about you

I think it’s in my DNA

**Mattsun**

Same here

**Makki**

And here!

Oikawa

Just remember

You can say no

**Tooru**

oooooooh guyssss stop

you’re making me blush <3

anywayssssssss i have to go

matt’s just parked

kshdjksljd,slkdñs

i’ll tell you everything later

byeeeeeee <3

**Mattsun**

If something happens please call us

I have my phone charged and right beside me

**Makki**

Me too

Have fun!

**Iwa-chan <3**

Same

Be safe

* * *

Tooru smiled at the screen and put his phone on his backpack. He took a last look at his reflection in the mirror, fixed a lock of hair and smiled to encourage himself. The truth was he was really nervous. He wasn’t sure if he was ready. Some voice inside his brain was screaming at him that it was right. He was twenty years old; he had a perfect boyfriend that loved him -he hadn’t said it but he had texted it yesterday and Tooru couldn’t be happier-, and he had done his research.

If there was some advantage at having two shameless friends who liked to talk about his sex life even if unasked was to know who to ask. That’s why after the agreement last week he had run home and called Makki, because he knew Matt wouldn’t let him top. It’s not as if it mattered to him, he hadn’t thought about it until that moment and well, he liked it when he was alone, so, he would like it with Matt, wouldn’t he?

He grabbed his keys and locked his door, as the knot in his stomach turned heavier and heavier. His heart began beating faster and his palms became sweaty.

_Calm down Tooru, it’s not that big of a deal…_

But it was. His first time. He had been unsure the whole week, that’s why his friends had shown so much concern, repeating him again and again that he could say no. Hajime had been really graphic and extremely thorough the day before.

_What if he’s a sadist?_

_He’s not a sadist, Iwa-chan!_

_What if he wants a blowjob?_

_Well, maybe I’ll want to give him one!_

_What if he wants to fuck your face?_

_I’ll stop him_

_What if he handcuffs you and tries to fuck you without prepping you?_

_I’ll kick him!_

_And what if he doesn’t want to wear a condom? Have you talked about that?_

_No but I’ll ask him and he’ll listen to me_

_Like he had listened to you before? What if he says that he won’t cum otherwise?_

_Hajime…_

_What if he says that’s the only thing that will make him happy?_

_I’ll still refuse if I don’t want to_

_Do you really trust him, Tooru?_

_… I guess so…_

_Tooru, please… Just be careful… Please…_

He shook his worried voice from his head as he walked into the night of San Juan. Matt had booked a room in a small motel near his flat, barely ten minutes by foot, and was already there waiting for him. His feet felt glued to the pavement and soon he found himself _wishing_ the walk to be longer and unable to think of another thing but the incident at the movies. 

_It was just one time. He was frustrated. It’s okay, he’ll stop now..._

But the fear had already crept into his mind. When he arrived at the door, he had decided he didn’t want to do it.

_Tooru, breathe, you’ll tell him your decision and he’ll respect it. He loves you._

He knocked and Matt opened the door only wearing his underwear.

“Finally.” He grabbed him from his wrist and dragged him into the room as he closed the door with his foot.

It was hell after that.

Too soon, his back found the bed and Matt climbed on top of him, pining one hand above his head.

“Fuck, I’ve wanted this since I saw you standing in that store.” He kissed his neck and Tooru gasped.

He was shocked. He couldn’t move. Matt was biting his earlobe and the hand that wasn’t holding his sneaked under his shirt grabbing his waist. He pressed himself on Tooru and he could feel his boner perfectly. That made him react.

“Matt, stop…”

It was like he didn’t hear him. He kept holding him in place without being able to move. He used his free hand to push him lightly on his shoulder. Maybe he didn’t hear him.

“Matt, I want to wait… please…”

He took his hand and pinned it over his head, holding it there with the other with just one of his. Matt’s free hand then travelled to his chest and tried to unbutton it.

Tooru was becoming desperate. He was in denial. Matt couldn’t be doing that to him. He moved his hips and legs trying to get rid of him, but Matt was stronger than he thought.

“Nnnngh stop putting up a fight, you’re gonna love it!” He grunted.

“I don’t wanna… please stop…”

Tooru began crying. He freed one hand and started pushing desperately at Matt’s chest while he kept trying to unbutton his shirt.

“Stop… Stop…”

Matt grabbed his jaw to hold him in place and kissed him. He tried pulling away but he was caged on the bed so he bit his lips harshly.

“Shit.”

Matt slapped him in the face.

“That would teach you some manners.”

Tooru’s breathing was faltering. He had hit him.

Matt took advantage of that moment of shock to let go of his hands and completely unbutton his shirt. He roamed one hand over his abs and kissed his neck.

“Come on, pretty boy, don’t you trust me?”

“NO!”

Tooru pushed Matt away, finally recovering all his strength, and sent him to the floor.

“Fuck! I swear to you you're gonna-”

He didn’t wait to hear the rest. He got up, grabbed his bag and left.

He ran and ran and ran and didn’t stop until he got home and locked his door behind him. He leaned on it and dropped to the floor. He hugged his knees and cried bitterly, with his mind still trying to process what just had happened. He wanted to tell himself that Matt hadn’t just tried to force him, but he had never been that good of a liar.

His hands were trembling as he reached for his phone. He needed his friends. He needed to hear them. They had warned him, all of them. How could he have been so blind?

**_Fantastic Four_ **

**Tooru**

can you talk?

**_Incoming video call_ **

He was tempted to refuse. He didn’t want them to see him like that. They were gonna worry excessively and nothing had happened…

_Tooru, he pinned you to the bed and tried to undress you even when you told him to stop. That alone is already something._

He took a long breath and finally pressed the green button. The voice of his best friend greeted him.

“What the hell took you so-”

The question was left hanging when they took in the sight of his former captain: unbuttoned shirt, face covered in tears and his left cheek red with a hand-shape mark.

Nobody talked for a while, letting his sobs speak for him. After a couple of minutes, Makki’s sobs joined his own, and Mattsun opened and closed his mouth without knowing what to say. No one paid attention to Iwa who was just looking at Tooru with a feral rage covering his face until he dropped his phone and screamed. 

They stayed like that a few minutes, hearing him grunting and hitting something they assumed it was his pillow. Then, he grabbed his phone and looked directly at Tooru.

“I’m gonna kill him. I swear to you I’m gonna kill him.”

“Iwa…” Mattsun gulped. “Calm down…”

“HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CALM DOWN MATTSUKAWA. LOOK AT HIM. THAT SON OF A-”

“Iwa-chan…” Tooru’s voice cut him off. “He hasn’t… We didn’t…” He took a deep breath before continuing. “I ran off before he could do something more than unbuttoning my shirt.”

He saw the duo letting out sighs of relief, but his best friend kept staring at him.

“But he had hit you.”

Tooru began crying again and hid his face on his knees. The other three stayed there in silence, letting him cry all he needed. When his breathing stabilized, he looked up at them, smiled a bit and Hajime’s heart cracked. Mattsun was the one who broke the silence.

“Tooru, are you home? Are you safe now?”

“Yes… I’m home.” He hiccupped. “I pushed him and left the hotel and ran here.”

Mattsun and Iwa sighed with relief and Makki began sobbing again.

“I’m so sorry, Tooru. I’m so sorry… I shouldn’t have encouraged you-”

“No! It wasn’t your fault Makki. It was me… I’m the one who fell for all his tricks…”

“NO!” Mattsun screamed as he hugged his boyfriend to calm him down. He stared at Tooru with a serious face. “It’s no one’s fault but Matt’s. He’s the asshole. He’s the one who lied to you.”

That only made Tooru cried even harder.

Quietness fell upon them again, only being broken by Makki and Tooru’s sobs and Iwa’s hard breathing. Mattsun decided he had to take the lead.

“Tooru, listen to me.” The aforementioned raised his gaze. “Get up and go to your room. Open the laptop, call us and then go to sleep. We’ll watch over you, okay?”

Tooru nodded and stood up. On his way to the bedroom he removed his shirt and threw it in the garbage bin. Once he got there, he opened his computer and skyped them. Only when he saw them on the screen, he hung up the phone call. He placed the laptop on his desk facing him and laid down on his bed looking at them.

“I don’t think I’m gonna be able to sleep…”

“I know it’s hard but let’s try and think something positive: you won’t see him again. He’s not from San Juan and he had zero contact with the city before knowing you so-”

“The wedding.” Tooru sat up. “He’s coming to the wedding. He wanted to make amends with the team and I invited him and Hugo had already paid for it and-” He was hyperventilating.

“Tooru, breathe, look at me.” He focused his eyes on Mattsun. “He wouldn’t dare to step a foot there.

“He’s right. They’d kill him. You’re safe.”

Tooru focused on the couple and his voices, repeating him like a mantra that he was safe. Meanwhile, Iwa was typing something on his cellphone, eyebrows frowned and a serious expression on his face. After a few minutes he finally looked up.

“I talked to Hugo. I’m going with you to the wedding.”

Tooru widened his eyes in shock.

“What did you-”

“I just told him Matt wasn’t going.” Tooru sighed in relief. “But he’s not stupid Tooru…”

“I know, I know…” Tears fell from his eyes again. “I guess everybody knew except me, right? God, I’m so stupid…” He covered his face with one arm.

“You’re not stupid, Tooru.” Hajime looked at him with sadness and some tears in his eyes.

The boy buried his face on his pillow and cried under the worried look of his friends. He didn’t know how long he was there sobbing before running out of tears and closing his eyes. He faintly heard them wishing him good night before he dozed off.

* * *

**To: Hugo Godzilla**

Hey man, how are you?

Sorry to bother you this late but I have something to tell you

**From: Hugo Godzilla**

Iwa-chan buddy!! You never bother me! Shoot!

**To: Hugo Godzilla**

Matt’s not going to the wedding anymore

**From: Hugo Godzilla**

What did he do? Is Toru okay?

**To: Hugo Godzilla**

He’s… safe

If you and your fiancé don’t mind, I’d like to go

He said it’s already paid and I want to be with him right now…

**From: Hugo Godzilla**

Of course!!! You’re always welcome!

I don’t know what happened but no matter what Toru’s always happier when you’re around

**To: Hugo Godzilla**

Please, take care of him while I’m not there

**From: Hugo Godzilla**

We always do

* * *

_**24th July, 2014** _

Tooru woke up the next morning and it took him a minute to remember what had happened. He sat up on his bed and breathed anxiously while his eyes wandered the room. He calmed down a bit when he recognized it as his own and looked on his desk. His laptop opened and the screen showing two different sceneries. On the left, Hajime was snoring lightly which made Tooru giggled. On the right, Makki and Mattsun were cuddling on their sofa and had fallen asleep.

He stood there for a while, smiling stupidly at the images of his friends.

“I love you, guys.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NO IS NO.  
> If someone doesn't respect that GET OUT.  
> THAT'S NOT LOVE.
> 
> AND IMPORTANT: CONSENT IS NOT THE SAME AS ENTHUSIASM! 
> 
> Thanks for reading, sorry for all the angst, comment your thoughts <3


	5. After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after the incident with Matt.
> 
> Tooru was going to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to post Hugo's wedding (finally) but this scene became larger than I expected so I decided to post it separatedly.
> 
> Enjoy!

_**24th July, 2014** _

Tooru sat on his bed, taking deep breaths. He had decided he couldn’t stay all day in bed, watching his friends sleep, but he wasn’t ready yet to face the events of last night. Just the thought of it brought new tears to his eyes.

“Come on Tooru, you can do it, deep breaths, you’re stronger than this…”

He kept talking to himself. Inhaling, holding, then exhaling… He tried downplaying what had happened but he closed his eyes and his brain played him all the what ifs. He pressed the heels of his hands against them as if that would take those sceneries away.

He knew it could have been worse. He _knew_. Matt wasn’t that much stronger than him but he had manhandled him so easily… Tooru felt weak. He wasn’t a religious person, but he thanked all the gods that ever existed for shaking him out of the shock when Matt had freed his hands. If he hadn’t… 

He couldn’t take it anymore. He buried his face on the pillow and cried.

That’s how Hajime found it.

He had gone to bed after a long talk with Makki and Mattsun that consisted of an endless cycle of one of them blaming himself and the other two correcting him. Eventually, Makki had assured him they’d stay home with the computer on and he had fallen asleep.

He had woken up just a few hours later with a heavy knot in his stomach. He quickly sat up on his bed and took his laptop. When he saw his best friend curled upon himself and shaking, with the pillow covering his face, the knot became heavier.

“Tooru… Tooru, I’m here…”

He didn’t move. Hajime thought he hadn’t heard him and screamed.

“TOORU!”

That made him react, and Hajime thanked that Susan wasn’t home. He would have definitely woken her up and it was barely six a.m. in Irvine.

“Iwa-chan?”

It was barely a whisper, but Hajime would recognize the way Tooru’s lips formed his nickname everywhere.

“Hey there.”

He smiled at his best friend and he saw Tooru slowly sitting up on the bed and cleaning his eyes and nose with the corner of the pillow.

“Gross.” Both chuckled and Hajime’s heart skipped a beat.

“Shut up, Iwa-chan. It’s not worse than when I caught you nose-picking.”

“Yeah, you’re right.”

Tooru smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes.

“How are you?”

Hajime knew it was a stupid question but he thought that every question was stupid right then. What do you even ask your best friend whose boyfriend tried to… He couldn’t think it. A homicidal rage would take control of him and he needed to have a clear mind to help Tooru.

“Better now, with you.”

Hajime felt the warmth spreading through his chest and a small smile appeared on his face. They stayed there looking at each other, the brunet playing with his fingers. He was nervous, and Hajime didn’t miss the tears in his eyes. Tooru was about to start crying again, and he knew it was normal but he also knew Tooru needed a break. He had to distract him.

“Tooru, what do you say we woke Makki and Mattsun up?” There was a malicious smile on his face that he hoped would somehow cheer Tooru up.

It worked. His best friend copied his look and raised an eyebrow.

“What had you thought?”

“Scream his names.”

“Lovely idea, Hajime.”

They both grabbed their laptops and put the microphone close to his mouths.

“MAKKI!”

“MATTSUN!”

The aforementioned jumped from the sofa, startled. They immediately looked at his right, to the computer they had left on the armchair.

“I hate you. Issei, we’re no longer friends with them.”

The taller one rubbed his eyes and yawned.

“Fine with me.”

Twenty thousand kilometers away, their best friends were laughing and Hajime high-fived himself for taking Tooru’s mind away from last night.

Makki took his laptop and walked to their bedroom. He put it on his desk and looked at Tooru.

“Oikawa, how are you? Better?” That stopped the brunet laugh. He sighed.

“A bit. Thanks for last night.”

“Anytime. We leave you with Iwaizumi now. Night guys.”

“Good night!” Echoed their voices. 

Hajime saw Mattsun entering the room and waving at them before the screen blinked and showed him only Tooru. He seemed in a better mood.

Now, he had to take him out of bed.

“What do you say about having breakfast together?”

He looked at Hajime with doubt in his eyes.

“How are we gonna do that?”

“We take our laptops and go to the kitchen.”

Tooru looked at his bedroom door. There was nobody in his house but yet there was a pressure on his chest.

“There’s no one out there. And I’ll be with you. You’re safe.”

He took a deep breath and stood up, grabbing the laptop. His steps were slow as he paced the short walk from his bedroom to the kitchen. He placed the computer on the counter and saw Hajime smiling at him.

“Well done, Tooru. What do you wanna have for breakfast? I think I’m gonna have some orange juice and toasts.”

“I want a hot chocolate.”

Hajime's smile grew bigger. That had been Oikawa Tooru’s comforting drink since he was four years old. He didn’t even have to say anything. He watched as he opened his cupboards looking for the chocolate powder. His stomach roared after a few minutes of simply staring at the bare back of his best friend. Tooru turned and raised an eyebrow.

“I thought we were having breakfast together, Iwa-chan.” He teased and Hajime blushed.

“It’s six a.m. up here, give me a minute.” He faked a yawn to prove his point but went to grab some oranges to squeeze. 

Tooru giggled and turned back to his cupboard where he found an opened box of his favorite cookies. It was almost empty which made him pout. He sighed and put those still left on the tray and stepped on the pedal of the trash can to throw the package. He froze.

“Tooru?”

Hajime frowned. Tooru was smiling and the next second his face went pale and he didn’t know what had happened. He saw his best friend taking a deep breath before throwing the cookies box.

“Forgot I threw the shirt there last night.”

He took the laptop with one hand and the tray with the other and moved to his living room where he placed both items on his coffee table. Hajime watched him in silence as he sat on his couch and began eating as if nothing had happened. But Hajime knew better. He knew what those wide-opened eyes and that thin line on his mouth meant.

“Tooru, I’m here.” The boy looked at him. “He’s not gonna touch you again.”

The corners of his mouth went up a bit.

“Thanks.”

He kept eating and drinking his chocolate, watching Hajime making his own breakfast. When he finished, he got up, took the tray to the kitchen and went back to keep looking at Hajime. They stayed there quietly, comfortably, until there was a knock on Tooru’s door.

The boy jumped from the couch and turned his head. His eyes opened in shock and his breath became heavier and heavier.

“What was that, Tooru?” Hajime put his toast down and his heart began beating faster. He could see Tooru looking behind him and he worried. “Tooru, who’s there? Talk to me.”

“I-” Tooru turned his head to look at Hajime. “I don’t know, someone knocked.” His breathing was faltering and there were some tears on his eyes.

“Okay, listen to me. Grab a lamp or something and walk to the door.”

“What if-”

“It’s not him, Tooru. He doesn’t know where you live.”

“But what if he found out?” Tooru was crying at that point. “What if…?”

“Then you hit him in the head and ran to Lucia’s.”

Tooru nodded and took a deep breath. Slowly, he grabbed the lamp on his right and stood up. Hajime felt like his heart was going to break out of his chest. He saw Tooru walking to his door and cursed because the couch was blocking his view almost completely. He barely could hear Tooru saying something, and then the door opened and a blond head appeared. A bit taller than Tooru. Hajime’s heart stopped.

_Blond. Taller than him. Matt. It’s Matt._

Hajime panicked.

“Tooru!”

He watched as the two figures didn’t move. He grabbed his phone, looking for the numbers of CA San Juan team members, and he screamed again.

“TOORU!”

Finally, the shadows moved and a teary Tooru appeared on screen.

“Oh my god Hajime I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” He sat on the couch and a man he knew too well took the space besides him.

“Shit.” He exhaled a relief breath.

“Sorry Iwa-chan. I didn’t mean to scare you both.” Diego smiled shyly at them and ran a hand through his hair. “I woke up with a text from Hugo saying that Tooru and Matt broke up and that he may need help so I decided to come here” he looked at Tooru “and I called you to let you know but you didn’t answer.”

Tooru sighed.

“I haven’t checked my phone since last night.”

Diego and Hajime watched him walk to his room and return with the cellphone. He sat on the couch and stared at the black screen.

“I’m scared.” He whispered.

“It’s okay, Tooru, we’re here.” Hajime smiled at him, encouraging him.

“I can look at it, if you want.” Diego offered.

Tooru shook his head.

“No, I have to do it.”

He took a deep breath and unblocked his phone.

**From: Matt <3**

Fucking frigid

I can’t believe I waste all that time on you

No one’s gonna love you more than me, you know that?

You’re disgusting

Fuck you

Tooru stared at the messages and felt a claw oppressing his chest. He began sobbing again.

“What is it, Tooru?”

“It’s Matt.” Diego answered for him. He had looked at the messages over his shoulder. “Toru, he’s wrong, you know it, right?”

He hugged him and Tooru cried harder. Hajime bit his lip. He wanted to be there. He wanted to hold Tooru and tell him everything was gonna be okay.

“Diego, what did he say to him?”

“Just some” the Argentinian stopped for a minute, looking for the English word “nasty things that aren’t true, right Toru?”

The aforementioned hiccupped before answering.

“But, it’s the truth… I-I didn’t want him to touch me, I’m disgusting…”

“No, you’re not!” Diego tightened his embrace and Tooru hid his face on his shoulder. “None of it it’s true Toru. For starters, Iwa-chan and I love you more than that asshole!” He looked at Hajime for support.

“He’s right, Tooru. That wasn’t love… He told you that because… Well, because he want-”

“I know why he said that!” Tooru screamed and looked at him, still crying. “He said that because he knew that I’d believe him. He said that because he thought that way I’d spread my legs for him and you know what? I almost did! That’s the worst part!” He sobbed. “The worst part is I believed all of it, I let him treat me like shit because he said three words!”

Hajime nailed his hands on his thighs. He needed to hold him. He wanted to comfort him. He felt useless sitting there on his couch, staring at Tooru through the screen. At least Diego was there with him. He mentally thanked Hugo for texting him. Tooru had stopped screaming and Diego was running a hand through his hair to soothe him.

“Toru, what did he do?”

Diego felt the setter tensing in his arms and bit his tongue. Maybe he shouldn’t have asked that but seeing him up close he had realized the right side of his face was a bit swollen and his heart had shrunken. He had hit him. He needed to know what else that bastard had done to him.

With the corner of his eye, he saw Iwa-chan stiffen up.

“Tooru, you don’t need to tell us if you don’t want to. You already told me enough last night but" he glanced at Diego “I won’t be there until Friday and I think it’d be good for you to have someone to talk to meanwhile.”

The brunet looked at Hajime with fear in his eyes and nodded slightly. He broke the hug and sat straight up on the couch. He closed his eyes -he’d rather not see their worried and pitiful faces- and sighed.

“I convinced myself I wanted to sleep with him. I told myself “Tooru you're twenty, you have to do it, and he loves you” and all that shit. So, after I talked to you guys,” he briefly looked at Hajime while saying that and closed his eyes again. “I left my house and walked to the hotel. He was already there. As I got closer, I realized I wasn't ready, and I should've come back home” he sobbed “but I told myself this time he’d stop, he’d listen to me…” The tears fell from his eyes without stopping. “God I was such an idiot…” He hid his face behind his hands and his best friends said nothing, letting him cry his sorrows and ghosts away. "When I got there, he-” Tooru swallowed. “He was-” He hugged his knees.

Hajime could hear his own muffled cries and his heart breaking.

Diego didn’t know when he had started crying.

Tooru took deep breaths to calm himself down a bit so he could keep talking. He wanted to let it all out.

“He was in his underwear.” He finally said. “And he gripped my wrist, closed the door and threw me into the bed.” Another deep breath. “I-I don’t know how, but suddenly he was on top of me and… touching me. I-” He hiccupped. “I told him to stop.” His voice broke. “He didn’t listen and instead he pinned my hands above my head.” Tears fell again from his eyes. “He began unbuttoning my shirt and I tried to get rid of him but he’s bigger than me and I couldn’t move my hands… I’m sorry…”

“Tooru.” Hajime’s voice cracked. “This is not your fault. You don’t have to find an excuse or something…”

Tooru opened his eyes and saw his best friend crying with him. He tried to smile a bit for him.

“Thanks, Iwa-chan…” He swallowed and went on talking. “I managed to free one hand and pushed his chest. Then, he tried to hold my face and kissed me.” He blinked a couple times to erase from his mind the memory of their first kiss in Ushuaia that his brain had invoked. That had been a lie. “I wanted to get away but I couldn’t move so I bit him.” A shy smile appeared on his face. He was proud of that.

“Well done.”

His friends laughed and he looked besides him to watch Diego removing the tears from his face with the sleeve of his hoodie.

“Then, he slapped me and said that would teach me some manners.”

Their laughs stopped. Tooru knew Hajime too well to not recognize the fury in those green eyes, and by the way Diego’s knuckles were white gripping the edge of his sweater, he felt the same. He kept talking.

“I was shocked.” He took a deep breath. “He took advantage of that, let go my hands and finished unbuttoning my shirt.” He shivered remembering his wandering hands on his chest. “He asked me if I trusted him and I-I…” He opened his eyes and began crying again. “I thought of you Iwa-chan.” His gazes locked. “Of what you asked me two days ago. And I snapped. I pushed him off the bed and ran here, and then I called you…”

The silence in the room was only broken by the sobs of the three men, and it was like that for a while. Diego felt like an intruder. There was something in the way the childhood friends were looking at each other, hand pressed against the screen that made him turn his eyes away.

“I’m glad I could help you somehow. I miss you so much, Tooru, and I’m so sorry you had to go through that…”

“I miss you too, Iwa-chan… And don’t worry, I’m much better now…”

“It’s just…”

“I know…”

The three of them jumped suddenly when a loud sound coming from Diego’s pocket interrupted them. The boy blushed in shame for having broken the moment and reached for his phone.

“It’s Hugo.” He looked at Tooru. “What should I tell him?”

The aforementioned closed his eyes and frowned. The phone kept ringing while his brain worked full speed.

“I don’t wanna tell him.” He finally said. “I- Just tell him we broke up and that I’m not okay or something like that…”

Diego nodded and answered his phone, under the attentive look of the other two.

“Hey Hugo”

“Diego, are you with Tooru? He’s not answering my texts…”

He chuckled and looked at Tooru.

“He says you’re not answering his texts.”

“Oh, tell him I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, he says he’s sorry.”

Hajime and Tooru looked at Diego intensely as if that way they could find out what Hugo was saying.

“We’re just video calling Iwa-chan… They broke up… Yeah, he’s okay… I don’t know.” Diego looked at Tooru. “Would you mind the team coming to have lunch and watch a movie?”

Tooru breathed anxiously.

“The whole team?”

“Eeeeeh… Hugo, the whole team?... He says it’s just us, him, Héctor, Pedro and coach Blanco.”

Tooru’s eyes opened wide.

“Coach knows?!”

“Tooru, breathe…”

“I-I don’t know…” Diego stuttered. “Hugo, did you tell them something?” He turned to look at Tooru, again. “Apparently, they were all at a bar when Iwa-chan texted him…”

Tooru pouted and whined as he turned to look at his best friend.

“Iwa-chaaaan…”

He raised his eyebrow.

“Don’t expect me to be sorry for that.”

Tooru rolled his eyes and looked at Diego.

“Okay, they can come, but my fridge is empty.”

“Hugo, you can come, but bring beer and something to eat… Okay, see you.” He smiled at Tooru. “They’ll be here in a couple hours, what do you wanna do meanwhile.”

He bit the inside of his cheek, lost in thought.

“I’m gonna take a shower, get dressed and take out the trash.” He looked at Hajime. “Are you gonna stay there?”

“If you don’t mind…”

“I’ll keep him company.”

“Okay, be right back.” He stood up and went to the bathroom.

* * *

A couple hours later, everything was ready.

Diego and he had set the coffee table, with bowls full of chips and nuts -the only thing edible and appropriate in Tooru’s kitchen, and they were now watching a soap opera, waiting for their friends. Tooru’s eyes sometimes detoured to the laptop placed beside the TV that showed Hajime studying. He had muted it in order to not distract him. Tooru smiled when he saw him frowning.

The doorbell rang and he took a deep breath.

“They’re not gonna ask anything, Toru.”

“I know…”

He got up and opened his door. Suddenly, the air in his lungs disappeared due to the tight embrace of his shortest friend.

“Héctor… Héctor I can’t breathe…”

“ _Mierda,_ sorry Toru.” The libero let him go and enter the house to repeat the action with Diego.

“Don’t mind him, he’s been worried since last night. I woke up with fifteen missed calls and a bunch of texts asking if I knew something.” Tooru was going to retort but Hugo stopped him. “Don’t worry, we’ve told him you didn’t wanna talk about it.”

Tooru exhaled and calmed a bit. Then, he smiled at Hugo’s shirt.

“Godzilla.” He chuckled.

“Diego told me Iwa-chan was going to be with us in spirit and I couldn’t let my man down.”

“Your man?” He raised an eyebrow. “Careful Hugo, I might tell your soon-to-be husband.”

“Oh, I already talked to him. He says if it’s Iwa-chan he doesn’t mind. It’d spared him of countless hours of hearing me talking about “that giant dinosaur”.”

Tooru rolled his eyes and looked at the two other men standing on his doorway. His captain and his coach were staring at the right side of his face and he cursed softly.

“It’s not what it looks like. Mostly. I’m okay, safe and all that shit. Please come in and don’t ask anything.” He sighed exasperatedly.

Pedro and Blanco looked at each other and silently agreed to comply. His captain handed him a six pack of the best Argentinian beer.

“Put this on the fridge.” And patted his back.

Tooru turned to his coach who was visibly tense.

“I swear, I’m okay.”

Before he could react, Blanco was hugging him tightly.

“I promised your mom I’d take care of you.”

“I know, but this isn’t your fault.”

“I should’ve done something at the match.”

“I wouldn’t have listened to you. I didn’t listen to anyone…” his voice cracked.

Blanco broke the hug, putting both his hands on Tooru’s shoulders and looking at him fiercely. His eyes were filled with tears.

“I promise to you we won’t let it happen again.”

“Exactly! From now on Toru we’ll have to approve every man you date!” Héctor smacked his back and Tooru laughed.

He closed the door while his friends scattered around the room, sitting on the couch and on the floor, and went to the kitchen to put the beer to cool. When he went back, he leaned on the wall and took in the sight of his Argentinian family in front of him.

Pedro and Blanco discussing something on the captain’s phone. Diego and Héctor fighting for the remote on the floor. And finally, Hugo, taking selfies of Iwa-chan and him, the former alien to that. He shook his head smiling and walked to them, sitting in the middle of the couch.

* * *

It was almost midnight when they all left, he went to his room and laid on his bed, grabbed his phone and proceeded to erase everything related to Matt. His pictures, his texts, his phone number… 

When he finished, he stayed a bit looking at his wallpaper. It was a selfie of him and Hajime laying down on the grass in front of the Griffith Observatory, laughing and looking at each other. He smiled at the memory.

He was going to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you don't get lost with the OCs, if so please let me know!
> 
> I'm beginning to ship Diego x Tooru and I don't know how to stop. I mean, Diego has a girlfriend and I love her and she'll appear eventually but.... they're too cute.
> 
> Hope you liked it! Thanks for reading, comment your thoughts <3


	6. The Wedding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You already know what's coming.
> 
> Enjoy Hugo and Lucio's wedding!
> 
> (and A LOT of Iwaoi fluff)

_**3rd August, 2014** _

Hajime arrived at the Domingo Faustino Sarmiento airport on Friday morning after over thirty hours without sleeping. His eyes kept closing and opening during the entire taxi ride to Oikawa’s flat. Usually, his friend picked him up and they took the cab together but he had texted him Lucia needed him to fix something so they’d meet there.

They had been having breakfast together the whole week and every time both were at home, they’d video call. It was summer -winter in Argentina- and he had decided to stay at Irvine. In September he would start his last year and he’d rather begin studying so he could blend his internship with Ushijima’s dad and college easier. Tooru kept mocking him for being so responsible each time he accepted the call and the books were displayed on his desk, but Hajime could see the relief in his eyes. If he’d been in Japan, he may not have been able to attend the wedding. He knew Tooru was getting better but he also knew he was going to be on edge tomorrow, just in case a certain asshole decided to appear. He could feel his fingertips vibrating from the need to hug him tight.

Hajime got out of the cab and thanked his driver, tipping him the few Argentine Pesos he still had from his last visit. He bent over to caress a black cat and grabbed his bags. When he got to the front of the stairs he sighed. Of course, Oikawa would live on the fourth floor of a building without an elevator. Four floors were nothing for him but Hajime was tired, sleepless, and carried a heavy suitcase -because the bastard had to move to the South Hemisphere where there are freezing temperatures in august. Great-.

When he got to the third floor, he heard a scream.

“IWA-CHAN!” and suddenly he found himself wrapped in the long limbs of his friend and tottering until his back found the wall.

“Fuck. Damn you Shittykawa. I shouldn’t have texted you.”

“Oh, shut up, you’ve loved it.” Tooru got down to the ground and smiled at him fondly. “I’ve missed you.”

Hajime couldn’t do anything but blush slightly before his bluntness. He coughed.

“Yeah, miss you too.” Tooru rolled his eyes.

“As cold as always, Iwa-chan. Come on, give me that.” He leaned forward and grabbed the suitcase. “I know you’re tired so just go to bed, okay? I promise I won’t make too much noise. If you need anything-”

Suddenly, Hajime hugged him from behind, resting his chin on his shoulder.

“Lie down with me for a bit?”

That startled Tooru who dropped the keys. He uncrossed Hajime’s arms and reached down quickly to take them and opened the door without turning so his best friend couldn’t see the red tainting his cheeks.

“Would you like that?” He whispered.

“I’d love it.”

Tooru bit his lip and turned away so Hajime could enter the apartment. The boy put his backpack on the table and removed his suitcase from Tooru’s hand, brushing their fingers a little longer than necessary. They looked at each other and smiled upon seeing them both flushed. The shorter one walked to the bedroom and Tooru stayed there a bit trying to calm his beating heart. He took a deep breath and followed him. Iwa was sitting on the edge taking off his shoes and Tooru passed by him to jump to the bed and buried his face on the pillow. A few seconds later, Hajime lied down beside him.

“Come here.”

His voice was so soft that Tooru almost missed it. 

He turned his head to look at him and saw Hajime’s eyes closed and his hand extended towards him. Tooru moved a bit closer to hold it. Then, Hajime swiftly closed the distance between them. He put his hand on Tooru’s nape, slightly caressing his hair, and brought him to his chest, entwining his legs at the same time. Tooru gasped, surprised and blushed. He wasn’t used to his best friend being that affectionate.

“Finally.” Hajime barely whispered. “Do you know how much I needed to do this? To be here like this with you?”

Tooru mentally thanked that he couldn’t see his face at that moment. He was a tomato.

“I-I didn’t know…”

“I’ve been going crazy this week. Watching you cleaning the tears in your eyes when you thought I couldn’t see you.” He hugged him tighter. “I’m sorry… I’m so sorry, Tooru, I should’ve done something more, should’ve paid more attention, should’ve taken a plane and broke his nose too, should’ve come here for the summer with you, should’ve-”

His words were cut off by a light pressure on his lips. He opened his eyes and saw Tooru’s index finger over his mouth. The boy gave him a sad smile before slightly rubbing his bottom lip and removing his hand.

“It wasn’t your fault. Neither my fault. Only his. Please, Iwa-chan, stop torturing yourself…”

Hajime hid his face in the brunet’s hair as the first tears fell from his eyes.

“I wish I could swear to you that I’m okay.” Hajime’s fists grabbed his shirt tighter and Tooru smiled. “It’s still soon, but I’ll be fine, and you know why? Because I have you, and Makki and Mattsun, and my team, and mum, onee-san and Takeru -even though they don’t know-. I’ll be fine eventually, thanks to all of you.” Tooru ran his hand through his back, soothing him. “Now go to sleep, I’m not going anywhere.”

Hajime still sobbed for a while before dozing off with Tooru in his arms.

* * *

_**4th August, 2014** _

Tooru was nervous. His fingers wouldn’t stop shaking as he buttoned his shirt. He took deep short breaths to calm himself and nodded to his own reflection to encourage himself.

_Come on, Tooru. You can do it._

“Need some help over there?”

Tooru looked over his shoulder and saw his best friend observing him with a worried look. He smiled, trying to sound sure.

“I’m all good, Iwa-chan.”

But _of course,_ his best friend knew him better, he had always seen through all his facades. He rolled his eyes and walked to the bathroom. Hajime positioned himself between Tooru and the mirror and grabbed the rim of the shirt.

“Let me.” A shiver ran through his body when his fingers began working and Tooru gulped, unable to withdraw his eyes from the adorable frown on the other’s face. When it was finished, Hajime looked up. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

Tooru forced his mouth to form the biggest smile he could.

“Perfect, Iwa-chan. Just a bit nervous.”

“He’s not gonna be there.” Tooru’s smile crooked a bit.

“I-I know.”

“And if he has the nerve to appear, well…”

Hajime’s mouth formed a sly smile and his eyes filled with anger. Tooru snorted.

“You’d ruin Hugo’s wedding.”

“Oh, I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t mind. It’d be for a good cause.”

They both laughed at the certainty of that statement. The threat of a violent dispute shouldn’t calm Tooru but it did. Hajime patted his shoulder and left the bathroom.

“Now hurry up. Diego said they’d pick us up in one hour, and I need to shower.”

“I know, I know, just give me five minutes.”

“Yeah, sure.” Hajime scoffed.

Tooru turned to keep bickering him but stopped when he saw his best friend. Hajime had removed his tank top and now was standing shirtless a mere couple steps from him. He turned again to stare at the mirror so he couldn’t see his face blushing. It had been a while since he had seen his body and even if he didn’t play volley regularly, it was obvious he had been hitting the gym. He focused on doing the knot of the tie and took a deep breath. Only when he considered the color of his cheeks had returned almost to their usual one, he dared to turn around. His eyes went wide open. Hajime was sitting on the bed _in his underwear_ , checking his phone and he felt the blood returning to his face. Tooru did the only thing he could think of: run away.

“I-I’ll be in the living room.”

He left so quickly Hajime couldn’t even react.

_Oikawa Tooru, what was that?! It’s just Iwa-chan! Keep your shit together!_

He sat on his couch and stared at his TV, trying to forget his best friend showering five meters away from him and the tightness of his pants.

* * *

The wedding ceremony and reception took place at Lucio’s family farm. Tooru met Hugo’s fiancé almost two years ago in a barbecue with the team and their families and they got along right away. Mostly because he was an astrophysicist working for the CONAE (the Argentinean equivalent of JAXA) with the patience of a saint. Tooru’s obsession with anything space related was unlimited and he had bombed Lucio with questions the minute he had divulged his occupation. The eldest had adopted him right there and then.

The drive to the farm had been a comfortable one. Tooru sat on the passenger seat while Diego was driving and Hajime and Andrea were talking in the back seats. The couple had arrived fifteen minutes earlier which incited Tooru to mess with his best friend.

_“Hajime you’re late, you better not insult me for that never again!”_

_“Shut up Shittykawa I wouldn’t be late if you hadn’t taken twenty minutes to style your hair!”_

When they got to the wedding location, their mouths formed a silent “O”. It had snowed lightly the day before and the floor was covered with a thin layer of white. There were white lanterns adorning the sides of the path that led to the gigantic tents they had set up for the occasion. Tooru walked beside Hajime, his eyes shining with excitement taking in the view, unaware of the fond smile the boy was sending him.

Approaching the entrance arch, they met Héctor who ran to hug Hajime. He lifted him in the air and spinned them both which made Hajime laugh out loud.

“Missed you too, Héctor.”

He dropped him to the floor and hugged him tighter.

“I’m really glad you’re here with him. He’s always happier around you.”

Hajime didn’t know if the others had heard the whispered sentence to his ear. He looked over Héctor’s shoulder and saw the other three talking, unaware of it.

“Yeah, me too.”

They broke the hug with a few pats on each other’s backs and turned to their friends. Andrea opened his arms laughing and begging Héctor for the same treatment which the libero was more than happy to provide. Hajime’s heart melted seeing all the affection around them and the sparkles on Tooru’s eyes.

They walked into the crowded tent and met Pedro with his wife. Diego said hello before leaving to find them some decent seats.

“I can’t believe this day has finally arrived.” Their captain stated and they all laughed.

“How long have they been planning it?” Andrea asked.

“Almost two years. It was really hard to choose a date, with the schedule of both.”

Hajime knew that. Tooru had told him everything about the lives of his teammates long ago. Lucio lived in Buenos Aires but due to his job he had to travel a lot, and you also have to add the trips Hugo had to make around Argentina for matches with the CA San Juan. Hajime thought to himself they must truly love each other to make it work.

From one of the middle rows he saw Diego waving at them and the group moved to their seats and greeted the rest of the team in adjacent rows. There were still fifteen minutes left for the ceremony to begin so he decided to admire the venue. The theme had been White, probably anticipating the snow. Strips of glittering snowflakes fell from the ceiling. It somehow reminded him of the shining star-shaped stickers they glued to Tooru’s bedroom ceiling when they were kids. He leaned towards him to point it out but stopped midway.

Tooru was beside him crumpling and tearing the wedding pamphlet without realizing, eyes fixed on the nape of the person sitting in front of him and mouth forming a tense line.

“Hey.” The brunet blinked and looked at him. Hajime’s heart ached when he saw the fear in those eyes. “Everything’s gonna be fine. I’m here.”

Tooru breathed deeply and his mouth formed a small smile.

“Thanks, Iwa-chan.”

Hajime took his hand and squeezed it lightly. He didn’t let it go until the music began, indicating the start of the ceremony.

They stood up to see the grooms enter. First it was Lucio, accompanied by his parents, and then Hugo with his aunt. Although Hugo didn’t let anyone call her “his aunt” because for him she was her mum. His parents had kicked him out when he came out, his ex-mother’s little sister the one who had taken care of him after that.

It was a charming ceremony and Hajime’s eyes watered during Hugo’s speech. He looked beside him and saw Tooru crying and smiling, asking Andrea for a tissue.

“Snottykawa.” He scoffed.

“You’re an emotionless rock, Hajime.” Tooru laughed between sobs.

When the grooms kissed, everybody clapped and cheered and Tooru whistled as loud as he could. He couldn’t stop looking at the newlyweds. They were being congratulated by their families and friends. Tooru had never seen Hugo smiling brighter. When it was their turn, he hugged his teammate tightly.

“I’m so happy for you.”

The man simply laughed and hugged him back. Then, Tooru stepped back and Hajime took his place.

“Iwa-chan my man! I’m married!”

“You know in Japan you could’ve married Godzilla?”

Lucio and Tooru shook their heads and looked at each other.

“Congratulations. And don’t worry, he’s lying, you can’t marry that monster.”

“Thank god, knowing my husband he would’ve filed for divorce and done it.”

They both laughed and Lucio looked at Hugo fondly.

“I can’t believe I can call him _my husband_ yet.”

“Well, you’ve been married for just twenty minutes, you have all your life to get used to it.”

Finally, the Godzilla lovers stopped hugging and Tooru and Hajime left the tent and walked to the bigger one, where the reception was going to take place, and looked at the board in the entrance for their table number. Hajime walked in front of him dodging guests and waiters until they got to their seats. The CA San Juan occupied five tables of ten -Hugo had invited literally everyone in the team and the board and who worked at the stadium Aldo Cantoni-. He waved and muttered a hello at the janitor two tables away and he waved back smiling. Before he turned again, Tooru noticed the gaze he turned towards Iwa and the question on his face and made a mental note to talk to and thank him.

  
His attention turned back to his own table where Diego had just made a joke he missed and that everyone liked. He looked at Hajime sitting beside him, covering his face with one hand and laughing out loud. His heart skipped a beat, probably because it had been a while since he had heard his best friend’s laughing like that, or so he told himself. The voices of his friends reached his ears muffled, his mind busy focusing on Hajime and the memory of their hands together right before the ceremony. He had rubbed his thumb over his palm to calm him down and Tooru’s skin had _burnt_. He wanted to feel that again so he slowly moved his left hand and gently pulled his shirt, at a height the others couldn’t see what he was doing. Hajime looked down and then up at him and Tooru just smiled and opened his hand. The corners of his mouth went up when he understood what Tooru meant. He took his hand in his own and both went back to pay attention to the table. Neither of them was aware of the blush in the other’s face.

It was only when the waiters brought the food that they looked at each other again. Tooru smiled at him and dropped his hand to begin eating. He stayed there a few seconds feeling the emptiness before shaking his head and joined him. 

The reception went smoothly. Hajime thought he hadn’t eaten so much meat in his life. He was talking to Héctor about the recent trip he had made to San Diego when Lucio proposed a toast to his husband. Then, everybody began chanting asking for the couple to kiss which they comply, both flushed and smiling. When Hajime saw the chef bringing out the cake his eyes went wide open and he just stared at his plate unaware of Tooru looking at him with a raised eyebrow and a grin, amused.

“What happens, Iwa-chan? It’s a simple vanilla cake, nothing to be afraid of.”

“I feel like if I eat this, I’m gonna explode.” His best friend burst out laughing.

“Forgot you’re not used to Argentine yet, you’ll just have to visit me more often.”

He winked and took Hajime’s dish to eat his piece of cake too.

When they all had finished, the guests moved to the dance floor where the grooms were ready to perform his first dance as husband and husband. They had chosen a typical tango and Tooru looked at them in awe. Next to him he could hear Diego telling Andrea _who would have thought Hugo could move like that_ which made him smile. Lucio ended the dance bending Hugo backwards and extending his arm above his head in an exaggerated posture that made everybody clap and laugh.

“Alright everybody! Are you ready to partyyyyy?!” The DJ announced before playing the selected playlist.

Tooru winced at the cringe words and turned to Iwa who was already turning to him.

“Do you want some shots? I need to forget what I’ve just heard.”

“Yes, _please_.” 

They laughed and walked to the bar who was getting crowder and crowder each passing second. Hajime manages to get to the front and order four tequila shots and two gintonics.

“My my Iwa-chan, you’re trying to get me drunk or something?” Tooru grinned and his friend simply shrugged.

“Just being practical, it’s an open bar, it’s not gonna be easy to order later on.”

They took their shots, grabbed his cup and moved to where their friends were already dancing. Hajime had never been a fan of parties but his years in California had taught him a couple of things. He let his body move to the rhythm of a song that sounded typical Argentinean while drinking. He looked around him and saw Héctor and Diego throwing Andrea up while the girl screamed in panic, but began laughing when they caught her. Beside him, Tooru finished his drink and Hajime frowned.

“Already?”

“I’ll go get another; do I bring you something?”

“No, I’m okay.”

He followed Tooru’s figure as he disappeared into the crowd.

He returned with two glasses for himself. _Just being practical, Iwa-chan_ , had told him.

They kept dancing and drinking for a while until Tooru said he was tired.

“I think I’m gonna sit for a bit.”

“I’ll go with you.”

On their way to the table they passed by the photocall and Tooru grabbed Hajime’s arm.

“Let’s take a picture!”

He was dragging them to the trunk where the costumes were before he could retort. He handed him a chef’s hat and a clown’s nose and he picked for himself a purple feather boa and gigantic red glasses. Hajime really wanted to refuse but excited Tooru had always been one weakness of his. He walked in front of the camera and stood still beside him. Tooru rolled his eyes and placed his arm over his shoulders.

“Smile, Iwa-chan!”

He blushed and flashed the camera a crooked smile while Tooru winked and sticked out his tongue. After a few minutes he took the polaroid and examined it. Tooru was as handsome as always and Hajime’s face was red. That only made him blushed harder. He saved it in his wallet and turned to look at Tooru who was smiling brightly at him.

“This was fun!”

“Weren't you tired?”

“Right, yeah, let’s sit over there, next to the candy table!”

They walked to the bench Tooru had pointed out and sat. Eventually, a slow song came in and the guests began dancing in couples. Tooru looked at them with his eyes sparkling with a bit of jealousy, and Hajime noticed. He always did. He cleared his throat and extended his hand. His best friend locked his big brown eyes on his and Hajime suddenly felt so vulnerable he stuttered.

“Do you… Would you… Can I have this dance?”

Tooru simply smiled and took his hand.

Hajime led them to the dance floor and once there he found himself lost. He didn’t know what to do. Was he supposed to lead? _How_ do you lead? Should he put his hand on his shoulder? Hip? Waist? He was panicking.

“Hajime…”

Tooru had said his name so softly he couldn’t do anything but look at him. His mouth was still forming that small smile and, in his eyes, Hajime only saw affection. He stepped forward, intertwining the fingers of their holding hands at the same time. With his free one, he took Hajime’s and placed it on his waist, and then rested his own on his shoulder. They began moving though he didn’t know what he was doing.

Hajime couldn’t stop staring at him the whole time. Tooru’s lips were slightly parted and his cheeks, slightly red. They were real close, he thought. Barely an inch between their bodies that suddenly Tooru closed. He took a small step forward and bent down his head a bit to press their foreheads together, always looking at Hajime. Hajime always looking at him. It was brief, but he saw the brunet looking down at his mouth and his heart skipped a beat. Tooru’s smile grew bigger and whispered.

“You’re blushing, Hajime…”

“So are you, Tooru…”

Their noses brushed and his heart skipped another beat. He moved the hand that was holding Tooru’s, breaking the grip and placing it in his waist. Tooru got the message and traveled his free one up his arm until it rested on his shoulder. Then, both closed his eyes, letting the music embrace them.

When the song ended, it took them a minute to step back.

* * *

At one point during the night, Pedro approached Blanco and both looked at Tooru and Hajime dancing with a cup in one hand and the other holding each other as if they were afraid the other was going to disappear if they stopped touching even for one second.

“Do you think they know?”

The coach sighed.

“Do you think this last month would’ve happened if they knew?”

* * *

They stumbled upon themselves opening the door. Tooru brought one finger to his mouth to indicate Hajime to keep quiet. The boy tottered to the table and Tooru slammed his door behind him. Hajime giggled at his best friend screech.

“Lucia’s gonna kill us tomorrow.”

His words sounded slurred and almost incomprehensible. Hajime had lost count of the drinks his friend had had. He just nodded lazily and walked to the sofa where he sank. He saw Tooru zigzagged to his bedroom and after a few minutes he dropped himself beside him.

“Hajime, I think my apartment is spinning.”

The aforementioned smirked.

“Fuck, Shittykawa, you’ve never drunk this much.”

The brunet didn’t answer. He didn’t make any sound and Hajime looked at him expecting to find him already asleep, but instead, his best friend’s face was covered with tears that silently had fallen. He frowned and moved closer to hug him.

“Hey, Tooru, what’s wrong? You’ve always been an emotional drunkard but you’ve never-”

“I couldn’t stop thinking about him.” Hajime stiffened involuntarily and rage began to grow inside him. Tooru hiccupped a bit before going on. “I-I couldn’t stop imagining how this day would’ve been with Matt.”

“Tooru…”

“It would’ve been awful. I would’ve had to control everything I’d say or do because anything could’ve made him explode.” He sighed. “And we were dancing and I was having fun but I thought he would’ve forbidden me dancing and I snapped. I needed to forget about him, to stop thinking… I knew I could drink with you there, that you’d take care of me…”

“I always would.”

Tooru giggled and looked at him, amused. He had stopped crying but his cheeks were still marked by the furrow of his tears.

“My knight in shining armor.” He sing-songed and Hajime’s heart stopped.

“Yeah.” He smiled fondly at him. “That’s me.”

Tooru buried his face on the crook of his neck and whispered.

“Do you think I’ll get married one day?” The unexpected question made Hajime babbled but before forming something coherent Tooru kept going. “It’s just, when they were exchanging vows… I wanted to be in their place. I wish I could…Must be nice.”

Hajime gently caressed his cheek to remove a few teardrops and Tooru turned to look at him.

“You will.” He smiled at the brunet trying to reassure him and then smirked “Or have you given up on men already?”

He knew it was the wrong thing to say when Tooru’s eyes watered.

“What’s wrong with me, Iwa-chan? It’s like I only attract assholes… Or maybe all men are assholes…”

“I’m not an asshole.”

He didn’t know what forced him to say that but his heart ached seeing him in pain. He needed him to know that he would never hurt him, that he’d always be there for him, to take care of him, to hold him and protect him. Shit. Tooru was drunk but Hajime wasn’t falling short. He realized he had been staring at his lips with a blank mind and blushed. He raised his sight to Tooru’s eyes only to find him focusing on his mouth. The brunet looked up and whispered.

“No, you’re not.”

  
“ _Finally,_ ” screamed a voice inside their minds when they kissed for the first time.

It was gentle at first. Hajime was surprised by the absence of doubt in his mind, as if he had been kissing Tooru for all his life. He raised his right hand to his nape and tilted his head to deepen the kiss. Tooru answered his actions by opening his mouth and letting their tongues encounter each other which drew out a low hum from Hajime’s chest that sent a shiver down Tooru’s body. His fists clamped on his shirt. They tasted like alcohol. A mix of wine, tequila and gin, but they couldn’t care less. Both opened his eyes lazily just to find his own lust reflected in the other. Hajime charged again against his mouth harder this time and Tooru whimpered.

Hajime felt him moving on the couch, shifting his position, and he let him be, until a leg crossed his lap and whatever remained of his reason told him they had to stop. He broke the kiss and dropped his hands to Tooru’s waist to gently push him away. The boy grabbed his face and kissed him again. This time, Hajime felt some wet spots on his face and realized Tooru was crying.

“Tooru…”

The brunet got on top of his lap and Hajime mentally cursed. His tongue kept exploring his mouth and Hajime’s mind went blank. His hands tightened the grip on his waist and his teeth bit his bottom lip. A new drop on his cheek brought him back to reality. He softly grabbed Tooru’s wrists and placed them on his shoulders. Then, he tilted his head to break the contact and forced him to look at him.

“Tooru, what’s wrong?”

His best friend looked at him and he gulped. He was sobbing, and Hajime felt something piercing his chest at the thought that he was to blame. He raised one of his hands to caress Tooru’s cheek with his thumb. He felt his own eyes filling with tears.

“Tooru, tell me what’s wrong. Is it something I’ve done?”

“Please… Just let’s keep going…”

Tooru leaned forward and pressed a light kiss over his mouth. Then, he took Hajime’s hands and placed them on his chest, over his heart. Hajime could feel it was beating really fast. He looked at Tooru’s wrecked face and whispered, trying one last time to clear the minds of the two.

“Tooru, stop. We’re drunk…”

“ _Please_ ” Tooru insisted. “Touch me…” His hands were shaking. “Please, Iwa-chan… I don’t want to think of his hands every time I get dressed.”

The pain and brokenness in his voice broke his heart. He knew he shouldn’t do it. He knew Tooru was drunk, and hurt, and they’d both regret it in the morning. But crying Tooru was another one of his weaknesses. Truth be told, Oikawa Tooru had always been his biggest weakness. He couldn’t say no to him. That’s why he nodded and leaned forward to kiss him.

Slowly - _oh, so slowly_ -, trying to convey all the care he felt for him, one by one he began to undo the buttons of the shirt that he himself had buttoned that same morning. With each one, a kiss; with each piece of exposed skin, a caress. Tooru had stopped crying and had his eyes closed and his hands resting on Hajime’s shoulders, feeling himself healing with each touch. When the last button popped, their lips parted. Tooru opened his eyes and looked at his best friend, focusing on his swollen lips and the red that tainted his cheeks. He didn’t look away for a moment during the time that Hajime was sliding his shirt down his shoulders and arms. When he removed his shirt, he placed his hands on his shoulders while Hajime grabbed his hips. They stared at each other for a while until their minds synchronized and both leaned forward at the same time to kiss again.

There was hunger in the way their mouths collided but also something different that Hajime was too scared to name. He devoted his fingerprints to map every inch of naked skin, from his hips to his shoulder blades, pressing on each lump of his spine, and down the front, blushing a bit when Tooru’s body squirmed under his touch. He finished his wander where it began. With a last light kiss he leaned back and opened his eyes.

Tooru stared intently at him from above before lowering his eyes to his chest and bit his lip. His hands roamed over his shirt delicately.

“May I… Iwa-chan…?”

“Yes, Tooru, _please_.” He whined and his hands ran to cup Tooru’s face to kiss him again.

Tooru mimicked his actions. He undid all the buttons while showering his face with soft kisses and his body with gentle touches. Hajime moved a bit forward to help him remove it and when it was done Tooru rested his hands on his hip bones. They stared at each other, their faces red and their breathing heavy with desire.

Their lips met again and both guys whimpered at the feeling of their bare chests brushing. Tooru’s hands grabbed his hips harder, drawing out a low growl from Hajime’s throat that made him shiver. He dared himself to lower his left hand to the button of his friend’s pants but Hajime stopped him.

“Tooru…”

“Iwa-chan, I want… Don’t you want to…?” He whispered against his mouth.

Their faces were millimeters away and he could see the _want_ perfectly in those green eyes. Hajime grunted.

“Trust me, I want to. God, I want it so badly…” He grabbed his neck and yanked him forward to kiss him passionately which made Tooru moan and claw his nails on his skin. “But we’re drunk… We’re drunk… Shit, we’re drunk…” He looked down and snorted. “We’d regret it tomorrow, Toor-”

“I won’t.”

Hajime raised his eyes at the sheer certainty of that statement. His eyes were full of determination and more feelings that scared him shitless.

_“He’s drunk”_ his mind repeated, and Hajime gulped.

“Yes, you…”

“ _No_. I’d never regret it… with you…”

Tooru leaned forward and their lips brushed softly. Hajime mentally cursed and gently pushed him away just a little bit to look at him properly. His cheeks still stained with the furrow of tears, his heavy lids closing his eyes and the smell of alcohol that surrounded them were what it took for Hajime to sigh and, hugging him, lay them both on the couch. Tooru looked up at him confused but he simply caressed his cheek with his thumb.

“Go to sleep, Tooru.”

The boy didn’t think twice. He closed his eyes and quickly fell asleep. Hajime smiled at him, kissed his head and followed him to Morpheo’s arms.

* * *

_**5th August, 2014** _

When he woke up, the moon had given way to the sun that was creeping through the windows of the living room. He closed his eyes tightly and whined. His head was killing him. They should've lowered the blinds the night before -or, even better, sleep on the bed- but they’ve been _busy_. That thought brought him back to reality, where a heavy Tooru lied over him. 

_“Touch me. Please, Iwa-chan…”_

His breathing was deep and steady, so he assumed he was still asleep. He slowly opened his eyes and looked down to his chest where he found a tangle of brown hair. He raised his right hand and ran it through his scalp until Tooru purred and his heart stopped.

“‘orning…”

Hajime laughed softly and ruffled his hair.

“Good morning.”

Tooru moved a little on top until he could look at him.

“This is the worst hangover ever.”

Then he got up and walked away, leaving Hajime staring at the ceiling in shock. Did he do something wrong? Had Tooru remembered last night and regretted it? He was about to call for him when Tooru entered his sight again, carrying two glasses of water and a box of pills.

“Come on Iwa-chan, sit up and take this.” He said while handing him an ibuprofen and a glass.

He blinked a couple times and obeyed. He put the pill in his mouth and swallowed it with the help of the water while Tooru stood there doing the same. Before he could react or say something, Tooru had tackled him to the sofa. His heart skipped a beat. Their legs were intertwined and his arms were drawn over his chest.

“What time does your flight leave?”

His voice was soft and with a trace of sadness that made Hajime’s heart crack.

“After lunch, at five. I should leave for the airport at three.” He turned his head to look at the clock on the wall. “We have two hours…”

Tooru sighed.

“Fine…”

They just laid there, cuddling, Hajime’s hand running over Tooru’s back. And for a while, no one said nothing, and Hajime was going crazy. He knew they should talk about last night, but at the same time he felt like there was nothing much left to say. His brain finally resolved that he only needed two answers.

“Tooru… Do you remember something from last night?”

“I remember everything, Hajime.”

Silence.

“Did you mean it?”

At that question, Tooru simply raised his head and leaned forward to press a gentle kiss on his lips. Then, turned to his previous position on his chest and whispered: 

“Yes.”

Hajime took a deep breath, trying to calm his heart that beat like a racing car. He decided not to overthink it and closed his eyes, enjoying Tooru’s weight on top of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My whole mood writing this: JUST KISS ALREADY GODDAMM IT!
> 
> I wrote the last scene listening to River Flows In You on repeat, in case someone would like to get into the mood completely. Here's the playlist if you're interested! [Iwaoi AU](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2YCTNGQqGY1zHV5AaWkmPb?si=Lcphm6uaQsCtZBpaqpOzvA)
> 
> And surprise! Click here if you want to see Oikawa's [apartment](https://twitter.com/makemeadrink_13/status/1303761457650323456) (the last tweet of the thread)


	7. From Irvine with love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I can't believe you're gonna be here for two weeks." Tooru whispered in his ear.  
> "Well, you're pretty convincing."
> 
> Almost five months after the wedding, Hajime visits Tooru for Christmas.
> 
> cw: first scene nsfw, masturbation

_**13th August, 2014** _

Hajime stood in front of his mirror in Irvine, wet and with a towel on his hips. He was staring at his own reflection, lips pressed together in a thin line and eyes filled with fear. He took a deep breath and spoke up:

“He's your best friend. Nothing more.” Another breath. “He just needed your help. Nothing more.” He swallowed to try and remove the knot in his stomach. He opened the tap and splashed some cold water on his face. He grabbed the sink until his knuckles turned white.

“Just your friend. Shittykawa. Just a favor. Nothing more. It meant nothing more.”

He looked down and stared at his boner with all the hate he could.

“Shit.”

Since he came back from San Juan, not a day had passed without getting hard at the memory of Tooru on top of him. And not a day had passed without him feeling horrible. _Disgusting_. Tooru had been drunk, hurt, vulnerable. Hajime felt like he was taking advantage of him. But then he remembered those words. _I’d never regret it with you_. And his determination. And his reassurance in the morning, preceded by a soft kiss.

He rolled his head back, grabbed his hair and pulled, letting out a tired sighed.

“He’s just your friend dumbass. You were drunk. It meant nothing.”

“ _Iwa-chan, I want… Don’t you want to…?_ ”

He cursed mentally. Usually, a cold shower was enough to make it go away, but that day it seemed like it had reached its limit. He couldn’t take it anymore. Tooru’s weight on his lap, his legs at his sides, encaging him, his chiseled bare chest shivering under his touch, his hands grabbing his shoulders, his eyes with those long eyelashes staring at him… but above all, that damn inviting mouth, his wet lips, his curious tongue, the sounds coming out of his throat, and he kept wondering which ones he would do when aroused and bouncing on his cock. He had tried so hard to fight those thoughts the last couple days but he wasn’t strong enough. 

He sighed and stared at his reflection.

“You’re the worst friend ever, Hajime.”

He walked to sit on his bed, took off the towel and began caressing himself.

_Ten thousand kilometers from there, Tooru laid on his bed naked and panting, with a fist pumping his cock and unable to control the moans that came out of his mouth in the form of his friend's name._

_He bit his bottom lip. He felt guilty. His best friend had only tried to help him and now here he was masturbating to the memory of his hands touching him. If he closed his eyes hard, he could picture Hajime beside him replacing his own hand. He could imagine him kissing his neck and biting his earlobe, whispering all kinds of things, from praises to the dirtiest orders._

_A guttural moan cut his thoughts. He was going too fast. He slowed down his strokes and took a deep breath._

_“Tooru, you’ve got nowhere to be, and you’ve been doing this a whole week, you’re already a terrible friend. Just enjoy it.”_

_He reached for the lube on his nightstand and applied a generous quantity on his fingers. He dropped the bottle on the bed and spread his legs more while digging his heels on the sheets. He circled his index finger around his rim, before pushing in._

_“Hajime…”_

“Tooru…” He grunted.

Hajime was laying down on his bed, with his eyes closed so hard he could see white spots. Over the years he found out that way he could fantasize easier. Stupid? Maybe, but it worked for him. He could see Tooru with total clarity between his legs, pumping his cock and looking at him with the desire burning in his eyes while licking his lips. How would his tongue feel down there? He shook his head trying to ignore those thoughts. Tooru -no, Hajime. Tooru wasn’t there- ran his thumb over his tip and he moaned. He felt the pressure building in his groin and knew the climax wasn’t too far away.

_He had felt Hajime’s hard-on that night, and if he had been braver, he’d had tried to move -although he was certain Hajime would have stopped him-. It was all he could think about right then, as two fingers stretched him open and his right hand stroked his dick at a steady pace. He bit his lip while trying to reach deeper inside him, imagining how good for sure Hajime would feel hammering into him. He increased the movement of his hands, looking for that sweet release that wasn’t too far away._

He pinched his nipple and gasped, imagining Tooru’s tongue running over it, as he worked himself more and more roughly. Hajime felt the heat rising and let go.

“Tooru…”

“ _Hajime…_ ”

“God Tooru…”

“ _Ha-Hajime…_ ”

“Tooru!”

“ _Fuck Hajime_ ”

“TOORU”

“ _HAJIME_ ”

* * *

_**1st September, 2014** _

Hugo took a deep breath and prepared to serve. He threw the ball to the air, ran to the line, jumped and smack it with all his strength. He screamed and cursed as he watched it hitting the ground off bounds. It was the fourth during that match. The opposite team burst out laughing.

"Wow, who would have thought two weeks of doing nothing was all it took to throw you off balance." Diego stated while bent over laughing.

"You say that as if he hadn't spent those weeks exercising _in bed_ " Tooru brought his hand to his mouth to act as a kind of loudspeaker to make sure his teammate heard him.

"Yeah, Hugo, I saw your marks before. Well done tiger!"

Héctor’s words were the last straw. Hugo had had enough. Yes, he was off balance. Yes, he had sex on his fucking honeymoon. Yes, he had marks -he’d have a talk with Lucio later-. But he was more than done with the teasing from the terrible trio. He turned to Blanco looking for support only to find him covering his face with the clipboard to hide his laughter.

“OH, COME ON!” He screamed and the whole gymnasium went silent. Hugo looked around at his teammates with a raised eyebrow and a mean face, challenging them to make another joke, but when his eyes stopped on the panicked face of Thiago, their newest recruit, he couldn’t help it and exploded with laughter, which made all of them breathed with relieve and joined him.

After a couple minutes, Blanco clapped.

“Okay enough distraction, back to your matches.”

His voice sounded serious but there was a smile on his face. It was the first day of official training after the summer and they were playing 6 vs 6. Tooru’s team formed by Héctor, Diego and three more teammates were currently winning to Hugo’s, that was playing alongside Pedro, Thiago -the Portuguese rookie setter- and other three.

It was Tooru's turn to serve. He pointed at Hugo at the other side of the net.

"Now, let me show you how it's done."

* * *

Oikawa sat on the bench of their locker room, half dressed and with wet hair, a few water drops sliding down his neck. He was exhausted, and that counting he had been jogging and going to the gym every day. He didn’t want to think how he’d be if he’d been just lazing around in a Caribbean beach like Hugo. They had returned from Punta Cana a couple days ago and had been busy with the family so Hugo was walking around, showing them all the pictures and telling funny anecdotes - _there’re a lot of awkward ones but I don’t wanna get a divorce yet guys, sorry_ \- and Tooru felt a little bit jealous. He wanted all that.

His phone buzzed while Hugo explained how he got sunburnt so badly the first day that he spent the next three just laying down in bed covered in aloe vera. Tooru laughed and checked his phone.

**From: Iwa-chan <3**

[imageattached.jpg]

New haircut, do you like it?

I think it might be too short

**To: Iwa-chan <3**

such a cute hedgehog my iwa-chan <3 <3 <3 <3

Tooru just sat there, looking at the selfie of a worried Hajime. Tooru would never tell him, but he thought he was more handsome with short hair. He smiled at his screen, unaware of the way Héctor and Diego were exchanging glances between them and him. Eventually, Héctor dropped next to him.

“Big smile you have there, Toru. What did Iwa-chan send you?”

“It’s a selfie! Look, he cut his hair, isn’t he cute?” He tipped the phone so Héctor could see the picture. The libero smiled at him and raised an eyebrow.

“So, when are you two finally getting together?” At that, Tooru stopped looking at his screen and looked at his friend instead, with a question-mark face.

“Huh?” Héctor rolled his eyes and let out an exasperated sigh.

“Toru oh my god it’s so painfully obvious for all of us that you love him” Tooru blushed harder and quicker than in his entire life.

“N-no… I don’t love him, why do you say that?”

“Cause your face literally lights up and your mood gets better every time you talk to him!”

He had talked so loudly that the whole locker room shut up. Now everybody was looking at them which made more blood run to Tooru’s face.

“But that… I… I don’t love him… I think.” He whispered the last part but in the deafening silence they could hear it.

“Okay, this is it. You, me, our bar, tonight at nine.” Diego pointed at him. “We need to talk.”

* * *

Tooru dressed up in silence. Usually, he would play some music and sing around his room but that day he had a lot to think.

He wasn’t in love with Hajime. Sure, they had kissed, but they’d been drunk.

_You weren't drunk in the morning, Tooru_.

“Shut up.” He muttered to himself.

It was true, he had kissed him that morning, and he didn’t know why. He had decided not to think about it too much. It had been involuntary, probably because of the remnants of alcohol in his system.

_It wasn’t just one kiss_.

Tooru hated his brain. _Yes_ , it hadn’t been one kiss, it’d been a great make out session with his best friend which had ended with both of them shirtless, touching each other and hard. But that had been the alcohol.

He sighed and pressed the heels of his hands to his closed eyes. It wasn’t the alcohol what made him touch himself everyday with the memory of those wandering hands and wet kisses. But it wasn’t love either. If that, it was purely lust. He had eyes; he knew Hajime was hot. Years of playing volleyball had shaped and defined his body, but it’d been certainly California what had busted his sex-appeal way up. He was more tanned, and confident, and smiled more, and even if he had stopped playing, he went to the gym thrice a week so his arms were bigger, and his thighs thicker, and preparing for the wedding Tooru had seen those perfect abs and drooled, so it was normal that he thought of him while jerking off, wasn’t it? 

He shook his head and took his keys, leaving to meet Diego. The walk to the bar wasn’t long but enough to allow Tooru’s cheek to regain his normal color and his half-hard cock to soften.

He walked in and waved at the bartender while approaching their usual table. He didn’t know how they were still allowed there after the incident, but he was glad. After their first win with CA San Juan, Diego and he had found that small intimate pub and binge drank till they ended up on top of the table singing -trying to in Tooru’s case- the Argentine anthem. That’s how it became _their_ bar. He removed his coat and placed it on his chair back and watched as the waitress hopped to him with a big smile.

“Hi, Toru, you alone?”

“Nah, just waiting for Diego”

“Should I bring you the usual?”

“Yes, please.”

He winked at her, and her cheeks tainted red as she turned back to the bar. Tooru saw Diego rolling his eyes behind her. He sat next to Tooru and smacked his head.

“You know she likes you, why do you flirt with her?”

“I don’t _flirt_. It’s just my personality.”

“You’re an ass.”

“Did you invite me here just to insult me?” Diego raised an eyebrow.

“First, who said I’m the one paying? And second, you know damn well why we’re here.” Tooru crossed his arms on the table and sighed.

“Do we really need to do this?”

“ _Yes_. Toru, I know you and-”

“Hey guys, your beers.” The waitress placed them on the table and brought out the opener. She raised an eyebrow while removing the cap from the bottles, feeling the tension between the two men. “Is everything okay?” Tooru quickly smiled at her.

“All good.”

She left and Tooru took his beer.

“So, how’s the family? You went to Luján, right?” Tooru asked while taking a sip. He was trying to avoid the subject though he knew it was impossible. Diego was as stubborn as a mule.

“Great, but you already know, we talked and I sent you photos. Now, tell me what happened after I dropped your drunk asses at your doorway. And” he added when he saw Tooru about to answer _nothing_ “remember, I was also there. You were dancing so close Andrea and I thought for a moment you guys were making out.”

Tooru flushed and took a longer sip. He knew everybody had seen them but at that moment he had been too drunk to care. Now, the embarrassment was driving blood to his face. He stuttered a bit and before he could speak two women approached them.

“Hey there, mind if we join you and buy you a beer?”

“Sorry, taken.” Diego raised his hand and showed them his promise ring.

“And I play for the opposite team, if you know what I mean.” They all laughed.

“Alright, sorry to bother you, enjoy your evening!”

“Same!” Tooru waved them goodbye while mentally thanking the aliens for sending them and took the opportunity to try and change the subject. “But seriously, how’s your mum? I haven’t seen her in a while.”

“ _Toru_.”

Diego was looking at him all serious, and he knew he had no escape.

“We kissed.” It was almost a whisper. Diego squinted his eyes and raised an eyebrow.

“That’s all?” Tooru blushed.

“That’s all.”

“I don’t buy it, there’s something else. Spill, Toru.”

The brunet sank on his chair and took a deep breath. Then, he proceeded to tell Diego the whole weekend, since Hajime had arrived. He saw his friend clenching his fists when he mentioned how he couldn’t stop thinking about Matt but that Hajime had held his hand - _yeah, we noticed, you were both tomatoes_ \- and calmed him down. How he started to drink to forget, how everyone around him had gone blank when they were dancing, how when they got home everything had overflowed and they had ended intertwined on his couch, how Hajime had touched him, and how he had stopped because Tooru was drunk. How Tooru hadn’t wanted him to stop.

“The next day he left for Irvine and we’ve been talking normally since, like if nothing had happened…”

Diego stayed silent for a bit, looking at Tooru intensely. He took a long sip, placed his beer on the table and crossed his arms.

“How do you feel about him, Toru?”

“I-I don’t know.”

“What have you thought when you saw his selfie earlier?”

“That he looked cute…”

“What have you _felt_?”

“I-I…” The correct answer was that his heart had begun beating faster. “Happy. He’s my best friend.” He said after a long pause. “I’ve known him forever; I trust him completely. And I want to touch him -don’t laugh, not like that- I want him to hug me.” Tooru felt his face getting redder and redder as he spoke. “I want to see him smile, to hear his laugh, to walk beside him down the street, with no exact destination, like we used to do. I miss him every day…” He raised his eyes to meet his friend who looked at him amused. “Is that love?”

Diego shook his head smiling. 

“God Toru, you’re so stupid.” The aforementioned wrinkled his nose.

“And you’re so rude.”

“How can you not know that you’re completely head over heels in love with him? I mean, haven’t you _just_ heard yourself?” Diego threw his head back and burst out laughing. Tooru snorted.

“Sorry for not knowing how to recognize love.” He tried to sound sure, normal, but his voice cracked a bit and Diego picked up immediately the fear behind it. He grabbed his shoulder and squeezed it lightly.

“Hey, everything’s gonna be fine. You fell for your childhood best friend, so what? It’s not the end of the world.” Tooru sighed.

“Yeah, you’re right. And probably it’s just a crush. Eventually, it’ll go away.” They made a toast and finished their beers. They stayed silent for a while, Tooru with his eyes focused on a bubble gum on the wall, lost in his thoughts, and Diego simply observing him. A couple minutes later, the setter looked at him. “How did you know it? With Andrea.”

Tooru watched as Diego’s smile grew bigger and his eyes sparkled the way they only did when he talked about his girlfriend. He already knew their story. They had attended the same high school in their hometown, Luján, and started dating when they were fifteen. She stayed there to study Educational Studies at the university while Diego signed to play for Azul Volley Club. For five years, he drove four hours whenever he could to see her - _and my family, but mostly her, don’t tell my mum_ \- and when Blanco knocked on his door asking him to play for CA San Juan, merely a couple days after Andrea’s graduation, it felt like destiny. They had moved together and they lived happily in a beautiful apartment downtown. But right now, Tooru didn’t want to hear him gloating about his perfect relationship. He wanted to know that moment. The _oh I love her_ revelation.

  
“It wasn’t love at first sight.” Diego finally talked. “Nor at second or third. It took time. We knew each other -we went to the same class, after all- and I used to see her at the library, but we barely spoke. Until one day we were assigned to work a project together. We met at my house and at first everything was a little awkward but eventually we got comfortable and began laughing and making fun of each other.” Diego scoffed. “She called me a himbo and I got so upset I took out all of my grades since kindergarten. I think I’d never laughed so hard before that.” There was such fondness in his voice that made Tooru blushed. “After that, we started to talk more in class, and we met to go to the library and sat together. When we finished, I accompanied her home. The first couple days, I only walked with her until the end of the street. Then, until the flower shop in the roundabout. Then, all the way to her house. And then, we stayed there on her front door talking for hours before one of our parents called us asking where we were. One day, after her dad shouted at us from the window, she whispered _will you go to the movies with me tomorrow?_ and my heart stopped. And I knew it. I knew she was the one.”

When he finished, there were tears in Tooru’s eyes.

“Damn, I really want a love story like that.”

“Maybe you already have it and you’re too scared to act on it.”

* * *

Tooru got home a little bit tipsy after drinking more beers than he should. But in his defense, it was Diego’s fault.

_“Toru, I hate you, you’ve got me all nostalgic and Andrea is still in Luján. Now, I order you to drink with me until I forget about it.”_

He should know better by now that you _don’t_ drink with Diego unless you want to be hungover the next morning. He slowly walked to his bedroom and jumped on his bed. He unlocked his phone and stared at his wallpaper. He missed Iwa-chan, and he also blamed Diego for that. They’ve been talking all night about his best friend. Thanks to the alcohol, his fingers worked faster than his brain.

**To: Iwa-chan <3**

can i call you?

He waited there for the boy to answer. It was past midnight but with the time difference for Hajime it was the evening.

**From: Iwa-chan <3**

Of course

Just a few seconds later, Tooru had pressed the video call button, but it took Hajime a while to answer. When he finally did, Tooru smiled.

“Took you long enough.”

“I’m sorry, I’ve just showered and when you said if you could call, I thought you mean, you know, _call_ , not video. I had to put on my pyjamas.”

“Oh, you were gonna answer me naked or something?”

Both guys opened his eyes shocked.

“Sorry. I-I'm a bit tipsy. I went out with Diego.”

“Okay, okay…”

They were blushing and neither of them spoke for a couple minutes. Tooru examined his best friend under the light of his newly found feelings.

_He’s really handsome_.

Hajime coughed and Tooru realized he had been staring. He blinked a couple times and spoke.

“How was your first day?”

_Nicely saved, Tooru._

Hajime raised an eyebrow, trying to read his mind but finally gave up. It’s been a long day, and as Tooru had confessed, he was a little drunk.

“Great, though I didn’t do much. It was mostly reading files and getting to know each player. But I liked it, I really think I’ll learn a lot. Takashi-”

“You mean Ushiwaka’s dad?” Hajime rolled his eyes and laughed softly.

“Yeah, Takashi, _Ushijima_ ’s dad.” Tooru pouted.

“Traitor.” 

“You’re never letting that go, aren’t you?” Hajime chuckled.

“Nope. At least not until you prove to me you’re still _my_ best friend.”

“What do you want me to do, Tooru?”

“I don’t know. Bring me some milk bread next time you visit.”

“I already did the first time and you said it was awful and not to do it again.”

“Well, I retract my words.”

They were serious for a couple seconds and then burst out laughing, and kept laughing for a while, until Hajime spoke.

“You really miss milk bread, don’t you?”

“Yeah, but I miss you more.”

That startled Hajime, who stayed silent for a moment, and Tooru feared things would get weird, but then he saw the little smile and the red tainting his cheeks.

“Yeah, me too, Shittykawa.” It might have been an insult, but whispered like that… Tooru melt.

“So mean, Iwa-chan.”

His eyelids were heavy and it was taking him all his energy to keep his eyes opened. Of course, Hajime noticed this.

“Go to sleep, Tooru.”

“Night, Hajime.”

When Hajime hung up, Tooru was left alone in his bed, staring at the ceiling and a single thought crossing his mind.

_Shit, I love him._

* * *

**To: Makki**

how did you know you loved mattsun?

**From: Makki**

What’s this?

What happened?

**To: Makki**

just

i found out something

**From: Makki**

?????

Care to elaborate?

**To: Makki**

nope

**From: Makki**

Then go fuck yourself

**To: Makki**

MEAN >:(

**From: Makki**

You’re the one asking questions and not explaining a shit

I’m tired, I just woke up

Please pretty please just explain yourself :)

**To: Makki**

it’s just

i’ve been doing a lot of thinking since matt and i realized i don’t know a thing about love

i mean, i love you guys, but not in that way

so how did you know mattsun was more than a friend?

i’m sorry if i’m not being clear, i might be a bit drnk

**From: Makki**

Don’t worry, I get it

Well, it just happened

We were hanging out after practice and I felt the need to kiss him

So I did

And obviously he kissed me back

I think I realized I loved him when he took care of me when I got that terrible flu

Remember?

Oikawa?

Are you there?

Did you fall asleep?

Of course you fell asleep you piece of shit

I hate you

* * *

_**22nd December, 2014. Night.** _

Hajime waited for the light that forced them to keep their seat belts on to go off before he stood up and started to get his things like the rest of the passengers. He had left his room the day before in the morning, and now it was night time in San Juan, and he hadn’t slept in over thirty hours and it was taking him all his willpower not to collapse on the tiny hallway of the plane.

Finally, people began moving. Thankfully, the airport was nothing compared to LAX or Haneda. He really didn’t want to think where he was going, he just wanted to follow the crowd and get to the exit. All he could think of was his best friend and his comfy bed.

And there he was. Standing a head taller than most of the people and holding his characteristic sign that read IWA-CHAN and a heart. Hajime couldn’t help it. He ran, dragging his suitcase behind him, towards his best friend, who opened his arms. They collided while laughing and hugged each other tightly. They just separated enough to put the suitcase between them -safety first- and kept hugging.

“I can’t believe you’re gonna be here for two weeks.” Tooru whispered in his ear.

“Well, you’re pretty convincing.”

_“Iwa-chaaaaan, would you come visit me this Christmas?”_

_“Why? We could meet in Japan like last year.”_

_“I know! But I really want to spend a warm Christmas for once! We can go to the beach!”_

_“San Juan doesn’t have a beach you dumbass.”_

_“But we could go if it had! Pleeeeeeease!”_

_“Have you told your mum?”_

_“YES! And she’s okay with it. She’ll convince your parents.”_

_“Well, in that case…”_

_“Is that a yes?!”_

_“Yes, idiot, I’ll visit you this Christmas.”_

_“I swear you won’t regret it!”_

They broke the hug and Hajime yawned, which made Tooru smile a bit. He took Hajime’s suitcase and put an arm around his shoulders.

“Let’s go grab a cab, I’m sure you must be exhausted.”

Another yawn and a simple nod were all Tooru got as an answer. Hajime let himself be guided outside the airport, and sat on the floor while the brunet called a taxi. Once in the car, Hajime fell asleep leaning on Tooru’s shoulder, while his friend chatted amicably with their driver.

When he opened his eyes, he saw Tooru leaned over him, unfastening his seat belt. He was really cute with his glasses on, that’s all he could think about. He raised his hand unconsciously and caressed his cheek, startling the brunet who quickly blushed and smiled at him.

“Thank god you woke up, I’m not sure I can carry you four floors Iwa-chan. Come on, I’ll take your bags.”

He hummed as answer and they got out of the cab. He walked up the stairs automatically, hearing Tooru giggling behind him. He was sure he even closed his eyes at some point, but his mind remembered the way. He stopped in front of his door and waited for Tooru to open it. Once in the apartment he went straight to the bedroom and didn’t hesitate before sinking into the oh-so-comfortable mattress.

“Aren’t you seriously putting on a pyjama or something?”

“Tired…” He mumbled.

Tooru rolled his eyes and smiled before squatting at his feet. Then, he proceeded to untie his shoelaces and remove the trainers.

“What are you doing?” Hajime slurred his words.

“If you want to sleep on jeans, perfect, but I’m not letting you dirty the sheets with the mud on your shoes.”

“Mud?”

“It rained before.”

Hajime’s mouth formed an “o” and dropped the conversation. He was about to close his eyes when he saw Tooru pulling out his t-shirt, awakening all of his senses. He watched as his friend undressed himself and put on his pyjamas, suddenly, all tiredness he was feeling was gone and his eyes were wide open. He only closed them when he saw Tooru about to turn around. He felt the weight of his best friend sinking next to him and without thinking twice, Hajime reached out his hand. They were both laying on his sides, facing each other. Tooru’s eyes went from Hajime’s face to his hand and shyly moved his own until their fingerprints touched.

“Good night, Tooru.”

“Good night, Hajime.”

* * *

_**23rd December, 2014. Morning.** _

Hajime woke up alone in bed. He stretched out before sitting up. He couldn’t hear any sounds coming from the bathroom or the rest of the house so he assumed Tooru had left. He yawned and checked his phone.

**From: Tooru**

iwa-chan i’m out shopping

i’ll be back around noon

you have your precious orange juice on the fridge and i’ve emptied a drawer in the closet for you

don’t miss me too much~

Hajime chuckled and looked at the time. He had about an hour before Tooru came back.

He was finishing unpacking when he found the box of condoms he had bought and blood ran to his face. He remembered three days ago, standing in his room, packing up his clothes and his brain replaying Tooru’s words in his head.

_“I’d never regret it… with you…”_

He hadn’t specified but for the context they were in he could easily imagine what Tooru meant. So, in an impulse, he had gone and bought it. But then, standing in front of his friend’s closet with the box on his hands he felt nervous. What if he had changed his mind? It’d been five months, enough time to think about it and regret it. Hajime finally opted for burying the condoms in the suitcase under the clothes that didn’t fit in the closet, and placed the bag on the corner of the bedroom.

He was washing his breakfast cup when he heard the keys on the entrance and the door opening.

“Kitchen!”

He heard steps and a smiley Tooru appeared in the doorframe, carrying a couple bags full of groceries.

“Morning, Iwa-chan. Did you sleep well?”

“Yeah, but I’m still a bit tired.”

“I assumed you’d be. Just go and sit on the couch, watch something on TV, I’ll finish here in a bit.”

“No, no, let me help you.”

Hajime reached out to grab the cereal box at the same time as Tooru and their fingers brushed making both guys flushed.

“I-I appreciate it, but you don’t know where I store anything. Just go and relax.”

“O-Okay.”

He left the kitchen and sat down on the couch. He took a deep breath to calm his heart. It was going to be two very long weeks.

* * *

_**23rd December, 2014. Evening.** _

“Iwa-chan, help me decorate the house.”

“No, you should’ve done it before.” Tooru pouted.

“But I waited to do it with you.” Hajime choked on the water he was drinking and blushed. “Are you okay?”

_No, I’m not, my mind has interpreted what you just said in a_ very _different way_.

“Yeah, don’t worry. And fine, I’ll help you.” Tooru beamed at that.

“Great! I’ll go grab the garlands!”

Hajime laughed and patiently waited until his friend returned to the living room with a box as big as his suitcase and placed it on the table.

“Where the hell do you keep all that? And _why_ do you have so many ornaments?”

“In the hall closet. And it’s our first Christmas in Argentina! Go big or go home, you know? Just be thankful I didn’t buy a tree.”

* * *

_**24th December, 2014. Noon.** _

“...and then Thiago made a feint no one saw coming and they won. He’s got a huge potential Iwa-chan, you should see him. Maybe I can arrange a match with the few ones that stayed in San Juan for the holidays. Would you like that?” Tooru prattled non-stop while chopping the carrots.

“Yeah, that’d be great.”

They were preparing the meal for that night, standing close to each other in Tooru’s tiny kitchen. His cellphone was on top of the microwave and a song neither of them knew but belonged in a playlist named _Cocina con sabor_ was playing. Hajime looked behind him to the counter where all the ingredients were displayed.

“Isn’t this too much food?”

“As I told you yesterday: go big or go home.”

“But there’s gonna be a huge amount of left over.”

“That we’ll eat tomorrow! Isn’t this great?!”

Tooru’s smile was so big that Hajime could do anything but shake his head and kept on mixing the ingredients for the dough of something called Pionono that was supposed to be a traditional appetizer. He was about to throw the flour on the bowl when Tooru screeched and gripped his wrist.

“No, Iwa-chan! You’re gonna ruin it! You have to sift it!”

“Are _you_ seriously trying to give _me_ cooking lessons?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Yes.” Tooru was serious. “I’m the one who has spent the last month going to Lucia’s to perfect these recipes so you must do as I say.” Hajime grinned at him.

“Oh, Shittykawa, you’ve spent _a month_ learning how to do this _for me_? I’m flattered.” Tooru became a tomato so fast it even surprised Hajime, and he babbled something incoherent for a minute while Hajime laughed. Finally, he sighed.

“I just- I wanted to impress you.”

It was Hajime’s turn to flush. He didn’t know what to say so he just decided not to say anything. They just stayed there in silence, enjoying each other’s company and the voice of whoever was singing then.

* * *

_**24th December, 2014. After dinner.** _

Hajime was full. He didn’t know how they'd done it but they managed to eat most of the Russian salad and the fucking Piononos and a bit of rolled meat. Everything was delicious but it was just _too much_. They sure had enough food for the next day. Tooru had stood up to get the dessert after promising Hajime it wasn’t something big, so when he saw his best friend approaching with what looked like a huge muffin, he began moving his head in denial.

“Nope, I can’t Tooru. I’m gonna explode.”

“Come on Iwa-chan, just a bite.” He sat down and cut a slice. “This is _pan dulce_ , like a panettone. It’s a typical Christmas dessert.”

“When did you make it? Certainly not yesterday nor this morning.” He grabbed the slice with his hand and took a bite. He rolled his eyes and hummed in pleasure. “Oh my god this is heaven.” Tooru giggled.

“Of course it is. Lucia made it. I went to her flat when you were in the shower and hid it on the highest shelf so my tiny Iwa-chan couldn’t get it.”

“I’m enjoying this too much to move and hit you, consider yourself lucky.”

“Are you sure it’s not because you’ve eaten so much you can’t move?” Tooru raised an eyebrow while cutting himself another slice.

“Yeah, that too.”

They burst out laughing and Tooru’s heart skipped a beat. He had missed Hajime. These couple days have been the best in a while and he didn’t want these weeks to end. When they finished eating, they began clearing the table.

“Just leave the dishes in the sink and tomorrow I’ll wash them.”

“You could buy a dishwasher, you know?” Hajime questioned.

“It’s just me, usually. Just one cup, dish, fork, knife, spoon… It’d be a waste of space.” Tooru shrugged and turned to him with a big smile on his face. “Now, grab the champagne from the fridge, two glasses and sit on the couch. It’s gift time!” He screamed as he left the kitchen to go to his room.

Hajime shook his head and did as was told. Then, he followed him to the bedroom. Tooru jumped and hid something behind his back when he heard him.

“Iwa-chan! I told you to sit on the couch!”

“I had to grab my gift too!” Tooru sighed exasperatedly.

“Whatever, close your eyes until I leave.”

Hajime complied, turned around and closed his eyes until Tooru left the room. Then, he opened his suitcase and rummaged it until he found the presents. When he returned to the living room, Tooru was already sitting and pouring the champagne on the glasses. He sank next to him and waited until Tooru gave him his glass.

“To us.” The brunet stated, staring at him and slightly blushing. Hajime lost himself in the fondness in his eyes.

“To us.” He repeated, and they drank the champagne. Tooru placed their glasses on the table and clapped.

“Now Iwa-chan I order you to give me my gift!”

Hajime laughed and grabbed the rectangular wrapped object behind him and gave it to the expectant man in front of him. All it took was five seconds for Tooru to rip the paper and screech.

“IWA-CHAN!”

Tooru was about to cry holding his two gifts. The first one was a portrait with the picture they took at the wedding. Tooru looked at Hajime while biting his lip to fight the tears away, wondering.

“How… It was a polaroid. This isn’t a polaroid.”

“I found a shop in LA that digitize polaroids, thought you’d want to keep it. I have the original in Irvine.”

Tooru wanted to kiss him. Fuck. He _neede_ d it. But that’d ruin everything. Hajime was going to stay there for two weeks and if he didn’t like him and he kissed him… Things could get awkward. He didn’t realize he’d been staring still until Hajime coughed.

“You have one more present.”

“Oh, right, sorry.” Tooru blinked a couple times and looked at the object below the portrait, then at Hajime. “You know me so damn well.” The other simply laughed. It was a doormat that said _Bienvenidos terrícolas_ with an alien making a V sign with his hand. “Do you even know what it means?” He said while removing the tag.

“Welcome earthlings. I did my research.”

Hajime watched as Tooru stood up and walked to his door to put the doormat in his place. The brunet sat next to him again and grabbed the package that had been waiting next to the coffee table. He placed it on Hajime’s lap and smiled at him.

“Hope you like it.”

Then, Hajime proceeded to open it slowly. He had always been the type of person who doesn’t like to tear the paper, unlike Tooru. He found out it was a box decorated with Godzilla’s heads. He raised an eyebrow and looked at his best friend.

“Really?”

“Just open it already!”

They both chuckled and Hajime did as ordered. When he removed the top, he saw the box was filled with the chocolate bars he grew up to love the first time he visited his best friend, and below he could see the corner of something covered by the sweets.

“It’s a box of the five senses! A present for each one. Obviously, the chocolate is for the taste. The others are hidden. And if there’s something you don’t like I can change it so don’t feel force to like it or-”

“Tooru.” Hajime cut his words, knowing perfectly how his friend got when he was nervous. “I’m sure it’s perfect.” He gave him a small smile and Tooru copied him.

Then, he looked for the other gifts. He found the Blu-ray Collector’s Edition of Pacific Rim and Taylor Swift’s newest album 1989 -sight and hearing, obviously-, and a lavender scented candle -smell, a reminder of the trip with their families to Hokkaido for sure-. Finally, he found a black leather document holder. It even said _Hajime_ with silver letters on a corner.

“That’s touch, because of the leather.” Hajime looked up at him and saw Tooru nervously playing with a lock of hair while pointing at the inscription. “I was tempted to put Iwa-chan but I thought you could use it to carry your work files and it might be a bit childish and-” He stopped his ramble when Hajime took his hand and stared at him.

“Thanks, Tooru. I love it.” He squeezed his hand before letting it go.

“You’re welcome, Iwa-chan.”

“But I feel like you spent too much. We agreed not to buy expensive things.” He took the movie and put it in front of Tooru’s face. “And I know how much this cost.” Tooru rolled his eyes.

“Whatever, it’s not a problem.”

“Yes, it is! I should’ve bought you something more.” Now it was Tooru’s turn to hold Hajime’s hand and squeeze it. They looked at each other smiling.

“Iwa-chan, you’re here. That’s the best gift.”

They made another toast, to their families and friends, and switched on the TV to watch one of those musical Christmas specials. Hajime put an arm around Tooru’s shoulder and moved closer. Tooru leaned his head on his shoulder.

“Merry Christmas, Iwa-chan.”

“Merry Christmas, Tooru.”

* * *

_**25th December, 2014. Lunch time.** _

“Tooru, are you ready? I can’t believe we’re gonna be late. It’s literally just across the hall!”

“Coming, coming!” Tooru joined him in the living room, buttoning his shirt. “I just have to grab the tupperwares from the fridge”

“Already did.” Hajime raised up his hand that carried a plastic bag full of their left overs and Tooru beamed.

“Great! Now, let’s go.”

They left the apartment and Tooru locked his door, giggling at his new doormat, while Hajime smiled fondly at him. Five steps later, they got to their destination and knocked on the door.

“Nervous, Iwa-chan?”

“Honestly? A bit.”

“Oh, don’t worry, the Great Oikawa will be your translator, and Lucia assured me his son speaks English.”

At that moment, the woman opened the door.

“Toru! Iwa-chan! Thank you so much for coming!” Tooru leaned towards Hajime to translate the sentence.

“ _Feliz Navidad, gracias por la invitación_.” Hajime said, and Lucia blinked a couple times before flashing him a big smile.

“ _Toru no me dijo que aprendiste español, Iwa-chan!_ ”

“Uuuuh…” Next to them, Tooru laughed.

“ _Sólo practicó esas frases para impresionarte, Lu_.”

“ _Pues es una pena, tiene buen acento_.”

When Lucia stepped aside and let them in, Hajime asked Tooru what they were laughing about.

“She just said you have a great accent; you should learn Spanish Iwa-chan.”

“Oh.”

Then, a man that looked a lot like Lucia approached them extending his hand.

“Hey there, I’m Pedro, Lucia’s son. And she’s my wife, Camila.” The aforementioned waved at them. Pedro looked at Tooru. “From my mum’s description you must be Toru.”

“Yes, nice to meet you.” He shook his hand.

“And you must be Iwa-chan, the boyfriend.”

Hajime and Tooru reddened simultaneously.

“No. Nononono. No. Nope.” Tooru looked at Hajime with a raised eyebrow. “We’re just best friends, and you can call me Hajime.”

“Geez, I didn’t know it was that awful to be mistaken as my boyfriend.”

Pedro burst out laughing and that cut the tension between the two friends.

“Sorry, my mum watches too many soap operas. Let’s go to the table. Everything’s ready.”

Tooru began following the man but before he could take more steps, Hajime grabbed his arm.

“Hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. I was surprised.” Tooru flashed him a small smile.

“I know, Iwa-chan. Don’t worry.”

* * *

_**26th December, 2014.** _

Tooru sat on his couch, waiting for Hajime, who was waiting for the popcorn to be ready. It was a waiting day, it seemed.

Waiting for the food, waiting for the tv show to download, waiting for his best friend to realize just how deeply in love he was.

It hurt when Hajime so fervently denied them to be boyfriends, but it also confirmed Tooru that not to kiss him on Christmas Eve had been the right move. He heard the ring of the microwave and sighed. A couple minutes later, Hajime returned with two bowls full of popcorn.

“So, what are we watching?”

“Brooklyn 99. It’s a comedy about a group of police officers in Brooklyn -duh-. It has good reviews; I think we’d like it.”

“Great, bring it on.”

He sank on the sofa next to Tooru and handed him a bowl that the brunet gladly took. Tooru pressed play and tried to forget about the warm body too close to him.

* * *

_**27th December, 2014.** _

Tooru had sent a text to the CA San Juan group chat asking who was up for a match and a few quickly accepted the invitation.

Luckily for them, Pedro and his family were from San Juan and he had keys to the gym, but he couldn’t stay because he had promised his kids an excursion to the mountains, so it was Tooru, Hajime, and four other teammates, enough for a three vs three. Of course, Tooru insisted that his Iwa-chan had to be in his team and no one dared to oppose him.

It was like the old times. Running alongside Hajime for the warm ups, tossing to him without needing to scream his name, knowing he would be right there to hit it… He had missed it, and he knew Hajime too. Eventually, they lost, but it was a tight gap. And soon after, Tooru realized not everything was like the old times. It was precisely when a sweaty Hajime was helping him stretch and he had to think of his neighbor not to pop a boner right there and then. And then, of course, the showers. Tooru had to use all of his blarney to convince him to wait to get to his flat. He wasn’t sure if he could see Hajime naked and not get a stroke.

* * *

_**28th December, 2014. Night.** _

“HAJIME! HELP!”

Tooru’s scream startled him. He was on Tooru’s desk reviewing a paper he had to turn in after winter break and jumped after hearing the fear in his voice. He ran to the kitchen and found his best friend about to cry and holding his left hand. Left hand that was covered in blood.

“Shit.”

“I-I was chopping the onion for the pizza and… I’m gonna bleed out Hajime, I think I’m fainting…”

“Wait there, I’ll grab the first aid kit from the bathroom. You have bandages, right?”

“I don’t know!” And with that, Tooru began sobbing and Hajime panicked.

He ran to the bathroom and searched for the kit cursing Tooru while throwing all his stupid and unnecessary creams. Finally, he found the alcohol and the bandages and ran back to the kitchen. It seemed Tooru had calmed a bit.

“Let me see the cut.” He gently grabbed Tooru’s wrist and moved his hand closer to his eyes to examine it. He frowned. “This is tomato.”

“Damn right it is.” Tooru broke the grip and licked his finger. “And it’s really good.”

“What the hell, Shittykawa.”

“Happy April’s fool! In Argentina it’s celebrated today.”

Hajime blinked a couple times, staring at his friend who was openly laughing at him and cleaning himself in the sink.

“B-But you even cried.”

“To be fair, the onions helped. Although that doesn’t take away the fact that I could be a great acto-.”

Hajime hit him in the head and Tooru cursed.

“Iwa-chan! That hurt!”

“You deserve it. Now, stop bothering me and finish our pizzas, I’m hungry.”

* * *

_**31st December, 2014. Morning.** _

It had been a couple uneventful days, in the without-activities meaning of the word, because, as for feelings, it had been _a lot_. Waking up every day next to a man who turned you on, having to run to the bathroom to get rid of the morning wood, and then returning to the room where said man was lying down shirtless -cause the first night they had slept fully dressed but it seemed as the days passed they were closer and closer to nudity- was taking a huge amount of energy. And Hajime was confused. Sometimes, he would swear Tooru was just his best friend, but then the brunet would do or say something that’d make his heart stop.

That morning, Tooru had dragged Hajime out of the bed to go to the market. They had to buy the raisins for that night. They could’ve gone before but Tooru had insisted he wanted to do it that day and Hajime had promised to smack his head if there weren’t any left.

They had just left the apartment when it happened. Their hands brushed and in an act of bravery, Tooru grabbed Hajime’s. At first, he tensed and looked at the brunet, whose eyes were fixed on the sidewalk, refusing to look at him, but the light pink on his cheeks helped him relax. He rubbed Tooru’s palm with his thumb, enjoying the reddening of his face and his little smile.

They held hands all the way back and forth. And they got the raisins, so Tooru’s head was saved. A perfect day, he would say.

* * *

_**1st January, 2015. Morning.** _

They had cuddled.

Last night, they fucking cuddled.

Tooru couldn’t believe it.

They had eaten their twelve raisins and toast with champagne and called his parents and all that. And _then_ , Hajime had moved closer to him on the couch and put his legs over Tooru’s lap and leaned his head on his shoulder and Tooru’s brain had short-circuited. They’d stayed like that for a while, watching the fireworks through the window.

“We should go to bed.” Hajime had whispered.

“Yes, we should.”

They walked there with their fingers intertwined, only breaking the touch when arriving at the bedroom. They began undressing, glancing at each other when they thought the other wasn’t looking, and blushing when they got caught. Once on his sport shorts that used as pyjama, Tooru climbed to his bed, followed by Hajime. They were laying on their sides, backs facing each other. Tooru bit his lip and moved a bit backwards, to get closer to Hajime, who mimicked him. When they finally touched, a shiver ran through both their bodies and it was Tooru who mentally cursed and turned around to face the other and put an arm around Hajime’s waist. He didn’t move so Tooru assumed he wasn’t rejecting him and they fell asleep like that.

Tooru was so lost in thought he didn’t realize he had burnt the toasts until the smell of burnt bread reached his nose.

“Shit.”

“What’s that smell? Did you burn the toasts?” Hajime screamed from the bedroom where he was dressing up.

“Sorry!”

* * *

_**3rd January, 2015. Midnight.** _

They stood in line after a blue haired guy and who they assumed was his boyfriend by the way they were making out. Tooru turned around to look at Hajime.

“So, first time in a gay bar, right?”

“Yep, in Irvine we usually go to someone’s house, not clubs.”

“Well, it’s like any other pub but without women, mostly.”

“Do you come here often?” They showed the bouncer their IDs and walked in.

“Not really, I think I’ve come here like, four times, the first one the day I told the team I was gay, and the other three I can’t remember, probably because we started drinking somewhere else and somehow ended up here.”

Hajime shook his head and laughed.

“Drunkykawa.”

“As if you hadn’t texted me drunk every weekend your first quarter, Iwa-chan.”

They burst out laughing until the song changed and Tooru gasped and grabbed Hajime’s arm, dragging him to the dancing floor. He didn’t know the song but it seemed it was very popular by the way everybody was screaming.

“Which song is this?” He’d had to lean closer to Tooru so the brunet could hear him.

“ _Gasolina_! Daddy Yankee, Hajime! He’s the best!” Hajime chuckled before the enthusiasm of his best friend.

“I’m gonna order us some shots, okay?”

“Tequila for me, thanks!”

Hajime turned around and walked to the bar. It was still early in the night so there weren't too many people and he ordered right away. He leaned on the counter while waiting for the bartender to take his card and looked at Tooru. Almost immediately, he was drooling, and he wasn’t the only one. Tooru definitely knew how to move, there were a lot of eyes fixed on him. But he was only staring at Hajime. He winked at him when he saw that he got his attention and turned around. He was swinging his hips in a hypnotic rhythm that put Hajime on trance. The bartender had to tap on his shoulder to break the spell.

“Oh, sorry.”

After paying, he put the wallet in his pocket and looked at the shots, with the lemon on top and the salt beside. Fucking tequila. He threw some salt on the back of his hand and carefully grabbed the tiny glasses. He walked to his best friend and handed him his shot.

“So, uhm, the salt…”

Tooru grabbed his hand and licked it without breaking eye contact. Then, he took his shot and bit the chopped lemon while Hajime stood there looking at him completely flushed and paralyzed.

“What happens, _Hajime_? Aren’t you gonna take yours?” He raised an eyebrow and grinned. Tooru had seen how Hajime had looked at him from the bar and was determined to make a move.

_Okay Hajime, calm down. He’s just messing with you. Take a deep breath and CALM. DOWN._

Hajime raised his hand and licked the salt that Tooru had left under his attentive look. He drank the tequila that burnt his throat a bit before the lemon juice calmed it. Then, they left the glasses on a nearby counter and the song changed. 

_¿Cómo estás?_

_Esta noche quiero hacer maldades_

_Esta noche quiero hacértelo y que no acabe_

_Hacer que te entregues a mí_

There were more people dancing that forced them to be closer, and Hajime got nervous. There were barely ten centimeters between their bodies and Tooru kept looking at him like _that_ , and sometimes his eyes lowered to his mouth and up again, heating up Hajime. He tried to talk to distract himself.

“What song is this one?” Tooru leaned forward to answer him.

“ _Travesuras_ , Iwa-chan.”

“I like it. This is reggaeton, isn’t it?”

“Yep! It’s the best music to dance to, if you ask me.”

“Can you teach me?”

Hajime observed him as he blushed and looked down. Then, he raised his gaze and stared into his eyes, his mouth forming a defiant smile, the one he puts when he goes for all. Tooru slipped a leg between Hajime’s and placed his hands on his waist. He leaned closer to whisper in his ear.

“Sure, _Hajime_.”

He began moving against him and Hajime gulped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter! The continuation is of course chapter 1 Teach me how to dance, but the story isn't finished! Who knows what I'll write after this. Maybe the beginning of everything aka Tooru coming out after graduation or maybe it's finally the continuation of chapter 3 o.O
> 
> If you want the doormat Hajime gifted Tooru chek [this!](https://www.felpudosoriginales.com/tienda/felpudos-originales/felpudo-alien-verde/)
> 
> This is the Cocina con sabor [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/37i9dQZF1DXdZy1l7SFkwm?si=kjbtEVJ9TaGmwz0Iz2EaMg)
> 
> And here you have a bonus scene I called [Iwa's trauma](https://twitter.com/makemeadrink_13/status/1307009098383347712)


	8. Brand new

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tooru and Hajime are eighteen when they move across the world to chase their dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another flashback. I swear to you I'll write the continuation for chapter three, but first you need to know the whole story :)
> 
> Enjoy!

**_28th August, 2012_ **

Tooru was nervous. _Extremely_ nervous. Since he took the decision last week, he’d been biting his nails, losing sleep, and carrying a heavy knot in his stomach. The fear that was wrapping him lately was suffocating but Tooru was determined not to let it control him. He had mentally repeated his speech every day, planning every possible outcome and answers from his best friend. He needed to tell him. He knew it was the right time. In a couple weeks he’d move to Argentina and Hajime to California. If something went wrong, they’d never meet again, and as much as Tooru kept telling himself that it’d be okay, just the thought destroyed him from the inside out.

He took a deep breath and knocked on Hajime’s door. His parents had gone out for dinner and they decided to get together, play a movie and drink. It was the perfect moment.

“It’s open! Come in!”

_Okay Tooru, you can do this._

He pushed the door and walked in, removing his shoes before stepping in the living room. Hajime was sitting on his couch with one hand deep in the popcorn bowl and the other holding a beer can, eyes focused on the basketball match playing on the TV. The sight made Tooru’s stomach curl from anxiety. It all became real. He gulped and tried to put on his best fake smile.

“Hey there, Iwa-chan! I see you didn’t bother waiting for me, how rude.” The aforementioned shrugged.

“I knew you’d be late as always.”

“I’m sorry for trying to look decent unlike you!” Tooru gasped. Hajime rolled his eyes.

“Whatever. Just grab a beer and join me already.”

Tooru walked to the kitchen and did as told. Then, he sank on the couch next to Hajime.

“So, what are we watching?” He hoped for a super long movie. He wanted to lengthen the moment before telling him as much as possible. He’d even watch the whole Godzilla anime. But he wasn’t that lucky.

“Nothing.” Hajime grabbed the remote and switched off the TV. “At least not until we talk.” He turned his body to face Tooru, whose face was pale and eyes were wide opened in shock.

“W-What do you mean, Iwa-chan? Talk about what?”

“Cut the bullshit, Crappykawa.” Tooru panicked. “You may think you’re so smart, and that you fool everybody with those fake smiles but I’m not anybody. I know something’s eating you and I also know it has nothing to do with us moving apart, so I’m gonna give you just one chance. Tell me.”

Hajime was staring at him intensely, eyebrows furrowed and arms crossed on his chest. Tooru felt his heartbeat in his ears. This wasn’t how he planned it. He meant to drink a couple beers to loosen a bit so the disgusted face of Hajime wouldn’t hurt that much. Or his fist. Tooru had imagined the worst. He curled up on the couch hugging his legs and hid his face there. He felt Hajime leaning forward and placing a hand on his knee, shaking it.

“Oikawa, what’s wrong?”

Tooru’s breathing was faltering and he felt tears forming in the corners of his eyes. He wasn’t ready to lose him, and that was precisely what was going to happen. Hajime kept calling him, voice full of concern, of course. Tooru knew he worried about him, that deep down, hidden after that brute behavior and mean nicknames, he cared about him. He always had. But maybe one word -especially _that_ word- could weigh more than eighteen years of friendship.

Hajime clicked his tongue and moved closer to grab his head, forcing Tooru’s eyes on him. He looked on the verge of crying.

“Damn it Shittykawa, what’s running through that stupid head of yours?”

“Iwa-chan… Am I your best friend?”

It was barely a whisper but Hajime heard it. He looked at Tooru as if he had just asked him if a volleyball ball was round.

“What the hell?” He blinked and dropped his hands. “You know you are. I-I know sometimes I hit you, but in a friendly way!”

“I know, I know.” Tooru bit his lip and looked down. “It’s just… You’re like, my biggest bestest friend. I don’t want you to hate me…”

“Oikawa, I couldn’t hate you even if you killed someone.” He seemed to ponder that thought for a minute. “You haven’t, have you? Should I call Shirat-”

“No! No!” Tooru chuckled and Hajime smiled. There were still tears on his eyes but at least he had laughed. “It’s just… I have to tell you something, and it may change… everything.”

Hajime crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow.

“Okay, you got me intrigued. What’s that oh-so-big revelation that’s gonna make me hate you after eighteen years of putting up with your shit?”

“I’m gay.”

The smile on Hajime’s face fell and his mouth formed an “o” while his eyes widened in shock. Tooru’s heart began beating faster. There was no turning back now. Neither of them moved a muscle for what felt like hours. Tooru opened his mouth to speak but stopped himself when Hajime turned from him, covering his face with his hands and bending forward between his knees. He didn’t say a word. Tooru felt like he was going to have a heart attack.

“Iwa-chan?”

His voice cracked. Then, Hajime began shivering and Tooru could swear he heard him sobbing. Was he… crying? Iwaizumi Hajime, crying? _That_ , he didn’t see it coming. He hadn’t cried since Tooru stepped on and killed a beetle. It was making him anxious. He wanted to scream _please say something_ but at the same time, he didn’t want to hear what he may say. He raised a hand temptatively to poke on his shoulder and jumped when Hajime leaned backwards, pressing his back to the couch, and laughed while crying.

_Tooru, you broke him._

The situation was so surreal that Tooru’s fear of being kicked out of the house and never talked again had vanished. He could only stare at Hajime with a raised eyebrow.

After a couple more minutes of sobs and cackles, finally, Hajime looked back at him, glittery eyes due to the tears.

“I’m bisexual, Oikawa.”

It was his time to show a shocked face. Hajime stared at him with a smile, waiting for Tooru to process everything, which took a couple of minutes. Tooru kept opening and closing his mouth, squinting his eyes at Hajime, his face a perfect mask of confusion.

“So, you don’t hate me?”

“Why would I?” Hajime rolled his eyes.

“Well… Because…”

“There’s nothing wrong with liking men, Oikawa, even if Japan screams that there is.”

Hajime had stopped crying and was looking at him with a serious face. Tooru couldn’t help it and cried. Hajime smiled, opening his arms and Tooru quickly moved to hide his face in the crook of his neck and hugged him back. His whole body was shaking from the intensity of his sobbing and Hajime ran a hand through his back trying to soothe him. When Tooru calmed down, Hajime pushed him back a bit to force him to look at him.

“And just for the record, I could be straight as an arrow and nothing would change. My sexuality has nothing to do with the fact that you’re my best friend and I’d kill anyone who hurt you.” He flushed while saying that and Tooru smirked.

“Oh, Iwa-chan. I knew you cared” He laughed while returning to his safe place on Hajime's shoulder and Hajime snorted.

“Seriously, what would you think was going to happen?” Tooru didn’t answer but Hajime felt his shoulders tense. “You thought I’d hit you and stop talking to you, right?” The silence spoke for him. “Stupidkawa.” He muttered.

“Stop insulting me! I’m sensitive now!” Tooru pouted and Hajime laughed and hugged him tighter.

They stayed quietly enjoying the silence until suddenly, Tooru jumped back and pushed Hajime.

“Wait a minute!” Tooru frowned and stared at Hajime who had no clue what was running through his head. Nothing good, if he had to trust previous experiences. “When were you going to tell me?” Hajime blinked a couple times and babbled something. Tooru squinted his eyes. “Never, weren’t you?”

“I-” Hajime sighed. “Yeah, never.”

“Why?” Tooru looked hurt and Hajime smiled at him.

“For the same reason you were at the verge of an anxiety attack before telling me.”

Tooru’s mouth formed an “o” and looked down. Hajime watched him frowning as the engines of his brain worked, unaware of what he was thinking. After a couple minutes, Tooru looked up and clapped.

“Okay, this” he pointed at Hajime and then at him “has to end.”

“Our friendship?” It was his time to frown. Tooru shook his head and stared at him. Gaze full of determination.

“No! Us not talking about this stuff!” He raised his hands and pulled his hair. “I don’t want to keep things hidden from you anymore! And I want you to tell me everything! Fuck, you’ve dated Emiko-chan for almost a year and we’ve barely talked about her!”

Hajime bit the inside of his cheek, thinking.

“Okay, okay…” He mumbled. “From now on, we tell each other _everything_.” He extended his hand. “Deal?”

“Deal.” They shook hands smiling at each other. Then, Tooru grinned. “Now tell me about Emiko.”

Hajime refused, shielding in the meaning of _from now on_ while Tooru whined that it was a technicality, it obviously applied to previous events. Tooru kept wailing and pouting and complaining about how he didn’t deserve such a rude treatment until Hajime complied and satisfied his curiosity.

They ended up talking for hours, all while finishing the beer stocks in the fridge. They talked about _everything_ as they had agreed. Tooru’s girlfriends -Hajime smacked his head when Tooru confessed he never felt anything for them- and Emiko -Hajime could swear his face had never been redder than when Tooru asked him about the sex- and then they talked about boys and “gay awakenings” and the pinch server Tooru crushed on and cost them a practice match. They were closer and closer to crossing the line from tipsy to drunk and Hajime knew his parents were going to be mad if they found them like that but he couldn’t find himself to care when Tooru was laughing like that after a week of overthinking and _years_ of hiding. His heart sank on his chest when he thought of the possible reactions Tooru had imagined of him.

“I’m sorry.” 

“What?” Tooru turned his gaze to him smiling, but frowned when he saw that Hajime was looking at the floor.

“I’m sorry.” Hajime looked at him. “For not being there for you. For making you think that you couldn’t trust me, that I’d reject you, that-”

“Iwa-chan.” Tooru had raised his hand, signaling him to stop. “It’s okay, it’s no one’s fault.” He bit his bottom lip. “And I’m sorry too, for the same.”

They both sighed. Hajime’s eyes focused on his coffee table, covered with empty beer cans and potato chips. The floor was full of popcorn from when Tooru had kicked the bowl instead of Hajime after he called him something he couldn’t even remember.

“We should really tidy up and go to sleep before my parents arrive.”

It took them half an hour because they kept messing with each other but eventually the living room was clean. More or less. They walked upstairs and changed into their pyjamas. When Hajime saw Tooru laying out his spare futon, he frowned.

“Wait, were you supposed to sleep here?”

Tooru looked at him -well, “looked”. His eyes were closed. - and hummed.

“I don’t know, but I’ll text my mum.”

Hajime hummed and they both layed down on their respective beds. 

* * *

_**29th August, 2012** _

They weren’t hangover the next morning, which was a miracle if you asked Tooru. He couldn’t remember how many beers he had drunk but he could remember perfectly their conversation and warmth spread through his chest. He felt lighter after coming out to Hajime and he wanted to hit last-week Tooru for thinking his Iwa-chan would ever hate him. 

They were on the bus, sharing earphones and listening to Hajime’s favorite J-Rock group, as usual. Nothing had changed. They got off the bus right in front of the restaurant where they agreed to meet with Makki and Mattsun.

“Have you decided yet?” Hajime asked while putting away the headphones in his pocket.

“I think I’ll wait after dessert.” He tried to sound confident but Hajime knew him better. He could sense the fear behind his words.

“Hey, I’m here, you’re not alone. We can do it together, if you want.”

“I don’t want to force you…”

“You don’t.” Hajime bit his lip. “I think we can trust them. I wanna do it.”

Tooru nodded and pulled out his phone to text their friends but it wasn’t necessary.

“Oikawa! Iwaizumi!” They turned and saw the duo waving at them from the end of the street, and waved them back.

“Hey guys!” Tooru said with a smile. Beside him Hajime simply nodded. “How was the apartment hunting?”

“We found it!” Makki beamed. “Let’s go inside, I’ll show you the pictures!” 

They walked in the restaurant and took a seat. The lunch was pretty uneventful. They messed with each other as they always did while discussing each other’s future plans. They made fun of Tooru’s Spanish accent and Hajime’s lack of knowledge about fraternities and college parties - _I’m going there to study!_ -. Mattsun talked about his new job at his parents’ funeral home and Makki about his economics degree that had just started. They were both staying in Miyagi so they decided to move in together and become _independent and responsible adults_ , as Makki said, causing all of them to burst out laughing because no one could believe that.

“I bet you 1000 yens that you set the kitchen on fire the next week.” Hajime told Mattsun.

“Deal!”

They shook hands and Tooru saw out of the corner of his eye the waitress approaching them.

“Would you like some dessert?” She said while picking up the dishes.

“Yeah, could you bring us four slices of that chocolate cake I saw earlier on the counter?”

“Of course, I’ll be right back.”

When she backed out, Mattsun smacked Makki’s head.

“Hey! That hurts!”

“Four slices? Really? We could have shared!”

“But we’ve never done that!”

“But now we have to save money, Makki!”

Hajime was laughing and Tooru tried to copy him without sounding fake but his mind began spiraling after hearing her mention the dessert. Makki raised an eyebrow at him.

“Are you okay? You’re paler than a corpse.”

“Y-yeah everything’s fine.” At that moment the waitress returned with the cake. He grabbed a spoon and began eating. “Mmmm delicious.”

“Seriously, what’s wrong? You _always_ take a picture of the food before digging in it.” Mattsun frowned.

“Nothing! I’m telling you guys, I’m fine!” But his voice was coming out trembling.

“Oikawa…” Hajime cut Makki’s words with a slam on the table.

“I have to tell you something.” Two pairs of eyes turned to focus on Hajime, who stared back at Makki -he was way less intimidating than Mattsun-. “I’m bisexual.”

The duo opened his eyes wide and didn’t say anything. Tooru looked at his best friend and took a deep breath. He couldn’t leave Hajime behind.

“Yeah, and, ehm…” Then, those two pairs of eyes were on him. He looked at Mattsun. “I’m gay.”

Their mouths formed a silent “o” at the same time and they stayed quiet for a couple minutes. Tooru didn’t know what to think. He felt exposed and vulnerable and his breathing was shaky. Makki and Mattsun looked at Hajime, then at Tooru, and then at each other, letting out a relief sigh. They smiled and Makki caressed Mattsun’s cheek with his thumb. Tooru raised an eyebrow.

“What…”

Then, Mattsun grabbed Makki’s shirt collar to yank him forward and pressed their lips together.

“WHAT THE FUCK?” Hajime screamed.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” Tooru yelled. Mattsun laughed.

“It’s called a kiss, Oikawa. I thought one of your many girlfriends had taught you that.”

“Poor girls, I feel sorry for them now, not knowing that you prefer them bulkier.”

“S-shut up!” Tooru blushed.

“Oh, look at him Issei, he’s all flustered.”

“We broke him, Hiro.” They laughed and Mattsun put an arm around Makki’s shoulders at the same time as he grabbed his chair and sat closer.

Tooru stared at them with new eyes, trying to process everything. Hajime was quiet next to him.

“Since when are you two together?!”

“One year and a half, almost”

Tooru opened his eyes wider. He was shocked. He had been scared shitless in case they couldn’t accept him and turned out they were dating. Two men dating and the world hasn’t ended. He did a mental review of their last year together and realized there were signals everywhere. How they lent each other jackets when it’s cold, how they always shared the ice cream cone, how Mattsun had hugged Makki on the bus back home after their last loss. And now, how Mattsun played with Makki’s hair and how Makki leaned against him, completely relaxed at last. Tooru smiled.

“Well, congratulations, even if it’s too late.” They both laughed.

“Don’t worry, it’s okay. We didn’t know how you were gonna react so we decided it was best to keep it a secret…”

“Yeah, I can relate. I only came out to Iwa-chan last night.”

A strong slam on the table startled them all. 

“I’m so done with all of you.” Hajime pressed two fingers against his frown. “We have to talk about our stuff, okay?!” He had raised his voice and the tables near them had gone silent. His friend all muttered a yes and silence fell upon them until Tooru screeched.

“Please don’t tell me…” He pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes. “Please don’t tell me all those times you guys stayed up late training and offered to close the gym you were actually…” His face turned red. “You know, doing _that_ , in _our_ locker room.” 

Mattsun grinned.

“Right against your locker, captain.” Makki and he fist bumped.

Hajime burst out laughing and Tooru fumed.

“WHY. Why mine?! Why not Iwa-chan’s?!” The aforementioned cleaned some tears that had appeared in the corner of his eyes due to how hard he was laughing. “I mean it! I think I deserve some respect!”

“Well, it was a bit morbid, you know?” Makki bit his lip.

“No, I don’t know!” Tooru hit Hajime on the head and the boy stopped laughing.

“Hey!”

“Iwa-chan, defend my locker!”

* * *

_**3rd September, 2012** _

Tooru had his schedule memorized.

First, overnight flight from Tokyo to Dallas, twelve hours.

Second, having some lunch and running to his gate.

Then, another twelve hours flight from Dallas to Buenos Aires.

Once in Argentina, he’d have to pick up his suitcase and grab a taxi to cross the capital and change airports in less than three hours.

Last, two hours flight from Buenos Aires to San Juan.

He had reviewed it fifty times, and that only on the car ride from his home to Narita airport. If he counted since he’d bought the tickets, he wouldn’t be surprised if it had been more than three hundred times. He had his dictionary and some _pesos_ -more than he thought he’d need in cash but his mother insisted- on his bag. He was nervous, but not in a bad way. It was excitement what he felt.

He took a deep breath and got out of the car. His mother had already taken the suitcase out of the trunk and was talking to Hajime while his sister scolded Takeru. They all came to say goodbye.

“Kazue, please remember that we’ve parked on D4.” Tooru’s sister nodded at their mother.

Tooru grabbed his suitcase and they all went through the revolving doors. He had been there just a couple times when he was much younger but there was no loss. His sister and nephew sat on a bench while his mother and Hajime accompanied him to check his luggage. There were a few people waiting on the queue in front of him. Tooru turned to face his mother and Hajime.

“You can wait with Onee-chan and Takeru if you want. It won’t be long.” His mother gasped, offended.

“Nonsense! I’m not leaving your side until the very last moment!” She grabbed his arm tightly and Hajime chuckled.

“Iwa-chan, save me!” The aforementioned shrugged, smiling.

“Not in the mood.”

Her mother burst out laughing and Tooru pouted.

“You’re so mean Iwa-chan. I’m not gonna miss you at all!”

“Whatever, Shittykawa.” 

His pout grew bigger and his mother tapped him in the shoulder to indicate to him that it was his turn.

Once he was freed from the gigantic suitcase, they walked to the security check. Tooru took a deep breath and prepared for the goodbye. Before he could say anything, a small body crashed into him.

Takeru, who had spent the whole drive complaining, hugged his waist. Tooru looked down and saw his nephew trying to hold his tears. His own eyes began watering and mentally cursed. He had vowed to himself he wouldn’t cry. Takeru giggled when Tooru ruffled his hair and stepped back to look at him.

“Listen to your mother. And keep practicing those jump serves. And don’t worry, I’ll be back sooner than you expect, okay?” His voice cracked and Takeru nodded and stepped back.

Tooru watched as he went to hug his grandmother while Hajime said something that made them both laugh but he couldn’t hear what it was. His sister approached him as he pulled out a tissue to clean his tears.

“I didn’t want to cry.”

“I’m afraid that’s mission impossible today.” Kazue said as she began sobbing as well. She opened his arms and Tooru ran to her. “I’m so proud of you, Tooru.” She tightened her embrace and he kissed her cheek. “Look at you. My little brother is about to conquer the world.”

A lump in his throat made Tooru unable to answer. He stayed there hugging his sister for a few more minutes until he managed to compose himself.

“Take care of mum.” Kazue rolled his eyes.

“As if she needed anyone to look after her.”

The siblings laughed and with a last kiss on the cheek, Kazue went with her son. Then, Tooru looked at his mother. Surprisingly, she wasn’t crying. Her eyes sparkled with affection as she cupped Tooru’s face.

“You’re gonna achieve everything you set your mind to, I’m sure of it. And we’ll be here watching and cheering you all the way.”

“Damn it.” Tooru hugged her and hid his face in the crook of her neck as his body violently shook from the crying.

His fists clawed in her mother’s back while she ran a hand through his back, soothing him, as she had done so many times when Tooru was younger. When he calmed down, she separated a bit and removed his tears with her thumbs.

“Remember, text us when each plane lands and call once you get to San Juan. I don’t care what time it’ll be here, call. And if you need anything -a microwave, or help fixing the shower, or you don’t know how to get the bus card- don’t hesitate and ask José, okay?”

Tooru nodded and kissed her forehead. He watched as his mother grabbed his sister’s and Takeru’s hands and stepped aside to give him and Hajime some privacy. Tooru had insisted that he accompany them. He hadn’t been ready to say goodbye to him the day before. As Hajime stepped closer, Tooru saw a few tears appear in his eyes.

“Not you too, Iwa-chan.”

“You wish, Loserkawa.” He laughed while cleaning the tears with his hand.

They stayed there smiling and looking at each other, not saying a word. They had always been able to communicate without them. But in that moment, when the thought that he wouldn’t hear his voice in person for a long time crossed his mind, Tooru felt the need to speak up.

“I’m scared.”

It was a simple sentence, barely three words, carrying all his fears that Hajime could read so, _so_ well.

“Oikawa, you’ll do great. Argentina doesn’t know what’s about to hit it.” He smirked and Tooru’s mouth flashed him a crooked smile. Hajime was right, he had his doubts whether he’d be good enough, but since he’d come out to his friends, new fears had crept into his mind. 

“Iwa-chan, what if I have to stay in the closet forever?” Tooru had whispered it, afraid anyone could hear him, but he knew Hajime did when his face softened. “I wanna date someone for real this time…” Hajime took a step closer to talk without being heard.

“We looked it up, remember? Argentina has same-sex marriage legalized, so it’s more advanced than Japan.”

“I know, but…”

“I know, I know, that means nothing. People still are fucking homophobes and the sports world is worse, but…” Hajime smiled at him, trying to reassure him. “I think you’ll be okay. And if they find out and don’t accept it then, fuck them, you go back home and think of another plan as you always do.”

Tooru smiled but there was sadness in his eyes.

“And what if _they_ don’t accept me?” He pointed at his family with his chin. “Makki’s parents kicked him out of the house when they found out…”

“Then you come to Irvine with me and we figure it out together.”

There was an explosion of affection in Tooru’s chest when he heard Hajime.

“Thanks, Iwa-chan.”

“Anytime.”

They looked at each other without knowing what else to say. Neither of them wanted to part ways definitely. Their eyes wandered through his best friend’s face, memorizing it. The voice from the speakers said something about a delayed flight, which brought them back to reality. Hajime cleared his throat and raised his fist.

“Remember Shittykawa, rule the court.”

Tooru raised his own.

“Rule the court, Iwa-chan.”

They fist bumped and stood still for a moment before stepping forward at the same time and hugged each other tightly.

“I’m gonna miss you.”

“Me too. So much.”

Tooru stepped back and took a last look at his family before grabbing his backpack and turning his back to them.

A couple days later, he arrived at the small apartment that would become his home for at least the next four years of his contract. He opened the door and smiled. It was exactly as in the pictures his mother and him had seen online, with a few additional touches provided by his coach. Blanco had returned to Argentina a couple months ago and had been helping Tooru with all the formalities such as opening a bank account or meeting his landlord. He knew his mother had his number so Tooru could only assume that the frame that hanged on the wall was her doing. Tooru recognized the photograph. It had been taken last weekend in the park near their house. His mother and sister sat on a bench while Takeru and him made an ugly face behind them. He put out his phone and took a picture.

**_The fantabulous Oikawas_ **

**Tooru**

[imageattached.jpg]

i’m home!

Tooru knew his mother told him to call no matter the time but with a quick calculation he also knew it was four a.m. in Japan and there was no way he’d wake her up.

He kept walking around his new house, examining every little detail. The few boxes they had sent before him were displayed on the floor behind his couch -he really needed to thank Blanco por all his help- and Tooru opened the first one. He let out a relieved sigh when his eyes met the familiar blue sheets and quilt. He was exhausted and even though it was only the afternoon, he needed to sleep. He took them and forgot everything else in his living room, he’d unpack in another time. The only thought on his mind: to test his new bed.

The next day, he woke up like a new man. He checked his phone and saw a few messages and missed phone calls. He rolled his eyes smiling when he saw almost all of them were from his mother and proceeded to call her. After her lecture, she passed the phone to Takeru and Tooru talked to his nephew for a bit before apologizing for having to hang up so soon but he had to meet his new team and he was going to be late. Blanco had asked him to be there half an hour before the others so he could show him the facilities and introduce him to the team properly.

His apartment was in a good neighborhood, at a five-minute distance by foot from the stadium. Tooru grabbed his bag and left. When he set foot in the street, he took a deep breath and looked around. San Juan seemed different than the day before when Tooru arrived after twenty-four hours without sleep, it seemed _alive_. Every street was full of people laughing and talking to each other, and there were delicious smells coming out from a bakery. Tooru made a mental note to go there after practice.

Once he arrived at the stadium, he took another deep breath to calm his nerves before opening the door. He recognized Blanco immediately, standing next to the net post and talking to another man who was wearing the practice uniform. He looked young so maybe he was the other new recruit his coach told him about. Tooru walked closer to them and Blanco smiled when he noticed him approaching.

“Good morning, Tooru!” Tooru widened his eyes at hearing his given name. “Oh, sorry! Oikawa. A couple months here and I’ve already forgotten Japanese traditions.”

“It’s okay, I don’t mind. It just surprised me” Tooru smiled.

“Great.” Blanco stepped aside and put a hand on the man’s shoulder. “This is Diego, our newest opposite hitter.”

“Nice to meet you, Toru.”

He extended his hand and Tooru shook it while biting his tongue not to correct the way he said his name. Diego’s English had a heavy accent but it was understandable and Tooru relaxed a bit. He had feared not being able to talk to his teammates at first. Blanco rummaged through his bag and threw something small at Tooru who caught it right before it hit him in the face.

“Almost forgot it. Your keys. Did your janitor give you the spare set?”

“Yes, without a problem.” Blanco smiled and clapped.

“Okay, then let’s move on to volleyball. CA San Juan has been one of the top Argentinian teams in the league but it’s always in second place against Bolívar. I think we can change that with you two. Tooru, you’re one of the best young setters I’ve ever seen playing but you’re not your best version yet. Diego, you’re good at both offense and defense but I know you can _excel_ at them. I’m trying to turn you two into an unstoppable duo.”

Tooru and Diego looked at each other and the latter smiled.

“Fine by me.”

“Let’s wreck them.” Tooru smirked.

The doors opened and a group of the loudest men Tooru had ever heard appeared. He gulped. Time for more introductions.

* * *

_**14th September, 2012** _

Hajime took a deep breath before stepping into American grounds for the first time. He had parted from Narita airport ten hours ago, after saying goodbye to his parents and grandmother. He’d never admit having cried when she told him how proud she was.

He remembered the countless hours spent convincing his family that studying abroad was an excellent opportunity, specifically in Irvine where his idol Takashi Utsui worked. They knew their son wanted to become an athlete trainer -his generous and caring nature, something they were very proud of- but they hoped he stayed in Miyagi, or at least Japan. Eventually, they reached an agreement. Four years over there getting his degree and then he’d return, unless he found a job. Hajime had accepted immediately.

And finally, there he was, in the “great” USA. He wasn’t very fond of the country but he had no choice. He wanted to meet Utsui and learn everything he could from him. He managed to get a taxi and the driver helped him put his suitcases in the trunk. Then, Hajime got in the car and proceeded to enjoy the ride, trying to admire the views although it was mostly buildings and asphalt.

A concession he had to make was not to live in the dorms. His parents didn’t want him to spend his time going to parties so they had searched online and found a shared flat close to his class building. His new roommate, Susan, seemed nice. They had talked a bit during last month and agreed to meet on the street door so she could help Hajime with his bags. He had to admit he was a bit nervous. He wasn’t a social butterfly like Oikawa or Makki, but at least his English was good so they’d be able to communicate -he knew how Oikawa was suffering down in San Juan-.

After an hour-long drive, the taxi rounded the corner of the street and the building facade he’d seen online appeared in front of him. The cab pulled over and Hajime took out his phone.

**To: Susan Roommate**

Hey, I’ve arrived

I’m on the street

**From: Susan Roommate**

Great! Coming!

Hajime took a deep breath and got out of the car to grab the two suitcases he had brought with him. He was paying when a short brunette appeared through the doors. Hajime bowed to the taxi driver and turned around.

“Kon’nichiwa! Yokoso!” Susan exclaimed and threw herself at Hajime who immediately tensed. She felt it and stepped back. “Oh my God, I’m sorry!” Susan bowed down a little and Hajime chuckled.

“Don’t worry, it’s okay. I should get used to it. You didn’t mention you speak Japanese.”

“Oh!” Susan blushed a bit. “Actually, I don’t. I just practiced those two words to show some courtesy.”

“Well, thanks. I appreciate it.”

She smiled and held the door for him to walk in. Their apartment was on the eighth floor so Susan called the elevator and they waited. She turned around and looked at him.

“So, how was your flight?”

“Fine, but I couldn’t sleep at all.”

“Agh, I get it. I can’t sleep on planes either. Or trains. Or buses.” She laughed. “I sometimes get some sleep on cars but I never count on it, so it’s mostly only my bed.”

Susan seemed to never shut up, or maybe she was just as nervous as Hajime. In any case, he internally thanked her.

The door of the elevator opened and they stepped into a corridor with four doors. Susan walked in front of him.

“Ours is the C one.” They approached the door and she handed him a small object. “These are your keys. The one with the round head is for the front door, the green one is for the apartment and the smaller one is for the mailbox downstairs.”

“Great, thanks.” Susan looked at him, expectantly.

“Come on, open the door!”

Hajime smiled and stepped forward. He put the key into the lock and turned his wrist. The door opened and he was greeted by the sight of a luminous and full of boxes living room.

“I haven’t finished unpacking yet.” Susan said closing the door behind him.

“No problem, I’ll help you. Did you get the bank transfer?”

“Yes! I think I’ve bought everything we need but we can go over the list later.”

Hajime nodded. Susan had arrived two days earlier by car with her father and they had filled the apartment with sheets, towels, a new crockery… There was even a cactus by the window. Hajime said he trusted their good taste and sent her the money later.

“Your room is the left one. I’ve left your sheets on the mattress.”

Hajime walked to the room Susan indicated and finally dropped the bags on the floor. His new bedroom was smaller than the one he had in Japan, but he had his own bathroom so he wasn't complaining. He yawned and Susan giggled.

“Take a nap, I’ll wake you up for dinner.”

“Thanks.”

He sank on his mattress without bothering to make the bed and fell asleep right after sending a text to his parents.

Hajime woke up a couple hours later due to the ringing next to his ear. He stretched himself on the bed and checked his phone. He smiled and answered his mother's call. It helped him get out of the slumber and after half an hour of _I miss you, I love you, yes, I’m okay, Susan is nice_ he hung up after rolling his eyes at his father.

He stood up and shyly opened his door. He heard noises in the kitchen so he walked over there, calling for Susan not to surprise her. His roommate was finishing getting the dishes out of the box.

“Right on time! Could you please put this on that cupboard?”

“Sure. Are there any more boxes left?”

“Nope, this is the last one.”

“Thank goodness I was going to help you.” They burst out laughing leaving their small kitchen.

Hajime stood there a little uncomfortable but Susan saved him once more.

“Why don’t we order some pizza and get to know each other? And we have to set some rules.”

“Yeah, that’s perfect.”

She walked to her room to grab her phone and Hajime sat down on the couch. It was comfortable and big enough for three people. He took a deep breath trying to calm himself. Susan plunked herself next to him.

“So, what do you want?”

“Oh, I eat everything and I don’t have any allergies, so, you decide.”

“Hajime.” She smirked. “Help me a bit, would you?”

Hajime blushed, not only because she had said his given name but because she was right. He had to be more collaborative.

“Well, I crave pepperoni. And one with pepper and olives. Please.” He stuttered.

Susan laughed and called the franchise while getting lost in the kitchen. She returned with two beers and handed one to Hajime.

“To loosen up.” They toasted and Susan sat facing him. “They said it’s gonna take twenty to thirty minutes so why don’t we talk about the rules meanwhile?”

“Excellent idea. What have you thought?” Hajime asked and took a sip.

“Well, nothing too weird. I just think that since we don’t own a dishwasher, each one should clean their own after using them.”

“Yeah, that’s reasonable.”

“And the same for our bedrooms and bathrooms. We could clean the shared areas together on Sundays, if that’s okay with you?”

“Good idea, and we could exchange, you know? One day I take over the kitchen and the next weekend, the living room.” Susan beamed.

“Yes! That’s what I thought!”

Hajime smiled and they toasted again. Susan raised a finger while drinking her beer, suddenly remembering something.

“One more thing. Visitors.” Hajime nodded to let her know he was listening. “I don’t know your relationship status but I’d appreciate it if you let me know beforehand if your girlfriend or boyfriend is staying the night.” He spit out his sip and coughed. Susan patted him on the back, biting her lip. “Sorry, did I say something wrong?”

“No, no, but, ehm, how did you know…? I’m… Both…” Hajime stuttered through his words. Susan frowned and Hajime sighed. “I’m bisexual.” It was the third time he had said that word out loud and it still sounded weird. Susan opened her eyes wide.

“Oh! I-I didn’t know.” Then, her gaze softened and she smiled at him. Hajime was flushed and seemed nervous. “You don’t need to be scared of me, I’m not gonna kick you out. Hell, I should kick myself out too then, if you know what I mean.”

She winked at him and Hajime let out the air in his lungs he didn’t know he was holding. He took another sip and sank deeper on the couch.

“Shit, that was intense.”

“It’s been barely ten seconds of conversation, Hajime.”

“Shut up.” They both laughed and toasted again.

Later that night, he was lying on his bed after learning everything about Susan, and when Hajime said everything, he meant _everything_. From her hometown - _I’m from Forks, Washington State and yes, it’s the one from Twilight_ \- to her favorite singer - _Taylor Swift is a goddess and I’m gonna turn you into a swiftie Hajime, just give me some time!_

He picked up his cellphone and opened the messages app.

**From: Shittykawa**

[imageattached.jpg]

this is impossible iwa-chan

Hajime laughed at the face full of hopelessness on his screen.

**To: Shittykawa**

Give it time

Spanish is complicated

**From: Shittykawa**

iwa-chaaaaaaaaaaan <3

are you settled in already?

how’s susan?

TELL ME EVERYTHING

wait

i’ll call u

**_Incoming call from Shittykawa_ **

Hajime rolled his eyes with a smile on his face and answered.

* * *

_**4th October, 2012** _

Tooru was walking home with Diego one early spring day after practice, when the solution to all his language-related issues appeared in the form of Diego’s girlfriend.

“Have I told you about Andrea yet?” Tooru nodded. He had mentioned her girlfriend several times. “I talked to her about you a lot.”

“You talk about me?” Tooru raised an eyebrow.

“Of course. You're my friend.” 

Tooru smiled. He and Diego had bonded almost immediately, due to being the newbies and living near each other. Most days they walked together after training. Diego was nice, he sometimes reminded Tooru of Watari, always with a smile on his face and a helping hand ready. The first few weeks had been tough, there was no sugar-coating way of putting it. Tooru spent the days focused on playing volleyball, learning Spanish, and trying not to burn his house down learning to cook. He felt lonely. Communication with his teammates was hard, except for the few of them who knew English, so he avoided talking about anything other than practice, and of course he never texted in the group chat. Diego noticed him closing in and one day he proposed to the team to go partying and forced Tooru to accept. After that night, the CA San Juan baptized Héctor, Diego and Tooru as the terrible trio.

“You know, she’s a teacher.” Tooru blinked, returning to reality. “And she’s finally settled in so we thought she could help you learn Spanish.” Tooru stopped walking and looked at Diego, who looked back at him with a big smile on his face. “Thrice a week. Monday, Wednesday and Thursday after practice. Those are the days she doesn’t have class, what do you think?”

“I don’t wanna be a bother…” Tooru squeezed the strap of his backpack and bit his lip.

“Nonsense.” Diego snorted. “And besides, that way she gains experience for the future.”

  
Honestly, it would help Tooru _a lot_. He’d been doing fine, with his textbooks and apps and practicing with every person he could, and he was learning fast -he’s been a great student all his life- but a teacher could give him the final push he needed. They argued for a while on the street in front of Tooru’s apartment because Diego refused to let him pay and Tooru kept insisting. The discussion reached its end when Tooru’s neighbor Lucia arrived at the doorway carrying her groceries and Tooru ran to help her, giving Diego the perfect moment to disappear.

* * *

_**31st October, 2012** _

The loud music could perfectly be heard from the street, and there were people drinking, dancing and making out all over the front yard. Hajime saw the lights of the police cars approaching and began running. If he was caught, his parents would come to kick him back to Japan.

A classmate had invited him to a party in someone’s house and he had accepted. He wasn’t fond of those kinds of parties but it seemed like a good opportunity to socialize and get to know his classmates more. He was fiercely regretting that decision while hiding in an alley behind a dumpster with two people who had introduced themselves as Carol and Peter earlier that night. They were together in most classes and seemed nice, although the boy was a bit loud.

Hajime peaked an eye over the container. The police cars were still patrolling the area. He turned to face his sidekicks.

“They’re still out there. Looks like we’re gotta stay here for a while.”

Peter said something incomprehensible from the floor and closed his eyes.

“Nononono. Pete, stay awake.” Carol crouched and gave him soft slaps on the face. The boy blinked a couple times and eventually kept them open. Carol sighed and stood next to Hajime.

“Sorry about him. His girlfriend just broke up with him and the idiot drank half a bottle of rum on his own.” Hajime grimaced.

“God, I hate rum.”

“Me too!” Carol laughed. “I’m more of a gin girl myself.”

“Go gin team!” Hajime and Carol high-fived while laughing. On the floor, Peter whined.

“Please, don’t talk about alcohol.”

“I can talk about the paper we have to finish before Tuesday if you want.” Hajime grinned and Peter wailed.

They stayed there for an hour, getting to know each other better in whispers -mostly Hajime and Carol since Peter was too drunk-. Once they decided it was safe to get out, Hajime helped Peter standing and held him still while Carol put one of his arms around her shoulders and Hajime mimicked her. Peter grunted when they began walking.

“Stop, stop, please, stop.”

“No way Pete.”

“Where does he live?” Hajime asked Carol while dragging the boy.

“Next to the economics building.”

“Guys, I swear, if you don’t stop, I’m gonna puke.”

“No, you’re not.” Carol threatened him.

They had barely taken five steps when Peter bent over himself and, as he had warned, emptied his stomach on Hajime’s trainers.

  
Hajime _really_ regretted that night.

* * *

_**29th November, 2012** _

_I’m late. I’m late. I’m late. Shit, I’m late._

Tooru was late. He blamed Mattsun, who had insisted on doing a house tour of Makki’s and his apartment now that the renovations had finished.

He closed his laptop and took his gym bag, putting in everything he needed for training. Once he got to the street, he realized he had forgotten his towel but he had no time to come back. He decided he’d take the shower at home.

Tooru arrived at the doors all sweaty and with the perfect excuse at the tip of his tongue, but when he got into the gym, he didn’t see anyone practicing. They were all surrounding Hugo, hugging and congratulating him. Tooru didn’t know what was happening and approached his captain.

“What did I miss?” He asked Pedro. He simply smiled and called Hugo who hopped to them.

“I’m getting married, Toru!” He handed him an invitation and Tooru beamed.

“Oh my god, congratulations Hugo!” They hugged, brief but tightly, and then Hugo turned around.

“And you’re all invited to a barbeque next Sunday to meet Lucio!” Tooru frowned. That was a man’s name.

“Lucio?” Next to him, Pedro nodded.

“He’s Hugo’s boyfriend.” Then, he smiled. “Well, fiancé now.”

“Wait, boyfriend?” They all turned their heads to look at him and Tooru could swear some gazes hardened. “As in… a man?”

Tooru felt hostile eyes on his nape but he could only look at Hugo. He was sure he had understood it correctly, but somehow his mind couldn’t believe it. A man marrying another man. A man _loving_ another man, and his team couldn’t care less. They were even excited to attend the wedding.

_I think you’ll be okay_

“Are you…?” His mouth couldn’t form the word. Hugo sighed. There was hurt in his eyes.

“Yes, I’m gay. Toru, I consider you my friend, and I know Japan is very traditional and all that-” His words were cut by Tooru’s hug.

The whole team opened his eyes in shock as they watched their setter beginning to sob hiding in Hugo’s neck. Whispers of _me too, me too_ leaving his parted lips. Hugo exhaled, relaxing his tense muscles and tightened the embrace.

“It’s okay, it’s okay, let it all out. We’re here, we’re your team, we’ll always have your back.”

Blanco ordered the rest of them to go change to begin the practice while Tooru stayed there in Hugo’s arms letting all his fears abandon him through his eyes.

* * *

Tooru was sitting in front of his computer, contemplating the intricate but beautiful calligraphy with which the names of Hugo and Lucio were written on the wedding invitation, waiting for his best friend to accept the Skype call.

He chuckled remembering how Diego had smacked his head and called him _a fucking pelotudo_ with a smile on his face once he had rejoined them after changing outfits. No one made another comment, but they didn’t need to. Tooru knew they were with him. Many years later, he’d still remember that day as the day he began feeling at home.

Hajime appeared on screen and Tooru looked up from the card to smile at him.

“Good night, Iwa-chan!”

“Night, Oikawa.” Hajime quickly noticed the way Tooru’s eyes sparkled. “What’s up? You’re happier than usual.”

“Look!” Tooru pressed the invitation to the laptop camera and Hajime chuckled.

“Not that close, Shittykawa. I can’t see anything.” Tooru drew it away a bit and Hajime narrowed his eyes. “Is that a wedding invitation?”

“Yes!” Tooru beamed. “Look at the names!” Hajime couldn’t do anything but smile before Tooru’s excitement. Once he read the card, he understood why Tooru was acting like that.

“Told you you’d be okay.” Hajime smiled.

“I can’t believe it. I’m- God, I’ve never been more embarrassed. I cried, Iwa-chan, I cried! But what was I supposed to do?!”

Tooru kept babbling about his day and Hajime simply looked at him, happy to watch his best friend smiling for real after a couple complicated months. Tooru only paused his chatter when Hajime went to prepare his dinner and continue when he returned. Hajime was happy to see that their relationship hadn’t changed a bit, even when they were separated by thousands of kilometers instead of thirteen steps. He didn’t know what he’d do if he somehow lost Tooru.

_Wait, Tooru?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like it! Comment your thoughts!
> 
> This fanfic now has fan art thanks to the wonderful Irene! Check it [here!](https://twitter.com/inrendne/status/1309640460067991552)
> 
> I have a lot of side stories planned (such as MattsuHana) so this fanfic now is a series o.o


	9. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the spring break of 2013, Iwaizumi Hajime visits his best friend in San Juan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I'm sorry it took this long but THIS CHAPTER GOT OUT OF MY HANDS. This one and the next were supposed to go together but omg, this one is 11k words long (it's the longest chapter for now!)  
> Anyway I hope you like it and I'll try to bring you the next ones as soon as I can!!

**_March, 2013._ **

Hajime was pissed. His flight to San Juan had been delayed and no one knew what time it’d take off, meaning he couldn’t close his eyes just for five minutes because he needed to pay attention to the electronic board in front of him. He’d been awake since the morning before and he just wanted to get there and sleep at last.

He sighed and texted Tooru. Yes, _Tooru_. He had stopped fighting his mind a couple months ago and accepted that living in the USA was changing some of his manners. He’d bitten his tongue several times already, especially last Christmas when they met again back in Japan, and he decided it’d be best to talk to him about it. He thought Tooru truly wouldn’t mind, and it wasn’t as if Hajime called him by his name usually. He mostly referred to his best friend with a variety of lovely nicknames as Shittykawa, Crappykawa or Loserkawa. Hajime smiled to himself. He was proud of his nine-year-old self for coming up with them.

**To: Tooru**

Flight delayed

Don’t hurry after practice

Hajime decided to have a huge cup of coffee -he was about to collapse on the airport floor- and buy a magazine to entertain himself. Sadly, all of the interesting ones were in Spanish so he had to pick a gossip one. It was that or Vogue and at least he could recognize some people from the cover of _Hello!_

He was so focused on the anecdotes of the Oscars that only when the crowd around him began moving he realized they had announced their new embarking gate. He put away the magazine in his backpack and followed them, not without picking up his phone again. He had one unread message.

**From: Tooru**

sorry to hear that :(

tell me the new time when you know

**To: Tooru**

Hey

Boarding now

See you in about three hours

**From: Tooru**

great!

see you iwa-chan!

i’ll be under the arrivals sign :3

And there he was. It was impossible not to see him, with his arms extended over his head and holding a cardboard with “Iwa-chan <3” written on it. Tooru waved at him excitedly and screamed.

“ _¡Bienvenido a Argentina, Iwa-chan!_ ”

Everybody turned to look at them and Hajime facepalmed himself. He approached Tooru and pinched him in the side and he squirmed.

“Mean, Iwa-chan! Mean! That’s how you greet your best friend?” Tooru pouted.

“It’s been too long since I hit you, I needed to do it.” Hajime smiled.

“You’re a barbarian, a brute, a caveman. What did I do to deserve this? I’m a nice person, I demand a nice treatment…” Tooru kept babbling and Hajime sighed.

“I’m too tired for this. Please, just let’s go.”

“Okay, okay.” Tooru chuckled and pointed to their left. “The taxi rank is over there.”

On the ride to Tooru’s flat, they talked about his practice that day. Hajime was trying his best to stay awake and pay attention and of course Tooru noticed. He ordered him to close his eyes but Hajime refused, explaining he didn’t believe he could wake up after. Tooru laughed and resumed his story.

They finally arrived in front of Tooru’s apartment and Hajime got out to get his suitcase while Tooru paid the driver. Once he had his belongings, Hajime waited for Tooru to show him the way. The brunet walked in front of him, humming an unknown song, with the sign under his armpit. Tooru put out the keys from the pocket and opened the gate. He held the door while Hajime walked by him dragging his suitcase. Once inside, Tooru passed by him, grinning, and began climbing the stairs.

“Let’s go, Iwa-chan!” The aforementioned stayed still frowning.

“Isn’t your apartment on the fourth floor?”

“Yep.”

“Why don’t we take the lift?”

“There’s no lift.” Tooru’s smug smile grew wider.

“No lift?”

“No lift.” Tooru clapped. “Come on Iwa-chan, show me you’re still fit.”

Hajime whined and grabbed his suitcase. Four floors later, they arrived at Tooru’s door, who turned to look at Hajime with a soft smile on his lips.

“Welcome to my home, Iwa-chan.”

Tooru opened the door and Hajime stepped in. He looked around and then at Tooru.

“I must say, I’m disappointed.” Tooru frowned and Hajime grinned. “I was expecting at least one alien poster.” Tooru burst out laughing.

“It’s in the bedroom, Iwa-chan.” Tooru began walking to his room and Hajime followed.

As promised, there it was. His iconic “I want to believe” poster hanging on the wall above the headboard. Hajime would bet his right hand it was the first thing Tooru had packed. He left his suitcase on the bed and yawned. Tooru laughed while picking up his pillow. He turned to look at Hajime.

“Well, the bed is yours. Sleep all you need. I’ll be on the couch.” Hajime frowned.

“What are you doing?”

“My cushions aren’t as comfortable as this pillow.” Tooru answered as if it was obvious.

“But… What… Why aren’t you gonna sleep on your bed?” Tooru raised an eyebrow and tilted his head, amused.

“Because you’re my guest, perhaps? It’s rude to make your visitors sleep on the couch, Iwa-chan. Should I call Auntie and tell her his son’s manners?” Hajime rolled his eyes and was about to answer when Tooru kept going. “Besides, you wanted us to stop sleeping together, remember? When we turned fifteen.”

“Because the futon was too small, you dumbass!” Hajime couldn’t believe his best friend’s stupidity. “Now you have a king size bed! You can’t sleep on the couch, it’s bad for your back! And your neck! You’re an athlete! you have to take care of yourself!” Tooru grinned.

“Oh, I missed Iwa-chan’s mum mode.” Hajime let out an exasperated sigh.

“Whatever, Shittykawa.” He opened his suitcase looking for his pyjamas and Tooru threw the pillow on the mattress. Then, he proceeded to collect his laptop and his notes.

“I’ll try not to wake you later. _Buenas noches, Iwa-chan_.” Tooru singsonged.

“G’night.” Hajime managed to answer in the middle of another yawn. He had practiced enough Spanish with Tooru to understand that simple expression.

Tooru closed the door and Hajime undressed, feeling like the last scraps of his strength abandoned him. He was beginning to come to terms with the fact that he’ll never be able to sleep on a plane. He put his bag on the floor and looked at the bed, wondering which side Tooru preferred. He saw a phone charger and the glasses case with cute aliens faces on it on the left nightstand so he pulled the sheets from the right side and sank on Tooru’s cozy bed.

Hajime’s sleep was so deep he didn’t even wake up when Tooru screeched after hitting his pinky toe with the bathroom door a couple hours later.

* * *

Tooru woke up that Friday morning on the edge of his bed. He looked behind him and saw Hajime splayed completely and drooling. The thought of kicking him and awakening him crossed his mind but he shook his head and decided he deserved all the sleep he could get. After all, Hajime had spent the last two days in airports just for him, the least Tooru could do was to let him sleep.

He got out of bed slowly, and walked to his bathroom to get ready for practice. Every morning the same routine. Wash his face, put on contact lenses, style his hair, breakfast, brush his teeth, grab his keys and his already prepared bag and leave. That morning was like the others, with the exception of the note he left for Hajime on the bedside table, informing him of his returnal hour. 

It felt a bit sour to leave him there when Hajime had promised him he’d go and watch him but Tooru understood his tiredness. Besides, he was going to the match on Saturday. 

Tooru locked his front door trying to make the least noise possible and jogged to the stadium. He waved at the teammates that were already there and walked to the locker rooms to get changed. Once in his practice uniform, he joined them while the rest got there.

“Hey Toru, where’s Iwa-chan?” one teammate asked.

“Sleeping, he was too tired.”

A smile appeared on Tooru’s face, remembering. Diego and Héctor looked at each other with a raised eyebrow and, grinning, they walked to Tooru.

“Soooo…” Héctor started. “Did you have those bruises on your knees yesterday, Toru?”

“Ehm, yes.” Tooru frowned. “I tripped on a curb. You were there and laughed for half an hour, Héctor.”

“Ignore him. Did you have a good night, Toru?” Diego counterattacked.

“Well, yes, really good actually.” His friends bent over laughing and Tooru’s frown grew bigger. “What am I missing?”

“Oh, _really good_?”

“Bet it was, after months of not seeing each other.”

Tooru was getting pissed. A teammate placed a hand on his shoulders and he turned to look at him.

“They’re implying you had sex with Iwa-chan.”

Tooru opened his eyes in shock and all the blood in his body ran to his face. He grabbed the collar of his shirt to cover it.

“What is wrong with you?!”

“I’m sorry Toru!” Diego chuckled. “It’s just, the way you talk about him…”

“Cause he’s my best friend, maybe?!” Tooru raised his head. “I’ve known him all my life! Literally! His mother took him to the hospital two hours after I was born!”

“We know but-”

“How dare you put those images in my mind?!”

Tooru grabbed two balls and threw one to each of the bastards that were laughing at his expense. At that moment, Blanco arrived, catching him red-handed. He yelled at the players -Héctor complained he didn’t do anything but his coach didn’t believe a word- and ordered them to run around the stadium three times.

Luckily, the rest of the practice passed by without any other incident -Tooru had served a ball straight to Diego’s face but that had been purely unintentional or so he swore. He took his bag and said goodbye, but not without begging them to behave the next day at the match.

“Iwa-chan, I’m back!”

He arrived at his flat in five minutes. Tooru stood on the entrance, not hearing anything, and then walked to his bedroom. He smirked. Hajime was exactly like he left him, except there was more drool on the pillow. Trying to not wake him up, Tooru took a cushion that laid on the floor and climbed on his bed. He took a deep breath.

“Wakeupwakeupwakeupwakeup!” Tooru hit him repeatedly with the pillow. Hajime gasped.

“What the hell?”

He dramatically dropped on top of Hajime’s stomach, who coughed.

“Good morning, Iwa-chan!” Hajime whined and pushed his shoulder.

“Fuck, Tooru, go away.” Hajime had closed his eyes again, so he didn’t see Tooru widening his, and the light red that tainted his cheeks. Hajime felt him raising up and grinned. “Wow, I can’t believe you listened to me.” He opened his eyes and realized Tooru was staring at him in shock and blushed.

“What did you just call me?”

Tooru knelt beside him, holding the cushion with which he had awakened him. Hajime felt his big eyes examining him. He gulped.

“Shit. Ehm, well, everyone here calls you that, and in Irvine I’ve gotten used to given names and-”

“I like it.” Tooru smiled. “Hajime.”

Tooru said his name slowly, punctuating each syllable. It was Hajime’s time to become red. They remained in silence, staring at each other, until Hajime yawned and Tooru laughed.

“I’m gonna take a shower, try not to be asleep when I come back or there’ll be consequences.” 

Tooru got up from the bed and threw the pillow to Hajime’s face one last time before disappearing into the bathroom. Hajime hugged the plushie and closed his eyes, for just five minutes. He opened them half an hour later when Tooru smacked his face with a towel.

“Iwa-chan!” He whined. “You came here to spend time with me! Stop sleeping!”

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry!”

“I’m gonna turn on the washer. You get dressed and then I’ll take you to my favorite place for lunch.” Tooru smiled, excitedly, and began walking out of the bedroom.

“Lunch? I haven’t had breakfast, and didn’t you have practice?” Tooru stopped his feet and looked at Hajime, amused.

“You should really check the time, Hajime.”

The name felt weird on Tooru’s tongue. It could perfectly be the sixth time he said it out loud in his whole life. To him, Hajime Iwaizumi first was Ha-chan and when they grew up, Iwa-chan. He wouldn’t deny having thought of calling him _Hajime_ since he arrived in Argentina, like he wouldn’t deny the weird flip his heart had made when Hajime’s voice delivered his name. It should be strange, but as everything between them, it felt natural.

Tooru was finishing washing the dishes when Hajime left the room, carrying his backpack and a wrapped package he was trying to put inside. Tooru grinned.

“Oh, what are you hiding, Iwa-chan? Did you bring me a present?” Hajime rolled his eyes.

“Yes, Shittykawa, I brought you something.” Tooru dried his hands with the cloth next to the sink and tried to grab Hajime’s arm, but he ducked him.

“Nope, not happening. You’ll have to wait.”

“Until when?” Tooru pouted.

“After lunch.” Hajime zipped the bag and hanged it on his shoulder while Tooru squinted his eyes at him.

“Is it edible?”

“I’m not giving you any clues.”

“So it is.”

“Tooru…”

It worked. At the mention of his name, Tooru startled, a shiver ran through his body, and he forgot everything about the supposed present.

“O-Okay.” Hajime’s face drew a smug smile.

“So that’s all it took for you to shut up? I might use this trick more often.” He stepped closer. “Tooru.”

Tooru narrowed his eyes, trying to keep his composure. 

“Two can play this game, Hajime.”

He whispered the name into his ear as he passed by to go to the bedroom and grab his phone and wallet. When he returned, Hajime was waiting for him, leaning on the table, with his arms crossed over his chest, seemingly imperturbable. If only he knew.

Tooru led the way. He hadn’t told him much about his destination, only that it was a place that his teammates showed him that served the best Pachatas, a gastronomic icon from San Juan, and that it was located near the theatre.

As they walked, Hajime took in all the differences between Irvine and Tooru’s new home. Irvine was green, full of residential houses, meanwhile San Juan was drier, louder, full of small businesses. All in all, livelier. The streets were filled with people. People that kept talking to Tooru. He was so absorbed he didn’t realize that, practically at every corner, they slowed down so Tooru could have a brief conversation with someone. At that moment, he was chatting with a woman standing at the door of a fruit store. Hajime didn’t know enough Spanish to follow the conversation but he did understand when they told each other _see you soon!_

“You know a lot of people, don’t you?”

“Yes! Iwa-chan, you noticed?” Hajime nodded and Tooru smiled. “Well, as you know, I spent the first couple months walking around town and learning the city.” Hajime nodded again, to let him know he remembered. “After a few weeks of classes with Andrea, I began trying to talk to as many people I could to practice, and as you know, I’m a charmer, so now practically everybody in the neighborhood knows me.” As he said that, he waved to an old man that was smoking in front of a bar. “I’m the cute Asian kid that plays volleyball.”

Hajime snorted and looked up at the sky. Tooru bumped his shoulders.

“What is it?”

“You’ve grown up so much in just a few months…” He looked at Tooru. “I’m proud of you, Shittykawa.” Tooru blushed.

“Thanks, Iwa-chan.” They walked in silence a bit more. “I’m proud of you too, you know?”

“Wait until I got my grades, please.”

They both burst out laughing. They had missed it. The familiar presence beside them, the coziness, the ease, the bickering, the chat about nothing and everything.

As Tooru had promised, the Pachata was _delicious_ , it’d been a while since Hajime had tasted something better than agedashi tofu but he had to admit the sandwich had made room in his heart. Hajime moaned after taking a generous bite and he was so focused that he didn’t realize Tooru had put out his phone until it was too late. He leaned forward to hit Tooru’s head but the bastard had improved his reflexes and dodged him easily.

“You’re losing your faculties, Iwa-chan.”

“Shut up, dumbass.” Hajime smiled and finished eating. He licked his fingers and Tooru laughed at him. “Keep laughing and I won’t give you your present.” Tooru’s eyes shined and closed his mouth, though it was visible by the tremble of his lips that he was mentally chuckling. Hajime decided to be benevolent. “Better.”

He pulled out the package from his bag and Tooru dropped the fry he was about to eat and eagerly launched himself forward to grab it. Hajime snorted watching Tooru rip the paper effusively. When he discovered what was inside, Hajime swore he saw a tear on the corner of his eye.

“Oh. My. God.”

“I know.” Hajime grinned.

“How… Where…”

“There’s this huge Japanese supermarket in LA, Marukai. That’s where I bought it.”

“Hajime you’re the best!” Tooru stood up and walked around the table to tackle his best friend who almost fell off the chair.

“Shittykawa, behave!”

“Shut up! You brought me my precious milk bread! Let me hug you!” Hajime rolled his eyes but hugged him back.

After a couple minutes, Tooru returned to his seat and opened the box with the biggest smile on his face. Hajime watched as he took one piece and squeezed it gently, checking the texture. He knew Tooru preferred it extremely soft and fluffy, and by the way his eyes were sparkling, he approved of it. The next step was the smell. Tooru brought the slice closer to his nose and his eyes filled with nostalgia as the milky scent flooded his nostrils. Taste was the only thing left. Hajime saw him taking a bite, smiling, then, smiling a bit less as he began chewing, frowning and, finally, grabbing a napkin to throw it.

“Don’t you dare bring this again.”

“Is it that bad?” Hajime took the slice from Tooru’s hand and bit it. He immediately understood him and grabbed his napkin. “Shit, this is awful.”

“Here, take some fries.”

“Thank goodness you didn’t finish them.”

“Iwa-chaaaan.” Tooru whined. “How could you do this to me? You ruined my milk bread!”

“I did nothing! I bought it like that!” Hajime looked at the expiration date on the box. “It’s not expired! Why does it taste like that?!”

“I don’t knoooow” More whining. “But-” Tooru pointed a finger at him “You owe me.” Hajime snorted.

“What do you want me to do, Shittykawa?”

“Oh, nothing for now.” He grinned. “It’s been a while since you owe me something, I have to think about it thoroughly.”

Hajime shook his head, smiling, and ate another fry, trying to get his palate to forgive him. They left the place after an argument about who should pay that ended when Tooru, with almost perfect Spanish, threatened the waiter with not coming back if he took Hajime’s money.

They threw the milk bread box in the container at the door and headed to Parque de Mayo. It pleasantly surprised Hajime to find that oasis in the middle of a concrete city. Tooru explained that he usually jogged there, even if it was a little far from his house, and Hajime could understand why. There were wide and comfortable signalized paths with tall trees on the sides, so they were always in the shade. There was a lake in the middle and there was where Tooru led them. They put out the towels they carried on Hajime’s backpack and splayed them out on the grass. They laid on their backs with their hands crossed on their stomach, ready to get some rest.

There was a light breeze, and the sun was covered. The slight background murmur due to families strolling or people riding a bike wasn’t loud, it didn’t bother him. Hajime was in glory.

“What do you think of San Juan, Iwa-chan?” Tooru asked with his eyes closed. Hajime looked at him, he was smiling, his face the perfect definition of _at peace_.

“I think it suits you, somehow.”

Tooru’s smile grew bigger, but he didn’t open his eyes. Hajime stared at him a while longer, before looking up at the sky. It was different from Irvine. Maybe it was because there he only laid on the grass to read something for class, or maybe it was the surroundings. His university’s park was filled with stressed students working frantically on his laptop with a posture that would send them to the physiotherapist in a couple years while there, if he turned his head, he’d see a kid feeding bread to the fishes. Suddenly, Hajime heard some snoring and looked at Tooru. He was deeply asleep. Hajime chuckled and decided not to wake him.

Tooru opened his eyes by himself an hour later. He blinked a couple times to get rid of the dizziness and yawned, drawing Hajime’s attention.

“Good morning, Sleepykawa.” His tone was mocking and Tooru ignored him, stretching out and rolling on his side to face him.

“Sorry for falling asleep.”

“Don’t mind.” Hajime shrugged and went back to look at his phone with a smug smile.

“What are you looking at?” The end of the sentence was cut by a yawn but it was understandable.

“I sent Makki and Mattsun a picture of you sleeping. Makki said you looked like a dead man and Mattsun’s just sent the catalogue of the coffins he had available for us to pick one and bury you.”

“You’re all so mean!” Tooru whined and Hajime laughed.

Tooru closed his eyes again and Hajime kicked him.

“Don’t go back to sleep.”

“Just five more minutes.”

“You have a match tomorrow; you have to rest _tonight_.”

“Such a mum, Iwa-chan…” Tooru mumbled, earning another kick. “Ouch! Okay, okay!”

“Let’s go back to the apartment.” Hajime stated while standing up and removed the grass on his hoodie.

Tooru yawned again before mimicking him. They shook off the towels and put them back on the bag. They spent the entire walk texting their friends, who had just returned from a party and were a little bit tipsy. Tooru pouted all the way back home because they kept mocking him while Hajime couldn’t do anything but laugh.

When they arrived at the building, they found Emilio, the janitor, sweeping the entrance. He greeted them and told Tooru something that Hajime didn’t understand. Later, Tooru explained he was just wishing him good luck for the match. They began walking up the stairs and when they got to Tooru’s door, the opposite one opened.

“ _Ay, Toru, me pareció oírte._ ” An old lady stepped out of her house and walked to them smiling.

“ _Buenas tardes Lu, mirá, ¡este es Iwa-chan!_ ” Tooru beamed and stepped aside so the woman could look Hajime up and down.

“ _¡Iwa-chan!¡Toru me habló mucho de vos!_ ” Hajime stood there smiling awkwardly. He had only understood _good evening_ and their names.

“He doesn’t speak Spanish Lu.” Tooru giggled and Lu -Lucía, Hajime assumed. Tooru had told him about his neighbor. She made a sad face.

“That’s a pity.” 

“Don’t worry, I’ll force him to study.” They both laughed. “Did you need anything?”

“Oh, no, no, sweetheart.” She waved her hand. “I was just curious. Emilio told me you had a visitor.” Tooru rolled his eyes.

“You’re a couple of gossips.”

“Don’t blame me! That soap opera got boring!”

“Sure.” Tooru smiled, not believing a word. “Anyways, we have to get going.”

“Oh, of course, sorry! Nice to meet you Iwa-chan!” Lucia said before walking back to his apartment. Hajime startled when she named him, and waved goodbye when he saw her closing the door. Tooru turned to him.

“Sorry about that.” He passed by Hajime and opened his door, locking it after Hajime.

“What did she say?”

“Nothing much.” They walked to Tooru’s room and Hajime dropped the bag at the end of the bed. “She just wanted to know who you were.”

“Oh.” Tooru laughed.

“Yeah, she loves gossiping. She keeps me updated with all the neighbors' drama.”

They went back to the living room and sat on the couch. Tooru spent the next hours detailing Hajime the lives of the other residents. Above them lived a woman who played the piano at ungodly hours and below, a couple with a huge dog that barked almost every time Tooru passed by their door. There was also a family with two kids that were always running up and down the stairs. Hajime drank everything Tooru told him. They talked almost every day, and there were things that he already knew, but it was different reading if from _hearing_ it. In person, he could sense the happiness in Tooru’s voice.

Soon, it was dinner time. Hajime prepared the coffee table while Tooru made two omelets and a caprese salad. They ate while watching some anime Makki recommended them. Hajime offered to wash the dishes and Tooru didn’t complain. He walked to his bathroom to get ready for bed. He felt the typical knot in his stomach that he had every night before a match. It wasn’t nervousness but excitement. Buenos Aires Unidos was a good team. They would surely present a fight and Tooru couldn’t wait. It was the perfect match to show Hajime how much he had improved in less than a year.

He was pulling up his pyjama pants when Hajime walked into the bedroom.

“All clean.”

“Thanks, Iwa-chan.”

Hajime entered the bathroom and when he returned, he found Tooru already tucked in the bed and with his eyes closed.

“Wow, aren’t you gonna stay up watching videos of the opposite team until I have to yell at you to go to sleep?” Hajime smirked while putting on his pyjamas.

“Nah, did it yesterday.” They both laughed and Hajime climbed to the bed.

Tooru laid face down, with his head turned to Hajime. He smiled and whispered.

“Good night, Tooru.”

“Good night… Hajime.”

* * *

Tooru was practically hopping instead of walking down the street. He was like a ball of energy in that moment, as he always was before a game, but he had the addition of being able to show off in front of Hajime how much he had improved and how great his new team was, so it was a miracle he wasn’t straight out jumping. It took him merely a month to become the official setter, after learning how his teammates liked the tosses. Even with the barrier of language, he had managed. When Blanco had announced it, he was a little bit scared the previous setter would be mad, but he understood and helped Tooru whenever he needed.

“I can’t believe you’re finally meeting them! You’ll see, you’re gonna love them! They’re great! They may joke around a bit but don’t mind them, they’re always like that… And Héctor would try to lift you up, you can say no! And if they’re rude to you or something, tell me! And-”

“Tooru.” Hajime rolled his eyes. Tooru always babbled when he was nervous. “Don’t worry, I’m sure we’d get along.” Hajime smiled at him to reassure him

They got to the stadium Aldo Cantoni at the same time as the bus with the players of the opposite team. Some of them waved at Tooru and he waved back.

“Fraternizing with the enemy, I see.” Hajime cocked an eyebrow and Tooru laughed.

“It’s called being friendly, Hajime. You should try it.”

“Do you know them?”

“Just from previous games this season.”

“Who won?” Hajime grinned when he saw the grimace Tooru made.

“Unimportant. We’re gonna defeat them today.”

Hajime threw his head back laughing as they passed through the doors. Blanco was near the entrance to the locker room, talking with a man in his sixties. Tooru beamed and turned to Hajime.

“Iwa-chan! That’s my AT! Looks like we arrived right on time!”

Tooru jogged to them, followed by Hajime. He stopped at a polite distance, waiting for Tooru to introduce him, but the AT didn’t give him the chance. He engulfed Hajime in his arms and began speaking -though it could be called yelling- so quickly that he didn’t even understand when he called him _Iwa-chan_. Blanco and Tooru laughed beside them and only when the man stepped back Blanco translated his words.

“First of all, we’re happy to have you here. Sorry for Fabian’s enthusiasm but when Tooru told him you were trying to become an athletic trainer he couldn’t wait to meet you. He just told you so, and that you can count on him for anything you need.” Hajime blushed slightly.

“Thank you.” Hajime blushed slightly and bowed down his head.

“So polite my Iwa-chan.” Tooru grinned and ducked to avoid Hajime’s hand.

“Shut up, Shittykawa.”

Fabian burst out laughing and Hajime wondered if he understood anything or if he just liked violence. Blanco shook his head and turned to Tooru.

“You should get changed; some are already inside.”

“Copy that. I leave you in good hands, Iwa-chan.” 

Hajime snorted and watched him opening the door. He heard a cacophony of Tooru’s badly pronounced name leaving the room before the door slammed closed. Hajime decided to take up Fabian on his offer and with Blanco as their translator, he asked him some doubts he had with an assignment. Just a couple minutes later, a man that Hajime identified as the captain, thanks to the band under his number, walked out wearing the blue uniform of CA San Juan. Pedro -Tooru told him that was his name- approached him with a big smile.

“You must be Iwa-chan, nice to meet you!” He reached out his hand and Hajime shook it. He bit his tongue when he heard the nickname. First Lucia and now Pedro. He wondered if Tooru ran around telling everybody his name was actually Iwa-chan.

“Nice to meet you too. Pedro, right?” The aforementioned nodded and smiled. He was one of the few that spoke English.

“Iwaizumi-kun-” Blanco started.

“Please, call me Hajime. Iwaizumi-kun sounds too formal down here.”

“Okay, okay.” Blanco chuckled. He had lived in Japan for a few years so of course he would go with the honorific, Hajime thought.

“That goes for you too.” Hajime turned to face Pedro, hoping not to sound too rude. “I don’t know if you know but Iwa-chan is a nickname, my name is Hajime.”

“Oh, no, the team knows, but Tooru told us to call you Iwa-chan. Said you liked it more. And frankly, we’re used to it.” Hajime rolled his eyes and wondered how much Tooru talked about him.

“Anyways,” Blanco couched. “I was gonna tell you, Hajime, that you should go find a seat.”

“My kids are here today; you can sit with them if you want.” Hajime hesitated. “They speak English and don’t bite, don’t worry.” Pedro added with a smile. Hajime nodded and Pedro guided him. He pointed at one point in one of the front rows.

_Great,_ Hajime thought, _pre-teens_.

He gulped and walked over them. He greeted the two of them and they answered with a nod. He tried several times to establish a conversation. He talked about Godzilla, The Avengers, and even stupid aliens but he failed. He didn’t know what he did wrong, usually that worked. He resigned and paid attention to the match.

He saw the whole CA San Juan entering the court. He remembered some of them from pictures Tooru had shown him. Diego, Héctor, Hugo… He snorted when he realized Tooru was looking everywhere -searching for him, obviously- instead of hearing what his coach was telling him. Pedro pointed at the steps, where Hajime and the children were seated and Tooru beamed when their eyes met. He waved at him excitedly and Hajime waved back. He watched a man he thought was Héctor whispering something in Tooru's ear which made him blushed furiously and shouted at him, causing Blanco to reprimand them. Hajime snorted.

“Dumbass.” He muttered.

“Who?” Hajime jumped on his seat. The teens were looking at him.

“Uhm, the setter. You know, Tooru…” Their eyes widened.

“You’re Toru’s friend!”

“Yes…” Hajime didn’t know if he wanted it to be a question or an affirmation. What had Tooru done to those kids?

“Really?!” They flashed him a big smile.

“We love Toru!”

“He taught us his killer serve!”

“Since when did you know him?!”

Hajime felt overwhelmed. One moment those little monsters were completely focused on their phones and the next they were staring at him expectantly. Then, he decided he had a few embarrassing stories about Tooru that would serve as payback for the fact that he convinced everyone in Argentina to call him Iwa-chan.

“We’ve been friends since we were born. Let me tell you about the time he shit his pants…”

He talked and talked about Tooru while they waited for the match to begin. The kids were laughing out loud and Hajime grinned. He looked at Tooru, who was too busy warming up to notice. Hajime glared at his nape, trying to send him the message.

_Look here Shittykawa, I’m destroying your image_

At that moment, Tooru put a hand in the back of his neck and turned. He stared at Hajime with narrowed eyes and the smug smile on Hajime’s face grew bigger. They broke eye contact when Pedro’s daughter pulled the sleeve of Hajime’s t-shirt. They were begging him for more stories but Pedro was walking up to the referee with the other captain. The match was about to begin and Hajime instigated the teens to pay attention to his father.

It was a long time since Hajime had seen Tooru playing from outside of court. He looked fierce, monstrous, dominant. He had improved a lot in a matter of months. His serves, in which he previously prioritized strength and speed, now had astonishing precision, and anyone could see from miles away that he blent in perfectly with his teammates. Tooru made that spiking from all kinds of positions was as easy and natural as breathing.

Hajime’s palms stung with the memory of the ball in them. He hadn’t played since last Christmas, when Tooru and he went back to Japan and they arranged a match with their old team. He missed it. He felt a pang of envy in his heart seeing those unfamiliar faces surrounding his best friend after scoring a difficult point, but the pride he felt for Tooru completely covered it.

Hajime smiled. He couldn’t take his eyes off of him and he doubted anyone could. 

Like that, they arrived at the fifth and last set. 15-14 in favor of CA San Juan and it was Tooru’s turn to serve. He bounced the ball a couple times and spinned it in his hands, in that ritual so his that Hajime had seen so many times before. The referee blew the whistle and Tooru looked at Hajime, winked and threw the ball in the air. Hajime didn’t realize that he had held his breath until the ball bounced inside the opponent’s court.

The stands went wild. Everybody stood up clapping and cheering -it was expected since the local team had won. Hajime wasn’t less, he put his hands around his mouth as a megaphone and howled. Pedro’s children laughed and copied him. They were louder than the rest of the crowd and the whole team turned to look at them. Pedro chuckled and Tooru covered his face, embarrassed. 

When they finished stretching, Hajime jumped to the court followed by the two kids, who ran past him to their father’s arms. He approached Tooru, who looked at him with a smug smile.

“Told you we were gonna win.”

“Never doubted it.” They fist bumped and stared at each other. After a while, someone coughed behind Tooru.

“So, do you plan on introducing us today or what?”

“Héctor, don’t interrupt them! Can’t you see they were busy giving each other bedroom eyes?” Tooru blushed heavily and turned around to yell at Diego who was grinning.

“What the hell?! I told you to behave! I _begged_ you!”

He quickly turned to face Hajime and apologized but he found the other with his head rolled back laughing. When Tooru had warned him of possible comments from some of his teammates, he figured they’d be the typical ones Makki and Mattsun had accustomed him to. Hajime flashed them a sly smile.

“Wow, that was lame. I was expecting more of you, guys, like _can’t you see Tooru wants to fuck his brains out_ or _Iwa-chan the locker room is empty you can blow him there_. Maybe _that_ would’ve made me blush.”

Silence fell upon them. Hajime smirked watching _the terrible trio_ turned into tomatoes. Then, Diego burst out laughing.

“I like him.” He elbowed Héctor, who also laughed. Tooru remained quiet, his face crimson red. Hajime rolled his eyes.

“Oi, earth to Shittykawa, are you there?” The aforementioned blinked and then squinted his eyes at him.

“Iwa-chaaaan,” he whined “you shouldn’t encourage them.”

“And you shouldn’t be ignoring your captain.” Pedro’s voice startled the four of them.

“Sorry, cap.” Diego, Héctor and Tooru said at unison. The man chuckled at them.

“Don’t mind, I was just saying that I’m having a barbeque tomorrow at my place, and you’re all invited. Specially you Iwa-chan. I have to pay you somehow for babysitting my kids.”

“Don’t worry.” Hajime shrugged. “They’ve been good. All it took was a few embarrassing stories about the certified dumbass.” He slapped Tooru’s back.

“Hey!”

The children, who were standing next to his father, laughed and began repeating what Hajime had told them earlier. Tooru’s face turned more and more into a grimace as they spoke and by the end, he had sworn to kill Hajime when the minors left.

Some of the teammates were in a hurry so they had already gone to the locker room to get changed. Tooru introduced Hajime to the rest of them, and left him talking to Blanco while he went and grabbed his bag because he was going to shower at home.

On their way back to the apartment, Hajime ran in front of Tooru, his friend chasing him to kick him and get revenge on the ruin of his image with the kids. Although it wasn’t a serious race. They were both laughing out loud, Tooru sometimes yelling _to the right!_ so Hajime wouldn’t get lost. They arrived chuckling, panting and sweating.

“Dibs on the shower!”

“I’m the one who’s played, Iwa-chan!”

They struggled with each other once Tooru opened the door. Shirts and arms and wrists were pulled, until Tooru hit Hajime with his bag and ran to the bathroom, effectively locking himself inside.

“You can start cooking, Iwa-chan.” He singsonged. Hajime snorted and accepted the defeat.

In the evening, they went for another walk after a well-deserved rest. Tooru wanted to take Hajime to a diner with spectacle. A tango show specifically. Hajime wasn’t too fond of dancing but he guessed it wouldn’t hurt doing something typically touristic, after all he _was_ a tourist.

Tooru told him to find them a seat while he ordered at the counter and Hajime complied. A lot of tables were already occupied but he managed to find a little one with two seats almost in the front row. He took a look around while waiting. There was a small platform in the middle of the room where he supposed the artists would perform. Tooru arrived right before the lights went out, carrying their trays with two beers and pizza.

The music began playing and then a woman walked on stage from behind them, scaring Hajime, which made Tooru spit his beer. The man appeared from the other corner of the bar and both joined on the platform. They started slowly, walking around the stage holding each other. Hajime thought it looked easy until the music sped up a little and he couldn’t follow their feet. He glanced at Tooru whose eyes shined and seemed spellbound to the performance.

The music stopped and with two last strong stomps on the ground the couple froze, the woman with her back arched and the man with his chest out. The whole restaurant began cheering and clapping and Hajime took two fingers to his mouth to whistle. Tooru looked at him and laughed as he noticed his stunned face.

“Did you like it, Iwa-chan?”

“Fuck yes. It looked so easy at the beginning, but then, wow.” Hajime’s inability to form a sentence drew out another laugh from Tooru.

“Glad you did.”

The performance had ended so they decided to attack on their dinner. They finished just when the woman who had previously danced stepped on the stage once again. She began yelling something that Hajime didn’t understand but he saw a few men in the audience raising their hands.

“They’re asking for volunteers.” He turned to look at Tooru, who was grinning at him. “Do you wanna try?”

“No way.” His panicked face made Tooru laugh.

The woman looked at the tables with a funny focused face and when her eyes laid upon their table, she lightened up and approached them. Hajime wanted to disappear. He had no idea about her exact words but he was sure of what she was telling them. Tooru burst out laughing and stood up.

“What are you doing?”

“It’s me or you, she’s made herself very clear.” Tooru winked at him.

Hajime followed him with his eyes as Tooru walked up the stage. The woman was explaining something to him and Tooru simply stood there nodding. The music began and Hajime couldn’t stop smiling, watching Tooru clumsily trying to follow her movements. She pressed her body completely against him and Tooru blushed. He reddened more when she took his hand and slid it down her hips. Tooru looked at Hajime with a panicky face and he burst out laughing.

Hajime was still laughing when they left the place a couple hours later. The pout on Tooru’s face grew bigger and bigger with every chuckle. It was raining slightly so they decided to walk, since the apartment wasn’t far. Bad idea. Two minutes later they were running through the streets of San Juan and got to the flat soaking wet.

Hajime walked to the bedroom to get changed while Tooru fought with his heater, trying to program it. When he went to his room, Hajime was lying in bed, checking his phone.

“My mum sends you regards.”

“Tell her she’s a sweetheart and that I miss her.”

Tooru put on his pyjamas and crawled into his bed, lying face up with his hands on his stomach while Hajime still played with his cellphone. Then, Tooru looked at him and smiled.

“Iwa-chan.” The aforementioned looked up. “I came out to my family three days ago.” Hajime widened his eyes.

“Shit.” Tooru giggled while his best friend left the phone on the table and rolled on the bed to face him, eyebrows furrowed and eyes full of concern. “Shit Tooru, how did it go?”

“Oh, really well. Don’t worry.” Tooru smiled. “Kazue scolded me for not telling them before and my mum apologized for making me think that my house wasn’t a safe place to be me. We all cried and I told them it wasn’t their fault and we cried more.” He rolled his eyes. “A complete drama show.”

“Typical Oikawa’s.” They both chuckled. “What happened then?”

“Well, then, the conversation got awkward. As Takeru wasn’t there they bombarded me with wonderful questions such as do you have a boyfriend? Do you like someone? Do you prefer them Japanese or Argentinian? And I was a little embarrassed but it was fine. But then _they_ began talking about their preferences and I hung up.”

Hajime burst out laughing and Tooru followed him. They had never felt freer. After a while, they calmed down.

“Why three days ago?” Hajime asked softly. Tooru looked at him fondly.

“Cause if everything crumbled up, you’d be here.” Hajime reddened lightly and kicked him.

“You’re a sap.”

“And you’re blushed. I’ll tell Diego and Héctor.” Hajime rolled his eyes, and moved until he was laying on his back. A couple minutes passed by before Tooru spoke up.

“Are you ever going to tell your parents?”

“I think…” Hajime sighed. “When I have a boyfriend I’m serious with.” The atmosphere had changed. Tooru could see the sadness in his eyes and decided to tease him to cheer him up a bit -or at least not to make him think about it.

“Oh, so those guys that’ve been leaving you hickeys these past months weren’t serious? Such a pity.” He smirked.

“Shut up!” Hajime’s face was red in seconds and he covered it with his hands, sighing exasperatedly. “I knew I shouldn’t have told you.”

“Don’t be mad at me! You were the one who made us promise to tell each other _everything_.” Tooru punctuated every syllable of the world, drawing out another exasperated sigh from his friend.

“You’re right, you’re right…” Hajime’s mouth formed a small smile and Tooru mentally high-fived himself.

“Have you met them again?”

“No, they were just some drunken kisses at a party. Nothing serious.” He shrugged and looked at Tooru. “And what about you? Anyone on sight?” He shook his head in denial.

“The team took me to a gay bar Hugo knew a couple months ago and, well, I was hit on _a lot_ -I mean, look at me Iwa-chan, who wouldn’t want a piece of this?- but, either they were much older than me or I could feel the gaze of my teammates in my nape and got nervous and ignored the guy.”

“What a couple of losers we are.” They both laughed until Hajime yawned.

“Let’s go to sleep, Iwa-chan. Tomorrow you have a big day.”

“Huh?”

“Barbecues at Pedro’s always get out of hand.” Tooru grinned.

* * *

Diego was picking them up at noon and of course, twenty minutes later Tooru wasn’t ready.

“Does he always have to wait for you? How is he your friend?” Hajime teased him, leaning on the bedroom door. Tooru was frantically throwing all the contents of his closet on the bed, searching for a clean t-shirt. “You know, if you bothered washing _all_ your clothes and not just the training ones you wouldn’t have this problem, Shittykawa.”

“Shut up! I do!” Tooru yelled and opened the drawer, which was full of wrinkled clothes. “See?! Told you!”

“Have you ever heard of ironing?” Hajime cocked an eyebrow.

Tooru decided to ignore him, not without giving him a last pout, and put on a plain red shirt. He took his keys and pushed Hajime until they left the apartment. Diego was waiting for them inside the car.

“Sorry, Shittykawa didn’t know what to wear.” Hajime opened the door of the passenger seat and got in the car. Diego chuckled.

“Don’t need to swear.” Tooru let out an offended _hey!_ and got on the back. “At the last barbeque, we were _so_ late they had eaten almost everything. You’d think he’d learnt the lesson but it seems he hasn’t.” Hajime rolled his head back laughing. Tooru crossed his arms over his chest and pouted.

“I knew you’d bully me.”

“Deal with it.” Hajime shrugged.

Diego started the car while Tooru muttered _who wants enemies having friends like this_ and they headed for Pedro’s. Hajime and Diego got to know each other while mocking Tooru, who grunted in the back seat. Hajime told him all kinds of embarrassing stories about their childhood that turned Tooru’s face red. He only stopped when Tooru threatened to call his mother, which made Diego laugh so hard he closed his eyes and almost hit the car in front of them. After that, the drive passed quietly.

Pedro lived in General San Martín, a town outside of San Juan. Hajime’s mouth hung in amazement before his house, who had three floors and huge windows. He looked at Tooru.

“Do you get paid enough to afford this?” Tooru snorted.

“Are you kidding me? All that is thanks to Irene.” Hajime frowned, not knowing who Tooru was talking about, which he realized and explained. “She’s Pedro’s wife. She’s an artist. I think she’s here this weekend!”

Diego closed the car and the three of them walked to the entrance. Tooru rang the bell and they waited patiently until they heard the sounds of steps behind the door and when it opened, they were welcomed by a smiley beautiful middle-aged woman. _Irene_ , Hajime assumed.

“Hey guys! You’re here early, we haven’t even taken the kids to their grandpa’s.”

“Sorry, I couldn’t risk another incident.” Diego smirked and patted Tooru’s back.

“We were late ONE TIME!” Tooru exploded.

“Did I eat lamb chops?! No, right?!”

Hajime smiled and rolled his eyes. He ignored them and extended his hand to greet Irene.

“Nice to meet you. Irene, right?” He was grateful to have a girl in his class with the same name and thus be able to pronounce it well.

“Yes! You must be Iwa-chan.” She beamed and shook his hand which Hajime appreciated. He still wasn’t used to the lack of personal space. “Pedro told me about you. Please come in. I’ll give you a tour while those two keep fighting.”

Hajime looked behind him and watched the two grown up men pulling from each other to not let the other in. He shook his head and followed Irene.

The house was huge and very luminous, every wall painted white. She showed him the open concept living room and the two islands -only one of them was almost as big as the kitchen he shared with Susan. There were numerous abstract paintings hanging from the walls, a quick search on the corners of one confirmed his suspicions.

“You’re very talented.”

“Oh thanks! I created that one when I was pregnant for the first time. It represents my fears of becoming a mother and…”

Irene kept babbling about things Hajime didn’t understand, but he was too polite to say so he spent fifteen minutes trying to see everything she was telling him instead of the few random stripes inside of a hexagon.

On the second floor were the bedrooms, where he didn’t want to enter for obvious privacy reasons, though Irene didn’t care and insisted until he walked into the daughter’s room that had the best views. Hajime had to admit they were indeed beautiful -not more than the ones he had on Miyagi but that’d be rude to say.

Finally, in the attic was her study. She explained that despite the art galleries being in Buenos Aires, she preferred to work on her pieces from home and go to the capital to exhibit them. _More family time!_ she smiled. As they went down the stairs and out into the garden, Hajime stood in front of other paintings, to see if he could understand them but even with Irene’s notes, he didn’t. It was clear that abstract art wasn’t for him.

In the backyard, they had a tiny improvised volleyball court marked by stakes and a net hanging from two poles stuck in the grass. Pedro, Diego and Tooru were playing there with the children. Although it wasn’t fair, Hajime thought. Three grown up men, two heads above the net, against three kids from nine to eleven years. Tooru served incredibly weakly and it was still an ace.

“Explain to me how any of this is fair, Shittykawa.” He turned his head and sticked his tongue out to Hajime, who grinned at him.

“They want it like that!”

“Play with us please!” The children had run to Hajime and were pulling from his sleeve. 

“I’m sorry _corazones_ , but your grandma is waiting for you.” Irene interrupted before he was able to answer.

They pouted and complained and one of them even faked tears but their mother was unbreakable. As they said goodbye, a few more teammates arrived and they all played while the rest got there, until Blanco and Fabian appeared and began yelling _what the hell are you doing, this is a resting day, go and light the embers!_

The atmosphere was lively. There were endless beer cans and Spanish music playing. Some of the men were dancing while others helped Pedro chop vegetables. Hajime saw in the corner of his eye Tooru threatening Ernesto with a knife, screaming in Spanish. Apparently, the outside hitter had thrown away something in the trash can, if Hajime understood their gestures correctly.

Hajime shook his head smiling and paid attention again to the conversation he was keeping with Héctor, Irene and another man he honestly couldn’t remember the name of. Right on time, cause the three of them were looking at him.

“Sorry, did you ask something?” Héctor laughed and patted his back.

“Marcos asked how you and Tooru met.” _Marcos!_ Hajime hoped he could remember.

“Well, it wasn’t exactly a casual meeting, more like a forced one.” He chuckled when his listeners made a questioning face. “My parents took me to the hospital two hours after he was born and I’m only forty days older than him so I don’t remember a day without him.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah.” He didn’t know who had spoken. “My dad met his mum at college and became best friends, and then they were hired by the same company and moved to the same street. When my father introduced my mother to Tooru’s, they became inseparable. Of course they would want the same for their sons, I didn’t stand a chance.” All of them laughed and then Irene made the one question she shouldn’t have.

“And what about Tooru’s dad?” Hajime’s face paled.

“Oh, well, he-”

“He’s a bastard.” Tooru’s voice behind him startled them. Hajime turned to look at him, worried, and found him looking down. “A drunk bastard that I don’t care about and you shouldn’t either.” An uncomfortable silence settled among them until Tooru raised his head smiling. “Anyways, you’re hoarding my Iwa-chan, I’ll steal him for a bit.”

Tooru grabbed Hajime from the elbow and dragged him into the house, away from all the people. Tooru sat on the counter and asked Hajime to get him another beer. His friend complied and also grabbed himself one. Hajime watched him gulping the beer and frowned.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, don’t worry. I’m fine” Tooru smiled to reassure him and Hajime smiled back. “How are you? Are they bothering you? Héctor can be a bit too much sometimes, but he’s a nice guy, don’t let him fool you, and-”

“Tooru.” Hajime interrupted him with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.

“Sorry.” Tooru blushed lightly and lowered his gaze. “I just want you to like them.” Hajime rolled his eyes and laughed softly.

“And I do. They’re all great.”

“Yeah, they are.” Tooru smiled fondly at Hajime.

They stared at each other until they were interrupted by a cough. They looked at the source and found Hugo standing close to them. Tooru blinked a couple times.

“Oh, Hugo, did you want something?” The man, who had been pretending to examine his nails, looked up.

“Diego was looking for you. He needs your help with the onions for the salads.” Tooru grunted exasperatedly.

“He can’t be that stupid.” Tooru muttered. “Sorry Iwa-chan, I’ll be right back.” He jumped down from the counter and left.

Hajime threw the finished beers in the trash can and grabbed a new one at the same time as Hugo did. They went back to the garden with the older man holding Hajime by the shoulder.

“Iwa-chan! We barely spoke yesterday! How are you?” Hajime laughed at his enthusiastic tone.

“I’m good, Hugo, thanks. A little bit tipsy, I think.” Hugo let out a loud chuckle at hearing that. “And you?”

“Exhausted.” He sighed and smiled. “I never thought planning a wedding would be this tiring, we don’t even have a date!”

“Now that you bring that up, I wanted to thank you.” They stopped their steps and Hugo looked at him intrigued by his seriousness. “It meant a lot to Tooru. To find himself supported like that. He-”

“Anytime.” Hugo smiled fondly and Hajime relaxed.

Hugo’s phone rang at that moment and he excused himself to answer. Hajime heard him say Lucio before walking away. He took a sip from his beer and looked around him. His eyes immediately stopped at Tooru, who was doubled over with laughter watching Diego crying while cutting the onion. Hajime smiled. He looked so comfortable and free.

“Sorry about that.” Hajime jumped, surprised by the return of Hugo, but the man didn’t notice, he was busy looking at his phone. “Lucio just landed in Houston. Look, he sent me a pic. Isn’t he handsome?”

Hugo brought him the phone closer so that he could see him well but Hajime only glanced at the photograph one second before grabbing Hugo’s wrist and turning it. He gasped and let go. Hugo frowned at him while Hajime checked his pockets. He pulled out his phone and showed it to Hugo.

“Oh my God.” Hajime’s eyes sparkled. “Oh my God, Iwa-chan.”

They hugged tightly and screamed, alarming everyone. Tooru ran to them right away.

“What’s going on?!” Hajime shoved their cellphones with matching Godzilla covers in his face.

“How couldn’t you tell me this Shittykawa?!” He beamed. Hugo at his side was already typing.

“I have to tell Lucio! I found my soulmate!”

“Hugo! Don’t tell him that! He’ll hate me!”

“If he loves me, he’ll understand! Iwa-chan, we have to watch the new movie together, promise me!”

“I-I don’t know. It’s a year from now, a lot may change…” Hugo gasped.

“Are you saying you’re not committed to me?”

“I don’t live here, Hugo! It’s complicated!”

“Only because you want it to be!”

Tooru watched the exchange between his best friend and his teammate with a tender smile on his lips. 

Their bickering was only stopped by Pedro screaming that the food was ready. They sat around the table while he served them. 

It was _loud_ , not like any lunch Hajime had attended, neither in Japan nor in the USA. A drunk Fabian had his arm around Hajime’s shoulder, and kept yelling in his ear something in Spanish that he clearly didn’t understand while Tooru laughed out loud in front of him. Hajime ate as much as he could and when he felt full, he opened his eyes in panic watching as the meat didn’t stop coming. He understood then how all of them were as big as closets, except Tooru, but it was only a matter of time if he kept eating like that.

When _finally_ they finished all the food, the cocktail time began. Hajime thought it may be a bad idea to keep drinking, but Diego assured him he hadn’t had a single drop of alcohol so he’d drive them home safe, and Hajime loosened up.

He didn’t know how many drinks he’d had before Héctor challenged Pedro to an arm-wrestling. Sadly for the libero, his captain refused, but the fire had been lit and the men demanded a fight.

“My Iwa-chan is the champion of all Japan! He’d beat Pedro without a sweat!” Tooru screamed, slamming his fist on the table. Hugo translated the sentence to Hajime, who paled.

“Shittykawa, you’re exaggerating…”

“I’m sure he can’t beat our captain!”

“Really?! Look at his biceps!” Tooru circled Hajime’s right arm with his hands. His face reddened, slightly embarrassed.

“There’s only a way to settle this.” Blanco hiccupped. “A contest.” Everybody began cheering and Hajime looked at Pedro, who sighed exasperatedly. 

They sat in front of each other and positioned themselves. Behind Pedro stood the whole CA San Juan, except Tooru, Hugo and Irene that decided to support him. Hajime glanced at Pedro’s arm and gulped. It wasn’t gonna be easy.

It started amicably, neither one gaining or losing ground, but after a couple minutes Pedro began pushing harder. It caught Hajime by surprise, forcing him to give ground. Tooru gasped and clenched his fists. Hajime heard Irene mocking his husband, trying to make him lose focus.

“You can do it, Iwa-chan!”

He didn’t know if it was because of Tooru’s sentence or Hugo’s howls or Irene accomplishing his goal but Hajime regained his posture and they were back at their starting position. His eyes focused on a drop of sweat that slid down Pedro’s face. He could do it, he felt confident, he felt dizzy. He shouldn’t have drunk that much. He saw Pedro flashing him a smug smile before pushing again. Hajime grunted and managed to reverse it.

“Win for me, Hajime!”

Hajime grinned at Pedro, full of teeth, before slamming his arm on the table.

There was a brief silence before everyone erupted in cheers. Hugo hung from Hajime’s neck, fist raised in the air and then he ran to Héctor, yelling something about a bet he didn’t know had taken place.

“I want a rematch!”

“Honey, hasn’t he already dragged your name through the mud enough?” Pedro gasped at Irene’s words.

“Maybe Diego should be the team’s ace?” Blanco asked Fabian.

“Hey!” Pedro stood up and began arguing with his coach. 

  
Someone handed him two jars of beer and Hajime drank them while the team cheered him on. After that, everything went blank. He was barely aware of Tooru hugging him and giving him a smooch on the cheek, screaming something similar to _have you seen how great is my Iwa-chan?!_

* * *

Levi Hutchings was the man that had blessed the world with alarm clocks. He also was the man the whole CA San Juan wanted to murder the morning after the barbecue.

That morning, Hajime vaguely remembered Blanco’s invitation to training with them. His head throbbed and when he stood up, he felt Tooru’s room spinning. The voice of his best friend came from behind him, indicating that he’d feel better after a shower, but Hajime didn’t know if he could trust his words, giving Tooru’s own aspect after said shower.

When they walked through the doors of the stadium, they were met by fellow hungover men laying on the floor or sitting on the bench. They were early, there was no trace of their coach or their AT. Tooru headed to the locker room to get changed while Hajime who had decided to put on his gym clothes at home plunked beside Héctor. He greeted him with a grunt which Hajime was grateful for, he couldn’t stand the conversation in that state. They sat there in blissful silence, joined after by Tooru and Hugo. Right after Hajime thought how nice it was, the peace was broken.

“Good morning gentlemen!” Diego screamed behind them.

They all whined and Héctor tried to hit him but he was too slow, Diego dodged him easily. He and the other team members that had been designated drivers laughed at them.

“God, I hate you so much…” Hajime growled and Diego gasped.

“You hurt me Iwa-chan, I thought we got along!”

“Fuck, stop talking…” Tooru grunted and massaged his temples.

“I was just trying to warn you that coach and Fabian were-”

“Sorry we’re late!” A too cheerful Blanco greeted entering the gym. He examined the faces of the men in his team and let out a loud chuckle. “I told you not to drink too much yesterday!”

Hajime thought he was a hypocrite considering the man had started singing _tangos_ shortly before dessert, drinking glass of wine after glass of wine. Next to him, Fabian bandaged Marcos' fingers as he chatted animatedly -by the player's face, he'd appreciate it if he turned the volume down. Hajime wondered if the alcohol tolerance was something Argentinians would get with age.

“We were welcoming Iwa-chan! Argentine style! we _had_ to drink.” Hugo replied.

“Only for that shitty excuse, the whole team will run three more laps.” Blanco grinned at them and the team’s eyes sent daggers to Hugo.

“I’m not from the team, can I duck out?” Hajime _prayed_ Blanco had mercy.

“Don’t you dare leaving us!” Tooru smacked his head. Héctor raised his hand.

“I wanna use Iwa-chan’s excuse.”

In the end, practice went better than expected. Running outdoors through Parque de Mayo had cleared his headache a bit, he had to admit Blanco knew what he was doing with those extra laps. Warmth spread through Hajime’s chest running alongside Tooru, training with him after all that time. Tooru had grabbed his arm to do the warm up exercises together and no one had complained, just like they hadn’t either when he wanted him in his team. Hajime missed volleyball, sure, but he didn’t regret his decision. After all, becoming pro had never been his dream. When they finished, he thanked Blanco for the opportunity and apologized if he had hindered the training, to which the coach laughed and patted him on the back, reassuring him he hadn’t.

The way back home was in a comfortable silence. There were only hours left of Hajime in San Juan, and anyone could notice it weighed on them. He wondered if someday he’d get used to having his best friend so far away. When they arrived at the flat, they took turns in the shower, and Hajime packed his suitcase while Tooru made lunch.

Tooru insisted on accompanying him to the airport, and so there they were, standing in front of the security check.

“Promise you’ll text when you get to your room.”

“Of course, Shittykawa.” 

“I’ll worry if you don’t.” Hajime rolled his eyes.

“I know, I know. Don’t worry I’ll text you.”

“Thanks.” Tooru smiled and took a step forward, hugging Hajime, who hugged him back.

“I’m gonna miss you.”

“Me too.” They tightened the embrace before breaking apart.

Tooru felt Hajime had something on his mind, staring at him lost in thought.

“What is it?”

“You look happier.” Tooru widened his eyes, not expecting that, but he quickly recomposed and smiled fondly.

“I am.”

“I’m glad.” Hajime sighed and smiled at him. “I’m glad you found a home here, Tooru. People to rely on, that care about you; teammates to trust, to help you grow and conquer everything you want.” Hajime’s smile grew bigger and Tooru’s cheeks tainted a light pink. “So… see you in July?”

“Y-Yes!” Tooru stuttered. “I’ll tell you the exact day once I get the tickets! I can’t wait!” He beamed and Hajime chuckled.

“I’ll have to think about where I take you…”

“Oh, I’m sure wherever it is it’ll be perfect! I’ll be with you!”

Hajime’s heart skipped a beat but he dismissed it immediately. They said goodbye with a fist bump and another brief hug and he turned away to face the two sleep deprived days ahead of him. When he finally - _finally_ \- got to his room in Irvine, Hajime sank on his mattress and pulled out his phone.

**From: Tooru**

san juan is really quiet without you

so come back soon hajime

Hajime went to sleep with a smile on his face and a forgotten reply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> I hope you liked this one! Let me know your thoughts in the comment section :)


	10. California Gurls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Introducing more of the California gang, Iwaoi first date/not date and asshole number one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, 16k words. Wow.
> 
> Enjoy this last flashback! (ups spoilers)

**_July, 2013._ **

“IWA-CHAN!” Hajime heard his nickname being screamed before he was tackled to the floor by a large body that happened to be his best friend.

“Fuck, Shittykawa, get up! Everybody’s watching us!” Tooru stood up and extended his hand to help Hajime.

“Sorry! I got carried away! I’ve missed you so much!”

“It’s been only four months, dumbass.”

“Exactly! Too much!” Tooru pouted.

Hajime simply rolled his eyes and shook his head. He would never admit that he missed him too, it would only enlarge his ego, and that was the last thing Tooru needed. They began walking through the airport and Tooru was amazed by how big and crowded it was. San Juan’s looked terribly small compared to it. He wanted to admire the building but they didn’t have time to spare or they'd miss the bus and that’d be fatal. Hajime had warned him that if they didn’t get it, they’d have to pay one hundred dollars for a cab ride or wait three extra hours and Tooru wasn’t willing to test either option.

He walked behind Hajime, trying not to lose his spiky hair amongst everybody, dragging the suitcase with almost all his summer clothes. He wasn’t gonna return to Argentina in a month. Tooru was about to spend five days in LA and then on Sunday night they’d take the plane to Tokyo together to spend the whole month with their families in Miyagi. He couldn’t be more excited.

They left the building and walked a couple minutes to the bus station. Tooru was beginning to feel the fatigue in his bones as a loud yawn left his mouth. He had managed to get two hours of sleep in his last flight but he had been awake more than twenty-four hours previous to that. His body demanded rest.

They didn’t get a seat on the bus nor a place near a wall so he could lean against it. Tooru whined. He wanted to close his eyes, was it too much to ask for?

“Use my shoulder if you want to.”

They were in the middle of the hall, surrounded by people who made them stand really close to each other, Tooru’s suitcase placed between their legs so as not to bother the other passengers. Hajime’s features were soft, the corners of his mouth up in a small smile. He knew what Tooru was going through. Tooru didn’t think twice before hiding his face in the crook of his neck and sliding his arms around his waist.

“Thanks, Iwa-chan.”

“I’ll wake you when we arrive.”

The ride flew by resting on Hajime's shoulder. In the blink of an eye, they got to the train station, where he could properly sleep for an hour, lying down across four seats. For the last bus, Tooru managed to stay awake, making small talk with Hajime. _How were your flights? Did you remember your contact lenses? Have you texted your mum?_ After two hours of traveling, they finally got to Irvine University.

“Come on Shittykawa, just ten more minutes walking.”

Tooru nodded and followed Hajime. The landscape was beautiful, formed by green hills bathed in the orange light of the twilight. And it was quiet. In San Juan, people _yelled_. He had gotten used to closing all his windows at night if he didn’t want to be woken up by the loud cheers coming from the bar on the street. It was a bit overwhelming at first, especially because he didn’t speak the language and didn’t understand a thing, but when he realized they were only talking about football, he relaxed. 

Hajime stopped his steps in front of a tall building, one of the few Tooru had seen in Irvine. He pulled out his keys and opened the door, stepping aside to let Tooru come in. He muttered thanks and passed by him, smiling at the E.T. keychain he had gifted him for his birthday -so many years ago Tooru couldn’t remember the exact one- that was hanging from his keys.

“You still got it?” Hajime frowned, not knowing what he was talking about and Tooru pointed at it.

“Oh, yeah, of course. It was your gift.” The door closed behind them and they walked to the elevator. 

“You know, if you don’t like it…”

“Tooru.” Hajime rolled his eyes. “If I didn’t like it, I wouldn’t carry it around everywhere, okay?”

Tooru blushed lightly and nodded. With a _ping_ the doors opened and they entered the cubicle.

“See, Shittykawa? This is what modernity looks like.” Hajime grinned, pressing the button with the number eight on it.

“Lazyass…” Tooru whispered.

“What did you say?” Hajime flexed his arms over his chest and cocked an eyebrow.

“Oh, sorry.” Tooru cleared his throat. “Lazyass!” He pushed Hajime from the shoulder.

The attacked man got revenge by ruffling Tooru’s hair and pinching his arm, ignoring his wailing, until the doors opened. Laughing, they stepped into the corridor.

“Come on, it’s ap-”

“It's apartment C!” Tooru exclaimed excitedly. Hajime blinked a couple times.

“You remember?”

“Of course! I pay attention when you talk, Iwa-chan, unlike you.” 

Hajime rolled his eyes and followed Tooru, who was looking everywhere for the white rectangle on the wall with a black C on it. The building where Hajime lived was tall and long, each floor consisting of seven apartments. There were all students living there, so there were parties _every single day_ which forced Hajime to buy a couple of ear plugs in his first month there.

Tooru stopped in front of a wooden door from which hung a sign with the names _Hajime Iwaizumi_ and _Susan Miller_. He swayed from one foot to the other eagerly. Hajime smiled and shook his head, almost without believing Tooru’s excitement to see his tiny apartment. He put the key in the lock and turned to him.

“Behave, Susan’s home.”

“Great!” Tooru’s smile grew bigger.

Hajime turned his wrist and pushed the door open. They were met by the image of Susan frowning over a huge textbook in the living room table. She was so focused on her lecture that didn’t realize the two men had closed the door and were standing next to her. Hajime cleared his throat and Susan jumped on her seat.

“Fuck, Hajime, you scared me!” Her eyes then fell on the figure standing next to her roommate and she beamed. “Tooru! It’s so good to finally meet you!”

“Susan!”

She stood up and ran to his opened arms. Tooru engulfed her in a tight embrace, laughing and caressing her back. Hajime looked at them with a cocked eyebrow and an amused smile.

“How affectionate you two, right?” Tooru looked at him without stopping the hug.

“We became best friends during your disappearance.” Susan chuckled and Hajime rolled his eyes.

“I didn’t disappear, stop exaggerating. I just forgot to answer.”

“Exactly!” Tooru broke the contact and stared at Hajime with his hands on the hips. “You promised me you would! I checked every flight online and saw all of them had landed! So I looked for car accidents or trains or buses or whatever!” Tooru was pouting and Hajime knew he shouldn’t laugh but he couldn’t help it. “Don’t laugh Iwa-chan! This is serious! I thought something happened! Thank goodness we had exchanged emergency numbers and I could contact Susan!” Tooru turned to her who was covering his mouth trying not to burst out laughing. “Anyway, thank you so much for telling me he was alive.”

“Don’t worry, anytime.” She winked and Tooru’s mouth formed a bright smile.

“Hajime, I love your roommate.”

“Yeah, I know, me too.” He chuckled and then got serious. “Now go to my room and leave your suitcase there. We’ll have dinner and then you go to sleep. You need to rest; I doubt those naps on the train were enough.” Tooru grinned.

“You see, Susan, that’s Iwa-chan’s mum mode, have you ever seen it?”

“No, I haven’t had the pleasure.”

“Very bad, Hajime, you’re a terrible roommate.” Hajime rolled his eyes while his friends laughed at his expenses.

“No, I’m not. It’s just that Susan is much more mature than you, Babykawa.” Tooru gasped.

“Excuse me? I’m a functional adult! I’ve been living on my own almost a year and the flat’s still standing!”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

None of them said nothing for a moment, busy laughing and looking at each other. Hajime’s stomach growled and Susan and Tooru laughed louder. Hajime pointed at his room with his best attempt at a serious face and Tooru grabbed his suitcase and walked where he indicated. When he closed the door to have some privacy while he put on his pyjamas, Hajime turned to Susan to talk about dinner and found she had been ogling at Tooru’s back and was staring at the closed door. Hajime waved his hand in front of her face and she blinked a couple times. Susan grabbed his arm and dragged him to the kitchen.

“Damn Hajime!” She whispered. “You didn’t tell me he was a snack!”

“Ehm…” Hajime’s face reddened. “Well, I guess he is…?” Susan rolled her eyes laughing and handed him three glasses.

“Come on, help me set the table. I already made dinner.”

“Oh, thanks Susan.”

“Anytime!” 

She grabbed the tablecloth from one of the bottom cupboards and walked to the living room followed by Hajime. It took them three trips to set everything. Susan had prepared chicken _fajitas_ so they had put on the table the bowl with the filling, the plate with the tortillas, the cream cheese and the barbeque sauce -one of Susan’s likes that horrified Hajime.

When Tooru left the room, Susan was already sitting and Hajime had just placed the napkins and the bottle of water on the table.

“It smells delicious!” Tooru dropped himself on the chair next to Susan. “Did you make it?”

“Yeah, I figured you guys would be hungry.” She smiled and shrugged.

“Iwa-chan, I’m gonna steal her when you’re not looking.” Hajime cocked an eyebrow.

“I’d like to see you trying.”

“Is that a dare?” Tooru leaned forward, cocking one of his own and grinning.

“I really would love to visit Argentina some time.” Susan interfered with a thoughtful look on her face.

“Ha!” Tooru let out a loud chuckle. “I won!”

Hajime rolled his eyes and admitted defeat. He grabbed one of the tortillas and began preparing his dinner before his stomach growled a second time and his friends would laugh at him again. It was then that he noticed what his best friend was wearing.

“That’s a new one.” Tooru made a question face while spreading the cream cheese. “Your pyjamas.”

“Oh.” He looked down at his light blue sleeveless top. “Yeah, bought it last month.”

“You keep track of his clothes?” Susan asked with a smirk on his face, making Hajime slightly blushed.

“No! He answered immediately and Tooru burst out laughing. “I-”

“He always helps me pack. Told you: mum mode.” He added turning to Susan before looking at Hajime again. “Don’t worry Iwa-chan. It didn’t sound as something a perv would say _at all_.” 

“I’m just surprised it doesn’t have aliens on it!” Susan and Tooru burst out laughing and Hajime mumbled. “You two together are a menace.”

“Wait until he meets Carol and Peter, you’re gonna regret inviting him.” Susan giggled.

“This is just payback, Iwa-chan, from when you and Diego bullied me.”

“That was barely bullying you.”

“Key word: barely.”

Susan spit her water and chuckled, amused by the bickering of the two boys, though she intervened when they were about to throw hands. She managed to calm them down and the three of them began eating in silence. Tooru pouted and stared at his best friend, who stared back at him with a scowl. Tooru decided he’d be the grown up between them and relaxed his features, turning to Susan with a smile on his face.

“So, what were you studying when we interrupted you?”

“Oh, I was reading a paper on health psychology from one of my next year professors.” Tooru looked at Hajime who had stopped frowning and was also smiling.

“Of course you’d be roommates with a nerd such as you.”

“Hey!” Susan smacked Tooru’s head and regretted it immediately when he looked at her with a shocked face. She was about to apologize when Tooru burst out laughing.

“She’s also a brute like you, Iwa-chan!” The aforementioned was covering his mouth not to show them the food inside as he laughed out loud. “Perfect match!”

They finished dinner chatting about trivial things with Tooru and Susan getting to know each other, although they already had plenty of information thanks to Hajime. Susan asked Tooru about Argentina and the latest soap opera he was watching and, of course, she demanded to know all kinds of embarrassing stories about Hajime the minute after he stood up to pick up the table. He returned when Tooru was describing the time he had gotten stuck in a fence, trying to recover their volley ball from the neighbor’s yard.

“But enough about us…” Tooru decided to change the subject when his eyes met the look Hajime was sending him. He gulped and looked at Susan. “Why did you stay here this summer?”

“Oh, well, I…” Her face was covered by a light red and Tooru grinned.

“It’s because of Carol, right?” Susan blushed harder. “I knew it!”

“H-How do you know?”

“Iwa-chan loves to gossip.”

“Hajime!” The boy shrugged and smirked at his roommate.

“How long have you been together? Hajime didn’t mention it when he visited.”

“Shittykawa…” Hajime frowned at him.

“What? I’m behaving!” Tooru yelled, glaring at him. Then, he turned to Susan and softened his tone. “But of course, you don’t need to answer Susan, I’m sorry if I’m overstepping…”

“Nonono, don’t worry.” She chuckled. “We’ve been together for two months. We met at a party of one of my classmates, which is funny because she’s spent a lot of time in this apartment with Peter and yet we never ran into each other…” Susan flashed them a silly smile. “So that night Hajime finally introduced us and, well…” She blushed until the tip of her ears and Tooru cocked an eyebrow grinning.

“Something naughty?”

“TOORU!” Hajime slammed his fist on the table.

“I told her she doesn’t need to answer!”

“You’re being nosy!” Hajime stood up and Tooru copied him.

“And you’re being a-” Tooru pointed at him with his mouth opened but his brain couldn’t think of anything. Hajime grinned.

“Too tired to think of something or are you just stupid?” Tooru gasped, offended, but before he could retort Susan interfered.

“Guys, guys, stop it.” She chuckled, standing up. “It’s late, let’s go to sleep.” She grabbed his phone and passed by Tooru walking to her bedroom, but before entering she turned. “And Tooru, I’ll just say that Hajime slept at Peter’s that night.” She winked at them and closed the door.

Tooru grinned, forming an _okay_ with his hand and Hajime rolled his eyes behind him. He walked to his bedroom and Tooru followed him. The suitcase was opened at the end of the bed and Tooru’s discarded clothes on the floor beside it. Hajime grabbed them and threw them to Tooru’s face, ordering him to clean up his mess. Tooru simply put them on the back of the chair and Hajime shook his head.

They brushed their teeth and then Tooru scooped him out of the bathroom to have some intimacy. Hajime laughed and yelled that the freshener was on the right of the toilet, to which Tooru yelled back _thanks!_

Hajime spread his yoga mat beside the bed and took his extra pillow out of the closet. He sent a text wishing good night to his parents and connected the phone to the charger. He put on his pyjamas and laid on the mat, closing his eyes.

“What are you doing on the floor?” Tooru was staring at him from above.

“...sleeping?” Hajime frowned, as if it wasn’t obvious.

“On the floor? Come on Iwa-chan, up!” Tooru grabbed his hand and pulled, trying to get him to stand. “Hajime, you didn’t let me sleep on my couch, I’m not letting you sleep on the fucking floor!”

“I have my mat! And the bed isn’t big enough!”

“We’ll figure something out!”

“Tooru, go to bed, let me sleep here.” Tooru dropped Hajime’s hand and then laid down next to him.

“What are you doing.”

“I’ll make you company.”

“Oh my god, Shittykawa…” Hajime sighed exasperatedly. “I hate you.” He stood up and Tooru also did, jumping on the bed. He laid on his side, pressing his back to the wall. Hajime occupied the minimal space there was left for him, his back facing Tooru, his breath on his nape.

“I swear if you kick me to the floor, I’ll tell your mum.

“Yeah, yeah…” Tooru yawned and closed his eyes. “Good night Hajime.”

“Good night Tooru.”

* * *

Tooru slept wonderfully. His body was grateful for the soft mattress on which he had rested. Although he had woken up a couple times due to the heat coming from Hajime’s back pressed against his own, but he had been so exhausted after all the flights that he had gone back to sleep right away. 

When he finally opened his eyes at a reasonable hour, he realized Hajime wasn’t in the bed, but he heard the shower water running and discovered his whereabouts. Tooru stretched himself on the bed and yawned before grabbing his phone to answer unread texts, mostly from his mother demanding a call and some pictures.

Tooru rolled his eyes and took a selfie for his family chat group. He was in his fifth attempt when a towel hit him in the face.

“Hey!” He sat up in bed and pouted at Hajime who was already dressed and laughing at him.

“Payback.” Hajime chuckled. “Now get ready.”

“What are the plans for today, Iwa-chan?” Tooru asked with shiny eyes and Hajime shrugged.

“Nothing fancy, just a visit to the uni and…”

“Great!” Tooru beamed. “I wanna see all the places you mention in our calls!” With that, he jumped from the bed and walked into the bathroom, leaving Hajime a bit shocked.

After what seemed an eternity to Hajime, they left the apartment and began their day. Hajime didn’t live far from the university, twenty minutes on foot approximately, in one of the many housing districts that surrounded it. Tooru listened attentively to his explanations, that for now mostly consisted in which houses were better to throw parties and which were definitely off the table.

“Peter lives in one of the best, it’s not very far.” Tooru frowned, a bit confused.

“But I thought he was from here? California?”

“Yeah. But from San Francisco. Like seven hours by car.” They both laughed.

“Okay, he definitely needs a residence in Irvine. What about Carol?”

“She’s from Santa Ana, which is just fifteen minutes away. She mostly drives and when we haven’t pissed her off too much, she takes us home.” 

“I can’t wait to meet them.” Tooru smiled brightly and a light pink tainted Hajime’s cheeks.

They left behind the housing areas and began walking amongst faculty buildings. Hajime pointed at them while Tooru took pictures with his phone. They passed by several that taught engineering, the department of mathematics, the humanities building and one in which there were different lectures. Tooru paid attention to everything Hajime was telling him with sparkly eyes. Everything was strange to him. Classes, lessons, professor, exams, grades… He had left behind the student life and even though he didn’t regret it, part of him wondered what it would be like to live what he had seen so many times in movies. 

That’s why he couldn’t stop asking, and Hajime satisfied his endless curiosity. He told him that yes, they had lockers, but that they weren’t assigned at the beginning of the year, you had to apply for them.

“But I don’t think they’re useful. I’d rather have all my books at home and carry everything in my backpack.”

“Sure, sure… You don’t trick me Iwa-chan.” Tooru moved closer to whisper in his ear. “You just want to strengthen your back muscles, you jock!” He teased and dodged Hajime’s arm, stepping back. “But you should be careful, all that weight will keep you from growing any taller!” Hajime rolled his eyes and gave him a soft hit on the head.

Tooru returned his attention to the landscape. It was very different from San Juan. Walking through Parque de Mayo you only found vegetation surrounding you, but in Irvine, the green mixed with the grey of the buildings. It was nice, a different type of beauty. The trees covered them and shielded them from the July sun. Tooru was starting to get thirsty and hungry so when Hajime said the café was around the corner he almost dropped to his knees and kissed his feet.

The terrace of the cafeteria overlooked the central park and Tooru sat at a table while Hajime ordered their food. It was quite peaceful, though Tooru could guess that in term it must be crowded. He pulled out his phone and took more photos, those ones he sent to his family with the text _look where iwa-chan studies! isn’t it beautiful?!_

Hajime returned with two trays on which there was a bottle of water, a huge hot dog with fries and a donut.

“There you go, Shittykawa. Enjoy a typical American lunch.”

Tooru flashed him a huge smile before devouring the food. He rolled his eyes and moaned after the first bite at the hot dog. Sausage, crispy onion and ketchup: a delicacy of the gods if you asked him. Hajime laughed and also attacked his tray. Soon, they have eaten everything. Hajime checked his clock.

“It’s been, literally, seven minutes.”

“It was all delicious!” Tooru finished his water and left it on the table. He glanced inside the café, then at Hajime, then inside again, and at his friend again, until Hajime stood up laughing.

“Another donut?”

“With strawberry jam please!”

Hajime shook his head and disappeared through the doors. When he returned, there was a wrapped package on the table and Tooru looked at him smirking.

“Happy belated birthday, Iwa-chan!” Tooru exclaimed, doing jazz hands. Hajime smiled and shook his head, leaving the tray next to the gift.

“You didn’t need to-”

“Nonsense! How couldn’t I give you a gift? Are you out of your mind or what?” Hajime began unwrapping it carefully while Tooru grabbed his donut.

“Well, you’re here. That’s enough for me.” Tooru’s hand stopped one centimeter away from his mouth. He was grateful Hajime was focused on the present so he didn’t watch his flushed face. He would tease him endlessly for it.

Hajime finished removing the wrapping paper, finding a brown box. Tooru looked at him expectantly, chewing his donut. Hajime opened the box and found three simple t-shirts like those he wore regularly, with a slogan on the front.

“Tooru…” The aforementioned swallowed the last bite.

“Yes?” He asked innocently, and Hajime raised his gaze from the box to his friend in front of him, with a smile on his face.

“It’s in Spanish.”

“Oh, I know.” Tooru grinned.

“Are you gonna tell me what they say or what?” Hajime cocked an eyebrow.

“As funny as it would be to leave you with the doubt, yes, of course I’ll tell you.” Tooru licked his fingers and cleaned them with a napkin before grabbing the first t-shirt. It was a blue one in which Hajime only understood the word _deporte_. “This one says: _del deporte se puede salir_. It’s an expression meaning that you can always leave the sports life, it’s like comparing sport to alcohol, you know?” Hajime let out a loud chuckle. “I think it suits you, mister future AT.” Tooru winked at him and Hajime shook his head, taking out the second one. It was white with two beers printed next to the sentence.

“What about this one? I’m assuming something alcoholic.”

“ _Mi idea de una dieta equilibrada es una cerveza en cada mano_.” Tooru giggled and Hajime couldn’t help but think that his Spanish sounded perfect. “It means: my idea of a balanced diet is a beer in each hand. You can wear it to those parties you love.” They laughed together as Tooru grabbed the last one.

“I only understand google.” Hajime could swear Tooru blush a little before speaking.

“You can call me google; I have everything you’re looking for. You can wear it to a date.” Hajime chuckled softly.

“I guess I could, I doubt anyone would understand.”

“Exactly! That’s the fun!” Tooru put the shirts in the backpack he carried and where he had hidden them before, without noticing the fond smile on Hajime’s lips.

“Thank you so much, Tooru.” He shrugged and smiled back.

“Only the best for Iwa-chan.”

They resumed their walking through Aldrich Park. On the other side was the faculty of Sports Science. It was where Hajime spent most of his time. Tooru found it strange to be standing in front of those unknown buildings. For eighteen years, whenever Hajime went, Tooru followed. There was nothing they didn’t know about each other. And then, they had parted ways. Their dreams no longer converged, but their friendship had remained strong, which Tooru was really thankful for. He didn’t know what he would do without him.

Hajime kept talking, telling him everything, from the many times he got lost the first weeks of class to the grades he had gotten, and even though Tooru already knew all that, his heart filled with pride once again upon hearing him.

They reached the perimeters of the sports field where the rugby team was training and Tooru’s palms began itching. He needed to touch a volley ball immediately. Hajime noticed his sparkling eyes and burst out laughing.

“Don’t even think about it!”

“But- Iwa-chan!” Tooru whined.

“We’re not going to the gym.”

“I have to train!”

“These are your holidays. You’ll have plenty of time for that in Japan. Makki is already gathering everyone for a match next week.”

Tooru pouted all the way from the field until Hajime’s apartment. Not even the promise of jogging on Sunday had helped. Hajime had to buy another donut from the bakery on the street to cheer him up.

When they entered the flat, they saw Susan in a weird position in the living room. She stuck her head under her arm and greeted them.

“Hey guys! Hajime, I’ve just started, wanna join?” Tooru looked at him grinning. Hajime’s face was red as a tomato.

“Do you do yoga, Iwa-chan?”

“Maybe…” Tooru bent over laughing and Hajime blushed harder. “Stop laughing!”

“I’m sorry! It’s just I can’t picture you! Yoga?!”

“It’s good for the joints! You should try it!”

“I have an extra mat if you want.” Susan intervened, untwisting herself and standing up.

“Oh, no, thanks, I’d rather not…” Hajime snorted.

“What is it, professional player? Scared of stretching a little?” Tooru narrowed his eyes.

“What is that, Hajime? A dare?”

“A bet.” He grinned. “I bet you can’t copy all the postures. If I win, no one will go out for a run on Sunday, but if you win, we’ll spend the weekend at the gym.”

“Deal.” Tooru flashed him a smirk full of teeth.

They ran to the room to get changed while Susan took her other mat. She would show them the pose to perform and they’d have to copy her. They’d go round after round until one of them couldn’t do it and therefore would be the loser.

She started with simple positions like Utkatasana or The warrior, correcting him sometimes. Tooru was frowning in concentration, with his tongue stuck out, trying his best not to lose balance. Susan kept going easy on Tooru, but he noticed and became irritated.

“Don’t you have something more difficult? This is a piece of cake!” Susan and Hajime looked at each other grinning.

“Really?”

“More difficult, huh?”

“What should we make him do, Hajime?”

“The Scorpion would be fine, right?”

“Handstand or with a broken tail?”

“Broken tail, let’s not be too hard on him.” Tooru looked at them cautiously.

“Okay… How’s that one?” Susan showed him the picture and his face paled. He gulped. “Yeah, I can do it.” He said with a dry mouth. Hajime cocked an eyebrow.

“Are you sure?”

“Watch me!”

The truth was: he couldn’t do it, and not for lack of enthusiasm. He tried several approaches. First, he leaned on his forearms, doing a plank, and then tried to raise his legs and held all his weight. When he didn’t get it, he decided to start by doing a headstand, and thank goodness that Susan had foreseen his idea and stood up. She took his legs before he could fall and break his back or his head. Hajime laughed next to him, in a perfect position. Tooru pouted. He was determined to do it.

After a couple more failed attempts, Hajime finally stood up and decided to help him. He commanded him to return to the plank position and to throw his legs up, and so Tooru did. Susan held his right leg below the knee while Hajime placed his left one correctly, resting on the thigh.

Tooru tried to obey Susan, who was telling him to contract his abdomen and take deep breaths. He was strong but he had never actually lifted all his weights on his forearms. He focused his mind on the bet. He had to win, he had to defeat Hajime, he had to… 

“At the count of three, we let you go.”

“Don’t you dare, Hajime!”

“One…”

“Two…”

“Susan, please, don’t, I’m begging you!”

“Three!”

Susan and Hajime let go of his legs at the same time and Tooru collapsed on the floor, screeching. There was a brief moment of silence in which the roommates looked at each other concerned, until Tooru burst out laughing and they sighed relieved and joined him.

Tooru turned his head to face them, and Hajime laughed harder because, even if Tooru was chuckling, his face was still showing a panicked expression. Hajime extended his hand and helped him stand up.

“Come on Loserkawa, shower, dinner and bed. Tomorrow is a long day.” Tooru’s eyes shined excitedly.

“Where are we going?” Hajime grinned.

“Los Angeles, baby.”

* * *

_Keys, cell phone, wallet, water…_

Hajime mentally reviewed the contents of his backpack while he waited for Tooru to finish getting ready in the bathroom. It was nine a.m. and they had to leave as soon as possible if they wanted to walk calmly. He had planned a very busy day that he knew Tooru would love and he didn’t want to skip anything.

“Tooru! The bus leaves in fifteen minutes and it takes ten to get to the stop!”

“Coming! Coming!”

Hajime rolled his eyes. _I should’ve thought of that extra time…_

“I’m ready! We can go now!” Tooru exited the bedroom tying his shoelaces on one foot.

“Finally.” Hajime grunted, opening the door of the apartment. He grabbed his hoodie from the hanger and they left.

They briskly walked the deserted streets of Irvine until the bus stop. It had cooled a bit last night and Tooru was shivering.

“I told you you should’ve grabbed a jacket.”

“Don’t worry Iwa-chan, it’ll be hot by the time we arrive.”

If someone asked Hajime what was the one thing he hated the most about Irvine, he’d say public transportation. It was hell. It wasn’t normal that one hour by car would convert into three, if you were lucky. Yet, they didn’t complain. They got to the bus on time, and also to the train that followed it. Tooru looked from the window with a big smile covering his face, enjoying the views of the skyscrapers of downtown surrounding him, making him feel small.

They got off in front of a huge Escada store and Tooru observed the showcase with anxious eyes. Hajime shook his head smiling and grabbed his shoulders to turn him over so he could see where they were. Tooru recognized it immediately, not in vain; he had been raised by two women obsessed with Richard Gere. He let out a loud laugh.

“You remembered?”

“Of course I do, it was traumatic.”

They chuckled as they walked to the traffic light to cross the street and get to Rodeo Drive. When they were eleven, Hajime had stayed the night at his house, and they were arguing about which movie they’d watch when Kazue arrived, took the remote from their hands and told them she’d decide. Something about pregnancy privileges. Tooru and Hajime had to endure two hours of Julia Roberts’ smile and sighs from Tooru’s sister -and posteriorly, from his mother too- every single time Richard appeared.

They posed in front of the stairs -well, Tooru did; Hajime made a forced smile- and took a picture to make those two women envious. Tooru climbed the steps three at a time and let out a loving sigh when he reached the top.

“I feel so wealthy here…”

Hajime laughed beside him and together they dedicated themselves to exploring the stores. They got lost amongst the luxuries of Tiffany’s and Stefano Ricci, and their mouths watered with an impressive sports watch by Westime. Tooru, being as forward as always, immediately walked into the shop, since the price wasn’t in the showcase, and left one minute later with his face as pale as a ghost.

“That much, huh?”

“You don’t wanna know.”

Hajime patted his back lightly and kept walking, forgetting all about the unaffordable item.

When they passed by Versace, Tooru ran to check a black purse, and he was about to open the doors when Hajime stopped him and dragged him out of there. He couldn’t let Tooru know its price, his heart would break. Tooru complained, and screamed, and kicked the air while Hajime smiled to the rest of passersby so they wouldn’t think he was kidnapping him, which could be true if they were to listen only to his howls.

Tooru calmed down a bit when they left the famous alley. But as soon as his eyes found the Louis Vuitton store on the opposite side of the sidewalk, they sparkled, and Hajime prepared himself for an intense hour of letting Tooru to check whatever he wanted but without actually looking at the price. After a while, as they passed by expensive store after expensive store, he completely cooled down. _It was only because of the novelty!_ he exclaimed after Hajime teased him when he walked by Ralph Lauren without sparing him a glance.

At the end of the street, there was a Mexican restaurant where they bought a snack, and then crossed the road to sit down to eat it quietly on the grass in front of the Beverly Hills sign. Hajime checked on his phone the schedule of the bus they had to take while Tooru took selfies non-stop to make all his Instagram followers jealous.

Once they finished their tacos, they stood up and walked to the bus stop. Under normal conditions, Hajime wouldn’t have minded walking the two hours that separated them from their next stop, and he knew neither would Tooru, but they couldn’t afford to lose all that time.

They sat at the back and Tooru opened his box of chewing gum, offering one to Hajime who accepted it gladly. Tooru enjoyed the views from the window. He found fascinating just how many palm trees there were in that city. Of course, there were none in Japan, and he thought he remembered seeing a couple in San Juan, but that was it.

After approximately half an hour, they arrived at Hollywood Boulevard, specifically at the beginning of the Walk of Fame. Tooru wandered with a big smile plastered on his face and his head looking down, reading the famous names, searching for those he liked. Hajime shook his head and grabbed his shoulder to stop him before he hit a streetlamp.

“You know, I already bothered to look for the ones you’d love.” Tooru cocked an eyebrow, intrigued, while Hajime rummaged through his backpack until he found the map. Tooru tried to take it from his hand but Hajime was faster. “It’s a surprise! You just keep walking, I’ll let you know.”

“Fiiiiiiiine.” Tooru pouted slightly before smiling again and resumed his steps.

This time, he was looking up, letting himself be wrapped in the Californian atmosphere. It was weird. He’d never been there but it felt somehow familiar. He recognized the names on all the stores and fast-food restaurants, and of course he recognized the famous theatre where every year hundreds of celebrities gathered. Tooru was about to start running to it when Hajime grabbed his shoulder again.

“What is it?”

“You can look at the floor now.” Hajime grinned at him and Tooru obeyed.

The star of Tommy Lee Jones, one of his childhood heroes, was staring back at him. Tooru couldn’t remember the first time they watched Men in Black -he’d just turned three and Hajime’s dad took them to the cinema- but he remembered the countless times they had watched it later. He raised his gaze, beaming at Hajime.

“Iwa-chan, to the floor!”

“What?” Tooru dropped to the ground next to the star and extended his hand so he joined him. Hajime blushed a little bit embarrassed and looked around at the people passing by and looking at them.

“Tooru…”

“Oh, come on! Pretty please?!” Tooru pouted and his eyes turned watery. Hajime muttered and insult and laid on the floor next to him.

“Do it quickly.”

“Smile, Iwa-chan!”

He was fast, Hajime granted him that. He only repeated the selfie twice. They stood up and stepped aside so the rest of the tourists could copy them.

“Done it! I sent it to our families!” Tooru looked up from his phone and grinned at Hajime. “Next one is Will Smith’s, right?”

“Nope, he doesn’t have one.” Tooru’s eyes opened impossibly wide.

“You’re kidding me.”

“Why would I do that?” Tooru blinked a couple times before cursing loudly.

“How can’t he have a star?! What kind of world is this?! Hello?! Men in Black! Independence Day! And I know it’s not about aliens but I Am Legend?!”

Tooru kept ranting for a while about why Will Smith without a doubt deserved a star on the Walk of Fame and Hajime listened to him attentively, with a smile on his lips. He found it amusing, the way Tooru was screaming in Japanese but using Spanish swear words. The whole situation turned more surrealistic when a family heard them and who Hajime assumed was the father began agreeing with Tooru.

When the two of them finished venting, panting and breathing heavily, silence fell upon them, until all of them burst out laughing. They waved goodbye and parted ways, and Tooru tapped Hajime’s shoulder softly, commanding him to stop laughing at him.

“I can’t! That’d been hilarious!” Tooru smiled and rolled his eyes.

They kept walking until they reached the Dolby Theater where it was the creator of E.T. This time, Tooru didn’t drag Hajime to the floor -which he appreciated- but used him as his photographer instead, and he used his services once again a little later when they found Sigourney Weaver.

It had been a while since Hajime had seen Tooru that happy. Even though he had told him there weren’t any more interesting stars, Tooru didn’t care; he was still with his phone on his hand and looking everywhere with sparkling eyes.

Hajime checked his watch and after a few mental calculations, he decided it was a good time to have lunch. They walked a little more down the boulevard until leaving behind the Walk of Fame, and sat down on the terrace of a typical American hamburger restaurant. It didn’t feel like it, but it’d already been two hours since they had eaten those mini _tacos_ and their stomachs were growling. They ordered the biggest and most caloric burger they found and devoured it in the blink of an eye.

“I think I’m in love with this burger, Hajime.”

“I’m gonna marry it.”

“Can it cheat on you with me?”

“I’ll think about it.”

It was exactly what they needed to regain strength. That, and the twenty minutes they spent in the chairs sunbathing. Then, Hajime led Tooru to a metro station.

“Where are we going now?” He asked while Hajime bought some tickets.

“It’s a surprise.”

“Oh, is it?” Tooru grinned and raised an eyebrow.

“Ye-” Tooru rushed for him to try to snatch the papers from his hands but Hajime dodged him. “Don’t! You’ll know it in twenty minutes! Be patient just once in your life!

Patience had never been a trait of Tooru, but for Hajime, he’d try. They left the station - _weird_ , Tooru thought- and walked to the bus stop in front of it. Tooru looked at Hajime with a question in his eyes but Hajime simply flashed him a smug smile. One bus approached from the end of the street, and it was then when Hajime asked Tooru to close his eyes. He narrowed them, trying to read Hajime’s mind, and when he couldn’t, he simply sighed and obeyed him. Tooru heard the bus pulling off in front of them and Hajime helped him get on it. Only when they were seated, Hajime told him he could open his eyes.

“You’re being so mysterious today, Hajime. I like it.” Tooru winked at him and then turned to stare through the window, unaware of the blush that had run to his cheeks.

To Tooru’s surprise, the bus left the city right away, and started going up the mountain road. Tooru was lost, without a clue of their destination. It was a residential area, with parks, and houses, and kids everywhere, but five minutes later, it wasn’t that any longer. It was tall trees, picnic areas, people doing trekking and a couple parking lots here and there. He turned to look at Hajime, but he only smiled at him angelically.

It wasn’t until ten minutes later that Tooru finally got sight of the building at the end of the road and screamed. He’d have distinguished the three black domes of Griffith observatory anywhere. Hajime tried to calm him down, a little embarrassed, although the rest of the bus only smiled at them.

“Shittykawa, please, behave…”

“Hajime you’re the best!” Tooru engulfed him in a tight embrace and Hajime squirmed, a bit uncomfortable with the display of affection surrounded by all those strangers.

When the driver stopped the vehicle, Tooru jumped out of it and ran to the box office. Hajime was slow to react, a bit shocked, but he pulled himself together and quickly followed him.

Once inside, they realized the building was huge, with so many rooms and exhibitions. Tooru was a nervous ball, looking everywhere without knowing which hall to investigate first. Luckily for him, Hajime was calmer. He took a map of the observatory and in a few minutes, they had traced the route to follow.

They decided to begin with the Samuel Oschin Planetarium. They were among the first to enter, choosing one of the back rows to sit in. Tooru loved outer space. It was his other passion, so meanwhile the rest of the people found a seat, he dedicated himself to whisper to Hajime a bit of what they were about to learn, until Hajime laughed and told him maybe he shouldn’t ruin the surprise for him.

When everyone was seated, the lights were turned off and the ceiling covered with stars. Hajime didn’t miss the gasp that left Tooru’s mouth before the projection of the night sky and he turned to look at him. He seemed completely enchanted by it and Hajime high-fived himself mentally for bringing him there.

“People have always filled the sky with stories to explain the cycles of day and night, the circling of stars in the heavens, and the wandering of planets, to help them feel at home in the universe.” The lecturer began telling them. He was a young man with a Hindu accent. “Then, stories gave way to scientific theories…”

During the next hour, the astronomer told them all about Alexandria, and Claudius Ptolemy’s Earth-centered universe and Galileo’s Sun-centered solar system, and on to Edwin Hubble’s realization that the universe was not only incredibly vast, but also expanding.

When he finished, everyone clapped, including Hajime, who had found himself paying attention the whole time. He looked beside him and found Tooru smiling at him.

“You were so focused you didn’t notice when I talked to you.”

“Eh, well, sorry?” Tooru giggled.

“Nono, don’t be, I’m happy you liked it.”

They left the room, blinking a couple times to get used to the light again, and walked to the Zeiss telescope. They had argued about it: it was daytime, they weren’t gonna see anything, but Tooru didn’t want to miss it, so they waited patiently in the queue, only to see the clear sky, as Hajime has predicted.

After that, they headed to the exhibition Hall of the Eye, in which the progression at sky observation and the tools used for it were displayed. Tooru stopped at the Tesla coil, at every telescope, explaining Hajime each diorama and graphic. He drank every word that left his mouth.

Lastly, they went to the basement to observe The Big Picture, which was the largest and most precise astronomical image ever created. First, they checked it from up close, and then with the help of the telescopes located eighteen meters away. Tooru whispered in Hajime’s ear that they were watching the Virgo Supercluster of galaxies, and although he didn’t understand a thing, the excitement in Tooru’s voice was enough to make him smile.

Only after Tooru had checked that they had for sure seen absolutely everything did they leave the building. It was at that moment that Hajime got back his paparazzi role, snapping pictures of Tooru in front of the observatory and next to the Astronomers Monument, for which he had to squatted in order to get it in the photo.

“Let me see!” Tooru ran towards him, ripping the mobile from his hands. “How can you be that bad at selfies and then take these gorgeous pics?”

“It’s a gift I have.” Hajime shrugged, smiling.

“What a shitty gift, Iwa-chan.” The two of them burst out laughing.

Tooru was about to put the phone in his pocket when Hajime told him to wait, that there was something really important he hadn’t seen yet. Hajime led him to the observatory terrace and pointed at a spot on the mountain.

“It’s a bit far away, but I think using zoom it’ll look good.”

“Of course it will! Go, lean on the railing, I’ll take a pic!”

Hajime obeyed him and Tooru waited until the group of tourists next to him moved away so he could take his picture with the famous Hollywood sign. Then, they reversed their roles and finally took a selfie.

“Makki is gonna be so jealous…” Tooru mumbled while typing on his phone.

Hajime smiled and shook his head, and then led Tooru down the stairs, one hand on his lower back and the other on his shoulder. When they reached down, Tooru’s stomach growled.

“I’ll go buy something from the cafeteria, give me a min-” Hajime shook his head in denial.

“Come with me.”

They walked to an empty spot on the grass in front of the building and then, Hajime opened his backpack and pulled out a tablecloth that spread over the green. Tooru’s intrigue increased when he took out two huge sandwiches, a Tupperware with slices of different fruits and a water bottle.

“W-when did you do that?”

“When you were in the shower.”

“Have you carried it all day?” Hajime finished making himself comfortable and raised his head to answer him something funny like _of course dumbass, as far as I know I’m not a wizard, I haven’t magically made all this appear_ but his words remained in his throat when instead of the teasing smile he expected to find, he discovered a slight blush covering Tooru’s cheeks.

“Y-yeah.” The only word he could pronounce.

Tooru sat next to him and they ate in silence, just glancing at each other every now and then. Tooru’s heart was beating too fast. _It’s just the thrill of being here, nothing more…_ When they finished the food, there were no more excuses for the silence, the one that would normally have been very comfortable, sitting next to his best friend, but in that moment was charged with something Tooru couldn’t decipher. So, he decided to break it.

“What’s left to see? I feel like we’ve covered quite a few important things…” He sat crossed-legged, with his back facing the mountain, while Hajime laid on his back beside him.

“Well, let me think…” He closed his eyes and his eyebrows furrowed a little. “I’d say the Downtown and the beaches, Santa Monica and Venice. And well, Universal Studios, Warner Bros Studios, Disneyland, etcetera, etcetera.” He chuckled and looked at him. “There’s many things left so you may need to come again.” Tooru laughed and decided to lay next to him.

“But aren’t we going to the beach tomorrow?”

“Yeah, but it’s Newport beach. It’s closer to Irvine and Carol’s friends with the lifeguard, so we could act like fools.”

“Great. Just great.”

The sky was clear, without a cloud in the horizon. The sunset was going to be perfectly observable. For a while, they let the sound of the conversations of the other tourists fill their silence, that broke only with a whisper.

“Hajime…” The aforementioned turned his head to his best friend, who smiled holding his phone. “Shall we take another photo?”

“Sure.” Hajime whispered back.

Tooru opened the camera on his phone and stretched out his arm. Then, he looked at Hajime, whose gaze was already on Tooru’s face and a small smile on his lips. Tooru smirked and then pushed the button. His smug smile faltered and heat rose to his face when once the picture was taken, Hajime didn’t stop staring at him. Eventually, Tooru gulped and broke eye contact, checking the image on his screen.

They looked good. _Really_ good. He had no hesitation in setting it as his wallpaper, changing the selfie he had taken in his bathroom. Hajime’s laugh made him turn his face to him.

“God, you’re a sap.”

“Shut up, it’s a great photo!” The corners of Tooru’s lips went up.

“Let me see.” Hajime grabbed his hand to bring the phone closer to his face, and that minimal contact burnt his skin.

“You’re right. Send it to me.”

Tooru did, and then sat up. Hajime copied him and they stayed there, calm, in peace, waiting for the sunset. It was almost nine thirty when the sun began to hide behind the mountain, and Tooru was shivering a little beside Hajime. He rolled his eyes and pulled out his sweatshirt out of the backpack.

“Hey, put this on.”

“It’s okay, Iwa-chan. I can handle it.”

“I’m not willing to take care of you if you got sick, so please, do me a favor and put it on.”

“Fine, fine…” Tooru grinned. “ _Mum_.”

Hajime gave him a soft smack on his head and Tooru put on the hoodie, which was slightly big on his shoulders. Since their teen’s years, he had been the taller one, but it was Hajime who had the broader back. Tooru moved closer to him. Then, he hugged his knees and rested his head on Hajime’s shoulder.

“Thank you, it’s been a perfect day.”

Hajime didn’t know why his heart stopped. Maybe he should go to the doctor.

* * *

Carol leaned against the hood of her car, sunglasses on and head thrown back, enjoying the rays of the sun. They’d been lucky; it was a perfect day to go to the beach.

The door in front of her opened and Susan got out of the building. Carol’s mouth immediately turned into a tender smile.

“Sorry to keep you waiting!” Her girlfriend stood on her tiptoes to press a soft kiss on her lips.

“It’s okay, what happened?”

“Well…”

“I can’t believe this treason, Iwa-chan!”

“I warned you!”

“I can’t control myself sleeping!”

“Then you should’ve let me sleep on the floor!”

Carol observed the bickering between Hajime and who she assumed must be Tooru without understanding a thing since they were both arguing in Japanese. Tooru swung their portable fridge, almost hitting Hajime’s arm and Susan ran to them.

“Stop this! How old are you?! Seven?!” Hajime scoffed.

“If we were seven, he’d already be crying.”

“Of course I’d be! You only resolved things with violence! You mean gorilla!”

“Says the one who had just hit me with the fridge!”

“I’ve barely touched you!”

“Can someone explain to me what the hell is going on?” Carol stood a couple steps from them, eyes wide open, a raised eyebrow and what would seem as a concerned face if not for the way the corners of her lips twisted up. Susan let out a tired sighed.

“Apparently, Tooru kicked Hajime out of bed tonight.”

“Apparently?! My shoulder hurts from the fall, Susan!”

“Oh, please!” Tooru rolled his eyes. “You could have fallen by yourself for all we know. And you didn’t need to call my mother! She turned off the tap until I came back to Argentina!”

“Why do you care?! You have a salary!”

The two women stared at them at a safe distance, amused by the scene that happened in front of their eyes. Susan leaned forward and whispered they should stop them if they wanted to ever get to the beach, so Carol cleared her throat and, using her babysitter voice, yelled:

“Enough! You’ve made yourselves clear that your thing is tough love, now get in the car, losers! We’re going to the beach!”

Tooru blinked a couple times, finally realizing they weren’t alone. He coughed and walked to Carol, softening his expression.

“Carol, right? It’s so nice to meet you!” They hugged briefly but tightly. “The barbaric man I have as a best friend has told me wonderful things about you. Sorry for the spectacle.”

“Don’t mind.” She laughed and patted his back. “Good to meet you too. Hajime doesn’t shut up about his fantastic friend who is the starting setter of the best volleyball team in Argentina.”

“Oh, _really_?” Tooru turned around with his signature teasing smile on his lips to mock Hajime but he didn’t when he noticed he hadn’t heard them, too busy loading the trunk and grunting to himself.

“I knew it was a bad idea, I should’ve slept on the floor…” His three friends giggled upon hearing him.

“And may I know why one of you doesn’t sleep on the couch?” Carol asked them as they got in the car.

“I have no idea.” Susan said while taking the passenger seat. “But it’s their privacy, I didn’t want to meddle.” They laughed and turned to look at the back seats, where the two Japanese were staring at each other with wide eyes. In the end, it was Hajime who spoke.

“I don’t think either of us thought of it.”

Carol rolled his eyes and muttered _men are so stupid_ while starting the engine. Susan giggled next to her and turned on the radio. They drove around the uni and soon they had joined the highway.

“So, we’re going to Newport beach, right?” Tooru’s honeyed voice filled the inside of the car.

“Yep.” Carol provided. “There are usually not many people, most of them students.”

“Will Peter join us there?” 

“Yes, he’s driving with other colleagues.” Susan turned to smile at Tooru.

“Great!” His smile grew bigger. “I’m super excited for today. Hajime doesn’t stop telling me all your adventures!” Next to him, Hajime laughed.

“Don’t exaggerate, it’s just boring college life.”

“And uncontrolled parties where he comes home drunk and eats a frozen pizza because he’s too lazy to turn on the oven!” Susan added.

“I remember! He sent me a picture of the pizza!” Tooru burst out laughing and Hajime covered his face with his hand, embarrassed.

“I think my favorite drunk moment was the night we met-”

“Carol, don’t you dare!” Hajime tensed in his seat and Tooru arched an eyebrow, his lips spreading in a playful grin.

“Hajime, you told me you met them in class…” He half asked, half stated.

“Oh my God, you didn’t tell him?!” Susan widened her eyes and turned in her seat to stare at Hajime.

“Susan! I sent you the picture last month! Show him!” Carol stepped in.

“Please, don’t!”

“Please, do!”

Susan searched frantically through her phone gallery and handed it to Tooru. Hajime didn’t even try to stop them, he just stared at the window. He had already accepted that Tooru was gonna laugh at him and then send it to the Seijoh group. Tooru began chuckling loudly and Hajime knew he had just seen him holding a drunk Peter with his trainers covered in vomit.

As if he couldn’t be more embarrassed, Taylor Swift began playing on the radio and Susan turned up the volume. She and Carol sang at the top of their lungs while Tooru observed amused. When the song reached the chorus, Susan looked back at Hajime with a playful smile.

“Come on, Hajime! You _always_ sing with us and Pete!” His cheeks turned crimson red and Tooru stared at him with a mischievous grin and a cocked eyebrow.

“Iwa-chan! You don’t need to be embarrassed! I’ve heard you singing in the locker room too many times for that!” Then, Tooru used his secret weapon: pout and pleading eyes. “Please.” Hajime rolled his eyes and complied, he waited for the right moment and then joined his friends.

“ _Now I’m lying on the cold hard ground!_ ”

“ _Oh! Oh!_ ” The girls echoed.

“ _Trouble, trouble, trouble_ ”

Hajime’s sight was fixed on the back of his seat, but he knew Tooru’s was on him. A small smile crept into his lips. The rest of the drive consisted of the three of them teaching Tooru the lyrics to _I knew you were trouble_ so he could sing along with them.

When they arrived, they realized Carol was right and despite being a hot day of July, there weren't too many people so they quickly managed to find a parking spot near Balboa pier. They took the mini fridge, the parasol and their bags and headed to the sand.

Once they set up their stuff, Tooru removed his trainers, closed his eyes and took a deep breath, feeling the warm sand under his feet and the light breeze charged with tiny drops from the Pacific Ocean that caressed his face. It had been almost a year since he had gone to the beach. He hadn’t realized how much he had missed it. He took off his shirt in a swift motion, standing only with his white and blue swimsuit and sunglasses. Smiling brightly, he headed to the water, but a hand on his wrist stopped him.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Hajime frowned at him.

“To the water, obviously.”

“Did you put on sunscreen?” Tooru rolled his eyes.

“I don’t need it, Hajime! I live in Argentina! I sunbathe! I’m tanned now!” Hajime grinned and shamelessly checked him out. Yes, Tooru was tanner, but his skin was still too light.

“You know laying in the shadows of the trees at Parque de Mayo doesn’t really count as sunbathing, right?”

Tooru gasped. After a couple more minutes of bickering under the amused looks of Carol and Susan, Hajime got him to put on the sunscreen, and then he copied him.

The next hour passed by quickly amongst teasing conversations and games. Tooru got Carol on his back and Hajime did the same with Susan. The two girls fought, trying to make the other fall to the water. Hajime grinned at Tooru when Susan got an advantage and he began splashing water to Hajime’s eyes, making him step back into a hole. The Susan/Hajime tower collapsed and Tooru and Carol clapped their hands and cheered. Then, Tooru threw her into the water and she yelled _betrayal!_ Tooru ran through the water being chased by his friends. Eventually, Hajime got to him and drowned him while the girls encouraged him.

A whistle stopped the bullying. From the shore, Peter and the others waved at them. Hajime let go of Tooru, who emerged from underwater instantaneously, coughing and trying to get some air into his lungs. He took a moment to fix his hair and rubbed his itchy eyes, and then he followed them out of the water.

Peter would never forget the moment when his heterosexuality scrambled down as if it were a poorly built sandcastle that had been hit with a volleyball. His blood ran to his face -and other parts of his body- watching Oikawa Tooru walking towards him, gorgeous body covered in droplets of water and a bright smile on his lips.

“Peter! So good to finally meet you! I’ve heard a lot about you!” Tooru hugged him tightly and he felt his brain exploding. Miraculously, he was able to hug him back.

“T-Tooru!” _Come on Peter, react!_ “Me too.” Tooru stepped back laughing and Peter thought it was the most beautiful thing he’d ever heard.

Tooru went to greet the rest of the group and Peter stood still, trying to process what was happening to him, while Susan stared at him with a knowing smile on her lips.

Once the introductions were made, they returned to the water. Tooru had to admit that Hajime’s new friends were nice. They were polite, friendly, and curious about his own life in San Juan. While he answered their twelfth question about learning Spanish, he glanced at Hajime. He was a couple meters away, laughing with Tessa, one of the most beautiful girls Tooru had ever seen. He seemed relaxed, confident, and Tooru couldn’t stop the smirk that ran to his lips. He decided it was a good time to get revenge.

Tooru put his arm around Peter’s shoulders and whispered his plan into his ear, unaware of the effect his actions had on the poor boy. Slowly, they situated themselves behind Hajime and Tooru mentally thanked Tessa for not revealing their position, probably she understood they were up to no good.

“Payback time!” Tooru screamed.

Hajime widened his eyes and turned at the exact moment Peter and Tooru launched towards him, tackling him to the water. Peter wasn’t slim, by no means, he used to play basketball and he went regularly to the gym. That’s why everyone gasped when the tables turned and it was Hajime who was drowning them. Peter begged for mercy and snitched that it had been Tooru’s idea, so Hajime let him go.

“Not even with extra help you can defeat me, Shittykawa, should I call Blanco and tell him to toughen up your training?” Hajime laughed while pushing Tooru’s face under the water again.

A couple minutes later, Hajime decided he had messed enough with him and let him go. Tooru warned him he was definitely telling this to his mother and Hajime rolled his eyes while smiling and promising he’d make up for it.

They had lunch on the sand. Tooru, Susan and James -Peter’s roommate- under the sun, trying to absorb as much vitamin D as possible, while the rest of the group enjoyed the shadow produced by the umbrellas. When they finished, they collected all their garbage in a bag to throw it in the garbage can. Tooru offered as a volunteer and was heading to the promenade when an idea crossed his mind. He picked up his wallet and looked at the group.

“Since you’ve all been so nice, I’d like to invite you to ice cream.”

“Tooru you don’t need to-”

“Tessa, I insist. Please, tell me what you want.” With a smile, Tooru grabbed his phone to write down everybody’s order.

When he returned, there was an unknown man sitting with the others and a surfboard stuck in the sand next to the fridge. When Carol saw Tooru, she and the stranger stood up.

“Tooru! This is Victor, the lifeguard I told you about!” Tooru smiled in recognition and extended his hand.

“Right! Nice to meet you!”

“Nice to meet you too!”

Victor was a bit shorter than Tooru, with black hair, brown eyes and a gentle smile. They shook hands and sat with the group. It was when he was handing out the ice creams that Tooru turned to him with an apologetic face.

“Ehm, I didn’t buy you one because you weren’t here…”

“Don’t worry, it’s okay.” Victor chuckled and Tooru joined him.

Tessa pulled out the deck of cards she had brought and they began playing poker to pass the time. James declared they were too many to play individually so he’d be the dealer while the rest paired up with the person on their right. Carol with Susan, Peter with Hajime and Tooru with Victor. Tessa complained she was alone until Carol reminded her of the time she cleaned all their wallets. She shrugged and smiled innocently.

Victor leaned to whisper in Tooru’s ear, his voice sending a shiver down his spine.

“Do you play a lot of poker in Argentina?”

“Not really, we play _truco_ , with the Spanish deck.”

“Then it’s a good thing we’re not betting any money cause I suck at it.”

Tooru rolled his head back laughing out loud, without noticing Hajime’s look going from Victor to him.

They played for a while, with Tessa winning most of the time, although Tooru managed to trick her the last round making everyone clap and cheer for him. James picked up everybody’s cards and shuffled them.

“So, tell me Tooru.” The aforementioned stopped talking to Hajime and looked at Tessa. “Do you have a girlfriend waiting for you in San Juan?”

“Argentine women sure are beautiful.” Carol added, earning a bump on the shoulder from Susan. “But not more than you!”

Susan rolled her eyes and Carol hugged her, peppering her face with soft kisses. The whole group laughed and Tooru bit his bottom lip, looking at Hajime, who smiled at him and shrugged. Tooru swallowed and took a deep breath and then grinned at them.

“Nope, not a girlfriend, nor a boyfriend for that matter.” He didn’t notice Victor next to him arching his eyebrow. Tooru looked at Carol. “And although I agree with you that women down there are gorgeous, it’s the men who take my breath away.” He winked at her. Everybody laughed and James raised his beer.

“I’ll toast to that!”

“Me too.”

Victor’s voice came from his left side. He turned his head to look at him and found Victor with his bottle lifted, eyes focused on Tooru’s. They clinked their beers and after a few more seconds staring at each other, Tooru returned his gaze to the front and picked up the cards he had been dealt. He wasn’t stupid. He had perfectly recognized the desire in his eyes, he was used to seeing it. What he wasn’t used to was the feeling of his skin burning.

They lost the next game. Tooru had tried to bluff Hajime, but apparently his best friend knew him too well.

“Wow, would you look at that, Shittykawa? Finally, putting up with you my whole life has its reward.”

The rest of his teasing died in his lips as he watched Victor leaning towards Tooru, whispering something into his ear that made Tooru smile and nod. They stood up and Tooru removed the shirt he had put on to avoid getting sunburned. Hajime didn’t miss the way Victor checked him up shamelessly. He doubted someone had.

“I’m gonna teach Tooru some surfing, we’ll be back in a bit.”

“Have fun!” Carol grinned at them.

Hajime watched them taking the surfboard and getting into the water. Hajime frowned as Victor splashed cold water on Tooru who screeched and ran from him. Susan next to him cocked an eyebrow and snapped her fingers close to his ear.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, perfect.” Hajime moved to sit next to Carol. “Since when do you know Victor?” The girl blinked a couple times, surprised by the question.

“Since we were fourteen, why?”

“How many people has he dated? Was he serious about it? Did he cheat? Did-”

“Stop there.” Carol raised her hands. “Slow down. What’s all that about?” Hajime sighed and pointed at Victor, who was helping Tooru to sit on the board.

“That. I’m not blind. Victor obviously likes Tooru.”

“So?” Carol was confused. “I’m sorry, Hajime, but-”

“So, Tooru is my best friend. He may seem confident but I know him. He’s terribly insecure, and sensitive, and hasn’t fully accepted himself. I don’t know Victor, we’ve met a couple times and he seems nice but I don’t know him, not like you do, and I-” Carol put a hand on his knee.

“I get it.” Hajime sighed again.

“I just wanna know if I have to encourage him or not.” Carol chuckled.

“I don’t know if he needs more encouragement…” They turned to the sea, where Victor had Tooru caged between his body and the board. “But, only for your peace of mind, he’s a good person. He dated one of my friends and broke up amicably, so.” Carol shrugged. “Don’t worry Hajime, he’s gonna be fine.”

* * *

“So, ready for your first lesson?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be, I guess.” Tooru giggled nervously.

Victor motioned Tooru to put his foot on the board and tied the leash to his ankle. They went a little further from the shore, enough so that the water covered their hips but not enough so they couldn’t stand.

“Now what?”

“Now, you get on the board and lie face down. With those arms it shouldn’t be difficult but I can help you, if you want.” Tooru raised his eyebrow. Victor was flashing him a smug smile and Tooru decided he wanted to play along.

“Sure, an extra help never hurts. What shall I do?”

“Put your hands on the board.”

Tooru turned around and immediately he felt Victor gripping his waist and pushing him up. He gasped and grabbed the board. Then, he propped up his legs and moved until he was lying on it.

“Chest up.” Victor moved until he was grabbing the head of the board. “Now, you’re gonna do the pop-up.”

“The pop-up, right.” Tooru frowned. “What the hell is that?” Victor laughed and Tooru thought, not for the first time that day, that he liked that sound.

“It’s what we call the movement of standing on the board. It’s easy, I’ll guide you.”

“I feel like we should’ve practiced this on land…”

“It’s funnier this way.” Victor smirked.

As he had promised, Victor began explaining Tooru the jump step by step. First, he had to grab the sides of the board which wasn’t too difficult, he was already doing it. Then, at shoulder height, he had to stretch his arms. Tooru began losing his balance.

“This isn’t gonna end well.”

“Trust in yourself.” Victor chuckled while moving to the side. “Now, try to put your right foot on the fins.”

“The what?”

“The fins. Here.” Victor showed Tooru the place. “And then, as fast as you can, you move the left one to the middle of the board and stand up, okay?”

“Nope, but here I go.” Tooru laughed.

It was a disaster. As soon as Tooru moved his feet he fell from the board with a scream. Victor burst out laughing and walked to him, to make sure he hadn’t hurt himself falling. Tooru assured him he was fine and without realizing, suddenly, he found himself caged between Victor’s chest and the surfboard. His heart began beating faster and a light shade of red covered his cheeks.

“Not bad for a beginner.” Victor smiled and leaned forward.

“T-Thanks.” Tooru stuttered. Victor’s face was too close. Tooru’s mind searched frantically for a way out of there. He turned his head to the shore and found out his salvation. Hajime was motioning for them to come out while behind him the rest of the group collected their things. “Looks like we have to go.” Victor leaned back and looked at the shore.

“Oh, what a pity.” He turned his eyes to Tooru again. “I’d like to have spent more time with you.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“Really?” Victor’s smile grew bigger.

“Of course! I’ve had a great time!” Victor hummed to himself. It seemed like he was weighing an idea.

When they were about to walk out of the water, he spoke.

“One of my colleagues is throwing a party tonight, do you wanna come?”

* * *

Hajime felt uneasy and the worst thing is he didn’t know why. They had come back from the beach without a problem and he was in his room, rummaging his closet for a decent shirt to wear. He should be calm; he didn’t understand that pressure in his chest.

“Which one?” He turned to Tooru, who was standing in the middle of the room in his jeans, holding two shirts.

“Either is fine, don’t overthink it.” He shrugged and Tooru grunted.

“Iwa-chan, you’re not helping me! I need to look good!”

“You really like him, don’t you?” Hajime snorted. To his surprise, Tooru took his time before answering, a simple whispered:

“Yeah.”

Hajime stopped his searching and turned to look at him. Tooru had a silly smile on his face as he stared at his reflection in the mirror while buttoning the shirt. Hajime gulped, the pressure on his chest became heavier.

“Well, then it’s a good thing he likes you back.”

Hajime forced himself to smile at Tooru, to reassure him. Carol had said she trusted Victor, and Hajime trusted her. Tooru’s smile grew bigger and finished fixing his hair. Then, he sat on the bed looking at Hajime going back and forth from the bedroom to the bathroom.

“Iwa-chan.” Tooru called. Hajime glanced briefly at him to let him know he had his attention. “What is it like?” Hajime turned to him frowning carrying the deodorant in his hand.

“What are you talking about?”

“Kissing a guy.” Tooru’s expression was serious and Hajime felt his blood running to his face.

“Well…” He coughed, slightly uncomfortable. “It’s basically the same. Sometimes it may itch a little, depending on how he shaves?”

Hajime was suddenly unsure. He had made out with a considerable amount of people, but to be honest with most of them he had been tipsy so he didn’t exactly trust his memory. Tooru had a little frown and he was staring at a random point in his bedroom. Hajime knew his mind would probably be running wild and decided to tease him to lighten the mood.

“Are you worried about being a bad kisser, Shittykawa?”

“Yep.” Hajime scoffed.

“Tooru, you’ve dated half the female population in Seijoh. I’ve seen you sticking your tongue down some random girl's throat more times that I’d like. You don’t need to be nervous.”

“But it’s different this time!”

“It’s not.”

“He’s a guy!”

“The logistics are the same!”

Tooru was beginning to piss off Hajime. He kept rambling about how Victor was shorter than him but not as short as his ex-girlfriends, how they may bump noses, how maybe he doesn’t know where to put his hands…

“Enough!”

Hajime slammed the deodorant on the counter and Tooru jumped on the bed. In just two steps, Hajime was in front of him, one hand on his cheek and leaning forward.

Tooru crawled back instantly.

“What are you doing?!”

Hajime opened his eyes wide. The realization of what he had been about to do hit him and his face covered in red. He pushed Tooru away.

“I just wanted you to shut up, Stupidkawa!” His eyes lingered in Tooru’s lips for a second before picking up his phone and walking to the door. “Now move, Susan’s waiting for us.”

* * *

Tooru felt as if he was in a movie. The house was crowded, the music loud and even a disco ball hung from the ceiling.

Carol had picked up the three of them like she had done that morning and fifteen minutes later they had arrived at their destination. They were standing in a corner with a drink and Tooru may or may not be eyeing everywhere to see if he found Victor, regretting not having exchanged phone numbers.

“You know, I can text him if you want.” Carol grinned at him and took a sip from his cup.

“Nah, I don’t want to seem desperate.”

“But you _are_ desperate.”

“Susan?!” Tooru gasped and Peter laughed so loud some people turned to look at him. “Excuse me, I’m not desperate!” Hajime snorted.

“Sure you are, Desperatekawa.” Tooru stuck his tongue out to him and Hajime chuckled before finishing his cup in one gulp.

They resumed their chattering while Tooru kept glancing at the door biting his bottom lip. Hajime rolled his eyes and smacked his head. Tooru turned to look at him with narrowed eyes, rubbing the area that had just been hit.

“Enjoy the party, he’ll find you.”

“Fiiiiine.”

“Do you know how a party is more enjoyable?” Susan interceded. “Dancing!”

She grabbed Tooru’s hand and dragged him to the improvised dancing floor in the living room. At first, Tooru didn’t know how to move, too used to the Latin rhythms and not that techno bullshit that was blasting through the speakers, but soon enough he was copying Susan.

A couple songs later, whoever was in charge of the music had the brilliant idea to put the latest song from Juan Magan _Mal de amores_ and Tooru screamed. That’s what he was used to. Tooru swung his hips from side to side, before moving them in circles, with his bottom lip between his teeth and a silly seductive face aimed at Susan, who threw her head back laughing.

“ _Con electrolatino, mami vente conmigo, uoh, uoh, uoh_.” Tooru sang at the top of his lungs.

Carol left his cup on a random table on her way to joining them, moving her body as she had seen Tooru do. She and Susan began dancing together and Tooru booed them for ignoring him. Carol gave him the middle finger smiling against her girlfriend’s mouth. Tooru turned around and pointed at Hajime and Peter. Hajime shook his head and Peter blushed furiously watching Tooru dancing towards them.

Tooru was barely two steps away from them, extending his hand to Hajime, whose smile fell and eyes widened when two strong arms slid around Tooru’s waist.

“Didn’t know you could move like that.” Victor whispered in his ear and Tooru giggled.

“Well, we barely know each other.” He turned around in Victor’s embrace and put his arms around his neck.

“You’re right.” Victor grinned. “Maybe we should find a quiet place to remedy it, don’t you think?” Tooru flashed him a smug smile.

“Right behind you.”

Victor grabbed Tooru’s hand and led him somewhere Hajime wasn’t sure he wanted to know. The pressure in his chest had returned. Hajime walked to the kitchen and gripped the counter until his knuckles turned white. He took a deep breath, trying to steady his breathing that had become heavier and heavier as Tooru had walked away.

Thankfully, there weren't many people in the kitchen. He wanted some peace. He splashed some water on his face and dried it with a cloth that hung from the oven’s door, before grabbing a plastic cup to prepare himself another drink. When he was adding the gin to the mix, his eyes fell on the Tequila bottle.

_One shot’s not gonna hurt_

He drank the alcohol directly from the bottle, without salt or lime. The burning feeling in his throat served to clear his mind. Hajime took his drink, convinced that seeing Tooru with Victor wasn’t gonna provoke in him that hateful feeling that felt like jealousy but couldn’t be. It just… couldn’t.

Hajime shook his head and walked back to the spot where he had left Peter, who had been joined by two classmates. He greeted them with a smile, and tried to keep up with the conversation but his eyes kept wandering to the dancing floor, where there was no sign of Tooru or Victor. Peter noticed it and tapped in his shoulder. Hajime looked at him and then at the point he was signaling.

In a corner of the room, with his back pressed against the wall, Tooru was smiling at Victor. He seemed happy; he was laughing. He had his eyebrow raised and a flirty grin on his mouth. Hajime had seen it countless times directed at poor girls that didn’t know they didn’t stand a chance. But Victor did.

Hajime’s mind went blank as Victor put his hand on Tooru’s nape while he leaned forward and their lips met.

His mouth went dry as he looked away.

Beside him, if Peter had somehow noticed the lump that had settled in Hajime’s throat, he said nothing.

* * *

Hajime was right. It was the same.

It was the first thought that crossed Tooru’s mind as he moved his mouth. His body had tensed a bit at first but immediately relaxed. Victor’s lips were soft, and his tongue introduced a light aftertaste of rum on his palate that wasn’t exactly disgusting.

Tooru placed his hands on his sides, tugging his shirt forward as Victor pulled from the hair in the back of his head, making Tooru tilt his head. Victor ran his lips from Tooru’s mouth to his neck, tracing his jaw with his teeth meanwhile. He peppered the exposed skin with light kisses before biting down and sucking, drawing out a low whimper from Tooru’s throat.

They shifted their positions until Tooru had Victor caged between the wall and himself, looking at him with hunger in his eyes. Victor leaned into his ear.

“You drive me crazy…” Tooru felt all his blood running to his face as Victor whispered that simple sentence and then proceeded to suck his bottom lip. “Wanna see the garden?” Victor asked with a breathy voice and Tooru nodded eagerly.

* * *

At that point of the night, Hajime was sure he was a masochist or something.

Just barely a few seconds after looking away, he had looked back. He saw Tooru smiling while being kissed. He saw him moving to place Victor’s back on the wall. He saw his hands wandering up and down his sides. He saw Victor whispering in his ear, and the nod Tooru gave him.

He watched as they disappeared through the backyard door.

He needed another drink.

* * *

They were in the furthest part of the garden, behind the garage. 

Tooru’s back against the wall, Victor’s body completely pressed against him. They were devouring each other. Tooru had never felt like that, his skin was on fire. He rested his hands on Victor’s neck, thumbs caressing his jaw while he pulled from Tooru’s locks, earning a deep whine against his lips.

Victor’s hands wandered down his sides and his back, and Tooru grinned, thinking he was gonna grip his butt. He guessed wrong. His whole body tensed when Victor slid his fingers under the edge of his jeans. Tooru tilted his head to deepen the kiss and distract him, taking his hands and placing them on his waist. Victor smiled against his mouth and didn’t move his hands. For a while. A few seconds later he lowered one of them, rubbing Tooru’s thigh up and down before settling on his groin.

“Victor…”

Victor attacked his mouth, slipping his tongue between his lips at the same time he grabbed his half-hard erection over his pants. Tooru widened his eyes and pushed him away.

“Stop.”

“Why?” Victor whispered over his lips. His wandering hand was trying to sneak into Tooru’s jeans.

“I-I don’t want to… You know.” He turned his head to look around. There was no one in sight. Victor chuckled softly, completely misunderstanding him.

“I’m sure there’s a free room upstairs, we’ll be more comfortable…” He kissed his neck and a shiver ran down Tooru’s spine.

“I’m telling you I don’t want to.” Victor looked at him with a raised eyebrow and Tooru gulped. “Can’t we go back to just kissing?”

“Kissing?” Tooru nodded. “Just kissing, that’s what you want.”

“Y-Yeah…” Victor scoffed.

“You’re kidding me, right? How old are you, twelve?” He burst out laughing and Tooru froze, suddenly feeling too small and uncomfortable. Victor seemed to realize that and coughed a couple times to stop his laughter. He raised a hand to caress Tooru’s cheek. “Sorry, I was being an asshole.” He leaned forward. “Kissing, you said?”

Victor smiled and Tooru tried his best to copy him. Their lips met again and Tooru put his arms around his neck. It was nice. Something had broken, for sure, but it was nice. Tooru’s body relaxed and he opened his mouth to let him in. Victor pressed Tooru harder against the wall and slid one leg between his. All of Tooru’s senses were on alert again when Victor began rubbing his hips with his thigh. He pushed him away, harder this time. He was pissed.

“What the hell, Toru?!”

“What are you doing?!”

“I’m not touching you!”

“You’re humping my leg!”

“So?!” Victor frowned at him.

“I-I told you I didn’t want to… Do that.” Victor closed his eyes and sighed.

“Look, if you don’t want to have fun and an orgasm, fine by me. But you can’t leave me like this.” Victor took Tooru’s hand and placed it on his bulge. Tooru pulled it away immediately. His face paled and his mouth dried. He couldn’t speak, and Victor seemed to notice that he wasn’t gonna change his mind, so he started chuckling dryly. “Fuck, Tooru, you’re such a cockteaser…” He shook his head while smiling bitterly. “You look at me like that at the beach, you let me help you, you give me that smile, you kiss me like that, you fucking agree to come to the loneliest place to keep making out and then nothing?!” Victor’s volume had increased. He was mad. Tooru gulped. “You like it, don’t you? People watching you dancing, riling them up and when things get serious you leave them with blue balls!” Victor snorted. “You probably even jerk off to that later.” Victor put his hands inside his pockets and began walking back to the party. “Have fun alone!” He yelled.

Tooru was shocked. His hands were trembling and he felt his eyes watering. Victor’s words kept repeating in his mind. He slid down the wall until he sat on the floor hugging his knees. He hid his head in his lap and cried.

* * *

Hajime didn’t know how many drinks he had had.

He was trying so hard not to think of Tooru, who was who-knows-where doing who-knows-what with a guy he barely knew. He took a long sip from his cup. He felt a claw tighten around his heart.

_It’s the alcohol, you shouldn’t have drunk that much, Hajime._

For some stupid reason, his mind couldn’t stop conjuring Tooru’s face the evening before, staring at the sunset with _his hoodie_ on, leaning on his shoulder… Hajime shook his head and took another sip from his glass.

He rummaged through a kitchen’s closet, looking for some chips. All that drinking was making him hungry. He knew it wasn’t polite to assault a stranger’s cupboard, but he didn’t care. The owner of that food was probably passed out on a couch.

As he opened the bag, a man walked in the kitchen. Hajime didn’t even bother to look up.

“Hey.”

“Hey.” Hajime greeted back.

He wasn’t proud to admit it took him two minutes to process that it was Victor who spoke. _Victor_. Hajime’s body tensed.

“Where’s Tooru?” Victor shrugged as he grabbed a bottle of beer and walked away.

“Dunno.”

A horrible feeling settled in his stomach.

Hajime ran out of the kitchen, chips and drink immediately forgotten. His eyes scanned every face he crossed in the halls. When he got to the living room, he bumped into Susan who seemed maybe a little too happy to see him. She pronounced his name in slurred words and hugged him under the amused gazes of the rest of their group.

But Hajime didn’t have time for trivial conversations. He helped sit down Susan and asked if they knew where Tooru was. His friends frowned and shook their heads. He barely registered Carol’s worried _is everything okay?_ before pushing away some strangers and making his way out to the backyard.

The garden was more or less empty, just a couple of small groups laughing and talking without the loud music bothering them. Hajime clicked his tongue, looking everywhere. Maybe Tooru, being the social butterfly he was, had joined another group, but none of the brunette heads Hajime saw corresponded with Tooru’s.

Finally, he turned the corner of the garage and discovered Tooru sat against the wall with a serious expression on his face, staring at the front, and he ran to him.

“Tooru!” The aforementioned blinked a couple times and raised his eyes, meeting Hajime’s who was kneeling by his side.

“Iwa-chan?”

“What happened?! Are you okay?” It seems like it was at that moment that Hajime finally processed the tears on his cheeks and clenched his fists. “What did he do?” Tooru looked away and his face covered with a light shade of embarrassed red.

“Nothing.” His voice was so low it was a miracle Hajime heard him.

“Don’t fucking lie to me, Tooru.”

“I’m not!” Tooru looked back at Hajime, but he had to look away again because he didn’t want to face the concern in his eyes.

_Nothing had happened Tooru, grow up! What are you, twelve?!_

“Tooru…” Hajime sat beside him.

“He did nothing, just…” Tooru sighed. “He said some hurtful things when I didn’t want to… Continue upstairs.” Hajime thought he couldn’t clench his fists harder but it was proved wrong after hearing that sentence.

“What did he say?” 

“It’s not important…”

“Tooru, what did he say?” Tooru took a deep breath.

“He called me a cockteaser.” He mumbled. “Amongst other things.”

Hajime felt his blood boiling up. He was going to kill him if he ever saw him again. He hated people that didn’t respect boundaries or demanded something the other person was clearly not willing to give them only because they thought they deserved it.

“Tooru, you know he’s not right, right?” Tooru nodded lightly and Hajime was sure the feeling in his chest was his heart breaking upon seeing him like that. “Do you wanna go home?” He whispered. Another nod, more insistent that time. “Okay, I’ll call a cab.”

They still sat there for five minutes before going back into the house to tell Carol that they weren’t coming back in her car. There were a few questions asked about Tooru’s red eyes that he dismissed by saying someone had smoked in his face and they had become irritated. The group seemed to buy it.

Hajime waved goodbye and turned around to walk to the door when he saw it. Victor dancing with another man in the middle of the room, smiling, calm, happy, as if he had forgotten how much he had hurt Tooru a short while ago; as if he didn’t care.

He blamed his next actions on the alcohol.

Hajime walked towards him, pushing people away from his path, barely hearing Tooru calling for him, and when he was standing behind Victor’s back, he tapped on his shoulder. The boy turned around with a frown that relaxed when he realized who he was.

“Oh, Haji-”

Before he could finish, Hajime’s fist had already met his nose. Victor _screamed_ and stepped back with his hands covering his face and blood spilling through his fingers. The music stopped and people began gathering around them.

“You broke my nose! Are you crazy?!” Victor hissed in pain while Hajime stood there, grinning sinisterly. He turned around to walk away but a hand in his shoulder stopped him.

Victor launched forward and the hand that wasn’t covering his face impacted Hajime's mouth.

“Shit!” Hajime cursed, tasting the blood from his broken lip. He sent Victor a look full of hate, similar to the one he was sending him.

They had only taken a step forward when Carol stepped between them. Hajime felt two pairs or hands gripping his arms and looked over his shoulder to find Peter and Tooru holding him back, while Carol put her hands on Victor’s chest. She turned her head and stared at Hajime.

“What the hell, Hajime?!”

“Iwa-chan…” Tooru whispered in his ear, his eyes looking at Victor. “Let’s go. The cab must be here already.”

Hajime swallowed and licked his lips, trying to stop the bleeding, and nodded. He grabbed Tooru’s hand and walked away, not bothering to look behind. He just wanted to leave.

* * *

Only the sound of the kitchen clock and the occasional hisses Hajime let out were heard.

“Be still.”

“It hurts.”

“You can’t go around breaking noses and hope they don’t give it back.”

“But he hurt you.” Tooru closed his eyes and sighed.

“I told you I was fine; he didn’t do anything.” Hajime gripped his wrist before Tooru could press the ice cube on his lip again.

“I know you. I know there’s more you’re not telling me, and I’m not gonna force you to do it, but…” Tooru had looked away so Hajime grabbed his head and forced him to stare at him. “Just know that whatever he said, it was bullshit.”

“I know.”

“I swear not all men are assholes.” Tooru laughed softly.

“I know Iwa-chan.” He took his hands and placed them on his lap. Then, he took the ice cube again. “You’re not.”

Tooru’s lips curved into a small smile and Hajime’s heart skipped a beat. They were close, sitting on the couch, with the wet blood-stained cloth on the table next to them. The bleeding had stopped, and the lip wasn’t as swollen as before, but Tooru had insisted on keeping applying the cold from the ice. He had his tongue stuck out and his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. With one hand, he held Hajime’s jaw and with the other he pressed the cube against his mouth.

Hajime couldn’t take his eyes away from his face, and wondered if he was the only one that felt an invisible tension surrounding them. He raised his hand to absentmindedly caress Tooru’s cheek. Tooru’s gaze wandered from Hajime’s mouth to his eyes. Hajime tucked a lock of hair behind his ear and Tooru gulped.

“Tooru…”

The moment broke as soon as Carol slammed open the door with Susan behind her, making them jump on the couch and lean back.

“Hajime you better explain to me _right now_ why I just had to take my friend to the hospital with a broken nose!”

Susan, who seemed sobered up already, talked to her in a soft tone, trying to calm her. But Hajime understood her anger. He had also sobered up in the cab and realized that he had overreacted. He shouldn’t have broken his nose. A black eye, a split lip, a push… But not a broken bone.

“I-I’m sorry Carol.” Hajime turned his head to look at Tooru, as if asking him for permission to tell them. Tooru closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Then, he met the look of the arms-crossed girl that stood next to them.

“He did it because Victor had told me lots of hurtful things.” Carol and Susan frowned. “He, well…” Tooru sighed. “It may be because I’m not American or something but I didn’t feel like doing anything right away with someone I barely know and he didn’t understand, so…” Tooru looked at Hajime. “But that’s not an excuse for your behavior.” He looked at Carol again. “I hope he’s okay, really.”

“Tooru…” Susan whispered.

“I’m fine, don’t worry!” He flashed her his biggest smile that night and stood up. “But I’m really tired. It’s been a long night.” He faked a yawn. “See you tomorrow, good night.”

Tooru quickly disappeared behind Hajime’s door. Hajime sighed and stood up, collecting the bowl with the water that used to be solid and the towel and walking to the kitchen. The girls followed him.

“What did Victor say?” Susan asked.

“He hasn’t told me either.” Hajime whispered, throwing the cloth in the washing machine and putting the bowl in the sink.

He wished them good night and walked to his bedroom to put on his pyjamas. When he entered, Tooru was already changed, tucked on the bed with his face facing the wall. Hajime tried his best to be as quickly as he could in leaving the room in order to let Tooru rest.

In less than five minutes he had gone to the bathroom, brushed his teeth and changed his clothes, all while sparing furtive glances to Tooru’s back.

“Iwa-chan…” Hajime’s hand stopped ten centimeters away from the doorknob. Tooru turned his head and he did the same. “I-I knew it’s more comfortable for you to sleep on the couch, but-”

“Yes.” Tooru flashed him a small grin.

“I didn’t finish.”

“You didn’t need to. Now move.”

Tooru moved closer to the wall and Hajime laid down behind him, their backs pressed together.

“Good night, Hajime.”

“Night, Tooru.”

* * *

_**28th February, 2015.** _

Tooru was lying on his back on his bed, waiting for the clock to strike twelve p.m., which would be midnight in Japan, first of March, Mattsun’s birthday.

He held his phone up close to his face, looking through his gallery, with a big smile on his face. He didn’t like to delete the pictures and he was grateful. He found the one he had taken with Peter, Susan and Carol after his first -and last, for now- trip to California. Thankfully, Carol had agreed to drive them to the airport - _no buses or trains, yay!_ \- and Peter and Susan agreed that a farewell at the airport would be perfect and jumped in the car.

Tooru’s smile grew bigger when he found the selfies he had taken with Hajime on the plane, doing all sorts of silly faces. Hajime had spent the whole day trying to cheer him up, going as far as agreeing to use some of the most ridiculous filters in his camera. Tooru’s thumb caressed the screen. He missed him terribly.

Three days ago, they had video called and Hajime had told him he liked him, and Tooru’s heart had exploded in his chest. Because he knew Hajime didn’t just _like_ him. He knew. The feeling was stronger, and he had wanted to tell him so, but…

_Hajime, I…_

_Wait! Don’t say it if I can’t kiss you after._

Tooru giggled, alone in his room. If everything went according to plan, they’ll meet next August. Tooru couldn’t wait.

The alarm he had set sounded exactly when he swiped right and Ushiwaka’s ugly face appeared on his screen. Not even Hajime looked handsome in that horrible selfie. Cute, maybe, but definitely not handsome. Thanking the time lords, he closed the gallery and opened their group chat. He cursed; Hajime was ahead of him.

**_Fantastic Four_ **

**Iwa-chan <3**

Happy birthday!

**Tooru**

happy birthday mattsun!!

fuck iwa-chan!

**Iwa-chan <3**

Je je

**Mattsun**

Oh, thanks guys!

But if you’re competing for being the first, well

**Makki**

I won bitches!

**Tooru**

that’s not fair!

you live with him!

**Iwa-chan <3**

Tooru’s right

Makki doesn’t count

Which means I win

**Makki**

You’re such a pair of bad losers

**Tooru**

fuck u

**Mattsun**

As soon as you shut up ;)

**Iwa-chan <3**

I really didn’t need to know that

**Makki**

We didn’t need to know what you and Oikawa did either and you told us anyway

**Tooru**

Hajime!!!!!!

**Iwa-chan <3**

He’s lying!

**Mattsun**

Best beginning of a birthday ever

**Tooru**

whatever

what time tomorrow?

**Makki**

9:30?

We’re having dinner with his parents later

**Tooru**

perfect!

**Iwa-chan <3**

Shit

Mattsun you owe me

You’re making me wake up at 5:30

**Mattsun**

Don’t worry

I’ll make it up to you ;)

**Makki**

Rolling my eyes

Pretending I do not see

**Tooru**

go makki punish him!

anyway i gotta go

see you tomorrow guys!

**Iwa-chan <3**

Bye Tooru

Have a nice day <3

**Tooru**

bye hajime <3

**Makki**

Right in front of our salads… 

**Mattsun**

Ten minutes and my birthday is already ruined

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who knows what will happen next chapter o.o
> 
> Hope you liked it! Let me know your thoughts on the comment section! :)


	11. Therapy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tooru took a deep breath and rang the bell. A buzz told him it was open and he pushed the door. He went up the stairs to the second floor and rang the bell again. He had to wait a couple seconds before hearing some steps approaching and the door opened. A middle-aged woman with a bright smile appeared in front of him.
> 
> “¡Hola! You must be Toru, right?”  
> “Yes. Good morning, Paula?” The woman nodded and stepped aside to let him in. Tooru immediately felt his heart speed up its beating.  
> “Give me five minutes to finish with the other patient.” Patient. Just like him. He was a patient. The nerves he had managed to calm on his way there were rearing their heads again. He gulped, feeling his mouth dry.  
> “Sure.”  
> “Sit down, make yourself comfortable.” Paula pointed inside the room before disappearing through another door.
> 
> Tooru took a deep breath and walked to the black couch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: this is gonna be a short chapter  
> Also me: 13k words
> 
> I'm not a psychologist so please forgive me if there's something inaccurate😅
> 
> I hope you like it!

**_24th February, 2015._ **

“Good night Iwa-chan.”

“Good night.” Tooru noticed the pause Hajime made before adding, in the softest tone he had ever heard him. “My Tooru.”

Tooru hung up immediately with trembling hands. He leaned his back on the wall of the pub and tried to steady his breathing and his beating heart. He counted from ten to one, closing his eyes and flexing his fingers.

_my tooru my tooru my tooru my tooru my tooru_

Those words kept repeating in his head. He had read them, of course, -first in the letter and then in multiple texts from Hajime- but _hearing_ him, hearing that deep voice whispering them… His heart was about to leave his chest.

He took a look around him. The team was in one of the private rooms celebrating Pedro’s birthday and he had moved away from the group as soon as he saw the name of his screen, so no one had seen how it had affected him that brief conversation.

His cell phone felt heavy in his hand and there was a lump in his throat. He needed to get some air.

Tooru walked through the dancing crowd until he found the emergency exit and pushed it with all his strength. When the door closed behind him and everything turned into silence in the alley, he screamed.

He screamed and screamed and screamed and kicked an empty can of beer so hard it went flying to the road. Then, Tooru leaned his back against the wall and slid down to the floor, hugging his knees and hiding his face in his lap, trying to control his tears.

The door of the pub opened and for a short moment, the loud music coming from inside was able to shut down his thoughts. Tooru heard steps approaching him and cursed, he didn’t want to deal with some drunk stranger.

“Are you okay?” Tooru looked up when his brain recognized the voice. Blanco stood in front of him, with a worried look on his face. Tooru flashed him an ironic smirk.

“Perfect, can’t you tell?” His voice broke and a sob shook all his body.

Tooru returned his face to his lap. Blanco took two steps towards him and then slid down next to him. He didn’t say anything. Tooru wondered what was going through his head. What if he decided he wasn’t in the right state of mind to play? That’d be the last straw. No Iwa-chan, no volley…

“Sometimes life gets messy.” Blanco spoke up, cryptically, and Tooru looked at him with a cocked eyebrow. “It puts too much on your plate and you wonder _why me? I’ve never done anything wrong; I don’t deserve this_. Or maybe it’s the opposite and your head keeps screaming that you’re worthless and stupid and it’s _normal_ people try to take advantage of you.” Blanco turned his head to stare at Tooru, who only grimaced.

“Is that supposed to help me?”

“I’m just saying that what you’re feeling is normal, but it can be overwhelming. It helps having someone to talk to…”

Tooru looked in front of him, lost in thought. What Blanco had said made a lot of sense, but there was only one person he could talk about everything without feeling judged, and now even him was out of the possibilities. Tooru let out a dry laugh.

“I used to have Hajime. We could talk about everything, but now…” Tooru curses and makes a feint of hitting the ground with his hand, but Blanco stopped him.

“I’d appreciate it if my star setter didn’t break his hand over some bullshit.”

“Sorry…” Tooru mumbled.

Neither of them spoke for a while. Tooru’s breathing was heavy. He had pulled out his phone and stared at his wallpaper, his thumb caressing Hajime’s face. He felt stupid. If only he had realized sooner…

“I wasn’t talking about Hajime.” Tooru blinked a couple times and looked at him. Blanco had his phone in his hand and was scrolling down his contact list. “I meant someone more professional.”

“Huh?”

“A psychologist.” Tooru tensed his shoulders and got defensive.

“I’m not crazy.” Blanco chuckled.

“Yeah, that’s the usual reaction.” He smiled fondly at his screen. “I’ve been going to Paula since I came back to Argentina, and when I lived in Japan, I visited Akira-San once a month.” Blanco turned his head to grin at Tooru. “Do you think I’m crazy?”

“Yeah, sometimes.” Tooru widened his eyes and covered his mouth while Blanco burst out laughing. “Sorry! It’s the shots!” Blanco patted his back.

“Don’t apologize, you’re right.”

Tooru considered for a moment his words. A psychologist? He didn’t know of anyone that went to them. Well, until that moment. He glanced at Blanco, who had his arms crossed over his chest and his eyes closed, seemingly enjoying the slight breeze.

“And what-” Tooru took a deep breath. “What should I tell her?”

“Whatever you want.”

“What do you talk about?” Blanco raised an eyebrow at him. “If you don’t mind telling me, I-”

“Mostly how I’ve felt for the last month, what I’ve accomplished, if there’s been any kind of stressful situation… And it doesn’t need to be intense all the time, you know? Sometimes I’m just happy and I like sharing it, telling her some of the stupidest things you’ve all done…” Tooru laughed and Blanco shrugged. “You know, that stuff.”

Tooru nodded and rested his head on his knees. Blanco could perfectly picture the gears of his brain working and fume coming out from his head. He was worried about him. Ever since his fight with Hajime, Tooru hadn’t been his best, constantly distracted and barely talking. The gifts Hajime had sent him had cheered him up a bit -he even wore the hoodie to practice- but Blanco still found him sometimes staring blank at random spots, lost in thought. He extended his hand and Tooru looked at him with a questioning face.

“Give me your phone, I’ll save her number.”

“Thanks, but I haven’t-”

“Just in case I’m not around when you make up your mind.”

Tooru nodded and handed it to him. He watched Blanco’s fingers traveling over his phone and typing down _Paula Psicóloga_. When he finished, he returned it to him with a smile. Tooru stared at the new number. Next to him, Blanco attempted to stand up, but Tooru’s doubtful voice stopped him.

“It’s just… I don’t know what to talk about.” Blanco frowned. “My mind is blank, no coherent thoughts, and all I feel is… sadness, and emptiness, and rage, and…” Tooru wiped away some tears from his cheeks and Blanco put an arm around his shoulders. “And I don’t know! I feel like I’m about to explode when he talks to me! He just called cause he wanted to hear my voice! What’s that supposed to mean?!”

“I-I don’t know.” Blanco truly didn’t know what to tell him, he had been as surprised as the rest of the team when Diego told them that Hajime had gone on a date with someone else.

“It hurts so much… Loving him…” Tooru hiccupped and took a deep breath before continuing. He’d tell Blanco everything. “A-and the nightmares are back.”

Blanco tensed completely. At the beginning of the season, they played an afternoon match in Cordoba so they booked hotel rooms since it was impossible to return to San Juan on the same day. Blanco remembered perfectly the moment Diego knocked his room door at four a.m. with a split lip and a ghost-paled Tooru next to him. He cursed himself for not having pushed Tooru to get help back then but it only happened four times before subsiding so…

“I-I haven’t had them in months! And never in my bed!” Tooru yelled. “It felt so real… I was again in that shitty hotel and he…” His whole body was trembling from the intensity of his sobs.

Blanco hugged him tightly and Tooru cried harder. Tooru didn’t know how much time passed, but he needed to let it all out. Little by little, he calmed down and separated from Blanco, who offered him a tissue. Tooru muttered a soft _thank you_ and blew his nose.

“I’m sorry. This has been embarrassing.”

“It’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with crying.” Tooru’s lips formed a small smile.

“I’ll call her tomorrow.”

“I think it’s a good idea.”

Blanco ruffled his hair and they both stood up. At that moment, the door burst open and Diego left the pub tottering until leaning his hand on a wall.

“There you are! I was looking for you!” Diego launched himself towards Tooru who made a grimace after smelling him. Blanco laughed and wished him good luck before going back inside.

“ _Che_ , did you drink all the vodka in the bar or what?”

“Of course I did! It’s a parrrrty!” Tooru rolled his eyes and was about to put one of Diego’s arms around his shoulders to get him to a cab when sticky fingers grabbed his chin and forced him to look at Diego. “You’ve been crying.” Tooru laughed dryly as they began walking.

“Yeah, I have.”

“What happened?” Diego slurred his words, but Tooru was used to it so he understood it perfectly. He clicked his tongue, unsure if telling him was a right choice, but he was his friend -his _very drunk_ friend- and he knew he wouldn’t stop asking.

“Iwa-chan called me.”

“What?!” Diego widened his eyes and stopped his steps.

“Yep. Just to hear my voice. Keep walking, you’re heavy.”

“But that’s… great, right?”

“I-I don’t know.” _Shit_ , there it was again, the lump in his throat.

Diego didn’t reply, which Tooru thanked deeply. They got to the taxi stop and Tooru helped Diego to sit on the curb of the sidewalk. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It had been a night filled with emotions and he had many things to consult with the pillow. Hopefully, he’d get a night full of sleep.

“Toru.” He looked down at Diego.

“Yes?”

“Talk to him.” Tooru sighed.

“I’ll think about it.”

“Face to face. Skype.”

“I said I’ll think about it.”

“Stop thinking and do it!” Diego whined. Tooru rolled his eyes.

“Okay, fine, I’ll do it. Would you shut up now?”

Diego nodded and returned his gaze to the neon sign on the opposite side of the road. Tooru wondered if it wouldn't be too late to transfer to Bolívar.

“Hey.” Tooru looked down again with an arched eyebrow. “Can I have your phone? I need to text Andrea and mine’s dead.”

“Really?” Tooru frowned. She would be asleep and couldn’t care less what time he’d come back home as long as he did it.

“Pleeeeease.”

“Sure…” Tooru handed him his unblocked cellphone and waited patiently until Diego returned it with a big grin on his face. Tooru frowned and searched for his messages.

**To: Iwa-chan <3**

Skype tomorrow at 6? (Your 6, my 10)

**From: Iwa-chan <3**

YES.

I’ll be there.

“DIEGO!”

“Someone’s eager to talk to you.” Diego singsonged and, despite all his anger, Tooru blushed.

“S-Shut up!” Diego’s grin grew bigger.

“I’ll be at your house at five thirty by the way. Gotta threaten his Cali ass.”

Diego hiccupped and Tooru smiled fondly at him before looking back at his screen. He bit his lip rereading Hajime’s answer, and his heart increased his beating. Diego was right, they needed to talk. More blood ran to his cheeks as he typed. 

**To: Iwa-chan <3**

my my

so eager Iwa-chan <3

* * *

**_1st March, 2015_ **

Tooru tied his shoelaces sat on the bed. He stood up and took his laptop, carrying it to the living room table where he had placed his breakfast tray. He bit his toast while the screen lit up. He glanced at the clock on his wall. Twenty-five past nine. Maybe Makki and Mattsun were already ready. He pulled out his phone and texted them. Immediately, he heard a ping coming from his laptop. A videocall. He smiled and accepted it.

“Good morning!”

“Good night, you mean.” Makki smirked. Tooru rolled his eyes while Mattsun appeared on frame, sitting next to his boyfriend.

“Not this again.”

“He’s right Hiro. Every single time, you make the same joke. Not funny anymore.” Makki gasped.

“Betrayed by my own boyfriend! I’m not giving you any present mister!”

The three of them laughed and Tooru glanced at the clock once again. The time agreed had passed and there was no trace of Hajime. Tooru bit his lip, unsure if he should text him or something. Makki grinned at him.

“Thinking about calling our mister grumpy cat?”

“S-shut up!”

“Don’t worry, let’s give him some time. He's not gonna miss this opportunity to see you.”

Tooru blushed a bit and kept eating his breakfast. On the screen, Makki disappeared a moment to get the present for Mattsun. Tooru thought with a taint of sadness that luckily, they had organized it before everything between Hajime and himself had crumbled down, because he couldn’t picture them two weeks ago having cheerful video calls hidden from Mattsun planning everything.

“How’s life as an old man?” Mattsun showed him the middle finger and laughed.

“So funny, how does it feel being asked for the ID to go into a bar because you look like a minor?”

“Hey!”

“Come on children, don’t fight, what happened?” Makki returned to their living room with a white envelope.

“Your boyfriend says I have a baby face!”

“Well, he’s right.”

Tooru gasped, exaggerating feeling offended, while his friends high-fived and chuckled. At that moment, a bubble on the screen indicated that Hajime was on line and Mattsun invited him to the call. When his face appeared on the screen, Tooru felt his heart jumping on his chest.

_My Tooru_

_I wanted it all_

_Don’t say it if I can’t kiss you after_

_I like you so so much_

Tooru studied his surroundings. Hajime was sitting at his desk, with his blue earphones connected and a grey UCI hoodie similar to the one he had sent Tooru on. It seemed new; he must have bought it after making the package. Tooru felt his cheeks heating up. Would Hajime think of him wearing it? Hajime yawned and then rubbed his eyes. He looked adorable, so handsome. Tooru wanted to kiss him. To tell him he loved him and kissed him. Maybe not in that order. The best thing was he only had to wait a few months… 

“Iwaizumiiiii!”

“Wow man you look like shit.”

“Fuck you.”

Hajime’s rough voice put butterflies in Tooru’s stomach and made more blood run to his face. He was a bit nervous; it was the first time he was seeing Hajime after they talked about their feelings.

“H-hey, Iwa-chan!”

Hajime had his eyes closed but he opened them as soon as he heard Tooru’s voice, and a soft smile made its way into his lips.

“Morning Tooru, did you sleep well?” Tooru blushed to the tip of his ears.

“No!” Makki yelled. “I forbid you both to flirt during this video call!”

“We’re not flirting!” Tooru screamed, defensively.

“It was a normal question!” Hajime’s exclamation was cut off by a yawn and Tooru’s heart missed a beat.

_Lovely, lovely, lovely, lovely_

Tooru asked himself for a brief moment if he’d have to tell all those thoughts to Paula. He called her the day after his talk with Blanco and she had given him an appointment for that day at eleven. He didn’t know to what extent it had been a good idea to have a video call with Hajime -and Makki and Mattsun- before going to see her but well, he didn’t have a choice.

“Oi, Earth to Oikawa! You there?” Tooru blinked a couple times.

“Oh, yeah, sorry.”

“We were saying that we’re gonna give him the present already. We can’t be late to the restaurant.”

“Sure Makki, I’ve got a… doctor appointment soon so it’s perfect.”

“Doctor appointment?” Hajime frowned. _Shit_.

“Ehm, yes. It’s an annual revision, nothing to worry.” Tooru lied. Hajime nodded, relaxing.

“You sure?” Mattsun asked, with a worried tone. Tooru flashed them his best fake grin.

“Wow, you’re all so worried about your former captain. I knew you cared about me.” Tooru winked.

“In your dreams.” Makki snorted, grabbing the envelope wrapped with a bow and handing it to his boyfriend.

“ _Finally_.” Mattsun smiled widely and began pulling from the knot.

“Wait!” Everyone looked at Hajime, who looked back at them with an alarmed face. “We haven’t sung happy birthday yet!”

“You’re right!” Tooru gasped, and Makki took the present from the hands of a whining Mattsun. “How is the person who has slept the least, the most awake right now?!” Hajime laughed and Tooru felt the already familiar pinch on his chest.

“At the count on three. One, two-”

“Wait!” Mattsun interrupted. “Can I ask for something?”

“Of course, it’s your birthday.”

“I want you to sing it in different languages. You know, Makki Japanese, Iwaizumi English and Oikawa Spanish.”

Mattsun grinned at them. Hajime chuckled and Tooru muttered it was gonna sound awful but they all agreed and Makki began the countdown again. A mix of _que los cumplas feliz,_ happy birthday and _otanjoubi omedetou_ filled their rooms. It was Makki who raised his voice first until the three of them ended up screaming, trying to be the one who muffled the other’s voices. When they finished, they heard a loud thump coming from Hajime’s room. He jumped on his seat, surprised, before yelling _sorry_ and looked back at the screen.

“Well, I just woke up Susan.”

The group burst out laughing so hard that Mattsun had to wipe away some tears from his eyes. Makki grabbed his face and turned it to press a light kiss on his lips, startling Mattsun and making him flush.

“Happy birthday, my love.”

Tooru and Hajime whistled, obviously making fun of his friends, but also quickly glancing at each other. Makki stuck his tongue out at them while Mattsun opened the envelope, taking out a folded sheet. He unfolded it under the grins of his friends and it took a moment for his brain to process what he was reading. When it did, he launched himself at Makki, peppering his face with smooches. Hajime chuckled and Tooru made a gesture like he was puking.

“Thank you.” Kiss. “Thank you.” Kiss. “Thank you!” Kiss.

“Issei, we’re being watched!” Makki giggled.

“I don’t care.”

“We do!” Tooru yelled, an amused smile on his lips.

“Okay, okay…” Mattsun sat up and cleared his throat, pretending to be serious for a moment. “Thank you so much gentlemen for this ticket to Taylor Swift’s concert. Especially you, Iwaizumi-san, god bless you for showing me her music.”

“My pleasure.” Hajime chuckled.

Mattsun looked at the paper and kissed it, which provoked more laughs from his friends. While he was busy staring at the paper, he remained unaware of the smug smile the other three were directing at him.

“Guys, I think he hadn’t noticed yet.” Makki broke the silence.

“Well, who can blame him. It’s a big surprise. He’s shocked.” Mattsun cocked an eyebrow.

“What are you talking about?”

“Have you read the ticket or you’re just staring at her face?” Mattsun frowned and looked down again. It took him just a couple seconds to figure it out.

“WAIT. It says LA!”

“Surprise!” Makki yelled.

“I-I don’t understand.” Mattsun’s gaze traveled from his boyfriend to his two friends on his laptop. Hajime was smiling and covering his eyes with his hands.

“Oh my god, Mattsun.”

“The four of us are going to one of the concerts in LA! _And_ we’re staying a week at Iwa-chan’s!” Tooru pouted. “We haven’t been together in over a year! We deserve this!” Mattsun’s eyes filled with happy tears.

“But this cost a fortune… and the plane tickets?! How-!

“You should thank Oikawa. He’s the one who paid for most of it.” Tooru blushed lightly, and Hajime smiled brightly at him.

“I-It’s nothing. I had some money saved from that sponsorship with the whole team -the trainers, remember? - and since Hajime and Makki are students…” Tooru shrugged.

“Well, thank you. It’s a great gift.” Mattsun looked fondly at the screen. “I miss you guys.”

“No.” Hajime pointed a finger at them. “No sentimentality, it’s too early for that.”

“Not here, it’s already ten fifteen _at night_.” Makki grinned and Mattsun rolled his eyes next to him.

“Ten fifteen?!” Tooru shouted. “Fuck, I gotta go.”

“What time do you have the appointment?”

“Eleven o’clock. But it’s on the other side of San Juan. I have to catch two buses.”

“Then keep going, we’ll text later!” Makki sentenced. Tooru waved at the screen.

“Bye guys, have fun!” Then, he bit his bottom lip and stared at Hajime, who had his chin resting on his palm and looked at him with a tender smile. “Bye, Hajime…”

  
Tooru still heard Makki yelling _no flirting!_ as he left the call.

* * *

Luckily, he managed to catch the two buses without having to wait too much between them, and now he stood in front of the building where Paula had the clinic, five minutes before his appointment time.

_You can do it. It’s just talking, you love talking. Come on Tooru._

Tooru took a deep breath and rang the bell. A buzz told him it was open and he pushed the door. He went up the stairs to the second floor and rang the bell again. He had to wait a couple seconds before hearing some steps approaching and the door opened. A middle-aged woman with a bright smile appeared in front of him.

“¡Hola! You must be Toru, right?”

“Yes. Good morning, Paula?” The woman nodded and stepped aside to let him in. Tooru immediately felt his heart speed up its beating.

“Give me five minutes to finish with the other patient.” _Patient_. Just like him. He was a patient. The nerves he had managed to calm on his way there were rearing their heads again. He gulped, feeling his mouth dry.

“Sure.”

“Sit down, make yourself comfortable.” Paula pointed inside the room before disappearing through another door.

Tooru took a deep breath and walked to the black couch.

_Relax, relax, relax. She seems nice._

The waiting room was pretty austere, Tooru thought. White walls, big window, not much furniture: the couch where he was sitting, two armchairs and a table in the middle with some health magazines. Tooru took one and began reading, trying to stop his mind from wandering to the possible questions she was gonna ask him.

A few minutes later, the door opened and Tooru’s body tensed. He heard a man and Paula saying goodbye so Tooru closed the magazine and left it on the table at the same time the door was shut. He looked up and saw Paula turning around to face him with a smile.

“Toru please, come in now.” She motioned him inside the room like she had done before and closed the door behind them. “Sorry to keep you waiting.”

“It’s okay, I arrived earlier.”

Tooru briefly scanned the room and sat on one of the chairs opposites of the wooden desk. That room looked more homely -wooden desk, wooden chairs, wooden library…- and Tooru was sure she had done it on purpose, because he felt somehow relaxing in his seat. Paula sat in front of him, behind the table and took out a folder with his name on it.

“So, Toru Oikawa, setter for the Club Atlético.” Tooru looked surprised.

“Yes, how do you know?” Paula laughed softly.

“It’s not a common name here, Toru, and you mentioned José in our call. He has talked about you.” She shrugged. “I simply connected the dots.”

“Oh,” he felt stupid. “What did he say?” She raised an eyebrow.

“I’m afraid I can’t share that information with you.” Tooru blushed lightly.

“Sorry, you’re right.”

“Don’t worry about it.” She chuckled. Her laugh was perky, sweet; it helped Tooru calm a bit down. “But we’re not here to talk about your coach. How are you?”

The million-dollar question. His hands clenched into fists unconsciously. Every website Tooru had visited had taught him that’d be the first question asked, so he had prepared his answer.

“I’m fine. Just a bit nervous.”

“You told me on the phone this is your first time going to the psychologist.”

“Yep.” Paula flashed him a bright smile.

“That’s a big step, asking for help, it’s never easy. Thanks for trusting in me. You should be proud of yourself.”

“T-Thanks.” Tooru stuttered. Anyone could sense the tension on his shoulders and the fakeness in his crooked smile.

“Toru.” Paula spoke with a slightly harsher tone causing Tooru to jump on his seat, showing even more his nerves. She grinned. “I’m not gonna bite you.” The corners of her mouth relaxed, turning the grin into a gentle inviting smile.

“Sorry, it’s just…” He took a deep breath. “I lied earlier, I’m _extremely_ nervous.”

“It’s okay, happens to the best of us. Is it the uncertainty? Do you like to be in control?” She grabbed a pen and began writing down.

“Uhm, not really?” She glanced up.

“You’re not sure?”

“It’s just something I hadn’t thought about. But I think it’s not that.”

Paula nodded and kept writing, making Tooru wonder if there was something he had said that may already be _that_ interesting to her. He forced his brain to relax. _Don’t overthink._

“So, if it’s not the loss of the position of power, what scares you about talking to me?” _That you read me like an open book, that I have to talk about things that still hurts me._

“I-I don’t know.” She stopped writing to look at Tooru.

“I don’t believe you.” Tooru gulped and forced himself to keep his eyes up and stare at her. Paula wasn’t smiling, but she wasn’t frowning either. She simply stared back at him, expectant.

“I don’t like feeling vulnerable.” He muttered with a small mouth. Paula hummed and broke the eye contact to write his reply down.

“Thank you for your honesty.” She smiled, and Tooru shrugged, not knowing what he was supposed to say next. “In that we’re alike. Are you the oldest sibling?”

“Uh, no. The youngest.” Paula widened her eyes.

“That’s surprising. Why don’t you tell me more about your family?”

The stiffness of his body abandoned him and the corners of his lips curled up when his mind was filled with happy memories. Tooru told her everything, not thinking about the relevance or importance of the information. He liked talking about his family, and he made Paula laugh several times.

He told her that he lived with his mother, older sister and nephew before moving to San Juan when he had just turned eighteen - _that’s quite impressive, Toru. You’re really brave._ -, in a big house in a residential neighborhood on the outskirts of Sendai. He talked about teaching Takeru everything volleyball related, voice filled with pride, as always, talking about him. Paula wrote down everything that came out of his mouth.

“What about your father?” Tooru’s smile faltered.

“He’s not in the picture.” At that, Paula looked up from her notes and noticed the little frown on his forehead and the way his mouth had become a thin line.

“Would you mind telling me why?”

“My mum kicked him out when I was eight years old. He always came back home drunk and spent our money gambling.” Tooru shrugged. “I don’t know what else to tell you.”

“Do you think his absence has affected you?”

“Nah, I don’t think about him.” Paula nodded and kept writing. Tooru frowned. “Could that really have affected me?”

“If you say it didn’t, it’s because it didn’t. If in future conversations we discover there’s something dormant there, we’ll treat it. But for now, I don’t think it’s important.” Tooru relaxed on his seat. “Back to your family, from what you’ve told me, I assume you keep in contact with them.”

“Yep, we text regularly, and we video call whenever we can, mostly on weekends due to the time difference.”

“Wonderful.” Paula looked up and smiled. “I envy your healthy relationship.” They both chuckled. “Anyone else in Japan you keep in touch with?”

Tooru gulped. She had said _in Japan_. So not mentioning Hajime wasn’t technically a lie.

“Yes, my old team at Seijoh. We have a group chat and we’re constantly updating the others with what goes on in our lives. And I have a group apart with the third years.” _Don’t blush! Don’t think about Hajime! Think about Mattsun’s eyebrows!_ “They’re my best friends. We also try to video call whenever we can.”

“I’m really happy to hear that. When I moved here from Rosario, I lost quite a few friends. But we didn’t have all these new technologies, it was twenty years ago.” Paula laughed. “My goodness I didn’t realize it had been that long. I feel really old now.” Tooru burst out laughing and immediately stilled.

“I’m sorry, that’s been rude.”

“Don’t worry.” Paula looked at him with an amused look. “What about your contacts in Argentina? Who do you spend your time with?”

Tooru began rambling about his days in San Juan, which were a bit different one from the other. The only thing that remained the same was the training schedule and his morning jogs; the rest of his time, it was always a surprise. Sometimes, he went to Lucia’s, cooked with her and then watched a _telenovela_. Occasionally, his neighbors asked him to babysit their kids if he was free, although that was pretty recent, since they had seen him with Pedro’s kids in the market precisely. Other times, he preferred to be alone so he’d walk to his favorite cafeteria or Parque de Mayo to read.

“I’m finishing _La ciudad de las bestias_.”

“Oh, I _love_ Isabel Allende. Do you have the other books in the trilogy?”

“Yeah, bought them after reading the first hundred pages.” They both laughed. The atmosphere was relaxed and Tooru had almost forgotten where he was and why.

“You’re very sociable from what I can see.”

“Never had a problem with that.” Tooru shrugged, smiling.

“I’m really happy to see the social circle you have, the people you can lean on. That’s really good.” Paula put the pen down and leaned back in her chair. “Now that we know each other better, are you more relaxed?”

“Yes, absolutely. Thanks.” His smile grew bigger, and Paula raised an eyebrow, grinning.

“Ready to talk about _why_ you’re here?”

Tooru’s mouth hung open. His brain worked at full speed trying to find an excuse or something but it was impossible; he had fallen right in her trap. He had been extremely nervous and tense, so she for sure had understood that unless he relaxed, she wasn’t gonna get any good answers from him. So, she tricked him, finding a comfortable topic and squeezing it out until he calmed.

Tooru sighed. There was no escape. He looked at her and found out that Paula’s smile had turned from amused to reassuring. Tooru knew she wasn’t gonna say anything until he spoke, and for a brief moment, he weighed the idea of not talking, but he knew it was the wrong thing to do. He had gone there because he wanted to understand all his overwhelming feelings, but he had called her _before_ his video call with Hajime. Now everything was fine. Maybe he could escape after all.

“Oh well, actually, it’s already solved. It was just a stupidity but, ehm,” He scratched the back of his neck “I talked to…” Suddenly, a fear he hadn’t thought of crept into his mind, but he rejected it immediately. There was no way Blanco had recommended her knowing she was a homophobe, but maybe he didn’t know… Tooru felt safer without using specific pronouns. “...the other person involved. It’s fine. This person explained everything to me.”

“I’m glad to hear that, but either way, please, could you tell me what happened?”

Tooru took a deep breath. What happened. That was a good question. What happened is that when he was almost nineteen, an asshole took his self-esteem and tore it apart with just a few words. What happened is that a year later, when he had been finally able to flirt with someone again, he had turned out to be another asshole worse than the first. What happened is that he had finally realized he loved Hajime -who knows since when- and he had broken his heart.

But he wasn’t ready to talk about all that. And besides, Hajime had confessed a couple days earlier. It was all solved! He had been sleeping properly and his mood swings were gone! One look at the woman in front of him was enough for Tooru to realize that it didn’t matter how hard he’d try to convince her; she would still want to hear it. So, he sighed, and decided to give as little information as possible to keep all those scars hidden.

“I was a bit overwhelmed because I fell in love with my best friend.” Tooru mentally high-fived himself. Simple. Concise. Not completely the truth but it wasn’t a lie either. Paula nodded and wrote it down.

“Does he know it?”

“Well, not exactly, but- Wait.” Tooru blushed and his heart beat faster. “ _He?_ ”

“It’s not a he?” She looked up with one eyebrow arched.

“No, yes.” Tooru blinked a couple times. “Sorry but how did you know it?”

“You stopped talking earlier and then referred to him as _person_. Twice. I just connected the dots.”

“You’re really good at that, huh?” She laughed and Tooru smiled, still a bit tense. He gulped. “So, it’s that a problem?”

“What?”

“Me, being in love with another man…” Paula shrugged.

“Not for me. Is it for you?” She narrowed her eyes, in that inquisitive way that Tooru was becoming familiar with.

“Oh, no! No, it’s not that. Maybe when I was younger, but not anymore.” Paula kept writing everything he said and Tooru was surprised to find that his head had stopped trying to figure out what was in those papers.

“Is it unrequited, then?” Was it? Hajime had only told him he liked him, but Tooru’s intuition was great and it was screaming at him that it was _love_.

“No.” Paula looked at him with confusion written in her eyes and Tooru flashed him a small smile. “It’s a long story.”

“We have time.” Her mouth turned into her reassuring smile. “What’s his name?”

“Hajime.” Tooru couldn’t help the way his lips instantly curled up as the name left them. “Although I also call him Iwa-chan, it’s a nickname I gave him when we were kids.” His eyes shone with an amused spark.

“Since when do you know him?” His smile grew bigger and brighter.

“My whole life, literally. Minus two hours.”

He let out a soft laugh and began talking, and then he couldn’t stop. He told Paula everything about their shared childhood and teens years, about their passion for volleyball, about how they always leaned on each other, about their coming out, and about Hajime’s life in Irvine, his friends, their video calls… 

“This year he had started his internship with the Irvine Polar Bears, which it’s what he has always wanted! I’m so proud of him.” Paula glanced up and saw Tooru staring out of the window with a soft smile and eyes full of fondness.

“That’s quite a ride together.” Tooru chuckled.

“It is.”

“You didn’t mention him earlier.” He blushed.

“Yeah, it was my lame attempt at not talking about this.” Paula grinned.

“You can’t trick me; you better learn that quickly.”

“Got it.” Tooru crossed his legs.

“So many years together… When did your feelings change?”

“Technically, when he came with me to a wedding, but it could’ve been before that.” Paula nodded, encouraging to keep talking.

Tooru took a deep breath. That was it. He had to explain everything that happened with Hajime but without hinting at asshole number two, and it was hard since the first time they had made out it was because Tooru needed to forget. But luckily for him he had prepared the speech at home - _yay, thanks websites!_ \- and he was sure that even if Paula seemed to read him like an open book, she wouldn’t perceive the half lies.

“Back in my first year in San Juan, Hajime came to visit me and he met the team and he got along really well with Hugo, one of the grooms, who invited him to the wedding. At the reception, we danced together, really close,” Tooru’s cheeks covered in light pink “and we got pretty drunk. Well, _I_ got pretty drunk, he was mostly tipsy.” He giggled. “Diego took us back to my place and we sat on the couch.” _I’m not an asshole_. His heart beat faster with the memory. “I-I kissed him first, and he kissed me back…” He could feel his cheeks burning and he was only talking about their kisses. Paula was looking at him with an amused smile.

“Yeah, that’s how it usually goes when you make out with someone.” He blushed to the tips of his ears and ignored her.

“Well, we made out until things got heated and he stopped us.” He shut up, lost in the memory of that first time he had touched Hajime’s skin.

“What happened after?” Her voice took him out of the reverie.

“We fell asleep together on the couch, and he left the next day.”

“And how did you feel?”

“Hangover.” Paula burst out laughing and Tooru followed her. “That was all I could feel, my head about to explode!”

“Funny, but that’s not what I meant and you know it.”

“Sorry, sorry.” He swallowed loudly. “I felt the same, I didn’t notice any change in our relationship until my friends pointed it out. And it was so obvious when they did, ugh… I felt stupid.” Tooru sighed exasperatedly and covered his face with his hands.

“Don’t be too hard with yourself, it’s normal. You’ve grown up with him, you’ve loved him all your life, even if at first it was only friendship, it was still love. It makes sense that you two didn’t notice but the people around you did.” Tooru hummed, thinking about what Paula had just told him. “But I still don’t see a big problem here, Toru. What did overwhelm you?”

“Well, there’s more…” She directed him an apologetic gaze.

“Oh, sorry! I went ahead, please continue.”

“Don’t mind. When I realized what I felt, I invited him here for Christmas. We spent two weeks here together and it was so fucking perfect, Paula. Each day we did something different -or tried to- and each day I realized more and more that I loved him.” His lips formed a tender smile and the blood returned to his face.

“Did you talk about what had happened?”

“We discussed it through texts when he landed in Irvine. We agreed it had been the alcohol influence.” Paula raised an eyebrow and Tooru rolled his eyes. “I know, I know, it wasn’t the best decision. But I didn’t understand my feelings back then!” He whined. Paula chuckled.

“Okay, I’m gonna let you pass that one. Keep talking.” She grabbed another paper. Tooru felt pretty good, he was nailing that therapy thing.

“So, as I was saying, I fell for him more and we were being more physical, you know? Like, sitting real close on the couch, or putting his legs over my lap watching a movie, and holding hands walking to the market.” He sighed. “I thought he loved me too, or at least felt some attraction. So, his last Friday here, I decided to make a move.” She looked at him grinning and Tooru blushed. “Yes, it’s what you’re thinking. We… We slept together.”

“Good.”

“Y-Yes, it was good.”

“And did you talk about it after? You couldn’t blame that on the alcohol.” Her grin softened.

“We talked about it. And then we repeated.” His face was burning and his mind couldn’t stop thinking about Hajime. “Several times, but we didn’t talk about those. So, when he left again, everything remained the same.” The phone sex hadn’t changed anything after all; Tooru thought it wasn’t worth mentioning.

He quietened and Paula examined him after writing down _communication problems_. His posture was relaxed, but his arms were crossed on his chest, an attempt at protection. He had a small frown on his forehead and his mouth was a thin line. Tooru had called her claiming to be overwhelmed and not knowing how he felt, but from what he had told her, it looked to her that he knew it perfectly, so Paula was sure there was something else. Tooru was opening to her, trusting her, but if she pushed too much it may be counterproductive. She’d have to ask the right questions, good thing she had years of experience treating people that thought they could outsmart her.

“I’m super intrigued.” Tooru smirked at her. “Seriously, It’s like a soap opera but gayer!”

“Wait till you hear the rest.”

“Oh.” She grinned and leaned forward. “Please, tell me everything.” Tooru gulped.

“Well, a couple weeks later we had a video call, and he told me he went out with a girl. A date, he called it a date.” He was surprised at the absence of pressure in his chest as he said those words. But Hajime had explained everything, and Tooru found out that it wasn’t hard to think about his date with Tessa anymore. If only, he pitied her; Hajime had been a jerk.

“You’re kidding.”

“Nope.” He shrugged.

“What an asshole.” Tooru burst with laughter. If Paula knew…

“Indeed.” He coughed a couple times so he could keep talking. “I cried for two weeks after that, until the package arrived.” She kept writing his words down but shook her head to let him know he could continue. “I had been ignoring his texts and calls, so he sent me a letter, where he explained everything. That was when the overwhelming began.”

“Because the explanation was shitty?” She arched an eyebrow.

“Pretty much, yeah. He told me that she meant nothing, that he needed me but if that’s true, _why_ do you go on a date with her?! I was so pissed Paula, _so_ pissed. And I didn’t want to forgive him-”

“Not the healthiest approach.”

“-But I did! I said to myself _look, forget that date ever happened, be a bit colder towards him and that’s all_. But he didn’t let me! He kept texting me, wishing me a good day and night, calling me _my Tooru_ , sending cute selfies! He _learnt_ to take cute selfies! How am I supposed to stay mildly angry at him like that!” Paula tried to say something but Tooru cut her off. “And then he called me! Out of the blue! He had the nerve to call me only to tell me he wanted to hear my voice!”

“It doesn’t sound too bad, does it?”

“Well, no, but it broke me!” Just like his voice had done as he said those words. “I had a bit of a breakdown and then Blanco gave me your number.” Everything went silent, and Tooru realized he had been practically screaming. He looked at Paula who was staring at the papers before her. He cleared his throat. “Sorry, I-”

“Don’t ever be sorry for expressing your emotions. I was just thinking.” She leaned back on her chair. “One would think that you’d have better communication with someone you’ve known your whole life” He was about to retort until he realized she was right. Lately, he and Hajime weren’t acing that issue. “But you said it was all solved?”

“Yes.” Tooru smiled softly. “We video call a few days ago -right after I called you actually- and this time he explained himself properly.”

“What did he tell you?”

“He confessed he liked me, that he had felt like that for a while but he panicked and tried to suppress everything going out with someone else.” He blushed lightly. “He said he talked about me the whole time.”

“And what now? Are you together?”

“Oh, no. No. I told him I just wanted my best friend back, and he understood. I guess we’ll wait until seeing each other in person this August.”

“Well thought. How did you feel when he finally said he liked you? Must have been nice to have your feelings reciprocated.” Tooru smiled and snorted.

“God, I felt _so_ relieved. Like this huge weight had just been lifted from me. I was so scared to think that he had used me, that he only wanted my body, I-” Paula narrowed her eyes and raised her hand to signal him to stop talking.

“Why _use_?”

“What?”

“That verb.” She frowned and looked up at him. “You just said you were scared he had _used_ you.” Tooru gulped. “You could’ve said you were afraid Hajime had lied to you, or that he didn’t feel anything, that it didn’t mean anything to him… But no, you said you were scared he had _used_ you.” Her gaze softened. “Have you felt _used_ before, Toru?”

_Busted_. Tooru widened his eyes and went speechless. Paula flashed him that reassuring smile again.

“The words we use are important.”

“I see…” Tooru felt a lump in his throat. “I-I don’t really wanna talk about it.”

“Sadly for you, I want to.”

“I-It’s nothing.” He let out a dry laugh. “I don’t know why I’ve said that.”

A part of his brain was nagging him - _shit Tooru, you were doing it so well_ \- and the other was begging him to come clean with Paula - _she’s a psychologist, she’s here to help you_. His breathing began to become heavier and heavier. _Have you felt used before, Toru?_

_Come on Toru, I’ll make you see the stars_

_Can’t you feel me? What are you gonna do about it, pretty boy?_

_Stop putting up a fight, you’re gonna love it!_

“It was nothing…”

His voice came out muffled, barely audible. His heart was beating at a thousand per hour and he felt it in his ears. His hands clenched into fists on his knees. The panic in his eyes was more than evident. Paula didn’t know what flashbacks were going through his mind, but thirty years of experience gave her some advantage.

“It wasn’t your fault.” Tooru’s eyes traveled from the black spot on the table’s corner they had been focused on and landed on Paula’s face. “What you’re remembering. It wasn’t your fault.”

He felt his eyes filled with tears and fought with all his strength to control them. He didn’t want to cry; he was over it! He thought bitterly what a lie that was. They’ve been talking for a little more than thirty minutes and she already knew. Despite all his biggest efforts, she knew.

“I-I know…” It came out much more broken than he intended. A single tear stained his cheeks and he wiped it away as quickly as he could. Paula took out a pack of tissues from a drawer and put it on the table, right in front of Tooru.

“Crying is healthy.”

And just like that, Tooru broke down. All the feelings that he had managed to keep at bay overflowed; all the pain and suffering he had denied came like an avalanche and swept everything in its path. He didn’t try to control them that time, he simply grabbed a tissue and allowed himself to cry.

Tears were staining his cheeks and his nose was running. Her words echoed in his head. It wasn’t his fault. Tooru knew. It was one of the first things his brain has started repeating over and over every time he looked at himself in the mirror.

_It wasn’t my fault, it wasn’t my fault, it wasn’t my fault…_

He had psyched up about it pretty quickly and yet, during his worst days, his loneliest nights, the helplessness -powerless- he had felt laying in that disgusting bed had returned. He should’ve known, he should’ve done something. Everybody had noticed it except from him.

He didn’t know how long he stayed like that; jaw clenched, head down to not face Paula’s worried expression, sobbing his heart out, spending tissue after tissue until the pack was empty and silently Paula handed him another.

When he finally ran out of tears to cry, he looked up and mentally thanked her for not staring at him with pity but with sympathy and support. He slightly nodded to let her know he was fine and she grabbed her pen again. Her voice was soft and filled with fondness when she spoke.

“Toru, I know it must be hard, but we need to talk about what happened.” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“H-His name was Matt.” He gulped. “He was… I-I met him on a trip… He seemed nice. I thought…”

“Take your time.”

Tooru blurted it all out, and was proud to be able to tell her with excruciating detail and without many pauses to cry. He stammered, stuttered, and had to take many long breaths to calm his heart a bit, but he succeeded.

Once he finished with Matt, he confessed to Paula all the lies in Hajime's story. And then he went back further, to that backyard garden where he had only wanted to explore his sexuality a bit. Gone were his attempts to hide things. He wanted her to know everything.

When he let all out, he was left panting, hands gripping the edges of his seat and eyes locked on her, who was giving him that reassuring look and smile.

“Thank you so much for trusting me, Toru. I can’t even begin to imagine how hard must have been for you to relive that. I told you earlier, but you’re really brave.”

“T-thanks.” He blew his nose with a new tissue.

Paula glanced at the watch on her wrist and cursed how little time they had left. As Tooru calmed down again, she skimmed over the notes. Too many things to talk about. The worst scolding of his life awaited José when he set foot in her office again. He knew from the beginning and he _just_ gave him her number? She was pissed.

“I’m scared.” Tooru whispered and Paula looked up at him. His gaze was lost in some spot on the floor. “I don’t wanna hurt Hajime.” She blinked a couple times, confused.

“Why do you say that?”

“What if it’s the trauma?” He stared at her. “What I feel. What if it isn’t love? What if I simply grabbed the first safe person I had at hand and in a couple months I discover that I don’t love him and then I break his heart and I lose him and-”

“Toru, breathe.” He hadn’t realized how his breathing was faltering again. Following Paula’s commands, he inhaled, exhaled, slowly, over and over, until he was calmed and his heart beat at a normal speed.

“Sorry…”

“What did I tell you earlier?” She raised his eyebrow, and Tooru chuckled softly. “Don’t worry, we’ll work on it.”

The doorbell rang. Tooru jumped on his seat, a bit surprised. Had an hour passed already? Paula excused herself and stood up to greet the next patient. Tooru found himself thinking that in the end it hadn’t been that difficult. He felt a lot lighter once he had told her everything. He heard some voices muffled through the walls and then Paula came back and sat in front of him.

“Okay, before I set you free,” Tooru straightened his back on the chair and Paula looked at him softly “do you want to keep coming? Therapy can’t be forced; you can’t get better if you don’t want to.”

“Yes! I’ve liked it. It’s not that bad, people make it seem worse than it is.” She laughed.

“The stigma is still heavy, yeah.” Paula opened her schedule notebook. “What’s your availability?”

“Afternoons and the whole Tuesday.”

“Good. So, you can come next week at the same hour?”

“Yes, no problem.” She wrote it down and Tooru stood up, ready to pay and leave. She glanced at him and grinned.

“Where do you think you’re going? I haven’t told you your homework yet.”

“Homework?” Tooru frowned and sat down again.

“Of course, how else do you want to get better? First, I want you to make a list of everything you love about Hajime. Even the stupidest thing, you write it down.” He felt his cheeks heating up as his brain immediately began composing that list and Paula laughed. “Great, I see you're already on it.” She cleared her throat and her face got more serious. “The other thing is a little harder but more beneficial for you.” Tooru arched an eyebrow. “You need to tell your family about Matt.”

“No.” Paula hadn’t even finished the sentence when Tooru answered, shaking his head.

“I know it’s hard, but you need their support.”

“I already have my friends.”

“It’s not the same.” She sighed. “It’s not an order Toru, just a suggestion. And it can be only your sister. But I think you need to tell her. It’s not healthy to keep that kind of thing hidden, it ends up rotting us inside.” Tooru looked at her, fear and doubt dancing behind his eyes. “Just think about it, okay?”

He nodded and took out his wallet to pay but Paula stopped him, saying that the first session was free. She accompanied him to the door and they hugged goodbye.

As soon as he stepped on the street, he grabbed his earphones and pressed play. A big smile appeared on his face when the first notes of _Wonderland_ filled his ears. He couldn’t stop relating the three new songs on 1989 to Hajime. Truth be told he was always gonna think about Hajime when listening to Taylor; it was his fault he was as obsessed as Mattsun.

For four minutes he allowed himself not to think about the last thing Paula had told him, but when the song ended and a Juanes one began, his mind started weighing it. It wouldn’t hurt, would it? And Kazue had met a few assholes herself. Tooru felt his blood boiling just thinking about Takeru’s dad.

The bus arrived and Tooru got in after helping an old man with a cane to step on it. He walked to the last row and plunked down in an empty seat. He pulled out his phone and opened the chat app.

**To: The Devil**

can we talk tonight?

my tonight

don’t tell mum

* * *

Tooru checked his phone; Kazue had texted him she was already on Skype. He finished scrubbing the pan and walked to his bedroom, sat on his desk and opened the laptop. When her face appeared on the screen, Tooru’s heart filled with longing. He missed her.

“Hey! There’s my ugly little brother!” Scratch that. He didn’t miss Kazue, _at all_.

“We literally have the same face.”

“But my eye color is prettier. Yours look like dog shit.”

“Are you done bullying me?” Tooru rolled his eyes.

“Okay, okay.” She chuckled. “Why did you want to talk to me?”

Tooru gulped. Suddenly, the high he had felt after leaving Paula was gone and he was beginning to regret his actions. Unluckily for him, Kazue read him like an open book. She could tell there was something bothering him and knew how to make him talk.

“You know, I can leave the cafeteria for a certain number of hours -perks of being the owner- but I don’t have all day.” Her words might seem harsh but her tone was sweet. “Come on To-chan, you know you can trust me.”

It was the damn nickname; the one she had used all his childhood. It made Tooru feel safe and protected. He took a deep breath and got ready to fall through the rabbit hole.

“I went to a psychologist this morning.” Kazue blinked a couple times, surprised.

“Oh, that’s… good.” Tooru knew she was wondering _why_ he had gone to Paula, so he answered before she had the chance to ask.

“Because I had a shitty boyfriend last summer.”

Tooru knew his sister wasn’t stupid, he knew with those two sentences she had already made a mental picture of the situation. Her eyes widened. Before she could say something, he began talking, taking advantage of the momentary braveness that had invaded him.

And he told her everything. He was pleasantly surprised that he didn’t burst into tears that time, he didn’t want Kazue to worry too much. Although when he talked about the tensest situations, his voice failed him a bit. At the mention of the hotel, he heard a sob coming from the computer. Kazue had her mouth covered with a hand, trying to muffle her cries. Tooru gave her a sad smile.

“It’s not what you’re thinking. He didn’t…” He gulped, and with a lower voice, continued. “He just tried.”

“Tooru, I’m gonna kill him.” She hiccupped. “I’m gonna rent a fucking private plane and kill him. And then drop his body in the middle of the Pacific. He’s gonna become shark food!” She slammed her fist on the table.

Tooru couldn’t help it. He threw his head back and laughed. For all the tears shed, for all the times scared of closing his eyes, for all the nights spent awake. He looked at Kazue and kept laughing, and then she wiped away her tears and laughed with him.

“Poor sharks nee-chan, they don’t deserve that!”

“You’re right, guess I’ll drop him in an active volcano.”

Tooru chuckled and Kazue grabbed a tissue and blew her nose. He knew that despite the jokes and the laughter, she was still worried about him, trying to understand what he had just told her. Tooru smiled fondly at her, resting his chin on his hands.

“I’m fine Kazue, I promise. Sorry for not telling you, though.”

“It’s okay, I understand. You weren’t ready.” She took a deep breath; she didn’t want to cry again.

“But I am now!” Tooru smiled bigger, trying to reassure her. “Isn’t that great?” Kazue looked at him with watery eyes.

“Yes, it is.” Her voice broke.

“Please, don’t cry. I swear I’m fine.”

“If you don’t want me to cry, change the topic! I don’t know, tell me something about this psychologist.”

“Well, her name’s Paula…”

Tooru proceeded to detail his thoughts on the session, not the topics they had discussed, but he talked about how comfortable he had felt, how Paula had read him like an open book, how she had nagged him when she had to - _She nagged you? I love her already_ \- and how light he had felt after leaving.

“I’m gonna see her again next week. I really like her, I’m glad Blanco recommended her.”

“Blanco? José!?” Kazue opened her eyes wide.

“Yes, he knew all about it and-”

“He _knew?!_ ”

“ _Yes_. Not all the details but he visited me the day after, he saw the slap mark on my face.” Kazue blinked a couple times, her mouth opened in shock.

Tooru frowned, narrowing his eyes. There was something she wasn’t telling him. It was obvious because of her words and behavior, but even if she was perfectly composed, she couldn’t trick him. He knew perfectly that when she got a tick in the right corner of her top lip, she was hiding something.

“What is it?”

“Nothing, nothing…” Kazue coughed. “Just glad to hear you trust him and that he cares about you.”

“Right…” Tooru raised an eyebrow.

“What? You don’t believe me?” She pouted.

“Not the slightest.”

“Agh.” She rolled her eyes. “Can’t you pretend you do so we can move on?” Tooru sighed.

“Only because it’s been a looong exhausting day.”

“Great.” Kazue grinned.” Then let’s move to a happier topic. How's Hajime-kun? You spent Christmas together and barely sent a picture!” Tooru gulped.

“Well, we were busy.”

“ _Please_ , what a lame excuse! Sure, you were busy _sunbathing_!” She laughed, and Tooru decided to fall completely down the rabbit hole. He grinned.

“Nah, we were busy fucking our brains out.”

Kazue widened her eyes and her mouth hung open. She made him a signal to wait a moment and stood up. She returned after a couple minutes with a bottle of wine and a glass. Tooru burst with laughter.

“It’s ten a.m. over there!”

“Oh, I don’t care!” She poured the wine. “You must tell me _everything_!” Kazue grinned. “Is he good?”

Tooru blushed to the tip of his ears and thought that maybe coming clean had been a bad idea.

* * *

**_May, 2015_ **

Hajime sat on his yoga mat in his living room when his apartment door opened.

“Sorry I’m late! The exam lasted longer than I expected.” Susan locked the door behind her and dropped her backpack on the floor. “I’ll get changed in less than a minute, promise!”

She turned and began walking to her bedroom. When she passed behind Hajime, she realized he hadn’t heard a thing she had just said. He was staring at his phone with a silly smile on his lips. Susan walked closer and looked at the screen over his shoulder. It was a selfie from Tooru; she should’ve known. He was sneaking his tongue out, his trademark V-sign on sight. She didn’t recognize the mountains behind him but she knew the hoodie he was wearing.

“It fits him much better than you.” Hajime was startled and dropped his phone on the mat.

“When did you get here?!”

“Couple minutes ago. But you were too busy drooling over Toru that you didn’t notice.” Hajime blushed.

“I wasn’t drooling…”

“Sure, you weren’t.”

Susan tapped his back laughing and then walked to her bedroom. Hajime looked back at his phone. Who was he trying to fool? He was drooling. But how could he not? Tooru looked _so good_.

Susan returned to the living room and spread her mat next to Hajime’s. She put her bottle of water on the coffee table and began the warm-up exercises. She turned her neck from one side to the other, watching Hajime mimicking her, with that stupid smile still on his face. She tried to ignore it, but when his phone lit up with a new message and that smile grew bigger, she couldn’t help not asking.

“So, remind me, when are you two getting together, exactly?”

“When he visits this summer, I guess…” Susan raised an eyebrow.

“You guess?” Hajime shrugged.

“We haven’t talked about it.”

“Of course.” She muttered to herself. Hajime didn’t make any sign that he heard her.

They stood up completely straight and raised their arms over their heads, contracting their abdomen. They took a deep breath and then bent down to touch the floor with the palms of their hands. They straightened up again and flexed their knees, turning to the right and extended their arms, hands at the height of the shoulders.

“You know, I’ve thought a lot about you two.”

“Why?” Hajime frowned, turning his waist to the left.

“Because I care about you.” Susan exhaled and bent over. “I’m worried.” He chuckled.

“You don’t need to, we’re fine.”

“No, I think you’re not.” Hajime raised an eyebrow.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re in denial, Hajime.”

“Not anymore.”

“Yes anymore.” He stood up and crossed his arms over his chest, ignoring completely their yoga routine.

“What are you talking about?” Susan bit his lip and also relaxed, looking up at him from the floor.

“I’m saying…” She sighed. “I read about this my second year and some symptoms fit, others not so much, and-”

“Susan, just say what you’re thinking.” She sat on their couch and motioned him to do the same.

“You might have psychotic denial.” Hajime opened his eyes wide.

“Psychotic?!”

“ _Might_.” She took a deep breath. “Look, I know it sounds terrible, but it may not be too deep; like, level one out of ten?”

“But what the hell is that?!”

“It’s basically denial but take it to the extreme. In the most serious cases it may be delusional but in the mildest -as yours, I think- it just blinds you; it doesn’t let you see or understand things how they really are.” Hajime nodded as she kept talking, trying to process her words. “And you were _so_ _blind_ , Hajime. Toru kept hinting you he loved you and you couldn’t see it! _And_ you knew _you_ loved him, yet you kept denying it, and denying it, and denying it. Over and over again. _No, this doesn’t mean anything; I kissed him but I don’t like him; I miss him and want to cuddle with him on the couch but it’s nothing!_ ” She mocked him, imitating his voice. Then, she softened her tone. “You had to break his heart and send him straight to an anxiety attack for your brain to finally snap.” She snapped her fingers to add intensity to her point.

Hajime stared at her with his eyebrows furrowed. It made all the sense in the world what she was saying. But he was fine! He had talked to Tooru, they had confessed their feelings -some of them- and Hajime knew perfectly where they were standing. He didn’t understand why Susan was saying all that then.

“You’re right…” Susan rolled her eyes.

“Of course I’m right.”

“But as I told you, I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not.” Her seriousness surprised him. “I’ve seen you after your video calls these months. You’re fine sometimes -like today- but there’s some other times when you just stare at your phone with your eyes wide and your face pale as a ghost…” Hajime blinked.

“Really?”

“ _Yes_. And the fact that you hadn’t noticed is what worries me! What if Toru comes this summer and you kiss and fool around and lift his hopes up and then your brain snaps again?”

“That won’t happen!”

“How can you know that? How can _he_ know that? I’m serious, Hajime. I think your brain interprets loving Toru as a threat.” At Hajime’s horrified face, Susan explained herself. “Not in the sense that your life’s in danger, but in the sense that _oh no he’s gonna hurt me for sure, this can’t happen_. So, your brain blurs the reality, trying to avoid that pain.”

“But… That’s…” Hajime closed his mouth. He let out an exasperated sigh and sank on the couch.

“Think about it.” He turned his head to look at Susan. “You’ve spent five years or more convincing yourself that you don’t love Toru anymore, that you _can’t_. On an almost _daily_ basis. Of course it has affected your head. I’m seriously surprised you guys managed to sleep together but I guess hormones are stronger” He chuckled and Susan smiled softly and took his hand. “I’m worried. Now, everything seems perfect but when you have him in front of you again…” She clicked her tongue.

“I understand.”

Hajime tried not to show it, but he was panicking inside. He had no memory of staring blank at his screen after talking to Tooru. He knew he sometimes felt uneasy, but it was momentary, barely five minutes. Or maybe it was more and he hadn’t realized? He closed his eyes and pinched his nose.

Tooru had told him he liked him. He ended almost all their calls with that statement or a soft _I miss you_. Hajime felt his heart about to explode remembering last night. He was sure of his own feelings and Tooru’s. But maybe he felt like that because it was a good day? What would happen when they see each other again? Would he be able to tell him everything, or would his brain _snap_ as Susan had told him?

He didn’t want to take the risk; he didn’t want to hurt him anymore. He just wanted to finally scream at him that he loved him, that he meant everything to him, and seal it with a kiss that would leave Tooru breathless. He looked at Susan, who was smiling tenderly at him.

“Will you help me?”

“Of course.” She winked and squeezed his hand. “I’ll even make you a roommate discount.”

* * *

**_20th August, 2015_ **

Hajime observed Tooru gesticulating exaggeratedly, chattering non-stop about the soap opera that was playing in the background while he cooked and talked to him. Hajime admired his ability to pay attention to three things at the same time, although he had a joke ready in case he ended up burning the fish on the grill.

Tooru had put his laptop on the counter that joined the kitchen and the living room, so he could see Hajime and his _telenovela_. At that moment, he had his back turned, busy seasoning the emperor steak. His hair had gotten longer and Hajime knew he’d cut it soon, and that he’d receive a picture right outside the barbershop, like two months ago.

_How do I look Iwa-chan?_

_You’re perfect_

They had been texting so he couldn’t _see_ his reaction, but Tooru had taken five minutes to answer with the monkey emoji covering his eyes. For Hajime, it had been enough.

Tooru opened one of his cupboards and put away the salt shaker. He turned the fish over and then lowered the fire intensity. Hajime took advantage of his position to ogle his back and his arms. Tooru was wearing an army green tank top that was driving him crazy. It fitted him perfectly and his mouth was watering. What he’d give for ripping it off him… When Tooru began turning back, Hajime cleared his throat, trying to compose himself.

“What are your plans for your day off? Beside lazing around your apartment, of course.” Tooru opened his mouth and gasped.

“I’m sorry? I’ve spent all morning tidying up!”

“Sure, and I’m Ken Watanabe.” Tooru laughed and leaned on the counter.

“Well, it’s an awful rainy day, so I’m going bowling with the team. What about you? Work?”

“Yep. And Takashi wants me to stop by his office before to talk about my new responsibilities.”

Hajime was a bit nervous about the conversation with his mentor. For the last six months he had been next to him in every training and match of the Polar Bears, drinking all his knowledge, getting ready for his last year at college where he would be officially his intern. All that time, Hajime didn’t have permission to treat any of the players, but he had been able to get to know them and learn their weak spots. Takashi always asked him about his opinion and Hajime always answered with honesty, even if it contradicted him.

But now it’d be Hajime in charge. He’d be the one talking to the players, making their training regimen, deciding how many weeks of rest after a sprained ankle… Takashi would supervise him, of course but still, Hajime felt the weight of his new responsibilities on his shoulders.

“That’s great, Iwa-chan! Are they gonna pay you now?”

“Not yet.” Hajime chuckled. “Not until my graduation next year. That’s when they’ll change my contract and I’ll be an official member of the staff.” Tooru smiled fondly at him.

“I’m so proud of you.”

Tooru looked towards the television at that moment, which Hajime was grateful for, because his cheeks were being covered in red pretty fast and if he had kept holding his gaze, he would’ve turned into a tomato. His heart had increased the speed of its beating, and Hajime took a deep breath to calm it down.

It had been around two months since he began his therapy with Susan, and Hajime felt ecstatic. No more staring blank at a screen, no more doubt, no more denial. He loved him, and he could see all the subtle ways Tooru told him he loved him too. Like that _I’m so proud of you_. Hajime couldn’t wait for next week. Tooru was gonna _love_ the surprise he had planned with Susan.

Tooru’s gasp took him out of his daydream. Hajime could only see the kitchen and Tooru, but he was sure he was staring at his TV. Probably María Consuela had just pushed someone down the stairs or whatever; Hajime didn’t pay him much attention when he rambled about soap operas. But there was a light pink on Tooru’s cheeks, and it intrigued him.

“What’s so interesting?” Hajime grinned.

“Oh.” Tooru blinked and his eyes moved from the television to his laptop. “Mario Cimarro has just removed his shirt.” He returned his gaze to _Pasión de Gavilanes_ , licking his lips. Hajime chuckled.

“You’re drooling.”

“Of course I’m drooling, have you seen him?”

“No, not actually.”

“Here.” Tooru turned around the laptop and Hajime saw his perfectly clean living room. In the TV, a gorgeous specimen of a man, tanned, muscled, curly long hair, was grunting, shirtless, digging a hole on the ground. Tooru turned the laptop again when he decided Hajime had seen enough. “So?”

“Do you want me to grow my hair long?” Tooru’s lips curled up in a smug grin. _Hajime, please, think before opening your mouth_.

“I don’t know Iwa-chan, do you want me to drool over you?” Hajime gulped; he had walked right into it. His eyes glanced down at Tooru’s lips; his soft _soft sweet lips_. He couldn’t wait to taste them again. He was about to retort when the doorbell rang. Tooru laughed and turned off the kitchen. “Saved by the bell, literally.”

Hajime grinned and saw Tooru disappearing from his sight; he knew who had just knocked on his door. He sat in his bed, waiting. Thirty seconds, one minute, one minute ten…

“Hajime Iwaizumi!” Tooru reappeared in the kitchen holding a package and put it next to the laptop. Hajime laughed at his surprised and blushed face; his eyes going from the box to Hajime and back again. “Explain why there’s a package from Irvine on my counter.” His grin grew bigger.

“Happy birthday Shittykawa.”

“It was a month ago!”

“I know!” Hajime chuckled and sighed exasperatedly. “They held it back in customs this whole time, and yesterday I finally got the text saying they would deliver it today.” Tooru narrowed his eyes.

“Is that why Diego gave me a tiny box of _alfajores_ and a poorly written note saying _sorry it’s not milk bread, happy birthday, your Iwa-chan_?”

“Yes!” Tooru burst out laughing and Hajime rested his chin on the palm of his hand, watching him with the biggest smile.

“Oh my god, Héctor hated you so much after that.”

“And with good reason.” Hajime giggled.

Tooru looked at him fondly before turning the laptop a bit so Hajime could see him opening his gift. He took a knife from a drawer and swiftly opened the package. Tooru identified two wrapped items amongst the several birthday cards, took them out and put them on the counter. Then, he proceeded to read out loud the cards, modulating his voice, from a serious tone to a whiny one. Hajime couldn’t stop laughing, and Tooru was having trouble reading some of the funnier ones.

“ _Twenty-one is over halfway to forty, let that just sink in_. Wow Hajime, this is just rude, I didn’t remind you of this on your birthday!” Tooru pouted.

“Move on to the actual gifts dumbass, your food is getting cold!” Hajime wiped away some tears that had spilled due to his laughter.

Tooru giggled and took the smallest one; a tiny box wrapped in red paper that he tore apart in less than ten seconds. He opened it and found a black leather bracelet with a silver plaque. Tooru felt his eyes watering. It had engraved the kanjis from their given names. _Dauntless_ , it read.

“I have the same one.” Tooru looked up and there he was, on the screen of his laptop, ten thousand kilometers away, with his hand on sight and the same beautiful bracelet adorning his wrist, his best friend; the man he loved. “You can wear it everywhere except the shower and training.”

“Thank you.” He muttered, in the softest tone Hajime had ever heard from him.

Tooru took a deep breath and left the box on the counter. He felt Hajime’s eyes on him, his cheeks tainted in red, the beating of his heart ricocheting in his chest. He moved along to the second package, wishing for it not to be what would send him over the cliff and make him cry. When he ripped the paper, he let out a loud chuckle.

“Where did you find this?!” Hajime laughed while Tooru took out the blue shirt with _Zacco platypus_ written on it.

“It was by pure chance! On one of my days off, I was strolling around Little Tokyo in Los Angeles and there was a flea market and it was hanging in one of the stalls and I just had to buy it for you.”

“I’d say it was fate.”

“Destiny.”

“A horse.”

They both burst out laughing at the joke. They had taken Takeru to the cinema to see _Tangled_ and for the next four months they had been repeating that dialogue at any given opportunity until Makki had orchestrated an intervention.

Tooru looked for the shirt tag and hummed when he checked it was his size. Without a second thought, he left it on the counter and took off his tank top. Hajime gulped.

_Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit_.

The sight of Tooru’s perfect, Greek-god-level naked torso knocked out the air in Hajime’s lungs and he wondered when Tooru would stop gaining muscle. Since the last time he had seen him shirtless -that weekend, that fucking blessed weekend- his pecs had grown. Hajime wanted to bite them, he needed it. He wanted to lick his neck, his chest, down to his abs, and down, down, down…

“Look who’s drooling now.” Tooru's deep chuckle took him out of his reverie. Hajime looked up from Tooru’s hip bones to his face, and when he met that smug smile and cocked eyebrow, all his blood ran to his face. “See something you like, _Hajime_?”

His voice had deepened when he said his name, and a shiver traveled through Hajime’s body.

It was a dangerous game, they both knew, that’s why it didn’t pass from there. Some flirty phrases, some heated comments, some suggestive pictures… But that was it. After all that went badly between them, they had silently agreed not to act on their somewhat resolved tension until being face to face. Hajime wondered what would happen then and smiled remembering Makki and Mattsun’s threatening texts - _don’t you dare fuck with us in the apartment, we don’t need to listen to_ that.

So, Hajime laughed, breaking the invisible tension, and told Tooru the only thing he was seeing was his fish coming back to life from how cold it must be. Tooru shook his head smiling and put on his tank top. He turned around and turned on the kitchen again.

Hajime stared at his back and allowed himself to fantasize with his arms sliding around his waist, until resting his hands on his abdomen and his lips in the space between his shoulder blades. Tooru would turn around laughing and engulfing him in his arms, and then he’d press a kiss on Hajime’s head while he’d hide his face on the crook of his neck. But it was that, a fantasy. For now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mental health is important. Go to a psychologist if you can, they help a lot, let's break the estigma!


	12. Taylor Swift, always right (part one)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Good things come to those who wait."
> 
> August, 2015.
> 
> Tooru and Hajime meet again after all the drama that could've been solved if they had just _talked._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY.  
> This was supposed to be chapter 4, but the story got out of my hands :)
> 
> I've divided it into two chapters because otherwise it would've been too long, so the second part will come to you in a couple days!
> 
> I hope you like it, please scream at me in the comments or in my dms!
> 
> cw: nsfw ;)

**_24th August, 2015_ **

Hajime checked his phone. The flight from Tokyo had landed twenty minutes ago so it shouldn’t take them long. He stood on his tiptoes and stretched his neck, trying to distinguish them amongst the people. At least Makki, his hair was unmistakable.

After ten more minutes of pacing around and checking the clock, he finally recognized Mattsun’s face in the man that was waving his hand over his head. Hajime smiled and raised the cardboard saying _fantastic four_ above his head. His friends ran to him and they clashed together in a tight hug.

“Iwaizumi! You haven’t grown any taller!”

“It took us a while to find you!”

“Fuck you both! I’m taller than average!”

Hajime playfully hit their arms laughing before hugging them again. They haven’t seen each other for over a year and he had missed them. No matter how many video calls they made, they would never replace their presence.

He stepped back and tried to grab their suitcases but his friends didn’t let him. He tried to argue but Makki ignored him and began walking without destination. Hajime sighed with a smile on his lips and accepted his defeat.

He folded the cardboard and put it on his pocket while he led them to the coffee shop where Peter was waiting. His sister had moved abroad and her car passed down to him, and he had offered his help picking them at the airport. Hajime owed him a very expensive dinner for it.

Peter waved at them from a table in the middle of the terminal, holding a giant milkshake and smiling. Hajime waved back and it was the cue Makki needed to sprint over him and hug him. Mattsun chuckled watching his boyfriend ignoring all of Japanese decorum and running into a stranger while Hajime facepalmed himself. When they arrived at the table, Makki was already bombarding Peter with questions, demanding him to tell him Hajime’s most sordid stories.

“Don’t you dare answer that!” Hajime glared at Peter who rolled his eyes.

“You’re not fun, Hajime.” For all answer, he stuck his tongue out, and his friends burst out laughing.

Fifteen minutes later, they were all settled on the table after having ordered three more milkshakes, waiting for the flight coming from Miami to land. Hajime smiled, remembering how Tooru had decided to ignore the Dallas one and pay a little extra so he could _explore the world_.

_“I’ve never been to Miami, Iwa-chan!”_

_“Dumbass, you can’t leave the airport!”_

_“But I can see it through the windows!”_

“Earth to Hajime, you there?”

“My bet is he’s daydreaming with Oikawa.”

“Or his last session at the gym. Look at that smile.” Makki poked at his cheek and Hajime blinked, his reverie broken.

“Sorry, what were you saying?” His friends erupted in laughter.

“We were asking if you wanted to have dinner here or at the apartment, since Oikawa’s flight lands pretty late, but then we noticed your mind was far away.”

“Probably over New Orleans right now.” Hajime’s cheeks covered in red as his friend burst out laughing again. He decided to ignore their teasing, it’d probably be the best.

“Let’s eat here, I think he’s gonna have something on the plane.”

Peter opened his mouth, surely to do a teasing remark, but Hajime glared at him, so he nodded and continued his previous conversation with Mattsun. He had expressed his intrigue with his job so he was asking non-stop, from _have you ever mistaken ashes_ to _have you buried someone alive_. Mattsun was more than happy to answer everything, and explain the differences between an occidental wake and a Japanese one.

Hajime tried to pay attention but he felt a pair of eyes fixed on his face, and turned to look at Makki who was grinning at him. Hajime hissed _shut up_ and Makki chuckled, before looking away and joining the other’s conversation.

Three hours later, the four of them stood at the arrivals gate. Hajime swayed from foot to foot anxiously. He had managed to keep at bay the bundle of nerves in his stomach pretty well but ever since Tooru had texted them he had landed, he had lost control.

It had been too long since Hajime had seen him in person, and the only thing he could think of was running to him and kissing him senseless, and that was the exact thing that couldn’t happen. He had a plan. His friends had a plan. Only twenty-four more hours, and he’d give Tooru the stupid romantic cheesy love story he wanted.

The phones of the Japanese rang at the same time. Hajime pulled out his own with shaking hands.

**_Fantastic Four_ **

**My Tooru**

got my suitcase

see you in a bit!

_Okay Hajime, breathe. Everything’s gonna be fine. Just say hi, how are you? Twenty-four hours. That’s nothing compared to all these months. You can do it!_

Hajime watched Mattsun raising the cardboard over his head and his heart increased his beating speed. There he was.

Tooru ran to them dragging his suitcase behind him, his smile lighting up the whole terminal. His gaze lingered on Hajime before it traveled back to his friends. Tooru crushed into Makki’s open arms laughing. There were friendly insults exchanged, promises of seeing each other more, and Makki even shed some tears, before Mattsun joined them in their hug, threatening Tooru with going down to San Juan and embarrassed the hell out of him in front of his team if they ever spent more than one year apart again.

“I’d be scared, Mattsun, if it wasn’t because I do that myself every day.” Tooru chuckled.

Hajime loved that sound. That sound and the throat that formed it, and the mouth that let it out, the mouth that tasted so good, with those soft lips, swollen in his best memories, and his curious tongue, and those teeth that sank on his neck…

_Fuck Hajime, control yourself!_

“Iwa-chan?”

Hajime blinked a couple times, and his eyes went from Tooru’s mouth to his eyes, that looked at him with an intensity that sent a shiver down Hajime’s body. He felt the heat emanating from his cheeks, surely covered in red. Now that Tooru was standing two meters away from him, all his resolve was weakening. Hajime smiled and took a step forward.

“Hey, Toru! Remember me?”

Peter moved to stand between them. Tooru was startled but soon enough he had recovered his composure. Makki glared at Hajime silently asking _what the hell dude_.

“Peter! _¡Hola!_ How you doing?” Tooru hugged him, and Peter laughed, patting his back before separating.

“Great thanks, starting my internship, looking for a roommate…”

“Yes! I saw it on Insta! Can’t believe James is gonna be famous!” Peter’s smile softened.

“Well, as he says, _don’t jinx it! Getting into Juilliard doesn’t guarantee a thing_.” Tooru nodded, muttering _you’re right_. “And what about you? You won the league! Which was this one? The fifth in a row?” Tooru’s eyes filled with pride.

“The fifth in a row. The third one with me on the team.”

“That’s quite impress-”

“Peter, I love talking to you, but I think there’s someone I haven’t greeted yet.”

Peter grinned and turned his head around to check on Hajime. His cheeks were back to his natural color, signaling that he had been able to calm himself down. Or maybe that had been Makki and Mattsun’s doing, who flanked his sides.

Peter stepped aside, and Hajime was once again in front of Tooru. He could do it. This was the same Tooru he had grown up with. _Come on Hajime, think of him covered in mud and crying when he was five, not bathed by the moonlight walking down the streets of San Juan eight months ago..._

“ _Hola_ , Iwa-chan.”

Two words, and that fond smile accompanied by the spark in his eyes, was all it took for Hajime to crumble. He launched forward, putting his arms around Tooru’s neck. Hajime swore he heard Makki facepalming himself.

“Missed you, Tooru.” Hajime whispered into his ear, lips lightly brushing his neck. He felt Tooru tugging stronger at his shirt.

“Missed you too…”

Hajime didn’t know exactly how long they were like that, the only thing he could think of was Tooru’s warmth, his body pressed against his own, his strong arms around his waist. He felt Tooru’s lips on his neck, making him shiver. Hajime took a deep breath and tried to pull apart, but Tooru didn’t move, his hands on his lower back, preventing Hajime from going away.

Hajime heard whispers behind him but he couldn’t understand what they were saying, too focused on the face in front of him, on those brown eyes that stared right back at him. His eyes traveled down to Tooru’s lips, that curled up in a smug smile.

Someone coughed loudly next to them and Hajime turned his head. He saw their three friends with their arms crossed over his chest and an arched eyebrow on their faces. He realized what had just happened and his face covered in red. Tooru snarled at them.

“ _What?_ ”

“Are we going or what?” Makki asked.

“We were _busy_.”

“And we’re _tired_. Mattsun and I haven’t slept in almost twenty hours!” Tooru was about to retort when he felt Hajime slipping out of his arms.

“They’re right, we should go.”

Hajime took Tooru’s suitcase and began walking. He passed by Makki whispering _thank you_ and sped up his steps, Peter by his side leading them to his car, and leaving Mattsun to talk to an astonished Tooru.

“Thought you wanted to do things right. We agreed no _muack_ until tomorrow!” Peter whispered.

“I know! It’s harder than I thought…” Peter patted his back.

“Don’t worry, we’re here to help you.”

They left the building and walked into the warm August night. The only people around were the ones that had shared the plane with Tooru that were waiting in line to take a cab or walking to their cars like them. Hajime preferred the airport that way, in comparison to the excessively crowded space he had been met with when Peter and him arrived many hours earlier.

Behind him, his friends couldn’t stop bickering. He heard Mattsun mocking Tooru’s hair, and Tooru replying that it was like that because of the flight. Hajime smiled and turned around just as Tooru stopped sticking his tongue out at Makki and looked forward. Tooru grinned and winked at him, and Hajime blushed lightly, before turning his head again. Luckily for him, they were reaching the car…

Hajime gasped when long slender fingers laced with his free hand tightly. Tooru didn’t say anything, and neither did him, both men too busy controlling the beating of their hearts.

When they got to the car, Hajime was ready to jump in the passenger seat and calm down without Tooru’s body next to him, but he hadn’t considered one thing:

“Iwa-chan and me in the back seat!”

Mattsun and Peter froze in the middle of loading the trunk. The next second, all eyes were locked on Hajime. Tooru squeezed his hand and Hajime turned his head to look at him. Tooru was pouting, staring at him with a silent plea in his eyes. He sighed and nodded, and his friends unfroze.

Mattsun handed Peter the last bag as Tooru got in the car followed by Hajime. Once they had buckled up, Tooru smiled and snuggled up next to Hajime, hiding his face on his neck. Makki rolled his eyes and opened the door of the passenger seat.

“If this whole week’s like that, I’m flying back to Japan.”

* * *

Forty-five minutes later, Tooru woke up feeling something pricking his side. He yawned and looked around through heavy eyelids.

“Tooru, we’re here.” He knew that voice. Tooru turned his head and found Hajime’s soft smile. “Let’s go, you’ll sleep better on my bed.”

_Oh_

That awoke Tooru’s senses. He remembered where he was and with who. He also remembered how weird everyone was behaving, and frowned.

“I’m gonna sleep on _your_ bed?”

“Of course, where else?”

Hajime got out of the car before Tooru could answer, with a light blush covering his cheeks. Outside, Mattsun was leaning on Makki’s shoulder; he had also succumbed to sleep during the drive. Hajime helped Peter take the luggage out of the trunk while Tooru got out of the car and joined Mattsun in Makki’s free shoulder. Hajime chuckled upon hearing him mutter _great another one_ and then turned around to face Peter.

“So, you better take good care of my car.” He threw the keys to Hajime.

“You sure you don’t want me to drive you? One last test of my abilities.” Peter burst out laughing.

“Nope, I trust you. Just try not to get stopped by the police.”

“I promise I’ll return it to you in one piece. Thank you so much.” They hugged and Peter waved goodbye to the others.

The elevator ride was quiet, all of them tired and wishing to get into bed. Once inside, Hajime led Makki and Mattsun to Susan’s bedroom where they would sleep. She was gonna spend the week at Carol’s and although obviously it wasn’t a problem, Hajime still had bought her lots of Hershey’s chocolates bars for the inconvenience. He explained to his friends how the shower worked and left after wishing them good night.

There was no one in the living room. Tooru must have already walked into the bedroom. Hajime sighed, watching his sheets and pyjamas on the couch -for sure Tooru had seen them too- but no trace of a pillow. He hesitated for a moment but eventually decided that it was better for his neck not to sleep on the cushions.

He gently knocked on the door before opening it, but no one answered. Carefully, slowly, he opened the door, and heard water running. He gulped and went inside. 

He walked to his closet, located next to the bathroom door and took his extra pillow. When he closed it, his gaze fell on the figure leaning on his sink, brushing his teeth. Tooru was shirtless, only wearing black sweatpants. Hajime ogled him more than he’d like to admit, long enough that Tooru finally realized he was being watched, and turned around, grinning at Hajime, who blushed heavily.

“S-Sorry, I’m going now.” He stuttered.

“It’s okay, there’s nothing you haven’t seen already.”

Tooru winked and walked towards him, so Hajime turned and walked swiftly to the exit.

“You didn’t say anything about my bracelet.” 

Hajime stopped and turned on his heels. Tooru leant against the closet with his arms crossed over his chest and Hajime’s gift wrapped around his right wrist. It was the first thing he had noticed -along with the light tan on his skin- but he had bit his tongue, forced himself not to say anything and pretended that he wasn’t wearing the identical one on his left wrist. He didn’t want to risk _the_ topic to come up. It had to wait a few more hours.

“Oh. I didn’t notice.” Tooru narrows his eyes, a feline smile tugging his lips upwards.

“Be grateful that it’s so obvious that you’re all hiding something from me, Iwa-chan.” His smile falters a bit. “Otherwise, I’d be inclined to think that you no longer like me…” Hajime hated how his attempt at teasing couldn’t conceal the fear beneath it. He clenched his fists at his sides.

_“You need to prove to him that you’re with him one hundred percent, cause with your history I’m sure he’ll be uncertain of your feelings. It doesn’t need to be big or romantic, just something that reassures him…”_

_“I think something_ big _and_ romantic _is exactly what he wants. He’s always liked Korean dramas, and don’t get me started on all those_ telenovelas _…”_

_“Then we better start planning!”_

Susan’s words echoed in his memory. Of course, she was right, the times she wasn’t could be counted with the fingers on one hand.

“Just…” Hajime sighed. “You’ll know tomorrow night, okay? It’s a surprise.” He smiled, trying his best to reassure him, and he relaxed when Tooru softly smiled back.

“Can’t wait.” 

Hajime supposed that was his cue to leave, but Tooru was magnetic. There was no one around to stop him, so he walked towards him. Hajime saw Tooru’s strange expression right before he threw his pillow to the bed.

“Iwa-”

Hajime cupped his face in his hands and kissed him. Tooru’s shock lasted less than two seconds and soon enough he was moving his lips in a desperate answer, tugging his shirt to pull him closer. Hajime smiled against his mouth and slid his hands around his neck. He pressed Tooru harder to the closet, swallowing the whimper that left his throat. The kiss was full of hunger and need and yearning and so much love that Hajime felt his knees wanting to give up. He sucked on Tooru’s bottom lip and then pressed their foreheads together.

“That was supposed to be just a peck.” Tooru sighed.

“Fuck, Hajime. How do you expect me to wait now?”

“I-I-” Hajime felt the blood running to his face. Tooru chuckled deeply.

“You should leave, or else I’m not letting you go.”

Hajime nodded and stepped back. He took the pillow and walked to the door but stopped before leaving. He turned around and saw Tooru climbing to bed and laying on his back. He propped on his elbows and looked at him with a cocked eyebrow and a smug smile, not caring that he was being shamelessly checked out.

“Last chance to join me.”

Tooru’s honeyed voice was music to Hajime’s ears and he had to fight with all his strength to not jump him, but he succeeded. Hajime shook his head and with a last _see you tomorrow_ closed the door behind him.

* * *

**_25th August, 2015_ **

There was a festive atmosphere in the queue to enter the Staples Center. Everyone was having fun; taking pictures, singing at the top of their lungs… Everyone but Hajime. He tried, really, but in his mind there was only room to go over and over again what he had to do. Well, that, and the kiss he had shared last night with Tooru.

He had been like that all day. As soon as he got up, and showing his campus to Mattsun and Makki while Tooru stayed resting at home -in _his_ bed-, and helping Mattsun cook his super special recipe -which turned out to be simple rice three delights with a touch of curry- and driving to the venue… He had been so focused on mentally reviewing the setlist for the fiftieth time that he almost skipped the exit of the highway. Only the shouts of Makki, designated co-pilot, had saved them.

“Stop frowning and relax, everything will be fine.” Susan whispered next to him.

Hajime sighed, and muttered a _thank you_ before focusing on his group of friends, that were amicably discussing with another group which Taylor’s album was best. But the discussion turned into an argument when one of the other boys dared to say that _RED is not that great of an album, but everybody’s just scared to say it_. Peter and Susan gasped, and Mattsun was _fuming_. Makki had to restrain him so he wouldn’t make a scene. Sadly, no one held Carol back. The girl began screaming how they were tasteless and how they could call themselves swifties, until Susan grabbed his arm and took her away from there, apologizing on their behalf.

Tooru was standing next to Mattsun, bent over in laughter and wiping away some tears. It was the best sound Hajime had ever heard. Not that fake suppressed laugh that made everyone swoon over him and Hajime hated. No, that one was more like a cackle, reserved only for those close to him. Eyes shut close and mouth wide opened. He looked stunning.

Hajime was so busy gawking at Tooru that he didn’t even realize the doors had been opened and the line was starting to move until Peter nudged him. Hajime gulped. There they go.

It didn’t take them long to find their seats on section 108, row 7, and, as they had planned, Hajime sat on one end, next to Tooru, who immediately took the opportunity to take his hand and leaned on his shoulder, making Hajime’s heart beat faster.

“You’ve been ignoring me all day, Iwa-chan. Afraid you’ll kiss me again?” Tooru whispered into his ear. Hajime turned his head and stared at him, his eyes lingering briefly on his lips and he dug his nails into his thigh to control himself. Of course, Tooru noticed and, grinning, took Hajime’s hands in his, lacing their fingers together. “I’m right here. It’s already _tomorrow night_.” Tooru placed their hands over his heart and leaned forward. Hajime could perfectly see the light blush on his cheeks. “I don’t wanna wait anymore, it’s been _months_. And I remember what you told me.” He smiled softly. “Hajime, I-” Hajime stamped his hand over Tooru’s mouth, who widened his eyes in surprise.

_“Hajime, I-”_

_“Wait! Don’t say it if I can’t kiss you after.”_

Hajime remembered. Of course he did. And _of course_ he understood Tooru. He was right; it had been _months_. He wasn’t the only one getting desperate, the kiss from last night was enough proof that Hajime needed this concert to be over -well, at least half of it- and finally let all those feelings out of his chest.

“I-I remember, Tooru, but…” Hajime sighed and pressed his forehead against Tooru’s, looking at him with a plea in his eyes, and removed his hand. “We’re doing things right this time, okay? Trust me, just a couple more hours…”

Tooru wanted to retort; he didn’t understand a thing but he trusted Hajime, so he sighed and nodded, before leaning back in his seat and turning his head to the stage, where Vance Joy had just appeared. But his mind kept going back to Hajime. _Doing things right this time_. What the hell did that mean? He thought of texting Paula but she’d probably be asleep already.

Next to him, his friends were glaring at Hajime, demanding an explanation for what they had just witnessed but Hajime ignored them and focused his attention on Tooru once again. He was frowning lightly, and he knew he must be replaying their conversation over and over, so he took his hand and kissed its back. Tooru turned to look at him with a question on his face. Hajime smiled fondly.

“I like you.” Tooru blushed lightly. “Don’t overthink it, please. Enjoy the concert.” Hajime stood up and Tooru followed him with a sigh.

_Enjoy the concert. Okay, I can do that._

After the first couple songs, Tooru found himself in a better mood, without worries. It had been a long time -years- since he’d been to a concert and he was determined to have as much fun as possible. The opening acts were quite entertaining. He had to admit he hadn’t heard any of their songs previously but they didn’t sound bad.

When HAIM disappeared from the stage, Hajime nudged him to look at Peter, who was bawling his eyes out, cheering so loudly he was probably deafening Makki. Carol smacked Peter’s head and insulted him before offering a tissue that he gladly accepted.

All of them followed her lead and kept mocking Peter, much to his dismay. Until the notes of Welcome to New York began playing and they all snapped their heads back to the stage. The crowds in stands went wild, adrenaline pumped through their bodies, their bracelets lit up in white and Taylor Swift emerged.

The next hour was one of the best in Hajime’s life. They all danced around, vibing to the music, singing at the top of their lungs and howling of joy. Hajime had listened to those songs a thousand times, he loved them, and yet, he had trouble remembering the lyrics when his eyes fell upon Tooru. He was so handsome with his striped shirt and looked _so_ happy and Hajime needed to kiss him _so_ badly… But every time, he bit his lips and focused on the performance again.

Fortunately, Taylor had changed his clothes and was wearing the white outfit with suspenders, meaning it shouldn’t be long before she picked up her guitar. Surprisingly, his nerves had calmed down and instead of the knot in his stomach, Hajime felt eagerness. He was ready.

The lights went out after Taylor saw out Beck and St Vincent and Hajime took a deep breath. It was time. He felt a tug on his sleeve and looked down, finding Susan smiling and giving him a thumbs up before going to her position. She began distributing the papers, not very sneakily, and Hajime felt grateful that Tooru was so absorbed by Taylor walking to the platform that he didn’t notice what was going on beside him.

When the platform was raised, Hajime stepped to the side, closer to Tooru, and grabbed his hand. Tooru immediately looked down at their intertwined fingers and then up, staring at Hajime with a questioning face. Hajime simply shrugged and looked forward, and Tooru let it be. This was his favorite song; he had known it since the first time he listened to it and the lyrics _talked_ to him. If Hajime wanted to hold hands meanwhile, he wasn’t gonna complain.

“I was looking at you and I was thinking,” Taylor started speaking, playing softly “I really would love to sing a song just you and me and this guitar, and see how loud this singing could possibly get with 70563 people.” The crowd cheered and Tooru put his free hand around his mouth as a megaphone and screamed. “Alright, so I wanna teach you an echo part. When I say _you can hear it in the silence_ , you say _silence_. When I say _you can feel it on the way home_ , you say _way home_. And when I say _you can see it with the lights out_ , you say _lights out_. You wanna practice? Let’s practice. It’s like this.”

Hajime felt the excitement running through his veins and took a deep breath.

_You can hear it in the silence_

“SILENCE!” Hajime yelled back along with the rest of the crowd.

_Silence_

“Silence!”

_You can feel it on the way home_

“Way home!”

_Way home!_

“Way home!”

_You can see it with the lights out_

“Lights out!”

_Lights out_

“Lights out!”

_You are in love_

_True love_

_You are in love_

Taylor smiled, and the chords she was playing changed smoothly from those belonging to the chorus to the ones from the first verse. Hajime took a deep breath, and then a step back, dropping Tooru’s hand and moving to stand behind him, who tensed when he felt Hajime’s arms wrapping around his waist, but immediately relaxed.

_One look, dark room_

_Meant just for you_

“Iwa-chan?” Tooru’s voice was barely audible, but Hajime had rested his chin on his shoulder, and was able to hear him and perceive the intrigue in his voice.

“Enjoy our song, Tooru.” _Our song_.

A shiver ran down Tooru’s body, and he turned his head to the right, to find Hajime smiling fondly at him. Tooru felt his cheeks heating up and his heart speeding up its beating. He nodded and returned his gaze to the stage, his hands absently resting on Hajime’s forearms.

_No proof, one touch_

_You felt enough_

As the chorus hit them, they echoed the words like they had been taught. Hajime’s voice in his ear was steady, extremely calmed in comparison to Tooru’s that was coming out shaky. He was having trouble concentrating on other things apart from Hajime’s breath on his neck and his lips brushing his skin.

_And for once you let go_

_Of your fears and your ghosts_

One of Hajime’s hands moved to his chin, gently caressing his cheek with his thumb, and pressuring lightly, a silent plea for Tooru to look at him, to which he was more than happy to comply. Their gazes met and Tooru melted under the devotion he saw reflected in those green eyes.

_One night, he wakes_

_Strange look on his face_

_Pauses, then says_

“ _You’re my best friend_.”

_And you knew what it was_

_He is in love_

The song continued, people around them kept singing, but Tooru didn’t hear a thing, only the loud beating of his heart ricocheting in his ears, and Hajime’s words echoing in his mind. The world around him stopped, and his mouth dried.

“Iwa-chan?”

Hajime put his hands on his waist, and gently turned him around to face their friends. Tooru let out a soft chuckle as few tears appeared in the corners of his eyes. Carol, Peter, Makki and Mattsun were grinning at him, holding a piece of paper each.

**_BE MY BOYFRIEND ?_ **

All the uneasiness he had felt for the last day disappeared at a stroke with that simple sentence. The weight on his chest finally lifted. He had never felt lighter.

Tooru covered his face with his hands, giggling, when Susan stepped from behind Carol pointing her phone at him. His friends laughed at him, Makki even whistled, and then Tooru felt someone tapping on his shoulder.

His lips curled up forming his biggest smile yet and he turned around to face Hajime, who was looking at him with eyes full of fondness and a slight worry that Tooru was gonna erase _right now_.

“To-” Tooru pulled him closer from the collar of his shirt and clashed their mouths together. Their friends and the people in the rows next to them cheered them on. It was a messy kiss, both of them laughing hysterically, trying to move their lips in sync and failing. Hajime took a step back. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Yes. Yes. A thousand times yes. I love you, Hajime.”

Tooru was beaming, his cheeks flushed and covered with trails of the happy tears he hadn’t been able to hold back. Hajime put a lock of his hair behind his ear and, as he had promised six months ago, kissed him.

_So it goes_

_You two are dancing in a snow globe, ‘round and ‘round_

_And he keeps a picture of you in his office downtown_

“Is that why I didn’t see our polaroid at the wedding in your bedroom, Iwa-chan?”

“What?” Hajime’s mind was a bit dizzy from all the kissing; he didn’t understand what Tooru was saying.

“The lyrics.” Tooru giggled. “Do you keep our picture in your office downtown?” He singsonged.

“Oh.” Hajime’s cheeks turned red and then his eyebrows furrowed slightly. “I was kissing you and you were paying attention to the lyrics?” He pouted, wrapping his arms around Tooru’s waist.

“Iwa-chan, you’re so, _so_ cute.” Tooru grinned, putting his arms around his shoulders, fingers playing with the short hairs on his nape, and kissed his nose. “I can pay attention to two things, you know?” Hajime chuckled.

“It’s actually in the document holder you gave me last Christmas. So I can look at you every day.” Hajime’s thumb caressed Tooru’s cheek, and Tooru’s face turned red as a tomato, completely caught by surprise by Hajime’s statement.

_You are in love_

_True love_

_You are in love_

The song ended, and the crowd erupted in cheers. Next to them, Susan screamed his lungs out, but they were in their own universe. Tooru cupped Hajime’s face in his hands and gave him a peck. An enamored sigh left Hajime’s lips.

“Do you wanna know something, Tooru?” Hajime whispered, and Tooru nodded, blushing harder under the intensity of Hajime’s gaze. “I’m in love.” Hajime flashed him his crooked smile, the one that sent shivers through Tooru’s body. “True love.” He singsonged, and Tooru whined, pressing their foreheads together.

“So smooth, Iwa-chan. Do you wanna kill me?” Hajime giggled and Tooru melted in his arms.

They kissed again, and again, and again, devouring each other’s mouths until a pair of strong arms belonging to Mattsun forced them apart, congratulating them but also begging them to separate because there were kids in the back row that didn’t need to see _that_.

They chuckled and decided to pay attention to the concert and their friends, who were still grinning at them. All except Peter, who sighed and muttered _I feel so single right now_ , which earned a burst of laughter from all of them.

* * *

It had been the worst car ride in Makki and Mattsun’s life.

Tooru and Hajime glanced at each other continually, giggling. From his position in the back seat, Mattsun could see perfectly Tooru biting his lip, and when they were on the highway, Hajime had put his hand in Tooru’s thigh, and moved it up and down.

When they parked, Makki and Mattsun jumped out of the car, but they had stayed inside, kissing slowly, until Makki had coughed and knocked on the window.

In the elevator, the tension was unbearable. Tooru hugged Hajime from behind, whispering something in his ear that was making him blush and that _thankfully_ neither Makki nor Mattsun could hear.

After Hajime opened the door, Makki grabbed Tooru’s arm so he couldn’t sprint to the bedroom, because Makki knew what that feral look meant and he had to say something first.

“Listen, we all know what you’re dying to do and obviously I’m not gonna forbid it but _please_ , don’t make any sound. I don’t want a trauma.” Tooru rolled his eyes.

“ _Che_ Makki, okay, we’ll be quiet, now let go of me.” Makki turned to look at Hajime, who was staring at Tooru with the same hunger.

“Yeah, yeah, promise.” Makki sighed in defeat.

“Well, at least I tried.”

Makki released his grip and Tooru immediately ran to Hajime’s bedroom, followed by him. Mattsun chuckled when he heard the latch of the door and took Makki’s hand, leading him to their room.

“Come on, I think I have earplugs in my suitcase, you can borrow them.”

They heard a bang coming from Hajime’s bedroom, and Makki wailed.

* * *

As soon as Hajime locked the door, Tooru slammed his back to it and pressed his body completely against Hajime’s. A wild grin appeared on his face when he felt Hajime was as ready as him. Tooru licked his lips and attacked. He ravished Hajime’s mouth, his tongue not leaving a corner without exploring, while rubbing their crotches together. Tooru swallowed every whimper coming from Hajime’s throat while tugging at his shirt.

“Take this off.” He grunted, and Hajime chuckled.

“Impatient.”

“It’s been _months_ , Hajime.” Tooru sucked on his bottom lip. “I need you.”

Hajime growled and pushed him back. Tooru walked backwards until the back of his knees reached the frame of the bed, hooking his thumbs under the waistband of his shirt and pulling it over his head.

Hajime stared at him, his gaze wandering all over his chest, down to his navel, following that happy trail to the belt that Tooru unbuckled swiftly. Tooru slid his jeans and briefs down his legs in the same motion, and then leaned on one hand on the bed to pull them out his feet. Only when he stood up again, completely naked and _ready_ and looked at Hajime with his flirty smile, he realized that Hajime hadn’t undressed himself and was checking him out with his signature grin and arms crossed over his chest.

“Like what you see?” Tooru raised an eyebrow.

“Yep, very much.” Hajime took a step forward and pushed Tooru from his hip bones so he sat on the bed. “You’re always so eager…”

“Can you blame me?”

Instead of answering, Hajime began removing his clothes under the hungry look of Tooru, who wrapped one hand around his cock and began stroking it shamelessly, enjoying the show. Without more garments on, Hajime commanded Tooru to scoot to the center of the bed, to which he obeyed without any objection. Hajime climbed to the bed and positioned his knees at both sides of Tooru, sitting down on his thighs. Their cocks rubbed, and they both moaned. And then, there was knocking on the wall.

“I told you to be quiet!” Makki’s voice came muffled from the other room.

Tooru and Hajime looked at each other, biting his lips not to burst out laughing. Hajime leaned forward and kissed him softly.

“Keep touching yourself.” Hajime whispered over his lips, reaching out to his bedside table, looking for the lube and condoms in his second drawer.

Hajime bit Tooru’s shoulder to suppress another moan when he felt long slender fingers wrapping around his cock and Tooru’s heat next to him in the same grasp.

“T-Tooru…”

“We look so good together, Hajime.” Tooru’s deep voice along with his slow pumping didn’t let Hajime think properly. “What shall we do?” His lips brushed Hajime’s neck and moved up to nibble on his earlobe. “Something to keep our mouths busy, that’s for sure.” Tooru panted as he increased the speed of his movements.

Hajime slid his shaking hand between their bodies and forced Tooru to let go of them. Then, Hajime took Tooru in his hand and began tugging at him swiftly. Tooru squeezed his eyes shut and opened his mouth; Hajime was on him before any sound could come out. Then, he stopped and locked eyes with Tooru, who looked at him through heavy eyelids.

“Touch me.” He whispered. “And kiss me. Bite me if you need it. But touch me, Tooru. And I’ll touch you.”

Tooru nodded eagerly and once again wrapped his hand around Hajime, dragging out a groan from his throat. Hajime grabbed the sheets next to Tooru’s head in one fist and leaned forward to clash their mouths together.

They didn’t find their sync quickly. It took them a few whispered questions, and giggles muffled by the other’s skin, but soon enough Tooru was swallowing greedily Hajime’s whines, while digging his free hand on his back.

Hajime’s breathing was faltering, and it was taking everything in himself to keep going. Tooru noticed it, and his lips curled up. He swirled his thumb over the head of Hajime’s cock, and enjoyed watching Hajime rolling his eyes and parting his lips. Tooru took this opportunity and sneaked his tongue inside him while stroking him faster.

Hajime couldn’t help it anymore and let go of Tooru, grabbing the sheets with his now free hand, and began bucking his hips forward. Tooru watched as Hajime’s eyebrows furrowed and his lips molded into a mischievous smile.

“Let go, Hajime. You know you want to.” He accompanied his words with a flick of his wrist and Hajime came undone. He spilled over Tooru’s chest, and Tooru drowned his moan with his mouth.

Tooru kept stroking him, slower that time, letting him ride his orgasm, gently peppering his face with kisses and caressing his back until Hajime took a deep breath and opened his eyes smiling.

“Thank you.”

“You’re more than welcome.” Tooru chuckled.

Hajime looked down between them to where Tooru’s cock still stood defiant and didn’t hesitate before wrapping his hand around it. Tooru gasped and Hajime began pumping him up and down with fast strokes. Tooru threw his head back and Hajime covered his mouth with his free hand to muffle his sounds. It wasn’t long until his back arched and more white painted him, Hajime’s name slipping through Hajime’s fingers.

Hajime removed his hand, not without caressing Tooru’s cheek with his thumb before. Neither of them moved for a while, too busy staring fondly at each other, with the stupidest smile on their lips. Eventually, Tooru’s eyes wandered down Hajime’s body, and then found out the mess they had done in his chest. He raised an eyebrow and looked at Hajime again.

“I think I’m gonna take a shower…” Hajime laughed.

“I’ll join you.”

After the shower, they put on their pyjamas and climbed to the bed, and laid down on their sides, legs intertwined and lips meeting over and over. In the bathroom, they had spent more time making out and letting their hands wander over the other’s body than actually washing themselves, Tooru thought, but who could blame them? It had been one hell of a road to get where they were.

“Hey, Iwa-chan.” Hajime stopped kissing Tooru’s jaw and opened his eyes. He hummed to let him know he was listening, and Tooru smiled. “I love you.” His heart melted when he saw the light pink that covered Hajime’s cheeks at that moment.

“I love you too.”

“I really missed you.” Tooru’s smile grew bigger when he saw him blushing harder.

“Me too. Did you like the surprise?”

“It was perfect. I loved it.” Tooru leaned forward and brushed their noses together. “My _boyfriend_ is perfect.” Hajime turned completely red and Tooru beamed. He tried to hide on Tooru’s neck but he didn’t allow it, cupping his face in his hands. Hajime rolled his eyes and sighed exasperatedly, but smiled.

“You’re enjoying this too much.”

“Yes.” Tooru giggled. “Hey, Iwa-chan.” The aforementioned hummed. “I love you.” Hajime chuckled.

“How many times are you gonna say it?”

“I don’t know.” Tooru shrugged. “Until you stop blushing whenever I say it.” He grinned and Hajime shook his head, almost as if he couldn’t believe he was officially dating that dumbass. Then, Tooru pouted. “You didn’t say it back.”

“I love you too, my Tooru.” Hajime giggled.

“Let’s stop wasting time, yeah?” Hajime stared at him. Tooru’s voice had softened, and his eyes had so much fondness in them… Hajime’s heart stopped.

“Okay.”

“Let’s go on a date tomorrow.”

“Okay.”

“Let’s go to the observatory again.”

“Okay.”

“Don’t you know other words beside _okay_ , Iwa-chan?” Tooru raised an eyebrow, amused, and Hajime laughed.

“Nope. You broke me, Shittykawa.” Tooru gasped.

“How rude. I’m your boyfriend now, I demand a better nickname.”

“Okay…” Hajime grinned. “Crappykawa.” Tooru shook his head, smiling.

“You’re incredible.”

“Thanks, I know.”

They burst out laughing, then widened their eyes and quickly covered their mouths, expecting to hear knocking on the wall, but they didn’t. Their friends were probably already asleep. They sighed in relief and Hajime pressed a soft kiss on Tooru’s lips before turning around. Tooru put his arm over his waist, and they cuddled closer.

“Hey Hajime…”

Hajime dozed off listening to Tooru’s deep voice whispering how much he loved him.

* * *

**_26th August, 2015_ **

The bread jumped and Makki put the toasts on the dish, yawning. Then, he proceeded to spread butter and the strawberry jam Hajime had bought for him, while Mattsun prepared the coffees. Makki’s knife slipped to the floor and he began swearing like a sailor. Mattsun raised an eyebrow. 

“Someone’s grumpy this morning.”

“Not grumpy, _traumatized_.” Mattsun snorted.

“Come on Hiro, it wasn’t that bad.”

“It wasn’t that bad?! They _moaned_. Repeatedly.” Makki’s body squirmed in disgust, and Mattsun burst out laughing. “Shut up!” Makki whined. “And go wake them up. I’m not risking seeing them naked.”

“Well, there’s nothing you haven’t already seen, we showered together for three years, so…”

“Issei.” Makki narrowed his eyes and frowned, looking at Mattsun with his best attempt at an angry face. Mattsun chuckled.

“I’m on it.” He leaned forward and pressed a smooch on Makki’s cheek. “My grumpy cat.”

Makki smiled and rolled his eyes while Mattsun walked to Hajime’s bedroom. He opened the door slowly, just a crack, not wanting to wake them up abruptly in case they were still sleeping.

But they weren’t; they were tangled up together, whispering. He couldn’t hear what they were saying but from where he was standing, he could see Hajime’s bright smile. He hesitated on calling them out and eventually shook his head and stepped back, opting for giving them more time. After all, they had been apart for months, they deserved that moment. But Makki had other plans. He sighed watching his boyfriend closing the door and walked over there.

“Get up you two!” He slammed the door open, scaring them and making Tooru fall from the bed with a loud thump. Thankfully for Makki, he was wearing clothes. “Today’s schedule is Joshua Tree National Park, not lounging in bed. Get dressed! Grab your hats! Breakfast’s ready.” He stormed out of there to the kitchen, leaving behind his surprised friends. Tooru propped on his elbows from the floor.

“Mattsun, control your housewife.”

“Sorry, I like him wild.” They burst out laughing and Mattsun left, leaving the door open by Makki’s yelled command.

Tooru snorted and laid on his back. Hajime scooted to the edge of the bed and looked at him from above, smiling.

“Hey there, gorgeous. Is my carpet comfy?”

“Not as much as your chest, but I’m not complaining” Tooru stretched out the floor before standing up and Hajime chuckled.

“Maybe you should’ve slept there the last time you visited.”

“Maybe you should’ve slept on the couch.” Hajime hummed.

“Maybe, but I think subconsciously I wanted to be close to you.” Tooru blushed lightly and leaned forward to press a soft kiss on Hajime’s lips. _My sap_ , he muttered, before walking to the bathroom.

A few minutes later, Tooru and Hajime emerged from their bedroom dressed and with their backpacks ready, and sat at the dining table next to their friends, who were already finishing their coffee. Tooru grabbed a chocolate croissant, rolling his eyes and moaning when the sweet flavor flooded his mouth. He had declared that week his _cheat week_ and was determined to make the best of it. He took another bite and Makki whined, covering his ears with his hands. Then, took his cup and dish and stood up, walking to the kitchen. Hajime frowned, looking at Mattsun.

“What's wrong with him?”

“He didn’t sleep well last night.” Tooru grinned.

“Oh Mattsun, has your snoring gotten worse?” Mattsun grinned back.

“No, but your moaning has.”

To his surprise, only Hajime turned red. He spit his orange juice as Tooru threw his head back laughing and when Makki returned, he smirked at him, amusement filling his eyes.

“Makki! You have no right to complain!”

“No right?! I couldn’t sleep!”

“So what?! It’s been only one night! And we didn’t even-”

“DADADADADA” Makki covered his ears, glaring at Tooru.

“Hajime and I suffered all these years and we didn’t complain! Not once!” Makki gasped.

“Excuse me?! What are you talking about?!”

“Ever since you came out to us you haven’t shut up! Putting pictures in our heads!” Tooru chuckled. “We know _everything_ about your sex lives.”

“That’s not true.” Makki narrowed his eyes.

“Is it?” Tooru’s challenging gaze made Makki gulped. Tooru turned to Hajime who had recovered his natural cheek color and was taking a bite of his toast. “Iwa-chan, who cried during their first time?”

“ _Mazsun_.” He answered with his mouth full. Tooru looked at the aforementioned, who shrugged.

“It’s true.” Makki rolled his eyes.

“That’s nothing.”

“Iwa-chan, what happened two days before the university access exam?”

“Makki couldn’t get it up.”

“What’s their safe word?”

“Apron.”

“Aaaand how many times have they used it?” Hajime frowned, thinking. He took a sip of his juice before answering.

“Twice? The first time was when Makki got too excited with their new whip and the second one was last year when they were playing with wax.” Tooru grinned at Makki, who sighed.

“That’s correct.” Tooru opened his mouth to speak but Makki beat him. “Okay, okay, you were right. _I’m soooorry_.”

Tooru beamed at his words and, satisfied, kept eating his croissant, moaning happily. Hajime turned completely red, choking on his drink again and all of them burst out laughing at him.

It was a long drive to the National Park, but it went by in the blink of an eye, thanks to the familiar bickering between them and the music on the radio. They left Peter’s car at the parking where the Barker Dam Nature Trail started.

Hajime had read it was one of the best hiking routes in the Park; well-marked; with beautiful views and easy. Maybe too easy for them in normal conditions, but the summer temperatures didn’t give them a choice. They took their bags and began walking.

The closest thing to a desert Makki and Mattsun had ever seen were the Tottori Dunes back in Japan and, in comparison, it was pretty shitty. Makki couldn’t stop taking pictures with the camera Mattsun’s parents had gotten them last Christmas, and he even managed to capture a bobcat staring at them from afar. With Tooru’s phone they took several selfies and sent them to their Seijoh group chat. When Kunimi answered right away, the four of them sent him an audio screaming and ordered him to go to sleep, and then burst out laughing, perfectly picturing their ex kouhai rolling his eyes.

The enthusiasm of his friends over an environment that had become natural to Tooru thrilled him. He had missed them. Teasing and gossiping with Makki, having long conversations with Mattsun, remembering the old days… 

But above all, he had missed Hajime, his _boyfriend_. Tooru still had kind of a hard time believing last night had happened, and so he would stare at him, until Hajime noticed and stared back with that wide smile that made Tooru’s heart skip a beat. Then Hajime would come closer and grab his hand, squeezing it while kissing him softly, before going back to lead the way, leaving behind a Tooru that was sure the heat on his cheeks wasn’t from the sun.

They sat to have lunch when they got to the lake, also taking some time to cool off and sunbathe, enjoying each other’s company. In the walk back to the car, Tooru slipped on a rock and fell on his ass, causing the other three to bend over in laughter. It was such a pathetic fall that he blushed and didn’t move until Hajime helped him stand up.

Tooru spent the half hour left to get to the car holding Hajime’s hand and pouting, while behind them Makki and Mattsun kept mocking him. One time they got Hajime to chuckle with them and Tooru glared at him, but instead of making him stop, Hajime laughed harder and slid his arm around Tooru’s waist, bringing him closer. Tooru’s mind stopped working but he managed to send the message to his arm to rest on Hajime’s shoulder.

Once in the parking lot, Mattsun left his bag in the car and went to the public toilet. When he returned, he saw Makki with a disgusted face looking at Hajime and Tooru exchanging spit shamelessly in front of all those cars, and he froze in place, as if he had been struck with a lightning bolt. They broke apart laughing and noticed him. Tooru and Hajime raised an eyebrow and Makki turned to him, waving his hand in front of his face.

“Issei?”

Mattsun walked to Makki and, without saying anything, cupped his face in his hands and kissed him fervently. Makki widened his eyes at first, caught by surprise, but then melted against him. Next to them, their friends grinned and made puking signs.

“Hey lover boys cut it, there are children present!” Tooru exclaimed after a while, with a huge smile on his lips.

Mattsun laughed against Makki’s mouth and stepped back.

“Not that I’m complaining, but what was that for?” Makki said, a little out of breath.

“I had a revelation.” Mattsun caressed his cheeks with his thumb.

“Oh, care to share it?”

“We’re not in Japan.” Makki cocked an eyebrow.

“Great, it only took you two-”

“We’re not in Japan so I can kiss you whenever I want, no need to hide.” Mattsun cut him, smiling fondly at him.

Makki went speechless, letting Mattsun’s words fall over him. _No need to hide_. Shaking slightly, he moved his hands to his neck and opened the thin silver chain, taking the ring that hung from it. Mattsun watched in awe as Makki slid the band on his finger. Tooru and Hajime stopped laughing and widened their eyes in shock.

“A-Are you engaged?” Makki giggled and turned to look at him.

“No, not yet.” He was smiling but Tooru detected the sad tone in his voice. “This is a promise ring Issei gave me three years ago.” Hajime walked towards him and took his hand, examining the silver band.

“It’s beautiful. What’s the promise?” He looked up at Mattsun.

“Something simple: to love each other forever.”

Hajime beamed, extremely happy for his friends, and after a bit more examination, let go of Makki's hand, and told them to get in the car, tell them the story on the road. Tooru turned on his heels to leave but Makki grabbed him from the shoulder. He had seen him watching the ring, with a deep frown on his face.

“Don’t need to be envious, that bracelet you’re wearing means the same, you know?” Makki patted him on the back and walked to the car.

“I-I’m not-” Makki’s smirk shut Tooru up, and they got in the car.

During the drive back, instead of listening to their friends, Tooru spent more time staring at his wrist, and then at Hajime’s wrist, and then at his face, and then he started over again. Did it really mean the same? _Forever_? Was that why Hajime gave it to him? But that had been _before_ officially dating. Tooru felt his brain heating with all the overthinking and looked at Hajime, who was smiling, his eyes focused on the road ahead. Paula’s words at their last session echoed in his mind and Tooru sighed. They needed to talk.


	13. Taylor Swift, always right (part two)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tooru and Hajime finally talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: NSFW
> 
> Enjoy!

**_26th August, 2015, night_ **

Hajime was sure he would never get used to the softness of Tooru’s lips, to the way they molded perfectly with his own.

They had arrived at the apartment with enough time for a quick nap and a shower; and had dressed up in fifteen minutes, leaving them five to make out against his desk.

“Hajime, we have to go…” Tooru giggled.

“Don’t wanna…” He moved his lips to Tooru’s neck, covering it with kisses and light bites. Tooru bit his lips to hold back a whimper. He _really_ didn’t want to stop him but he also didn’t have to deal with Susan’s rage if they were late. He put his hands on Hajime’s shoulders and pushed him back gently.

“Come on, our friends are waiting.” Hajime pouted and Tooru gave him a peck. “We’ll continue later tonight.” He winked and left while Hajime went to the bathroom.

Tooru didn’t expect what he walked into. They were supposed to meet the others at a restaurant in Downtown, so he didn’t understand why Susan was in the middle of his -well, _her_ \- living room holding a tupperware.

“Susan?” The girl was paralyzed. And then two more people walked out of the kitchen carrying two cups and a bottle of wine. Carol and Peter stopped their feet and stared at Tooru in shock.

“Fuck, you were supposed to be glued to Iwaizumi for at least five more minutes.” Makki left Susan’s bedroom holding two candles. “Anyways, surprise.” He looked at the college group. “Let’s keep going.” The three nodded and moved again. Tooru blinked a couple times before shaking his head and turned to watch them set the table. Mattsun left the room, fixing his shirt cuffs, and Tooru looked at him frowning.

“What is this?”

“This, my dear Oikawa,” Mattsun put his arm around his shoulders and grinned “is your first date. Enjoy.” He patted his back and walked to help the others, leaving a flustered Tooru behind.

They whispered as they put everything on the table. Carol ran to the kitchen, smiling at Tooru as she passed by and returned with two bowls. Susan grabbed them and served the content of the tupperware in them. Turned out it was spaghettis and meatballs that looked so delicious Tooru’s mouth watered instantly.

“What’s going on here?”

Tooru turned around and saw Hajime standing right outside his bedroom with the same questioning face as himself. Their friends began collecting their things while Makki walked towards them.

“Listen, we’re gonna have dinner and then we’ll go to a fancy club Peter knows. I don’t know what time we’ll be back, but don’t wait for us awake, okay?” Makki winked at them. “Enjoy your date.”

Tooru’s cheeks blushed slightly as Makki walked away. Mattsun held the door open for the group to leave, the last one being Susan, who turned and mouthed at Hajime _talk to him_ before waving them goodbye. Mattsun grinned and turned off the lights of the living room, leaving the room lit only by the candles, and closed the door.

“Did you know about this?” Hajime asked and Tooru shook his head.

“I caught them when I walked in.”

Hajime hummed and looked at the table. Tooru wondered what was going through his mind. It wouldn’t be the first time they had dinner together, though it would definitely be the first time in such an intimate ambiance. Tooru watched the corners of his lips curling up and then Hajime looked at him with that old familiar fondness in his eyes.

“A date, huh?” He walked to Tooru and took his hand, kissing the back of it. Tooru’s heart skipped a beat and he struggled dragging coherent words out of his mouth. He settled with nodding and smiling, which made Hajime chuckle. “Sit down, I’ll go change.”

“T-There’s no need Iwa-chan.” Tooru sighed. “You look very handsome.” Hajime grinned, and Tooru didn’t miss the mischievous spark in his eyes.

“Trust me, I have to.”

Hajime let go of his hand and entered his room, closing the door behind him. Tooru took a couple steps and sat on the wooden chair, observing the dinner in front of him. He smiled, wondering how their friends had organized all that in so little time and remembering how Makki had been checking his phone all morning long. The two groups had clicked instantly, though Tooru hadn’t doubted it for a second. The first time he visited, they had taken him in with open arms, and although things had ended a bit tense, everything had been solved and he kept chatting with them sometimes.

Tooru heard the door opening and he literally melted in his seat when he saw what Hajime was wearing. He grabbed the napkin and covered his face that had turned beet red. Hajime laughed and walked to him. He gripped his wrists and kissed him through the cloth and they both giggled. Hajime sat on his chair grinning, and Tooru put the napkin on his lap, staring at Hajime’s chest. _You can call me google, I have everything you’re looking for_.

“You told me to wear it on a date.”

“I remember.” Tooru beamed. “Never thought it’d be _our_ date, though.” Hajime laughed.

“Neither did I.”

“Looks new, haven’t worn it much?” Hajime flashed him a smug smile when he detected the hint of jealousy in Tooru’s voice.

“Never before. The sports shirt is the one I wear the most. There’s a Mexican guy in my gym that loves it, bursting out in laughter every time I walk in.”

They laughed together and then silence fell upon them. Tooru’s hands fidgeted on his lap, a knot of nerves forming on his stomach. He bit his bottom lip looking at Hajime, who was simply looking back with a crooked smile, waiting. He had known Tooru all his life and he knew when he was trying to order the words in his mind.

“I’m nervous.” Tooru finally confessed, and started blabbering. “Why am I nervous? I shouldn’t be nervous. I mean, it’s you, why would I be nervous? Hajime, I-”

“If you say the word nervous one more time, this date is gonna end sooner than I expected.” Tooru gasped, faking offense.

“Would you throw me out or something?”

“Nope, I’d just have to kiss you until you couldn’t think properly.” Tooru blushed in less than a second and Hajime laughed. Tooru grunted and rested his chin on his hand.

“You’re too smooth, Iwa-chan. It’s not fair.” Hajime shrugged, smiling, and popped the wine open. He poured it on their glasses and proposed a toast.

“To us.”

“How original, Hajime.” Hajime rolled his eyes and Tooru giggled. “To us.”

They took a sip and Tooru grimaced. The wine didn’t taste badly, but compared to the one he was used to in Argentina… Hajime laughed and asked if he’d prefer water. A muttered _yes, please_ left Tooru’s lips and Hajime stood up and walked to the kitchen. Tooru watched him go and come back, and Hajime kissed him briefly before handing him the glass and sitting on his chair in front of him. Tooru opened his mouth to say something but closed it, and shook his head. Hajime raised an eyebrow.

“What is it?” Tooru took a deep breath.

“I’m… I was thinking, I’m actually happy they did this, because I need to talk to you.” Hajime slowly put his fork in the bowl. “I- We’ve had some communication issues in our past.” Hajime nodded in agreement. “I don’t want that to happen again and, don’t get me wrong, I loved the surprise, it was truly movie-likewise but… We didn’t talk. And I… I…”

“Tooru.” Hajime took his hand over the table and squeezed it. “I get it. I also wanted to talk to you.” He felt Tooru was a bit tense, his eyes wide open and analyzing him. Hajime’s mouth formed a reassuring smile. “Would you prefer it if we have dinner and then chat on the couch?” Tooru sighed and smiled back, shoulders relaxing.

“Yeah, I’d love to. I’ll order my ideas meanwhile.”

Hajime flashed him his signature crooked smile and they began eating. Tooru couldn’t hide his face of pure pleasure and Hajime explained that was Susan’s mother's top-secret recipe. He told him how at the beginning of their second year, Susan had spent a week only cooking that dish, trying to master it. Tooru listened to him with sparkly eyes. He remembered that week, and the food poisoning that had affected all of them right after. It seemed like she had improved since then.

They kept talking and bickering fluently as they had always done, except that time there were also flirty comments flying between them that made the other blush -especially Hajime but Tooru wasn’t far behind- and playful touches under the table. Tooru couldn’t stop thinking how handsome Hajime looked; his green eyes shining by the candlelight.

They finished eating and cleared the table. Hajime put everything in the dishwasher while Tooru took their glasses to the coffee table and sank on the couch. He had prepared _that_ conversation with Paula for the last couple sessions, he knew what he had to say and they had evaluated all the possible outcomes. Tooru had felt ready, relaxed, but at that moment, with Hajime putting the candles on the table and sitting on the couch next to him, his heart sped up its beating and he felt a knot of nerves settling in his stomach.

But it disappeared when Hajime snuggled up closer to him until their knees touched and Tooru wrapped his arm around Hajime’s shoulders. They were supposed to be talking but that was a bit difficult with their mouths occupied. Tooru’s tongue caught a wine aftertaste and thought the drink tasted definitely better coming from Hajime. He gripped his thigh and sucked on his bottom lip, dragging out a whine from his throat.

“I thought we were gonna talk.”

“Change of plans.” Tooru ran his lips down his neck, peppering it with kisses.

“Tooru…” Hajime said his name with an amused hint, pushing him back gently. Tooru sighed.

“Sorry, you’re right.” He pecked him and scooted back, leaving a huge space between them, which made Hajime laugh. “Go on, laugh all you want, if I’m any closer I’ll jump you.” Hajime rolled his eyes.

“How do we do it? You first?” Tooru nodded and took a deep breath.

“First of all, I’m sorry for the silent treatment.” Hajime frowned.

“What are you-”

“The month after I got the package.” Tooru smiled sadly. “I-I did it on purpose. I disappeared from social media, I barely texted you, I rejected the calls… All that.” Hajime’s mouth formed a silent ‘o’. He had forgotten. “It wasn’t a mature reaction and I’m really sorry for all the hurt that I caused you.”

“It’s okay Tooru, I-” Hajime stopped his words when he saw Tooru’s look and the murderous promise that laid beneath it if he dared to blame himself. “Okay. I forgive you.” Hajime chuckled. “Who would’ve thought Shittykawa would ever grow up?”

“Mean Iwa-chan.” Tooru smiled and pushed him lightly on the shoulder. Then, he inhaled deeply. “I grew up thanks to my psychologist.” Hajime’s laugh died on his lips and his worried frown appeared.

“Your…”

“Psychologist. Her name’s Paula. I’ve been going since March.” Hajime seemed to weigh for a moment what to say.

“Thanks for telling me. That’s great.” Tooru giggled.

“Yes, it is.” Then, his look turned serious, but his mouth was still molded in a small smile. “She’s helping me a lot.” Tooru took a deep breath, and then another, trying to calm himself. Hajime noticed and moved closer on the couch to grab his hand.

“Tooru, you don’t have to say more if you don’t want to. I’m really grateful that you’ve trusted me with this, but I don’t wanna force you-”

“But I want to.” The determined gaze Tooru gave him sent shivers down his spine. “I want you to know everything. I don’t want secrets between us. It was what doomed us before.” Tooru’s lips curled up in a sad smile. “We promised to talk about everything but then we fell in love and instead of talking about it we kept it a secret and hurt each other and-” Hajime leaned forward and kissed him, catching him by surprise.

“I’m sorry.” Hajime whispered. “That was my fault.” Tooru opened his mouth to retort but Hajime pressed his index finger against his mouth. “It was. I’m the one who hurt you because I was too cowardly to accept my feelings. I…” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Then, he smiled fondly. “I’ve loved you since I was fifteen.” Tooru’s eyes widened and he frowned. He reopened his mouth but soon again Hajime’s finger was on him. “Let me speak.” Tooru nodded and Hajime lowered his hand. Tooru’s eyes were fixed on his face, full of questions, as Hajime had imagined. “I didn’t tell you back then because I was scared and didn’t want to ruin our friendship, and I thought you were straight, so… I tried to get over you. I kept repeating to myself that it wasn’t love, over and over again…” Hajime sighed. Tooru squeezed his hand, a simple gesture of reassurance that filled Hajime’s heart with warmth.

Hajime bit the inside of his cheek and kept talking. Tooru listened intently, with a hint of sadness in his eyes as he heard how Hajime had felt all those years. Hajime noticed it - _obviously_ \- and flicked his forehead, reminding him it wasn’t his fault and that the past is past. He was more than fine.

He explained how Susan and him had been working on it. They had scheduled weekly sessions at her internship clinic, to change the scenery from their house, and also had agreed that Hajime wouldn’t be her last patient, so he could walk home alone and have some time to disconnect before meeting her again at the apartment.

He told Tooru that was part of the reason he had waited a day before asking him out. Susan and him wanted to see how Hajime’s mind acted once he had Tooru in front of him again, and how Hajime felt.

“Well, considering the outcome I’d say you felt pretty great.” Hajime burst out laughing and Tooru joined him. When their chuckles faded out, he squeezed his hand. “Thanks for telling me.”

“Thanks for listening. I-I feel like I cut you off earlier.” Hajime blushed lightly and Tooru giggled. “Do you wanna keep talking about your sessions?” Tooru nodded.

He felt more relaxed, so once he opened his mouth, he couldn’t stop. He told Hajime _everything_. All the worries he had shared, the tips Paula had given him, the techniques to overcome his insecurities and traumas… Tooru felt Hajime’s body tensed so he leaned forward and kissed him until he felt him calm down. He smiled and pressed their foreheads together. He told Hajime how much he had spoken about him, and how she helped him figure out what he wanted.

“I… I have no doubts now. I know what I want.” Tooru looked up, locking his eyes with Hajime’s, and grabbed his free hand. “I want you, Hajime. I love you. It’s not temporary, it’s not only physical, it’s not me confusing our friendship, this… Us…” Tooru sighed and held his hands tighter. “Hajime, I want a forever with you. I know it sound cheesy as fuck, and I know it’s soon. _Che_ how long have we been _really_ together? Two days?” He laughed a bit manically and pulled Hajime closer. “But I’m so sure of this. I haven’t been surer of anything in my life.” There were tears in the corners of their eyes and it was taking everything in them to hold them back. “And I know this is gonna be a long-distance relationship for a looooong time, but… eventually, we’ll be together, right?” Hajime bit his bottom lip, unsure of what to say. Tooru was looking at him with puppy eyes full of hope, but he honestly didn’t have an answer. Feeling his doubts, Tooru kept talking. “I-I don’t want you to panic. I’m not asking you to plan your whole life now but, Hajime…” Tooru took his face in his hands. “I love you, so _so_ much. I can’t even remember how my life was without loving you, without constantly longing to be in your arms and kiss you and touch you and-” Hajime launched himself forward, wrapping his arms around Tooru’s neck, tears spilling down his cheeks.

“M-Me too, Tooru. Me too. I love you so fucking much.” Hajime cupped his face in his hands and stared at him. “I’m gonna love you my whole life.”

“Hajime…”

“It’s gonna be hard, that’s for sure. But not impossible, not for us…” Hajime sighed. “I can’t promise you an exact date, only that we will definitely be together. We just have to go little by little. For now, you’re in San Juan until next year and then you-”

“I’m gonna stay.” Hajime blinked a couple times in surprise, and dropped his hands to the couch.

“What?” Tooru bit his bottom lip, becoming a bit anxious beneath Hajime’s look.

“I’ve thought about it. I’ve got a few offers, even from Bolívar, but I want to sign for more years with the Athlético…” Tooru carefully inspected Hajime’s face, which had softened after the initial shock. “I-I’m sorry I hadn’t told you earlier, there’s nothing set on stone yet, I-” Hajime smiled, pressing a finger on his lips.

“You’re telling me now.” Hajime caressed Tooru’s cheek with his thumb. “And besides, it makes sense. It’s a good team, good people, and you’re on a huge winning streak.”

“But-”

“No _but_ s. You stay in San Juan at least a couple more years, and I’ll be with the Polar Bears until 2018, as we knew.” Tooru nodded and Hajime took one of Tooru’s hands in his own. “Those are three years that we know where we’re gonna be, what do you think?” Tooru smiled brightly, the worry knot in his stomach disappearing.

“I think it’s perfect.” He whispered, leaning forward to press a soft kiss on Hajime.

“We’ll see how things flow, okay?”

“Okay.” Tooru answered, a bit shyly. Hajime put his arms around his shoulders, while Tooru put his hands on his waist.

“Don’t try to run, Tooru. One day at a time.” Tooru sighed and his lips curled up.

“One day at a time.”

Hajime gently played with Tooru’s hair on the back of his neck, staring at him and melting watching all the love reflected in them. They weren’t saying anything; didn’t need to. They had put their cards on the table and knew where they both stood. Hajime’s heart ached, thinking that after that week they wouldn't be seeing each other until Christmas, but he forced himself to banish those thoughts from his mind.

Tooru hummed softly and closed his eyes, feeling his scalp being massaged by Hajime’s fingers. He felt ecstatic, having let everything out. There was a warmth in his chest that had spread through all his body, a calmness, a certainty. Hajime wanted their _forever_. Being honest, Tooru had felt a bit stupid when he had talked to Paula about it. They weren’t even _dating_ , and there he was, rambling about moving and living together. But everything had turned out alright.

Tooru opened his eyes and smiled at Hajime, who was staring fondly at him. Tooru leaned forward and Hajime caught his bottom lip between his. They lazily made out until the tightness in Tooru’s pants became _too much_. He grunted and gripped Hajime’s waist harder, trying to move him to his lap, but he didn’t cooperate. Instead, he pulled back, a cocky grin on his lips.

“Not here.” Hajime whispered. Then, he stood up and offered his hand to Tooru, who took it gladly. Hajime grabbed the collar of Tooru’s shirt and yanked him forward until their lips were barely touching. “The dessert is in my room.” Tooru let out a low growl and Hajime shivered under his lustful gaze.

Stumbling through the apartment, giggling against each other’s mouth, they managed to lock themselves in the bedroom. Eager hands roamed all over their bodies as eager tongues licked the inside of their mouths. Hajime took the hem of Tooru’s shirt and tugged. Without further explanation, Tooru raised his arms and Hajime pulled it over his head, and then removed his own while Tooru moved to lay on his back.

Hajime climbed on the bed and sneaked one thigh between Tooru’s legs. He hovered over him, resting his forearms at the sides of his head and leaned down to bite at his jaw. Tooru let out a sigh as Hajime’s lips moved from his neck to his collarbone, nibbling the exposed skin, sucking softly.

“I’ve missed you…” Hajime nuzzled his head against his neck and Tooru wrapped his arms around his shoulders tightly.

“Missed you too…”

Tooru let out small whimpers as Hajime kept marking him, scratching his back when he bit down. Hajime loved how Tooru’s pale skin turned red under his administrations. Once he was satisfied with his work, he sat up on his thigh to take him in fully. Tooru looked up at Hajime’s face with a hooded gaze, and then down, when he felt his fingers tracing the muscles on his chest.

“You’ve put on weight.” Hajime grinned at him and Tooru couldn’t stop the laughter that shook his whole body. He had never felt happier.

Hajime chuckled and leaned forward to kiss him, though it barely counted as a kiss. Hajime pressed their mouths together while Tooru laughed, and then he shifted his position a bit to be able to press light kisses down Tooru’s chest, all the way to his happy trail. Hajime sucked the skin on his hip bone and Tooru gasped, looking down. Hajime winked at him and unbuttoned his pants.

Tooru’s heart was beating loudly in his ears, and his skin prickled in anticipation. He watched Hajime slide his ripped jeans down his legs and stand up. Tooru propped on his elbows to get a better view of how he undressed himself, leaving only his black briefs on.

“Hajime, you’re perfect.” Tooru whispered in awe, while Hajime got on the bed again, sitting on his lap like the previous night.

“No, you are.” Hajime cupped Tooru’s face in his hands and leaned down to kiss him. “You are, Tooru.” He gave him another kiss. “You’re so handsome…” Kiss “...and strong…” Kiss “...and gorgeous…” Kiss “...and-” Hajime gasped when Tooru manhandled him and turned them around, straddling his lap and pinning his hands to the sheets.

“You always do that.” Tooru smiled smugly.

“Wha-”

“Every time we had sex, you kept telling me how perfect I was.” Hajime blushed lightly; he hadn’t realized he had done it. Tooru let out a deep laugh. “Don’t get me wrong, I fucking loved it, but…” His face softened and he lowered his voice. “Let _me_ worship _you_ this time, okay?” Hajime nodded and Tooru’s lips curled up in a tender smile. He took Hajime’s hands and brought them to his lips. He closed his eyes and kissed his palms, his fingers, his knuckles, while Hajime melted on his mattress and let him do as he pleased. Tooru gently put Hajime’s left hand on the sheets and nuzzled his cheek against the right one, before beginning a trail of kisses down his arm. “You’re so strong, Hajime. So, so strong… Look at this guns” Tooru giggled and playfully bit his bicep and continued leaving kisses over his collarbone and neck, nibbling at his earlobe. “I love how you touch me, how your hands feel on my body…” Tooru sucked on the skin right below Hajime’s ear, dragging out a low moan from his throat. He smiled and leaned back, cupping Hajime’s face, while Hajime rested his hands on Tooru’s hips. Tooru stared intently at Hajime, who blushed harder under the scrutiny. “Your eyes. Do you know how beautiful they are? I think I’ve never seen green more alive than the one in your eyes.” Hajime snorted.

“Now you’re just exaggerating.”

“No, I’m not.” Tooru frowned, and the truth that laid beneath that simple denial got more blood running to Hajime’s cheeks.

“Okay, okay…” Hajime whispered, and Tooru relaxed his features, smiling brightly.

Tooru leaned forward, kissing Hajime gently, causing his heart to flutter faster. For a brief moment, they got lost in each other -hums reverberating in their chests, hands gripping more tightly- and then Tooru giggled, rubbing his nose against Hajime’s.

“Your lips are perfect. So soft, so kissable…” To prove his point, as if he hadn’t been kissing him seven seconds ago, Tooru put his mouth to work again.

Hajime parted his lips and Tooru slid his tongue in. He explored every corner of Hajime hungrily; licked his palate, sucked and bit his bottom lip, clashed their teeth, grunting and dragging out low moans from Hajime. The temperature around him raised, until it was too much and had to lean back. A string of saliva connecting their mouths. Tooru grinded down and whined when he felt Hajime’s hard-on against his ass.

Tooru looked at him with hooded eyes full of desire, and his hands rested on Hajime’s chest. He rocked his hips at an increasingly faster pace, and Hajime couldn’t do anything but sink his head in his pillow and whimper. He moved his hands from Tooru’s hips to his butt and squeezed his cheeks. Tooru gasped and dug his nails into Hajime’s pecs, casually rubbing his nipples with the palm of his hands. Hajime arched his back and moaned. Tooru raised an eyebrow and grinned.

“Oh, Hajime, are you sensitive here?” His eyes shone with mischief as his thumbs slightly rubbed over Hajime’s nubs.

It got him the desired effect. Hajime closed his eyes and whined. Tooru watched in awe how his body squirmed beneath him and how he bit his bottom lip, trying and failing to contain the sounds that were leaving his throat with each brush of Tooru’s thumbs.

Hajime looked delicious, and the need to devour him flooded Tooru’s mind. He bent forward and took the right one in his mouth. He licked it, drawing circles with his tongue and then biting it carefully. Hajime panted and moved one of his hands to Tooru’s hair, burying his fingers in his locks and pulled; a silent request. Tooru chuckled and blew on the nipple, the cold breath making Hajime shivered, before repeating the same administrations over the other nub.

No matter how much Hajime kept pulling, Tooru didn’t stop abusing his chest until _he_ was satisfied. He loved his noises, had missed them so badly during his lonely nights in San Juan. Every time he jerked off, he remembered Hajime’s moans and his blissful expression. Tooru sucked harder and Hajime whimpered, making Tooru’s cock throb in his boxers, reminding him that there were more interesting things he could be doing. 

Reluctantly, Tooru let go of his nipples and trailed down his abs with his lips, pressing light kisses until he reached Hajime’s last piece of clothing. He licked his lips and sneaked his fingers under the edge of his briefs. Tooru looked up and his eyes met Hajime’s, who had propped himself on his elbows for a better view. With a grin on his face, Tooru slid the garment down his legs, finally freeing his cock. It looked much better than in his memories.

Tooru purred and caressed Hajime’s thighs, slowly positioning himself better between his spread legs. Hajime seemed to read his mind at that moment because his face turned completely red and he began stuttering.

“T-Tooru, you don’t nee-” He couldn’t finish because Tooru took his cock in his hand and wrapped his lips around the head, sucking lightly. Hajime threw his head back and moaned loudly. Tooru swirled his tongue over the tip and let go.

“I’ve missed you so bad, Hajime.” Tooru stroked him slowly, peppering his length with kisses as he spoke. “I love your cock, love how it fills my ass perfectly… I wonder if it’s the same with my mouth.”

Tooru wrapped his lips around his cock again, but took more of Hajime this time. He bobbed his head slowly, drawing circles with his tongue, careful not to graze the skin with his teeth. His eyebrows furrowed in concentration, trying to remember everything he had read. He had never given a blowjob before and only received one -thanks Hajime- but he was determined to make him enjoy it.

Hajime had collapsed on his mattress; the sight too much for him. He felt the vibrations of Tooru’s hums around him and parted his lips, letting out a raspy moan. The sound only encouraged Tooru, who smiled and downed his head to take him further. Tooru stopped moving and breathed deeply through his nose until he was used to.

One of his hands was firmly wrapped around his cock, stroking the length that didn’t fit his mouth, and he fumbled his free one across the bed until he found Hajime’s fist. Tooru took it and placed it on his hair. Hajime knew perfectly his intentions.

“A-Are you sure?”

Tooru nodded with his mouth still full and his eyes squeezed shut. Hajime gulped. It was already taking everything in him not to buck his hips up, and he was losing his self-control with each suck. He gripped his locks and pulled softly. Tooru moaned around his cock and Hajime cursed.

Tooru bobbed his head up and down at the pace Hajime was marking. It wasn’t too fast, but still was faster than the one he had been carrying. He tried his best to keep working him but, in the end, he gave up, resting both hands flat on the bed. Only when Hajime slowed down, he put his tongue to work again.

He drew circles over the tip, causing Hajime to moan lewdly and stop tugging at his hair. Tooru took advantage of it and focused on swirling his tongue and sucking the head to keep those sounds coming out of his throat. His own cocked throbbed, painfully hard and unattended, and he began rutting against the mattress, searching for a bit of friction, some sort of relief…

Hajime felt the familiar pressure on his lower abdomen and his breathing hitched. He tightened the grip on his locks, trying to push Tooru away from his cock. That wasn’t how he wanted to end.

“T-Tooru…” Hajime whined. “Stop. I-I’m gonna cum.”

Luckily for him, Tooru listened and let go with a lewd _pop_. He sat up on the mattress, cleaning the spit on the corners of his mouth, and grinned at Hajime.

“I really wanted to do that.”

Hajime didn’t answer. He flashed him a crooked smile and watched as Tooru stood up to remove those tight red briefs that looked so good on him. Hajime’s mouth watered when the piece of clothing slid down his legs and his cock sprung free.

Tooru chuckled, enjoying his reaction, and got on the bed between Hajime’s legs, hovering over him.

“How was it?” He was still wearing that cocky grin of his, but Hajime detected the hint of uneasiness in his voice. He put his hands on his nape and forced him to lean down until his mouths were a breath away.

“Perfect… Thank you.” Hajime pressed their lips together and Tooru hummed, content.

They didn’t move for a couple of minutes, allowing their eagerness to cool down a bit before going for the main course. Their kisses were slow and intimate, but full of hunger. Hajime’s hands wandered over Tooru’s back, pressing his fingertips on each lump on his spine and digging his nails in his soft skin when Tooru sucked on his bottom lip. Then, Tooru began pressing a trail of light kisses from his jaw to his neck and then to his collarbone.

“Tooru…” Hajime sighed, feeling all the love that laid beneath his touches. “Tooru, fuck me…”

Tooru froze, and for a moment Hajime thought that he was gonna reject the idea completely. Hajime didn’t mind; he was fine with both sceneries and the last thing he wanted was to make Tooru uncomfortable. But he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t imagined it every single time he had jerked off lately.

“Are you sure?” Tooru turned his head to look at Hajime, whose skin prickled in anticipation seeing the fire burning in his eyes.

Hajime blushed and nodded; it was all Tooru needed.

He got off the bed swiftly and Hajime propped on his elbows with a raised eyebrow. Tooru was kneeling on the floor, rummaging through his open suitcase, until he found what he was looking for. Hajime grinned when a box of condoms bounced off the mattress.

“Someone thought about it, huh?” Tooru blushed with a small smile on his lips.

“Shut up, it was a possibility.”

Hajime chuckled and reached for his drawer to get the lube, while Tooru positioned between his legs sitting on his heels. Hajime threw him the bottle and Tooru caught it on the air. Tooru’s heart beat faster when Hajime sneaked his hands under his knees to spread his legs further. He looked delicious, exposing himself like that _for him_ , and his cock twitched anticipating how good it was about to feel.

With fumbling hands, Tooru opened the bottle and coated his fingers with lube. He proceeded to rub them against the others to warm it up, and to get some more time to calm down. He had thought about it _a lot_ ; he wanted it. But he couldn’t help being nervous. He took a deep breath and moved his hand to Hajime’s rim, gently brushing it and spreading the lube.

“H-Have you ever done this?” His voice cracked and Hajime raised an eyebrow. “T-To yourself, I mean. O-Of course you’ve done it to others, you did it to m-me…” Tooru laughed nervously and Hajime bit down the need to tease him.

“Yes, only with two. And before you ask, special and not special occasions.” Tooru blushed harder and chuckled; that tiny memory from their first time enough to take off the pressure on his shoulders.

_Ready?_ he whispered, and Hajime nodded, sighing when Tooru pushed his index inside. It felt weird not being his own finger, but so, _so_ good. Through heavy eyelids Hajime stared at Tooru, who had regained that concentration frown. He seemed hypnotized by the view; eyes focused on Hajime’s entrance.

Tooru kept a steady pace, pulling in and out with long thrusts, until Hajime clenched around him. Tooru looked up and Hajime nodded.

A shiver ran down Hajime’s spine when Tooru slid a second finger. He rolled his head back and opened his mouth in a silent whimper. Tooru didn’t move, letting him adjust. Instead, he caressed Hajime’s thighs up and down. Tooru tentatively scissored his fingers while carefully watching his expression.

Hajime let out a deep moan and locked eyes with Tooru, who grinned and pulled back slowly, enjoying the sight of Hajime squeezing his eyes shut and his parted lips. He thrusted his fingers in with a swift motion of his wrist making Hajime shiver and whine.

Tooru kept up a fast pace, sometimes slowing down to scissor his fingers, stretching him open. Hajime was unable to control his noises anymore; each one of his moans reached Tooru’s ears and traveled down to his cock. Hajime gripped his thighs harder and spread his legs all he could, enjoying the light burning sensation every time Tooru pushed in.

The fingers inside him curled up and rubbed his prostate. Hajime gasped, arching his back, and Tooru stopped. _Jackpot_. He licked his lips and chuckled, watching the desperate plea in Hajime’s gaze. He had fingered himself plenty of times and even if doing it to someone else was a bit different, he knew what he had to do. Tooru continued brushing that spot, dragging out the most delicious moans from Hajime, until they turned to screams.

Tooru pulled out his fingers and then Hajime felt three of them against his rim. He took a deep breath and looked at Tooru, who stared at him with eyes full of lust.

“May I? Hajime, may I?” Hajime nodded eagerly. Three fingers, his cock… He didn’t care, he needed Tooru to _do something_. “Breathe…” Hajime inhaled, and Tooru pushed in.

It burnt. Hajime frowned and closed his eyes. Tooru’s hand was still, but Hajime knew he was moving by the dips on the mattress. He felt Tooru’s chest pressed against his and gasped, having been caught by surprise, which Tooru took advantage of to slide his tongue in his mouth. He kissed him fiercely, until Hajime relaxed and the burning sensation decreased.

“Are you okay?” Tooru pressed their foreheads together. Hajime melted hearing the concern in his voice, and smiled fondly at him.

“Never better.”

Hajime asked him to move with a whisper, and Tooru complied. He pulled out slightly until he found that sweet spot again and rubbed it, sending a bolt of pleasure across Hajime. Tooru kept moving his wrist, giving him quick thrusts in. He scissored his fingers, always leaning forward to bite Hajime’s neck in order to make him ignore the stretch.

“Tooru, please…” Hajime whimpered.

“Okay, okay…”

Tooru took his fingers out and leaned back, recovering his initial kneeling position. He had managed to forget his nerves while prepping Hajime, but they came back as soon as he grabbed the condom package. With trembling hands, he opened it and slid it down his cock. He took the bottle of lube and spread it over his length thoroughly.

Hajime had rarely felt small. He was taller than average, and years of playing sports and gym had given him a broad back and thick thighs, especially since he had been living in California. But when Tooru finished preparing himself and moved to hover over him… He felt caged, in a good way. Tooru’s muscles had definitely grown in Argentina. His heart began pounding loudly in his chest.

Tooru took his cock and lined it up with his entrance. Hajime held his breath as he began pushing in, silently thanking him for having been patient for once in his life while stretching him before. He rolled his head back and moaned when Tooru sank further into him.

“Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck…” Hajime let out a raspy laugh watching Tooru’s ecstatic expression. “Ha-Hajime you feel so good. I-It’s so tight, so warm… Fuck, I’m not gonna last…”

Hajime put one hand on Tooru’s nape and brought him closer to kiss him. Tooru moaned in his mouth and rolled his hips in shallow thrusts until Hajime put his other hand on his ass, pushing him further inside. Hajime sighed and Tooru gasped, his whole body shivering.

“I-I’m serious, Hajime…”

“Just think of Godzilla or something like that. I did it and it worked.” Tooru’s body stiffened and he frowned at Hajime.

“I can’t believe you thought of that giant dinosaur while you were inside of me!”

“I had to! I would’ve lasted five seconds otherwise.”

Tooru let out a whine and hid his face in the crook of Hajime’s neck, embarrassed. Hajime dug his heels on the sheets and kept pushing Tooru inside, dragging out a whine from both their throats. Tooru grabbed the hand that was nailed on his butt cheek and pinned it next to Hajime’s head.

“I can do it. I’m okay now. Just enjoy it…”

And he meant it. Tooru was sure he could last at least five minutes, being optimistic. His wildest fantasies couldn’t begin to compete against the real experience. He thrusted forward, watching the rest of his cock disappearing inside Hajime, who had never felt so full.

Tooru stilled his hips, letting Hajime adjust around him and his heart slow down. His gaze traveled up from their junction to his eyes. Hajime was panting and looking at Tooru with such fondness that made him blush. His lips were red, glossy and swollen, and Tooru couldn’t nor wanted to stop himself.

He leaned forward and kissed him. Softly, gently, trying to make Hajime understand all the love he felt for him. Hajime answered him with eagerness, wrapping his arms around Tooru’s shoulders to press their bodies impossibly closer.

“Love you so much”

“I love you too.”

Hajime had never felt like that. His skin was on fire. Tooru began moving lazily, slowly thrusting in and out. His muscles flexed with the effort, his bangs were stuck to his forehead, and he grunted, breathing deeply as he kept making Hajime see the stars.

Tooru drank all the noises spilling out of his mouth. All the sighs when he pulled out and all the moans when he slammed back in. It was getting hard to resist the urge to increase the speed but he didn’t want to hurt him, he wanted Hajime to have the best experience possible. It wasn’t their first time together but still it was a first, for both of them. He didn’t want to ruin it.

Hajime was in glory, but he needed more. He wrapped his legs around Tooru’s waist, digging his heels on his lower back, and whispered _faster_. Tooru nodded and shifted his position, lifting his chest up and gripping the sheets at both sides of Hajime’s head. Hajime rolled his eyes and moaned loudly when Tooru’s thrusts got faster but just as deep.

Tooru was trying his best to find his prostate. It wasn’t as easy as with his fingers and he didn’t exactly know how to angle his thrusts, but he got it. Not repeatedly, but sometimes he felt it, and it always made Hajime arched his back and gasped his given name, which consequently brought Tooru closer to the edge.

“Touch yourself. Ha-Hajime, touch for me…”

Hajime obeyed, feeling already the heat pooling in his lower abdomen. He had been about to cum two times earlier, and when his fingers wrapped around his shaft, he knew that was it. Tooru read his face and rolled his hips faster.

Hajime arched his back and white stripes painted his chest. His face was contorted in pleasure and he looked so good… Tooru felt him clenching around his cock and moaned.

“Y-Your face…” Tooru stuttered, his thrusts becoming erratic. “Fuck, your face Hajime… Y-You liked it?”

His orgasm hit him before Hajime could answer. Tooru snapped his hips forward and came with a broken whine. Panting and shaking, he hid his face in the crook of Hajime’s neck. He felt his hands wrapping around his waist and caressing his skin, and the light kiss on his head.

“Loved it, Tooru. Thank you…”

Tooru hummed and turned his head to kiss him. He peppered all his face with soft brushes of his lips, and Hajime sighed, feeling Tooru pulling out of him. He was tired and barely could move. He only wanted to cuddle up next to Tooru and sleep for days.

Tooru tied the condom and stood up on jelly legs. He threw it on the trash can in the bathroom and turned around. Hajime was looking at him with a silly smile and Tooru’s heart skipped a beat. He raised up a finger, telling him to wait a moment. Tooru opened the drawer under the sink and grabbed a clean towel. He soaked the cloth and returned to the bedroom.

Blushing, Tooru got on the bed, kneeling between his legs and proceeded to clean him. When he was done, he threw the towel on the floor, not having a drop of energy left in his body to walk to the washing machine. Hajime chuckled while Tooru moved to snuggle up close to him, mumbling _tired_.

Hajime put one arm over him and sneaked the other under the pillow, moving closer and pressing their foreheads together.

“Not bad for our first date, huh?” Tooru whispered, his lips curling up in a small smile. Hajime snorted.

“This isn’t our first date.” Tooru frowned, and Hajime chuckled. “That day in LA, when I took you to the observatory.” He explained “I thought you looked so handsome with the sunset lights. I should’ve kissed you back then. I wanted to.”

Tooru’s cheeks turned red and Hajime laughed, leaning forward to kiss him. Tooru had mocked him the day before because of his blushing and now it was Hajime’s turn.

“By the way, did you think of Godzilla?”

“What?”

“You lasted more than I expected” Hajime laughed harder watching Tooru’s face completely covered in red. “Come on! Tell me what you thought of!” He pouted, knowing Tooru found it irresistible. Hajime could see the hesitation in Tooru’s eyes, but eventually he sighed.

“King Kong.” Silence. And then Hajime burst out laughing, ignoring Tooru’s pleas for him to shut up. “It was your fault! You mentioned Godzilla and my mind thought of monsters and-” He narrowed his eyes. “Hajime, stop laughing or I’m never fucking you again.”

  
Hajime tried, he really did, but the whole situation and Tooru’s face were too much for him. He buried his face on the pillow and cackled, while Tooru whined _you’re so mean, Iwa-chan_.

* * *

**_27th August, 2015_ **

“There you go, have a nice day!”

Tessa waved goodbye to the little girl and handed her father the ticket. She put the money in the cash register and leaned on the counter, closing her eyes.

It was a splendid day. The sun was shining and warming her skin, the clients were nice, and her boss had told her they closed an hour earlier. Life was smiling at her.

“Oh, hello.” Tessa snapped her eyes open when her brain recognized the voice.

Standing behind the counter, Hajime looked at her with wide eyes.

“Uh, hi.”

It was an uncomfortable situation, both of them would agree if asked. They hadn’t talked again after their _date_ , and since they went to class on opposite sides of campus, they never ran into each other. Hajime scratched the back of his head and smiled awkwardly.

“Didn’t know you worked here.”

“I started two months ago.”

“Good, good.”

Tessa smiled, not knowing what to say. That date hadn’t been the worst one she had ever been in, but it was a bit disappointing, as it always is when you find out that your crush is actually crushing on someone else. She didn’t hold a grudge against him, but still, meeting like that wasn't clearly the most pleasant situation for either of them. She decided to be professional and get over it quickly.

“Bike or roller skates?”

“Sorry?”

“Do you want a bike or roller skates? I assume you’re here for that.” Tessa pointed at the inside of the store behind her.

“Right, right.” Hajime shook his head to step out of his stupor. “Roller skates. Four pairs.”

“Four?”

“Tessa!?”

She turned her head in the direction the yell came from and widened her eyes when she saw Tooru approaching them, followed by two other Japanese men. He was waving excitedly and smiling brightly, and once he reached them, he leaned over the counter to hug her tightly. She frowned but hugged him back, looking at Hajime who was staring at them with a shocked expression.

“It’s been so long! How have you been?” He stepped back, breaking the hug.

“Uh, great. Busy with college and trying to save up some money. What about you? Still in Argentina?”

“Yep, crushing the spirits of any rival ahead of me.” He grinned and Tessa giggled. “What a coincidence that you work here! Iwa-chan, did you know it?” Hajime blinked a couple times and shook his head.

“No, I didn’t know it.”

That was it, the end of the conversation. Tooru giggled and then silence fell upon them. The three of them shared polite looks and tensed smiles. Tooru stared at Hajime and pointed with his head at Tessa but Hajime only frowned and tilted his head.

“Well, isn’t this awkward.” Mattsun said when the quietness became unbearable. He cleared his throat and turned to Tessa. “Nice to meet you, I’m Issei but you can call me Mattsun, and this is Takahiro, my boyfriend. They call him Makki. We've been friends since high school.” Tessa welcomed his interruption with open arms.

“Nice to meet you too. First time in LA?”

“Yes, we came for Taylor’s concert and took the opportunity to visit him.”

“So cool, I’m sure you had a great time.”

“We did. We-”

“...apologize. If you don’t, I will!” The three of them turned to look at the couple that had been whispering but whose volume was increasing.

“Tooru, I don’t know if Tessa cares…”

“That’s not important! You-”

“Hey!” Tessa decided to cut the light argument when she heard her name. “What are you two talking over there?” Tooru looked at her with determination.

“Your date. I’m insisting that he should apologize to you.” Tessa widened her eyes. She wasn’t expecting that.

“Oh.” She smiled politely. “It’s okay. It’s not important.”

“It is. Hajime was a jerk. He didn’t take into account your feelings, wasted your time and then he ignored you!”

“Tooru…” Hajime was blushing to the tip of his ears while Makki covered his mouth to muffle his chuckles.

“Well, when you put it like that…” Tessa grinned and looked at Hajime, who sighed.

“I’m sorry, Tessa. _Really sorry_ , even if it doesn’t seem like it. Especially for not talking to you after. I-” Tessa raised her hand to stop him.

“Hajime, it’s okay. As I said, it’s not important. I just hope that you realized _everything_.” She glanced at Tooru who laughed while Hajime’s face reddened.

“He did.” Tooru took his hand and pressed a kiss on the back of his palm.

“About time.”

All of them laughed -except Hajime, who was busy forcing his cheeks back to his normal color- and kept chatting lively, until new clients arrived behind them and Tessa had to go back to work. She gave them their skates and the ticket they had to show at Santa Monica’s office.

“And that’d be it. You need something else?”

“Actually, yes.” Tooru smiled. “We’re going to the beach tomorrow night with the others, do you wanna come?”

“The others?”

“Susan, Carol and Peter. Heisler Park cove. Will you come, please? If you don’t have other plans of course.” Tessa was startled. Tooru’s smile slightly crooked, but his eyes were still full of hope. “Pretty please?”

“Yeah, sure. I’d love to.”

She gave him a bright smile and Tooru beamed, rolling to Hajime while she said goodbye to Mattsun and Makki.

“That was surprisingly mature of you.” Hajime said with a shocked expression. “I thought you’d be jealous or something.”

“Don’t act so surprised Iwa-chan, it’s one of the outcomes of the therapy.” Tooru grinned. “I’m a grown up now, don’t you love me?”

Hajime grabbed him from the straps of his tank top and yanked him forward, kissing him deeply. Tooru opened his eyes wide, being caught by surprise and losing his balance, almost falling. The laughter and whistling of their friends could be heard in the background. Hajime let him go and giggled, watching Tooru’s dumbstruck expression.

“I do love you, dumbass.”

They skated all the way to Santa Monica pier, enjoying the sun and each other’s company. Mattsun was in charge of taking pictures, being the one that was most used to skate -every day, from their apartment to the funeral home- but even with all that practice, he couldn’t avoid almost bumping into another group of tourists while being distracted. Fortunately, he could hug a streetlight instead of falling, but that didn’t save him from the teasing.

When they passed in front of Muscle Beach, all the jokes fell on Hajime. Makki yelled questions about all the hours he had spent there while Tooru rolled closer to him and whispered to his ear all kinds of dirty compliments and recalls of the previous night that made Hajime blush.

At the rental store in the pier, they were greeted by a man around their age that took their ticket and the roller skates. Mattsun asked him for recommendations to go to dinner later and he enthusiastically told him about his favorite bar nearby, ending the conversation with a wink that caused Makki to glare at the stranger, grab Mattsun’s hand and run out of there as Tooru and Hajime bent over in laughter.

They left their bags on the sand next to an elderly couple who kindly accepted to watch over them while they swam. They splashed around and laughed together like they haven’t done in ages until they became thirsty and went back to their towels to drink some water.

Tooru had the wonderful idea of bringing along beach paddles and he and Makki were immersed in an intense match while Mattsun and Hajime sunbathed watching them. Their competitiveness escalated quickly until Makki almost hit a kid in the head and Tooru shrieked. Hajime suggested _maybe_ they should stop playing and they agreed, putting the paddles away and joining their partners on the towels.

Soon it was lunch time, and they took out the sandwiches and chips. Mattsun noticed it was the first time that week the four of them sat together to talk: Tooru had stayed at the apartment jet lagged the first day and at the park they had been too busy trying not to die from an insolation to have a proper conversation.

They decided to take turns. Hajime offered to go first since, as he stated, there wasn’t anything exactly new with him. He liked the internship, Takashi was easy to work with and the team listened to him - _not like some people that I know, and yes, I’m looking at you three_ \- which he really appreciated.

Mattsun had decided to enroll next autumn in a seminar about emotional therapy and coping with grief, to be able to better help his clients.

“Aaaand I’m moving to Tokyo.” Tooru spit his water hearing Makki. Hajime widened his eyes.

“You what?”

“I’m moving to Tokyo! I’ve already found an apartment and met my roommate who’s super nice and-”

“Hold on, wait a minute!” Tooru raised his hand in front of Makki. “What do you mean? _Why_? You-” He turned to Mattsun. “You’re still together. You have that ring and-”

“Tooru.” Hajime took his hand and forced him to look at him. “Breathe. Let him talk.” Tooru sighed and nodded. He took a deep breath and turned his head. Mattsun and Makki shared knowing glances, a hint of sadness in the former’s eyes.

“Hiro has finally realized what he wants to do with his life.” Makki chuckled.

“What a way to put it, Issei.” He looked at his friends. “I’ve signed up in a cosmetology program in Yamano. It’s only a year, and then I’ll be back at Sendai to open my own hairdresser. After my graduation last June I was like: now what? And one day I was cutting Issei’s hair and I thought _wow I really love this_ and that was it.”

“I’m happy for you.” Hajime beamed and patted his back.

“Me too.” Tooru muttered, looking at Mattsun with a sad gaze, and he smiled.

“Oikawa, it’s just a year. We’ll be okay. Now come on, it’s your turn. Brag about your life and lighten up the mood.”

“Well.” He gulped. “You all know we won the league, and Marcos received the best middle blocker award. It’s been a great season.” He smiled softly. Hajime frowned and moved to sit closer to him, putting one hand on his knee.

“Tooru, what’s wrong?” 

“They didn’t call me.” Tooru took a deep breath. “The Japan Volleyball Association. The recruitment period finished and they didn’t call me.” Makki and Mattsun looked at each other, not knowing what to say. Hajime took Tooru’s chin and forced him to look at him.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” His tone wasn’t accusatory. “Last night at dinner, I-”

“I honestly forgot.” Tooru laughed. “I haven’t been thinking a lot about it, I had other things in my mind.” He raised his eyebrows seductively and Hajime rolled his eyes, smiling. “It’s… weird. I don’t know how to feel. Blanco said he’s sure they’ll call me next time, that I’m still young… Guess the only thing I can keep doing is practice, so…” Tooru shrugged. Hajime pressed a kiss on his cheek and Tooru smiled and turned his head to give him one on the lips.

“Okay, so that didn’t lighten up the mood at all.” All laughed at Mattsun’s statement. “What about some gossip from our dear kouhais?” Tooru’s eyes filled with sparkles.

“Yes! I’m sure they’re not telling us everything in the group chat!”

“Indeed, they aren’t.” Makki grinned.

“We had dinner the other day with Yahaba, and you’ll never guess who he slept with.”

“A girl in his class?” Hajime frowned and Tooru hit his shoulder.

“That wouldn’t be gossip, Iwa-chan! It has to be someone unexpected! I’m saying Watachi’s ex-girlfriend.” Mattsun shook his head and Makki’s grin grew bigger.

“Kyoutani.” Hajime spit the water he was drinking and Tooru shrieked.

“No way!” Mattsun and Makki laughed.

They proceeded to explain to their astonished friends how they played a match with all of them last Christmas. They won, and Mattsun hugged Makki and kissed him in front of them. They had frozen and broke apart immediately but they already saw it, and none of them cared. Turned out Watari was the only straight one in the team, and he had doubts.

“And you didn’t see fit to tell us? I’ve been pretending to date Argentinian women all this time!”

“Nah, it was funny.”

“You don’t have to pretend anymore.” Hajime, who had been quietly hearing his friends, looked up. “Mattsun, take us a picture.”

Mattsun smiled and pulled out his phone. Hajime put his arm around Tooru’s shoulders and brought him closer to him. Tooru blushed lightly when he realized what Hajime wanted to do. He closed his eyes and leaned forward. The kiss was sweet, and Tooru smiled in the middle of it. Hajime put his hand on his cheek and tilted his head, deepening it.

“Enough! My eyes, my poor eyes!” Makki yelled exaggeratedly, and Hajime leaned back.

“Okay, sent. They’ll see it tomorrow morning. Congratulations, you’re super official now.”

Hajime kissed Tooru briefly one more time to bother Makki and then they stood up to collect their things. It was already five in the afternoon and they wanted to have time to explore Santa Monica pier, but they couldn’t agree on what to do so they split in two groups.

Tooru dragged Hajime to the Ferris wheel and they made out through the journey. When it ended, Tooru took Hajime to the booths where he insisted on winning a plushie for him since he had sent _Shittykawa_ to Argentina, and he would need something to sleep with once Tooru left. Hajime pretended to accept reluctantly but deep down he really wanted it.

They were standing in a queue to get ice-cream, with Hajime hugging the dolphin Tooru had got him when he noticed their friends waiting for the roller coaster. They forgot the sweet and joined them. They rode it several times, mixing the couples and laughing at Tooru’s hair, until they decided it was time for dinner.

They picked up their skates and returned to Venice Beach, to a hamburger restaurant Carol had talked Hajime about and since where they could see the iconic sign. They laughed and had a great time, but Hajime’s heart ached thinking about their separation in just two days. He looked at Tooru who was chuckling at Makki’s joke with a full mouth and sighed.

What was he gonna do without him.

* * *

_Mattsun changed the chat name to **Aoba Johgay**_

**Mattsun**

[imageattached.jpg]

**Tooru**

we look adorable iwa-chan 😍

**Watachi**

Congratulations!!!

**Kunimi-chan**

About time

**Yahaba**

why am i not surprised

**Kindaichi**

But Oikawa-san!

Weren’t you dating that woman from the coffee shop?

**Mad Dog-chan**

WTF

* * *

**_28th August, 2015_ **

“ _‘ore friez_!” Tessa yelled with her mouth full.

“Nope! You’ve already eaten Peter’s!” Carol raised her hand with the bag to put it away from Tessa who grunted and tried to take it while the others watched the scene and laughed.

“What have you guys done today?” Susan asked Makki as she gave him a beer.

“We went to Warner Bros Studios.”

“We almost ended up broke buying merchandising.”

Hajime chuckled, lying between Tooru’s legs and enjoying the evening breeze. He took a sip from his soda and looked up. From that angle and with the torches lighting up his face, Tooru was glowing. Hajime positioned himself better so his head was resting on his shoulder and crossed his arms over his chest. Tooru looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

“What is it? Are you cold, Iwa-chan? I can lend you my hoodie but I want it back.” Tooru grinned and Hajime snorted.

“You mean _my_ hoodie, Shittykawa.”

“Nope, it became mine the moment you packed it and sent it to another continent.”

“Whatever.” Hajime lifted his chin and Tooru leaned forward to kiss him with the grin still on his lips.

“Agh, too much PDA for my eyes.” Carol grunted, making everybody laugh, even the couple involved.

“That’s nothing, you should’ve seen them yesterday.” Mattsun made a grimace. “We had to see Iwaizumi grabbing Oikawa’s butt like, every ten minutes or something.”

“Did anyone here have to listen to Hajime talking about how great Toru is for two hours and repeating _he’s just my friend_ after every sentence? No? Thought so, you can’t complain!” Makki was gonna reply but Mattsun covered his mouth.

“Again, I’m sorry about that.” Hajime blushed lightly and Tessa rolled her eyes.

“And again, it’s fine. Thanks to that I noticed the waiter didn’t stop looking at me all night so I came back a week later and got his number.” They all burst out laughing and Susan moved to sit next to Tessa demanding to know the gossip.

They continued talking to each other, sharing stories and having fun. At one point of the night, Tooru stood up and demanded control of the playlist, declaring that the music playing was shitty. He then proceeded to put on his _Clásicos en español_ and took Carol’s hand, forcing her to dance with him.

Tooru wasn’t the best singer in the world, even Hajime would admit that, but he knew how to move. He kept screaming out of tune a David Bisbal song the rest of them have never heard as he spinned and threw a flying kick. Well, he tried to throw it. He jumped and three seconds later his ass was on the sand and his friends were laughing at him, except Hajime.

“You’re gonna hurt yourself, Shittykawa!”

“Oh, and _now_ you care?!” Tooru stood up and walked away headed to a rocky formation.

“When haven’t I?! Tooru!” Hajime sighed and followed him.

When Hajime turned the corner and his silhouette was hidden by the rocks, Tooru grabbed his wrist and brought him closer to him. He pressed their bodies together and smirked.

“Miss me?” Hajime raised an eyebrow.

“Are you drunk?”

“Just _in looooove_.” Tooru singsonged.

“You’re unbelievable.”

“Shut up and kiss me, Hajime.”

Tooru began pressing open mouthed kisses on Hajime’s neck, who bit his bottom lip to suppress the whines that threatened to leave his throat. Tooru’s hands traveled down his spine until they grabbed his ass.

“ _Mine_.” Hajime giggled.

“Yours.”

“Missed it last night.” Tooru pouted and Hajime grinned, leaning closer.

“Stop drinking and you can have it later.”

At his words, Tooru beamed, and launched himself forward to lock their lips together. Hajime laughed against his mouth and wrapped his arms around Tooru’s shoulders. They didn’t know how long they were hidden, tongues fighting and crotches rubbing together, swallowing each other’s moans. They knew they stopped when someone coughed.

“So, not to be a party pooper but I need to pee.” Hajime stepped back instantly and looked at Peter, cheeks quickly covering in red.

“S-Sorry, we’re going.” Hajime took Tooru’s hand and dragged him out of there, while Tooru pouted and muttered _party pooper_.

A couple hours later they got to the apartment, but Makki _really_ didn’t want to stay. It was impossible to pretend the heated aura surrounding Hajime and Tooru wasn’t there, and he wasn’t willing to repeat the second night.

As soon as they walked in, he took the keys they hadn’t taken to the beach and pointed at the new couple.

“One hour.”

He gripped Mattsun’s wrist and walked back to the elevator, hearing the door of the flat closing behind them. The light breeze they had been enjoying at the beach greeted them as they stepped again on the street. Makki held Mattsun’s hand as they walked around the neighborhood in silence.

“It’s not fair we’re the ones that must leave the apartment.” Mattsun chuckled.

“We promised not to taint Susan’s mattress, remember?”

“Still: not fair.”

  
They ended on a bench at a park they passed by on their first day enjoying the quiet and silence of the night, kissing and laughing and sharing whispered _I love you_ s.

* * *

**_29th August, 2015_ **

Hajime absently caressed the back of Tooru’s hand. They had found seats in front of the departure screen and they were waiting for the airport to release the info about his flight.

It shouldn’t take long. They had said goodbye to Makki and Mattsun roughly four hours ago, amongst tears, hugs and promises of calling as soon as they landed, to which Tooru had whined about because _I’ll still be flying then! Not even in Buenos Aires!_

Tooru nuzzled his head on Hajime’s neck and opened his eyes slowly, blinking to get used to the light. Hajime giggled.

“Good morning, sleeping beau.”

“How much have I slept?” Tooru rubbed his eyes and yawned.

“One hour, one hour and a half top.” Hajime smiled and took Tooru’s chin gently, leaning him forward and kissing him softly. “There’s still a little time left for us to move, rest.” Tooru nodded, a soft smile on his lips, and snuggled up again next to Hajime, who put his arm around his shoulders and returned his gaze to the screen.

Hajime went back to caressing the back of his hand, trying not to disturb him. There were still two days left for Tooru to get to San Juan, and knowing how little he could rest on planes, Hajime had insisted on him to take a nap.

He knew they only had minutes left together, he’s _extremely_ aware of it, and he knew other people would rather spend those minutes laughing, talking, kissing… but not him. Hajime was content with Tooru’s presence by his side, feeling his body pressed to him and the rise and fall of his chest.

Twenty minutes later, the information on the screen changed, and Hajime sighed. He shook his shoulder slowly.

“Hey, Tooru, we have to go now…”

Tooru opened his eyes faster this time, a sign that he hadn’t completely fallen asleep again, and nodded. Hajime stood up and held his hand, helping him to stand up. Tooru grabbed his bag and let Hajime guide him through that huge terminal, so different to the one in his dearest San Juan.

“Do you have your jacket handy for when you land?”

“Yes, mum.” Tooru answered with a raspy voice, a product of his nap. Hajime rolled his eyes, smiling.

When they arrived at the security gates, Tooru tensed. Hajime noticed it and turned around frowning, worried. With a quick look at Tooru’s face, he knew what was happening. He closed the distance between them, cupping his face on his hands and kissed him. The tears that Tooru had been holding back fell, and he gripped Hajime’s wrists to keep him there.

“Hajime…”

“I love you, Tooru. Don’t forget it.”

“I know. I love you too.” He sighed. “It’s not fair…” Hajime wiped away his tears.

“No, it’s not…”

“Why can’t we be like Mattsun and Makki? Why couldn’t have we stayed in Japan? And studied something normal and boring, and moved together, and-” Hajime laughed loudly, startling Tooru. “Hajime?”

“We wouldn’t have been happy that way, dumbass!”

Hajime’s laugh was contagious and soon enough Tooru was chuckling with him. He knew perfectly Hajime was right, so instead of pouting and contradicting him, Tooru smiled and pressed their foreheads together.

“I’ll never get used to seeing you go.”

“I could tell you the exact same thing.”

Hajime put his arms around Tooru’s shoulders, and Tooru placed his hands on Hajime’s sides, gently rubbing circles there with his thumbs. _I love you_ , Hajime whispered, and Tooru leaned forward. They moved in sync against each other, and they quickly tilted their heads to deepen the kiss. Tooru tightened his grasp and Hajime parted his lips, to let his tongue enter his mouth.

When the heat around him was too much, and Hajime was unable to contain a moan, he stepped back, his cheeks red and lips swollen. Tooru looked at him with that mischievous gaze that he loved, and Hajime put a lock of Tooru’s hair behind his ear.

Hajime _knew_ Tooru had to leave soon -the queue at the security check was getting longer with every minute passed- but a part of him wanted to be selfish, wanted to make him lose his flight and stay with him, just a couple more days… Tooru saw the wish in his eyes and his heart ached. With all the strength he could gather, he took a step back, breaking contact.

“One day at a time?” Tooru whispered. Hajime smiled fondly.

“One day at a time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Hope you enjoyed the chapter! Feel free to scream at me in the comments or in my dms!
> 
> A couple extra things!  
> 1-[Matsuhana's story](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26799535/chapters/65379400) in case you haven't read it yet   
> 2-Deleted scene from chapter 8: [Tooru Oikawa is a killer](https://twitter.com/makemeadrink_13/status/1343497974723338241)  
> 3-Bonus scene: [Peter + James](https://twitter.com/makemeadrink_13/status/1343242365448974336)

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/makemeadrink_13)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Look What You Started](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27072772) by [Mondisaster](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mondisaster/pseuds/Mondisaster)




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